WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR SEPTEMBER 2021

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  • bananasandoranges
    bananasandoranges Posts: 2,307 Member
    Katie and Lisa congrats also on the SV!
  • skuehn48
    skuehn48 Posts: 1,834 Member
    <3
  • bananasandoranges
    bananasandoranges Posts: 2,307 Member
    This is I guess a a 1st world problem, one could say. I don't know if that expression is accurate but anyway.

    CLEANING GUY CAME OVER 3RD TIME. NOT GREAT.
    I have a really hard time getting to all since I've been 50 or so, so it's better if I hire cleaner say 1.5 hours every 2 weeks. I really need help ever since in this writing project and also lockdowns/semi-lockdowns. I

    I go through a well-known service.
    I guess the pay is not very good relative to conditions and cost of living. it doesn't seem very low - it's declared with health care etc, I believe and not below the going rates I think - but it's not a glorious job. and most of all life is expensive here. I have tried more expensive services and it was no better. the expensive one said they had only highly trained cleaners but it was very clearly not the case.

    I often seem to get weird people. Maybeunweird people don't need to go through company and quickly find their own following cutting out the middle man. I don't know. They do seem to have a slew of people who have only been working for them for a few months, or a month...

    This guy seemed okay. they said he had been with him for a few months. A bit weird but okay enough. I was not dying to have a guy but I read that there is discrimination against men cleaners so I figured I should be open.

    1st time I gave him sheets to change and he didn't remove the mattress cover nor sheets and put on 2 sheets, 2 mattress covers and comforter cover on inside out (less of an issue).I have never seen anyone not remove sheet when putting on other one! I found out after he left.

    He also had washed the kitchen scale with a battery inside like a dish- immersing it in water and leaving soaked. fortunately it survived for now.

    2nd time I patiently showed him and asked for just one sheet one mattress cover... this time when I looked at silverware drawer he had just thrown all the silverware in - not spoons with spoons and so on but - a big mish mash pile of silverware hobnob on top of all the areas.

    something similar with pans- some big mess and seeming confusion about how to put pans in a cabinet. and there was some mix up like he put maybe pans with dishes or dishes with pans- like really not logical - way - as if he had never put away dishes before. He said he didn't know how to do it. (like put pans inside one another or pile them ontop of one another. That seemed confusing for him.
    But okay. The 2nd time- I can't remember well but I felt happy to have him not stay very long - but I chalked it up to needing time to get used to one another- that can happen!

    But today he was weirder. When he arrived I said a normal greeting "how are you", and he said, something like, "we're gonna say okay". fair enough- I understand he's not doing great but is not going to go into it to be professional.

    the 1st or 2nd time he had spoken about how little he makes monthly- that he used to be- a math tutor he said- but switched to cleaning with the pandemic. that he made more as cleaner. and he must have spoken about fatigue or physical issues.i could sympathise but I guess I felt a bit awkward. I'm sure it is true. it is rough. a rough situation. he had stayed sometime and gone on at length maybe the 1st time. I was not really keen on encouraging him to share again at length.

    He arrived just a hair late this 3rd time, and called from downstairs and said he forgot the code, and was then telling me and showing me how he got the autograph of these very strange twins who had extreme plastic surgery- for himself and his twin brother- freak celebrity twins that he had run into by chance. Then he went into the bathroom to change into his cleaning clothes as he does, but this times -, - didn't totally close the door.so I could see his legs as he was changing his jeans. as he was talking - he didn't seem extremely creepy, just too informal. So-so. Not horrible but not quite ideal. I didn't feel freaked, but an excess of informality can be a not ideal sign, especially early on. if he were a woman I wouldn't - care but he's not. And to think about it going in that direction seems not ideal at all.

    then he called his brother to tell about the autograph. So starting 10 or 15 minutes late. no big deal to arrive a hair late but to then call brother right away -I was not thrilled but okay, not a huge deal. try to be a bit easy going.

