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"Unrealistic" body goals

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  • chantellezxcchantellezxc Member Posts: 55 Member Member Posts: 55 Member
    I’m so confused, what it’s impossible for women to have flat stomachs without being underweight without periods? Overweight women are more likely to have flatter stomachs than overweight men though, like women gain weight normally more evenly over their bodies, I would say.
    edited February 9
  • Speakeasy76Speakeasy76 Member Posts: 352 Member Member Posts: 352 Member
    In my 55 years, my personal views on unrealistic vs impossible have evolved. When I was 15, my new hips and boobs made me feel fat. At 5’3” and 110lbs, I was definitely in the short and curvy department. I was filled with raging self-loathing. I covered my bedroom mirror with magazine models in bikinis and tried as hard as I could to make myself anorexic. The summer I was 16 I survived on nothing but black coffee and pickles — got down to 94lbs but for some crazy reason I didn’t look like those models...??!! Impossible to be 5’10” with slim hips when you’re just not built that way, but I just couldn’t see that! This continued through college and my weight bounced up and down between 100-150 and throughout that time I felt fat and hated myself. Weight kept going up as I got older, emotional overeating became a crutch for all of life’s stresses. Fast forward to middle age, after two babies...FINALLY somewhere in my mid-40s (after a million failed diets, many gym hours and personal trainers, and therapy), my brain and body stopped battling for that impossible goal. I’m still working on the emotional overeating part, but my self-image isn’t tangled up with my self-worth anymore. My goals are to be fit and strong as I age AND to look good in my clothes AND to continue losing weight (25lbs to go) and it feels so good to feel myself getting there, slowly but surely. At my age, I will never look great in a bikini and that’s ok. It’s realistic. But I will be the hottest old lady on the beach 😆

    Your story sounds a lot like mine :) . I so wish I had the knowledge about healthy eating and getting STRONGER (not necessarily "skinny") in my teens and early 20's. I actually want to be able to do something to teach young girls and women to feel this way about themselves so they don't have to go through all the self-loathing I did.
  • elmusho1989elmusho1989 Member Posts: 287 Member Member Posts: 287 Member
    I just want my body pre 25 when it decided I couldn't eat as much as I wanted anymore without suffering the consequences. No celebrity body goals for me. I'm just aiming for 130 at 5 foot 3. I'm only 32. This should be no problem to me.

    Sometimes it's hard but I think the key is to know sometimes you won't hit your target and that's OK. We are all only human. Just try again and we'll get there.
  • FitAgainBy55FitAgainBy55 Member Posts: 132 Member Member Posts: 132 Member
    I've always felt that striving for a stretch goal and possibly coming up a little short is better than self limiting to some mediocre, easily achievable goal. I know everyone is different but I personally don't limit myself by my age and I believe that I can get back very close to my profile picture from 6 years ago at age 55. I never had a six pack in my 20s and 30s but "accidentally" achieved that goal in my mid 40s. I had no reason to believe that I could achieve something in my 40s that I had failed to achieve in my 20s and 30s but I managed to achieve it anyway. I was never willing to accept that I was limited by age ... no reason to start now. Will I be successful ? I truly believe that I will. What if I come up a little short ? That's fine too, I'll be better off than where I started at the end of last year.
  • AndreaTamiraAndreaTamira Member, Premium Posts: 255 Member Member, Premium Posts: 255 Member
    I've always felt that striving for a stretch goal and possibly coming up a little short is better than self limiting to some mediocre, easily achievable goal. I know everyone is different but I personally don't limit myself by my age and I believe that I can get back very close to my profile picture from 6 years ago at age 55. I never had a six pack in my 20s and 30s but "accidentally" achieved that goal in my mid 40s. I had no reason to believe that I could achieve something in my 40s that I had failed to achieve in my 20s and 30s but I managed to achieve it anyway. I was never willing to accept that I was limited by age ... no reason to start now. Will I be successful ? I truly believe that I will. What if I come up a little short ? That's fine too, I'll be better off than where I started at the end of last year.

    In contrast I believe in striving for a closer goal that you feel relatively sure you can achieve and then reevaluating if you want to set a new goal. - I don't like falling short of my goals. It is one of the few things that truly can leave me deflated and too frustrated to easily pick myself up again. So, one step I know I can manage, then the thought "I did nanagd this as planned. Maybe I can go further".

    In the end both our strategies may lead to achieving just as much. But yours would probably not work for me and vice versa.
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