What can you not let go of?
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Pretty much everything I've ever done wrong in my life. Other than that I'm fiiiiine.3
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For me it was when I went to a small party in the house of a boy I had a crush on. He asked me to dance and his friends started teasing him because I was taller, so he took off his shoes and they all laughed as he shoved stuff in his shoes to make him taller.
I can still feel that feeling and see that basement.5 -
_MovesLikeJabba_ wrote: »My family's negative views about my weight since I was a child. These words have engrained themselves into me and I let them still hurt my self-esteem decades later.
- My dad worked out of the country for many months at a time. One year when I was in high school, he came back and the first thing the said was "God, you got fat".
- My mom was big when she was young and I blamed many fat-assery on my genetics once, bringing up that she was overweight as a teen. Her response? "I was never as fat as you are".
- My paternal grandpa making comments about my weight at the dinner table in front of guests, and when I cried he said "you should be ashamed of yourself."
You realize how toxic that was, right? I hope you've risen above all those comments as an adult and accept yourself for the wonderful human being that you are. I've had many a negative thing said to me about my size, mostly from strangers, but it still doesn't take the sting out of the words. But I cannot imagine relatives saying those things.
People who are supposed to have your back and be a safe place to land. Damn'em. And something like that does tend to loop in a person's mind.
{{HUGS}}4 -
Mr_Healthy_Habits wrote: »Motorsheen wrote: »
I knew it was just meee!! 😭
Aw naw. I’ve tried to leave a thousand times. There really isn’t anything here for me anymore. I don’t diet. I’m not on a weight loss “journey.” If anything, that stuff is detrimental to my mental and physical health. Most of the people I got close with here now communicate with me in other ways. I guess I’m just an addict.3 -
twitchandshout wrote: »Mr_Healthy_Habits wrote: »Motorsheen wrote: »
I knew it was just meee!! 😭
Aw naw. I’ve tried to leave a thousand times. There really isn’t anything here for me anymore. I don’t diet. I’m not on a weight loss “journey.” If anything, that stuff is detrimental to my mental and physical health. Most of the people I got close with here now communicate with me in other ways. I guess I’m just an addict.
You won't leave if you know what's good for you. Addictions can be a good thing. Think about this...if you left, found some other addiction, it could be wayyyy better worse than this one.2 -
My login streak. Lol. I would be so mad if I lost it.0
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My mfp ex wives1
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Yoshiboobs wrote: »Old purses. I always just stuff the old one away like I’m going to use it ever again or actually clean it out. 😅
I’m actually doing something new atm where I’ve bought the new purse but it’s the one hanging out in my closet while I stroll around with my worn out purse.
Yeah this is me too. Although I do clean them out before I put them away. There is also a little queue of new purses-in-waiting that I'm going to use... some day...1 -
Non-physical:
- My mother constantly mentioning and/or comparing my weight when I was younger. She never let me forget that I was an overweight fatass with dreams to aspire to nothing. Not only was my fatness up for ridicule, but so was my desire to be an artist or craftsperson instead of some lofty ideal of being a doctor or a lawyer.
- I was always ridiculed for my fatness, even as a child. Constantly teased, sometimes tortured by boys in my class (having eggs thrown at my head, bubblegum and glue stuck in my hair to the point it had to be cut off and then being blamed for it by my hypercritical mother). I've never gotten over the feelings of worthlessness and otherness that I experienced then.
- When I was in college, a person I dated decided to break up with me in regards to his sister. She and I were friends, but I was concerned about her and let it be known to non-trustworthy people that she worked with that I was concerned (I thought these people were friends of mine... I was wrong). He decided to come to my place, dump all my stuff at the door and proceed to tell me that "no matter how much he showered, he would never be clean again". Keep in mind, we had never had sex, never been more physical than a kiss. He chose the words of strangers over a person he was dating because his sister was involved. He chose the words of people I told him I was having issues with and had already been maligned by at the beginning of our relationship. He then proceeded to brood, sulk and otherwise be petulant any time he saw me on campus or in town at his various jobs, even while I was minding my own business. I've never climbed out of the hole of believing I was any better than scum because of what and how he said it.
- I was called a "fair-weather" friend (or just a *kitten* friend) by a person I had been close to for more than a decade. He cut off all contact with me after screaming at me about it, failing to realize that out of the two of us, I was the one to drive hundreds of miles to pick him up for our mutual friends' wedding. I was the one to drive with a debilitating ear infection to come get him. I was the one to fly out and clean up his apartment when he was too depressed to do it himself and I was the one that was always busting my back and picking up after him despite having my own family and own needs that were not being met or attended to. I miss our friendship, but I'm still mad at him for his selfish *kitten*. And the terrible thing is that he will never know what a selfish-prick he is because people like that rarely do.