    Then I found the smell of soap a bit strange, not usual. I sat by the kitchen (what was he using?) so I could catch a glimpse. as soon as I sat nearby, he left the kitehen suddenly. Done. Then I heard endless spraying in bathroom. He put anti-scaling product (against calcium deposits) EVERYWHERE all over bathtub on walls all over sink all over toilet inside outside toilet, on stainless steal faucets that are not old. It made no sense. And intensely abundant quantities. There is a little bit of calcium deposit maybe right near the edge of drains perhaps. but not everywhere. not at all. it seemed like he used about half a bottle. Then he didn't want to use soap. so it wasn't really clean - it was a bit sticky with only the anti-calcium deposit stuff - on the toilet seat, etc.. I asked him if he could then clean them with soap (I have many products and am happy to buy other products if he has a preference).

    He said the anti scaling product disinfects. not sure about that! My impression was that he was maybe tired maybe with a bad back or something and didn't want to scrub or bend or maybe couldn't - so picked a spray.

    since it makes suds it can give impression of cleaning I guess. he didn't scrub at all, and was very angry when I asked him to then use soap. He started yelling and complaining. He said he gets itchy arms when he comes from my home - that his brother is a vet and told him - that I could guess - he kept saying. I could not. and that I have fleas. (They must be very selective fleas! because I don't get flea bites living and sleeping here, whereas he somehow gets them from cleaning the kitchen and bathroom and changing sheets. but I know fleas. we used to get them when we had cats. you can see them. they are black tiny and jump. maybe there are other kinds of fleas, but why would they only bite him and never me?)

    and he was complaining because one of my faucets closes a bit badly. and kept repeating himself, because there is a very faint occasional drip if one doesn't push to close the faucet he kept saying that I must have to pay 60 euros a month in extra water with the very tiny occasionally poorly closing faucet. and then he said that I don't sweep for weeks. (im sure I swept yesterday or the day before) there re only 2 main rooms. and on and on. and repeating himself in circles and criticising me.

    then he kept saying he was going to charge me for his sponge and cleanring rag, but I had bought new 5 sponges and showed him and hve many cleaning rags;
    then he said he was going to complain to his company because he said I was going to complain and grade him badly (I don't usually think about that and am not keen on grading - find it annoying I actually didn't know they had grading.) So he said he was going to call his company to complain about me first. AT one point I recorded someone but not extremely discretely, as he was going on and on and on and it was too much. Here you can not use unauthorised recording in any way, so it was more for myself.
    So he called the company or pretended to call, and complain, leaving a message. Then he kept saying you are going to give me. bad grade - I'm going to tell them -you re going to lie to them he said.

    So then I also called the company while he was there so he could hear me.

    They very rightly said, he either needs to clean normally or if there is a bad relation then he needs to stop and leave. I realised they were right. he had said he was going to stay 2h. and charge me 1h45 as a "gift", but it had already been an hour, half of it at least with him complaining and being really unpleasant. I listened to the recording after and I was speaking really calmly and politely and patiently and he was really unpleasant and unacceptable in his way of speaking. I was glad for the reality check of the recording.

    The toilet was sticky the tiny (about 4 sq meters each) kitchen and bathroom floors supposedly cleaned didn't seem clean at all and seemed sticky. the sink where he had started, which is not big - (sort of ground zero in cleaning in my mind) was not even basically cleaned. It still needed a quick scrub.

    That he is not a great cleaner is not a huge deal. I was okay with even showing him how to do better and being patient. But yelling - and even the changing with door open - is not a good path! -im not a priss at all on that level, and have have done much camping swimming in huge groups etc, where changing near another; is not a horrible thing, but this is my home - such familiarity would be likely to increase...he was too familiar too quickly and it' is true that it's worse with a guy to have unwelcome level of unfamiliarity.

    but mostly it's the long yelling, complaining, criticising . listening to the recording was such an eye opener.

