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30lbs to lose... Started AGAIN yesterday (Darn Lockdown Snacking)

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  • GabiV125GabiV125 Member Posts: 1,128 Member Member Posts: 1,128 Member
    So yesterday was a side step with absolutely nothing achieved from all my tiny habits list - seriously I didn’t even take my vitamins, and had 3 glasses of wine for dinner ☹️.
    Weirdly the last couple of nights I woke up because some animal is chewing the siding right under my window. The noise and vibration is horrible in the middle of the night, and my husband sleeps through. I investigated every morning and can’t find where it goes. I would chuck it at being a mouse, but last night it got spooked and the sounds I heard were not from a quarter pound thing.
    My older daughter went back to school yesterday and my dog cried at her door last night. Give it a week and I’ll be next to him there.
    As for the other things, I can’t go there, sorry.
  • thelastnightingalethelastnightingale Member, Premium Posts: 474 Member Member, Premium Posts: 474 Member
    Really sorry to hear about your boss's aunt and your coworker, Gabi. It's obviously really hard when you know someone well, but even if you don't, it shakes you up. We all feel vulnerable with the pandemic going on and another death in our circle makes that feeling more intense. I can understand why you might be feeling wobbly combined with your daughter going back to school. It's just one hard thing after another right now, isn't it?

    Things sound really overwhelming. They do. You know what, if any of us were in your shoes right now, we'd find it difficult to get back on track as well. You're dealing with a lot, and whilst dwelling on every little detail of the hard stuff is unlikely to help you sleep better at night, I do think it's important for you to acknowledge to yourself in general that things are tough and you can't be expected to be perfect. For now, you need to survive, and if you can tick off one tiny habit, you're coping brilliantly. Don't beat yourself up for not touching the rest of the list. You have to adjust what you can achieve based on your personal circumstances. When things get easier, you can challenge yourself to more.

    Keep posting if you can, but if it gets too hard to go into things, know that you are in our thoughts, and we're all willing you the strength to keep going. It's just one foot after the other in survival mode. You can do this.

    I went off the rails yesterday too - I don't even think I was hungry. I was really tired and preoccupied with work - I couldn't switch off properly, and I just started eating and eating. I've realised it wasn't so much the exhaustion, it was the lack of disconnect. I need to take a look at how I work and make sure anything that is likely to niggle at me gets dealt with first, so I can turn off the laptop in the evening and not still be there mentally. I also need to try to shake off clients in wildly differing timezones as that doesn't help!

    Scales understandably spiked this morning. I still have some of today to get through, but I've tackled it much better, so I'm expecting the scales to largely correct themselves tomorrow. I've tried to be more aware of how the tiredness/work anxiety is making me make bad food decisions, and I've also gone protein-heavy. I had a really protein-rich breakfast and dinner, and that helped with my appetite and keep my energy levels a bit more stable during the day.

    Well done on hitting all your goals today, Barb! I'm super impressed by the exercise. Popped outside today to nip to the postbox and realised it was wet, cold and downright miserable only once I was in the street. Yuck.

    How's your week been so far, Katrina?
    edited January 13
  • clutterqueenclutterqueen Member Posts: 674 Member Member Posts: 674 Member
    Gabi, just be patient with yourself. Your world got tilted a little. It’s sad to lose a coworker and very unsettling to realize maybe we aren’t as safe as we previously thought.
    As for missing your daughter, I’m right there with you. My daughter had to pick up the ashes from her cat after work yesterday. She called me from the parking lot crying. My heart just broke. Nothing is worse than seeing your child suffer, except knowing she’s suffering and you are 300 miles away!
    Luckily, she just moved in with a friend over the weekend, so she no longer lives alone. Still, I worry. She’s 26 now and I was married when I was 26 and a mother at 27! But she’s still my baby. And my gut still clenches when she’s sad.
    Awww, The poor dog crying for your daughter!So pitiful! When will your daughter come home next? I know a number of colleges did away with spring break this semester. Makes for a LONG semester without a break!
    Have you seen any evidence outside from the scraping?