- Another person I confided in a few years ago, after telling him stories of my college days and somewhat promiscuous nature referred to me as "the village bicycle" as though I just let all these people use me. Keep in mind that this particular individual had probably slept with more than 100 women in his lifetime, my number (not that it matters), is significantly less. I just resent someone thinking that because I choose to be sexually intimate with someone, that must automatically mean I was used by them.. or that I just slept around and had one-night stands. They were meaningful relationships, albeit it short in the long term. I enjoyed my time (with most of them, anyway). It just has contributed to that overall feeling of how people in my world perceive me. Something of little value they can just throw away when it annoys them. Such has been my life and still is with friendships. I have no meaningful friendships with people anymore. Just a long list of acquaintances.
Physical:- I have a stuffed animal (collie) that my dad and I spent a long *kitten* time trying to win back when Fun Factory still existed. We spent SO much time on the bowling game and ski-ball machines getting the tickets up for that dumb thing. I've had him since 4th grade or so and while he's in my son's care (so Laddie doesn't get lonely), he's still very much mine.
- Sailor Moon art books. They're Japanese exclusive, so have never been translated and are pretty hard to find. I only have two, because each book costs 60 - 200 bucks. I managed to find two in 2011 and have held onto them ever since along with a select few other art books.
- A small glass and brass jewelry box. My (deceased) grandfather and grandmother brought it back from one of their trips to Mexico (my grandfather immigrated from Mexico in the 50s and had many relatives who were craftspeople across the border). He would routinely bring back handmade leather goods, jewelry, etc. One such item was this small glass jewelry box with glass etched flowers in it.
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@Kosmoskitten Unbelievable how some people can be. People you thought were friends, telling your innermost secrets to, confiding in them. Then it all comes back to bite you. I'm sorry @rap like that has happened to you. Thankfully there are good people out there. It's especially a sad thing when family is like that. Just a few words can rip your heart out and steal any chance of a healthy self-esteem away. I hate it when people don't think how their words can affect others; a parent and child should be one of the most loving and trusted relationships on earth but sadly it's not. Even a seemingly innocent comment can be turned around in a child's mind but when a parent comes right out and degrades a child.........So sad and life-altering.
If your mother is still treating you like that, I hope you're standing up for yourself. Some people remain toxic their whole life; they'll never change. But you certainly don't have to continue to listen.
((HUGS))1 -
Bucket hats... 😄0
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Taco soup...make it so many times.1
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@Kosmoskitten Unbelievable how some people can be. People you thought were friends, telling your innermost secrets to, confiding in them. Then it all comes back to bite you. I'm sorry @rap like that has happened to you. Thankfully there are good people out there. It's especially a sad thing when family is like that. Just a few words can rip your heart out and steal any chance of a healthy self-esteem away. I hate it when people don't think how their words can affect others; a parent and child should be one of the most loving and trusted relationships on earth but sadly it's not. Even a seemingly innocent comment can be turned around in a child's mind but when a parent comes right out and degrades a child.........So sad and life-altering.
If your mother is still treating you like that, I hope you're standing up for yourself. Some people remain toxic their whole life; they'll never change. But you certainly don't have to continue to listen.
((HUGS))
I go out of my way to talk to her as little as possible or spend as little time in her presence as possible. She's mellowed out a lot in some ways, but not in others. I'll love her because she's my mom, but I'm cautious enough to limit my exposure around her and some other family members for numerous reasons.
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Clearance rack underwear at Ross 💁♀️0
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chuckle_bunny wrote: »Clearance rack underwear at Ross 💁♀️
I tried this...the cut was slightly off😂front wedgie all day1 -
Some dudes are into that 😅PlentyofProtein00 wrote: »chuckle_bunny wrote: »Clearance rack underwear at Ross 💁♀️
I tried this...the cut was slightly off😂front wedgie all day1 -
twitchandshout wrote: »Mr_Healthy_Habits wrote: »Motorsheen wrote: »
I knew it was just meee!! 😭
Aw naw. I’ve tried to leave a thousand times. There really isn’t anything here for me anymore. I don’t diet. I’m not on a weight loss “journey.” If anything, that stuff is detrimental to my mental and physical health. Most of the people I got close with here now communicate with me in other ways. I guess I’m just an addict.
These days I more so just come in here when for some unknown reason I'm compelled to do so... Or to promote my podcast 🤷🏽♂️...
This place will always be a part of me, there are just waves that have already been absorbed by my brain that will never leave I suppose 🤷🏽♂️...2 -
All mfp crushes 😍3
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Apparently, I had a hard time getting rid of the phone number I've had for 25 years, and then, when I found out the bill would be cheaper keeping the phone (even tho I don't talk to anyone), I kept the number.
25 YEARS!!!!!!2
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