    Just gives me a bad feeling and I feel bad for him - his situation - and for the situation in general. me and my colleagues really struggle financially - to make ends meet and for him it's even worse no doubt- which very likely contributes to his unpleasantness - he is probably in dire straights - more or less- and is probably unable to find a better way - because he is not young - is tired - is a bit "off" - without being probably horrible, notwithstanding his unpleasantness today.
  • Peach1948
    Peach1948 Posts: 2,473 Member
    Julie ~ That cleaner sounds like a nut case! Evidently, he has no idea how to clean properly. I think I'd rather let my house be dirty than have someone like that inside.

    Carol in GA
  • Vickil57
    Vickil57 Posts: 1,310 Member
    Julie--I remember wearing some makeup when I was a teenager. But seemed like to much trouble and always made my face feel funny. So for the last 50 years I have not worn makeup. I have tried just lipstick a couple times but never looked right. I did color my hair for years as starting going grey in my 20's. Now it depends on my mood, I will let it grow out and be almost all white and then one day just decide to color it and who knows what color I pick out, never the same twice in a row.

    Rori--Glad to see you post and that you are doing things and making new friends.

    Allie--Glad to hear you got your first SS check. One less thing to worry about.

    Sue WA--So sorry for your loss. Sending lots of hugs and prayers.

    Michele-I know this is not easy for you, not being on the go. Please take it slow so you can heal.

    Up to page 51 but about time to go to the eye doctor and finish my exam. She does it in 2 appointments a day apart. Been a crazy day at work and DH is still home ill. He did go back to doctor today and they did more blood work to check his heart as he woke up again in the night with chest pressure. Then we almost went on lock down as someone at the other hospital in town had a gun and he ran out and they were not sure where he went.
    Some days are more exciting than others.

    Blessings, Vicki GRAND ISLAND NE <3
  • teklawa1
    teklawa1 Posts: 284 Member
    (((Sue)))

    Betsy in NW WA
  • kizanne2
    kizanne2 Posts: 122 Member
    * hugs * Sue. losing a parent is so hard.

    Lisa great job cutting out the sugar and congradulations on the weight loss.
  • grandmallie
    grandmallie Posts: 7,494 Member
    Lisa- so nice to hear from you and glad your working through things...
    Im in my pajamas and in bed watching TV..
  • pipcd34
    pipcd34 Posts: 13,235 Member
    fsat90etaz02.jpg
    Yogi got a new collar
  • drkatiebug
    drkatiebug Posts: 1,749 Member
    edited September 2021
    kizanne2 wrote: »
    Have you tried the Crio Bru for the cocoa? I get the Mayan blend and really like it.

    Have they said 'how' they are rebooting the metabolism? By what mechanism?

    Kiz
    North Florida
    I have not tried the Crio Bru. I use Ancient Nutrition Ancient Superfood Cocoa. I will look into it after I finish this tub. Winter is coming!

    Answer to second question. I put it in a spoiler since some will not be interested.
    They haven't said specifically how they are rebooting the metabolism, but it is based on hormones. We had to fill out a medical history. They are very interested in things like our age and our menstrual stage in life, the amount of exercise we do, the number of times we have yo-yoed up and down with our weight, which messes with metabolism, things like that. We just got a new lesson today, our second of many. This one is called "How to be a Metabolism Detective." It's based on learning to self-evaluate your Hunger, Energy, and Cravings. If, for example, you are exercising a lot and not eating enough, the exercise creates excess amounts of certain hormones which then produces cravings which result in binging and/or not being able to stick to your plan. We are supposed to rate our hunger, energy and cravings each day and we will learn to adjust our eating accordingly. For example, if you are an exerciser (defined as weight lifting type stuff 3 or more days a week for 30 or more minutes), they have you eating more carbs. They are going to teach us how to read our bodies to know when things like hormones and blood sugar are causing low energy and/or cravings so that we can address it with the right foods. We also have to evaluate our sleep habits and our pain levels, the latter to determine if we are reducing inflammation with our eating plan. If we aren't getting the results we need, then we have to ask for a "hot seat" in the zoom class and they will coach us through figuring out why. We have to measure our breasts, waist and hips every week and other things like arms, chest, thighs once a month to determine if we are losing inches since the purpose of eating tons of protein and less carbs is to build muscle while burning fat.