    I had an interesting conversation with my 94( she turns 95 next month)year old aunt who lives in Fl. She’s just finished chemo for the second time as her lymphoma came back. She got together with lots of extended family on Christmas Day and ate with them at Golden Coral( her favorite!). And she had eaten there again the evening before I spoke to her. She said she can’t understand why this virus has gotten worse! It wasn’t so bad before the election! Her words. Just makes me realize people will believe whatever they WANT to believe and nothing anyone says will change their minds!! It also doesn’t occur to her that her behavior contributes. You’d think someone her age with compromised immune system would stay home. She’s like my mom, no one’s going to tell HER what to do!

    I’m feeling all out of sorts too. I took some of my homemade cookie dough and baked one cookie to eat. If I’d baked more, I’d have EATEN more!! I have honey garlic chicken in the crock pot. New recipe. It better be good!
    I made tacos with Impossible Burger meat last night and my husband was so excited. He wants to do “Taco Tuesday” every Tuesday.

    I’m not letting myself look at the news any more today. I’ve kind of obsessed over it the last few days.

    Catherine, I hope you and Katrina are doing well.

    Gabi, my thoughts are with you! I know this is a very tough time for you! Please be gentle with yourself!
  • thelastnightingalethelastnightingale Member, Premium Posts: 474 Member Member, Premium Posts: 474 Member
    I suppose the older I get, the more stubborn and cantankerous I get, Barb - if I make it to my 90s (unlikely, based on family history), I'll probably be just as frustrating to deal with! You're right, people are making their own minds up and they're very hard to reason with. It all comes back down to trying not to let yourself get wound up by the things you can't change. You can't make anyone else dial back their risk, you can only influence your own behaviour.

    Taco Tuesday sounds like a great new tradition!

    I understand needing a break from the news. It's all a bit relentless at the moment, really. Same advice to you - please be gentle with yourself too. Obsessing over the news can do a number on your mental health, and when you let all the negative thoughts and worries spiral, that's when health behaviours go out the window.

    Good luck with the chicken recipe!
  • clutterqueenclutterqueen Member Posts: 674 Member Member Posts: 674 Member
    Catherine, you posted while I was typing!
    It sounds like you have a strategy for cutting down on work stress after work is done for the day! Even being aware and acknowledging the problem is a big step in the right direction.
    I’m come to conclude, there’s no magic off switch. It doesn’t matter if we are in maintenance, or have been for 5 years, when everything goes topsy turvy, it’s still going to be our MO to go to food for comfort. But if we can just limit it to a day, or even a week, depending how bad the situation is, we can still come out okay. We can still get back on track if we are gentle with ourselves and not berate ourselves. We need to treat ourselves like OTHERS treat us. They’d give us the break. Every time!
    Going Protein heavy sounds like a smart move!!
  • clutterqueenclutterqueen Member Posts: 674 Member Member Posts: 674 Member
    Exercise:✅
    Tracked: ✅
    Under: ✅
    2+veggies✅ ( I realized if I weren’t tracking this, I wouldn’t have gotten them in today. Wasn’t feeling too motivated. But then I remembered I had some fresh green beans, which I LOVE!)
  • clutterqueenclutterqueen Member Posts: 674 Member Member Posts: 674 Member
    Well I started the day off with veggies. I realized I had mushrooms and a red pepper I hadn’t used, plus an onion, so I made myself what would’ve been a veggie omelette if my omelette pan hadn’t been in storage. It ended up being just scrambled eggs( 1 egg + 2 egg whites) and veggies. Kept me full for HOURS! Didn’t even think about snacking.

    How’s everyone doing? Gabi, are you hanging in there? I’ve been pulling for you!

    Last night I dreamed I put on a ton of weight and was busting out of my clothes. I hadn’t weighed in a couple of weeks, felt a little bloated so got nervous. The scale was 126.25 so not much damage. I was SO nervous about stepping on. I did it about 3 times before I was satisfied it was accurate. It’s an old fashioned doctors’ balance scale, so it’s very accurate. I’ve had it for 25 years!

