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Secret Eating vs. Willpower

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  • Diatonic12Diatonic12 Member Posts: 26,601 Member Member Posts: 26,601 Member
    Me? ;) I don't run on willpower, Muszyngr. I run on momentum which will take you much further than willpower or inspiration or motivation ever will.
  • janejellyrolljanejellyroll Member, Premium Posts: 25,241 Member Member, Premium Posts: 25,241 Member
    ReenieHJ wrote: »
    Willpower=mindset. And if you're cruising through a period in your life when it simply isn't there, then it's either going to take a random powerful event to change your thoughts, maybe some extra support, time, a rude awakening, something....

    I can go for weeks feeling strong, ready to back away from the cookies and look life in the eye but unfortunately then comes some weeks when I'm feeling/acting the exact opposite; I NEED that something to make me happy, take away my stress if even for a minute, somewhere to escape. That's when I hide/binge. :( DH's pack-a-lunch cookies have been disappearing quickly recently(@Diatonic, wish I could blame the mice) and I made a comment to dh about 'if I could just stop eating his cookies'. He said 'do it then'. I told him it wasn't that easy; his reply was 'it's easy for me'. So I suggested he stop his smoking; it'd be easy for me. :)

    I need to find my momentum again because it honestly does get easier once you're relit. For me anyways, until life takes a turn again. :/

    That's a good comeback though! :)

    It's always fascinating to me how differently will power can work with different things. My father smoked when he was young but quit in 1964 when the US government issued their first warnings about smoking and cancer. The way he tells the story is that he heard about the report on the radio, ground out the cigarette he was smoking, and never smoked again. But when it came to alcohol and food, he was unable to moderate himself -- even way past the point where doctors were telling him that it was a serious concern.

    We have bizarre, often unconscious ways of deciding what we think is worth the risk and what isn't.
  • kshama2001kshama2001 Member Posts: 23,743 Member Member Posts: 23,743 Member
    Or maybe it's your coping method for trauma (also maybe why you eat in secret, so you don't have to admit the trauma).
    durhammfp wrote: »
    I think that is very insightful. I was thinking that, paradoxically, maybe this is a way for a child to assert control in her life--making a decision about what food to eat and when, especially if it is counter to what the adults in the room approve.

    Although, there are probably as many reasons for secret eating as there are people who engage in it.

    Both "coping method for trauma" and "assert control" really resonate with me.

    While I am thinking of my own secret eating while reading this thread, when I think of others, it's their (not so) secret drinking that comes to mind.
    edited November 2020
  • AlexandraFindsHerself1971AlexandraFindsHerself1971 Member Posts: 1,919 Member Member Posts: 1,919 Member
    What I've discovered about myself is that secret eating tends to pop up when I am not okay with my weight loss calorie limits.
    Tonight, I'm real good. I'll go to bed after I post this, right on time. I've had everything I was supposed to today, I'm fine. But I'm okay with where I'm at.

    When I am anxious about it and feel despondent about the long haul of losing 100+ pounds, that's when the staying up late and reading and eating happens.
  • ninerbuffninerbuff Member, Greeter Posts: 44,775 Member Member, Greeter Posts: 44,775 Member
    Hmmmm. I don't know about either, but I've always been hyper. Even up to now, I don't sit still well for long periods of time. And as a kid I was super hyper. I ate anything I wanted and was still skinny. I went to the candy store everyday after school since it was on the way home. And McDonald's was at least once a week. And even up to now I eat whatever I want, BUT I limit it so much more than in my 20's.
    I never ate in secret and I don't have much lack of discipline when I apply it. But then again, I never looked at food as comfort.

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  • Theo166Theo166 Member, Premium Posts: 2,495 Member Member, Premium Posts: 2,495 Member
    For me, the cure to secret eating is logging it. Now the share size bag of peanut M&M's has lasted several days rather than disappearing in one go.

    Disciplined logging has improved my willpower by not allowing me to mentally dismiss/ignore unhealthy habits. I still do it, but it's less frequent and to a smaller extent.
    edited January 26
  • Speakeasy76Speakeasy76 Member Posts: 456 Member Member Posts: 456 Member
    ReenieHJ wrote: »
    Willpower=mindset. And if you're cruising through a period in your life when it simply isn't there, then it's either going to take a random powerful event to change your thoughts, maybe some extra support, time, a rude awakening, something....

    I can go for weeks feeling strong, ready to back away from the cookies and look life in the eye but unfortunately then comes some weeks when I'm feeling/acting the exact opposite; I NEED that something to make me happy, take away my stress if even for a minute, somewhere to escape. That's when I hide/binge. :( DH's pack-a-lunch cookies have been disappearing quickly recently(@Diatonic, wish I could blame the mice) and I made a comment to dh about 'if I could just stop eating his cookies'. He said 'do it then'. I told him it wasn't that easy; his reply was 'it's easy for me'. So I suggested he stop his smoking; it'd be easy for me. :)

    I need to find my momentum again because it honestly does get easier once you're relit. For me anyways, until life takes a turn again. :/

    That's a good comeback though! :)

    It's always fascinating to me how differently will power can work with different things. My father smoked when he was young but quit in 1964 when the US government issued their first warnings about smoking and cancer. The way he tells the story is that he heard about the report on the radio, ground out the cigarette he was smoking, and never smoked again. But when it came to alcohol and food, he was unable to moderate himself -- even way past the point where doctors were telling him that it was a serious concern.

    We have bizarre, often unconscious ways of deciding what we think is worth the risk and what isn't.

    Not really on the original topic, but my grandfather did the same when my oldest brother told him he watched a film in school about how cigarettes were bad for you and wanted to quit, and he decided to quit cold turkey after 40+ years of smoking. My grandma would tell me how miserable he was in the beginning, but he wanted to stick to it. Unfortunately, it was too late--he developed emphysema and the lung cancer maybe 5 years later. He was always thin, though, despite never having to worry about his weight (but I guess not overeat) and hardly drank, even though he'd had some serious trauma in his life. He really was my hero. Unfortunately, I don't think I inherited his "willpower" OR metabolism (for sure on that last one ).
    edited January 29
  • Speakeasy76Speakeasy76 Member Posts: 456 Member Member Posts: 456 Member
    I developed eating in secret when I went on my first extreme diet at age 14. I got to a point where I wasn't eating breakfast or lunch, eating only 500 calories a day (despite being thin by that point in my "diet"). Of course I couldn't sustain so ended up binging in secret, which I tried to outdo by drinking warm water (my health teacher--who ironically was overweight--had told us that that was a laxative). I became so ashamed that I was putting back on the weight I had put on, and set up this mentality/secret eating BECAUSE I was ashamed. I do it every now and again now (Not very often), but if I know I have to log it I usually won't.

    I know I've often read that weight loss really shouldn't be about "willpower," and I tend to believe it. When I try to apply "willpower" is when it tends to lead to more of that secret eating or bingeing.
  • Cheery83Cheery83 Member Posts: 92 Member Member Posts: 92 Member
    Secret eating for me tend to come if I diet to hard.
    As long as I eat balanced and make room for weekend chocolate. I find I am much less likely.

    To suddenly binge on all the things in the pantry.
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