    Exercise:✅
    Tracked: ✅
    Under:✅
    2+veggies✅ Much easier when you start the day with veggies! When we went to Europe several years ago, most of the hotels we stayed at in Germany, Switzerland, Austria, France, Czech Republic, Netherlands had salad bars at breakfast time! I loved it. I took advantage and then could relax a little more with what I ate the rest of the day.)
  • GabiV125GabiV125 Member Posts: 1,128 Member Member Posts: 1,128 Member
    You are correct, Barb and Catherine, and kind and very, very nice. I took your advice and took it slow, outside of work obviously, had longer walks, found a soothing thing to watch and put my energy into not going over calories. Since it’s been almost a month since I made it under calories, it was all about distraction and relocation (away from the kitchen). Tomorrow is deep cleaning day and bill paying, yay.
    I don’t know if the cold contributed to this at all, but for 1 month now, my short coat dog took on furious barking for about 10 minutes straight after we exit the house. He’s like the bulls in bull riding videos, all that explosive energy, only with barking. He’s 25 lb, with a deep voice. It’s equally funny and embarrassing. Tonight we stopped and waited on the spot 10 seconds after every unprovoked burst .
    Any solutions or suggestions are welcome.
  • GabiV125GabiV125 Member Posts: 1,128 Member Member Posts: 1,128 Member
    That is a great idea Barb, to load on veggies early on. I’m not having breakfast because I’m never hungry in the morning, but half veggies, half eggs, sound delicious. I got to get back on the mostly veggies train.
    I know that dream. Is not a good one.
  • clutterqueenclutterqueen Member Posts: 674 Member Member Posts: 674 Member
    Oh Gabi I’m so happy to hear from you! So glad you are being patient with yourself. I’m encouraged that you are still posting. That means that even though you might be going over calories a bit, you are still in the game. It’s so easy to have those “what the heck!” Moments and just go crazy eating once you’ve gone over your calories. I’ve done that day after day after day, weeks on end in the not terribly distant past!😉
    Give yourself a little more time and you’ll be back at it, posting a loss!

  • thelastnightingalethelastnightingale Member, Premium Posts: 474 Member Member, Premium Posts: 474 Member
    Had a good start to the day, ate a lot of veggies and then... ate a lot of biscuits too. I'm cutting myself off after this box. No more in the weekly shop.

    After all, if I don't buy it, I can't eat it!

    Still, it means my shopping basket is getting healthier. When I first started doing a regular shop, it was pretty much all processed food. Now it's mostly ingredients (mostly veg!) which has got to be a positive change. Shows I'm cooking more, for one thing...

    I actually made scrambled eggs today too with onions, yellow peppers and veggie sausage. Great minds! If I have mushrooms, I often chuck them in too. Scrambled in my home means 'anything I can find' chucked in a pan. Sometimes it's just eggs, but more often than not, it's eggs and a random mix of veggies!

    Whenever I can remember what I was dreaming about, it's very easy to work out what was on my mind. In your case, I don't think there's much of an explanation needed either, Barb! Very clear what was niggling at you. You can't put on more than a few pounds a few days after your last weigh-in, even if you overeat like crazy, so you just need to remember to hop on the scales a bit more often to know that there's no way you've gone above a certain number and relax.

    Have just remembered - I need to make some cauliflower soup in the next few days (mainly to check whether I like it or not, as made by me). Fingers crossed! I could always do with sneaking another type of veg into my diet.

    As much as I hate deep cleaning, there's something very soothing about a freshly cleaned home. And a tidy home does help with a tidy mind... it might help you feel more in control. Here's to a productive day tomorrow, Gabi!
  • kcd394kcd394 Member Posts: 105 Member Member Posts: 105 Member
    Quick note to say I'm still here. Lots of stress monday and tuesday but Wednesday and Thursday were better. Found the energy and motivation to do some cleaning today etc. Had a post two days ago but mustve hit that done button instead of post again. Need to find more crockpot recipes but my crockpot isn't that fancy. Hope your chicken was good barb. We're looking for 5-10 ish acres to either hunt or hobby farm (goats) with. Found out why our financial guy is MIA... his brother was dying. Come to find out his brother was my receptionists stepdad so she's been out a week already too. Small world. He did have covid in November but not sure thats why he died. My other coworker is back from the trial last week where she testified against her abusive ex boyfriend (they have a son who's maybe 1.5 or 2) who raped and strangled her last year. She had gone to get some of her child's things and let him see his son because he was supposed to be going to jail the next day. Sadly somehow he managed to not get convicted of rape but only got the guilty verdict on strangulation. They let him out monday so we were all stressed about her safety and just sick and numb to the reality that a jury actually found him not guilty of rape. Anyway its way past my bedtime and i gotta go in extra early tomorrow so I'll try to update more this weekend. Still here but only really keeping sleep goals (til today, oops) lately.
  • GabiV125GabiV125 Member Posts: 1,128 Member Member Posts: 1,128 Member
    Katrina- oh my, you did have some stressful packed days!!!
    Poor lady! And poor child when he’ll understand what had happened between his parents!
    You and Barb are using the crockpot so often and all sounds really good. Every time I tried, I was disappointed with the results.
  • thelastnightingalethelastnightingale Member, Premium Posts: 474 Member Member, Premium Posts: 474 Member
    I'm really not impressed with January 2021 - I was hoping we'd all have a happier and healthier start to the year, but Katrina, you really are dealing with some heavy things. It's a lot to sit on anyone's shoulders and I'm sorry you're once again having to struggle through some hard times.

    Gabi - I think I like the idea of a crockpot more than the reality of one. I have some vouchers to use up though, so am eying some kitchen gadgets. Tempted by a George Foreman grill instead, but I'm not convinced I'll use that regularly enough to justify it.

    I've just spotted a dance class that runs throughout the year that I'd actually love to do (I've never said that about exercise, ever!) and I wonder if I've just had my lightbulb moment? The trouble is, in-person classes are obviously off indefinitely because of Covid and I don't have enough space in the flat. I wonder if I could get rid of the sofa...?

    I now have a proper 2021 goal. I need to make more space in the flat, and I need to get a large screen set up so I can stream videos/classes. Now I have a goal... need to find some willpower/motivation to make it happen.
  • clutterqueenclutterqueen Member Posts: 674 Member Member Posts: 674 Member
    Katrina, what a week you’ve had! As if worrying about having an unreliable perhaps relapsing coworker weren’t enough to worry about, now you have to worry about safety from a coworker’s ex who should be in jail!?!

    So you’re looking for some acreage to have a little farm!?! That would be very nice for you and Mat.

    I’m glad you’re really trying to make sleep a priority.

    So as for the crockpot, the last recipe my husband loved! Couldn’t wait to eat the leftovers the next day. I generally read a lot of the reviews before trying a new recipe. Most turn out very well. Just the one recipe was garbage. I love making barbecue chicken in the crockpot, super easy and super moist. Chili as well.

    Catherine, did you make the cauliflower soup? If so, how did it turn out? I have a George Forman grill that I mostly use to grill fish ( I just sprinkle Old Bay seasoning on the fish and drizzle lemon or lime juice on it and it’s delicious!) or grill vegetables ( with a little balsamic vinaigrette drizzled on them). I love the grilled veggies( strips of zucchini, squash, red peppers, onions and portobello mushrooms) with cheese or hummus on ciabatta bread or a nice roll. Used to make that quite often when my vegan daughter lived with us( hers was without real cheese).
    You said a George Forman, Catherine, but were you even talking about a grill?

    Catherine, if you can get things set up to do some zoom dance classes, I think that would be perfect for you! I have to confess, I’ve only done 1 live zoom fitness class. It was a weights class a friend I’ve known for years was teaching. She moved to FL years ago. I really only did it to see what she was up to, to see if she was able to bring her energy to a class when she was alone. Plus she’d invited me and I didn’t want to say No. But I begged off for future classes because they were in the afternoon and I work out in the morning. I love working out in the morning, but if I put it off until the afternoon, I don’t like it at all. I think it’s more that I get cranky when I don’t get my morning workout in!

    But there are so MANY free virtual classes to choose from. I have done a taped yoga class several times that my favorite gentle yoga instructor taped and put online.
    What kind of dance is it, Catherine?

    My husband is like a child, he gets so SAD when the Christmas tree has to come down. We have an artificial tree. So last year when I put away all the Christmas ornaments and lights, I put up pink lights and decorated the tree with Valentines ornaments. I did that again today. My husband was very pleased when he got home from work.

    Exercise:✅
    Tracked: ✅
    Under: ✅
    2+veggies❌ Not unless I count the tomato slices on my pizza as one of the veggies!
    I’ve decided to try for Sunday-Thursday to hit the 2+target and relax more on Fridays and Saturdays.
  • clutterqueenclutterqueen Member Posts: 674 Member Member Posts: 674 Member
    This morning’s jog was very chilly. Snowing the whole time!
    Otherwise a pretty lazy day.

    Exercise:✅
    Tracked:✅
    Under: ✅
    2+veggies ❌
  • GabiV125GabiV125 Member Posts: 1,128 Member Member Posts: 1,128 Member
    Catherine - an online dance class it’s an excellent idea- exercise without feeling like fitness, fun without audience and you get to improve your overall flexibility and mobility . The furniture issue you can figure it out after the first class.
    I went from what it felt like dancing all the time, to never dancing and than to just occasionally . Now I’m on pause, like many, but plan to wake up dancing one of these days.

    Barb- you have a Valentine Day Tree? How sweet is that! Of course your husband loved it .
    I like your green checks , keep on posting.

    Katrina 5-10 acres farm does sound like something worth the wait, until you find the right one. I imagine farms are bought for life, or for several generations - so you are truly building from the bottom. That is so exciting!

    Other than going for longer walks, I don’t think I have much to say. I got fairly cold and sat with a blanket over my legs for a while, and my cheeks and ears were burning , but I got to catch up with the messages, so all is good 😌
  • clutterqueenclutterqueen Member Posts: 674 Member Member Posts: 674 Member
    Was so relieved there wasn’t a bunch of violence yesterday around the country as was planned.

    Exercise: ✅
    Tracked:✅
    Under:✅
    2+veggies✅

    I ate so much at lunch I could only eat salad for dinner tonight! Oh well.
    I got my veggies in yesterday as well.
  • thelastnightingalethelastnightingale Member, Premium Posts: 474 Member Member, Premium Posts: 474 Member
    The Valentines tree sounds adorable, Barb. :)

    I was indeed talking about a George Forman grill - the size I'm interested in is out of stock, but I'm keeping an eye on the website. It's good to know it's come in handy and might not just get relegated to the back of a cupboard!

    Yesterday I was so tired I crashed out at 8pm. Of course, this meant I then was wide awake at 2am, but at least I got a solid 6 hours at some point! Still a bit tired, so this is going to be a very quick check-in.

    Finally made cauliflower soup (added a little potato for texture). I can't say I love it, but... it's palatable. I can taste why so many people like to drown that vegetable in cheese! Palatable for a vegetable I don't like is probably a decent victory.

    Gabi, it sounds like you're more flexible/mobile than me. Great job with all the walking.

    One more sleep until the inauguration - honestly, I don't think we've taken this much of an interest in another country's leader in such a long time. Hoping for a smooth transfer tomorrow and lots of positive things ahead.
  • GabiV125GabiV125 Member Posts: 1,128 Member Member Posts: 1,128 Member
    Good day today, with some weird and unprofessional work issue/drama dumped on me with no warning, and as I I felt my pulse racing, I DECIDED to not let it ruffle me today. Simple as that, and my strategy worked!!
    I asked “would this bother me in 2 years?” And the answer is no, it won’t bother me. It could embarrass someone else, it could be anecdotal, but I won’t lose any sleep then or as it turns out, now either.
    My second big win for today is that I managed to stay in green. Yay for Tuesday!
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