    Sue, hugs and prayers for you. I'm so sorry for the loss of your mother.

    Barbara, I may have been known to be a little prissy without the r, too.

    My father's dementia is starting to rear its ugly head more and more often. The home health care nurse called his GP and we are going back to see him on Tuesday. He hasn't taken me seriously enough when I have mentioned it every single time I've seen him since March or so. I know there's not much you can do, but still. I and my non-medical doctor self think he gets worse when it is rainy and cloudy. My sister (also not a doctor) has suggested we slip some Vitamin D in with his morning meds. I've bought him a bottle along with a bottle of ashwagandha gummies for my mother to see if it will help her anxiety for dealing with him 24-7.

    Bananas, I would not only fire that house cleaner, but I would fire the whole service. Maybe it's different in France, but here the cleaner supplies the products. Mine keeps different products for different homes, depending on the owners preference. As for putting away the silverware and things like that, I don't have my cleaner do those things. I do the daily maintenance stuff myself (dishes, trash, putting away the clutter, etc). I expect the cleaner to do floors, dust, scrub showers, toilets and mirrors. I don't have mine change the sheets because we do it more often than every two weeks, but I would if I wasn't physically able to do them myself. I certainly would not expect them to put clean ones on top of dirty ones. That is stupid. Nobody in their right mind would do that and certainly no legitimate house cleaner.
  • GodMomKim
    GodMomKim Posts: 2,871 Member
    B)
  • grandmallie
    grandmallie Posts: 7,494 Member
    Kay- sundowners is rough with dementia much worse in the evenings.. my suggestion would be to contact someone like what we have here in Connecticut, its called Connecticut community care for the elderly and they come and do an assessment, and there is just so many options to help your mom and your family out ,im sure your state has something similar...
    Well my daughter has booked her C section she will be having my grandson on January 7th,thats the day her Dr is on call..her surgery is at 9:30 ,but she has to be there 2 hours earlier.. which means grandma has to be over at the house to get Tal to school and im sure with Covid we will not be aloud at the hospital, so will take it a day at a time from there..
  • exermom
    exermom Posts: 5,373 Member
    Went to SC and got some paint. Only I knew they’d changed the name of the color and I got the wrong color. So, I guess another road trip is in my future….lol

    Lisa – I took the second dose of the prednisone today. To be honest, the hip feels about 50% better. Still not perfect, but not in excruciating pain any more. I remember being on prednisone many years ago for what the MD said was a food allergy. I kept telling her it was a heat rash. I went on it for a few days, then we went camping to a much cooler climate, and it disappeared. So I stopped taking the prednisone. Fortunately, I hadn’t taken too much. But I’m still not exercising. I’m thinking that Monday I’ll do a body pump DVD but really only the upper body stuff. I really want to keep in my sort-of routine. Depending on how I feel, I may go for my walk afterwards. That’ll be the last day I take the prednisone so I should be pretty well back to normal. So glad to see you. Those silver linings are wonderful. I do like my tea, tho. I usually don’t have sugar in it.

    Just finished washing my car. I didn’t wax it since that involves a lot of bending and I didn’t vacuum or clean the inside windows. But at least the surface dirt is off

    Bone Density Test and boob squeeze tomorrow

    I’m beginning to think this prednisone is decreasing my appetite. I’ve prelogged some food but I have no hunger at all. That’s one side effect I can live with!

    Michele NC
  • Anniesquats100
    Anniesquats100 Posts: 971 Member
    Michele hope the Prednisone works and you are back to your DVDs in no time!

    Lisa is the surgery exploratory? I hope they come up with some diagnosis! This has gone on way too long.

    I just did my dumbbells. I am purposely resting less and sweating more. Someday I will get back to real aerobic exercise, but maybe not until the pandemic calms down and I can go back to the gym.

    Annie in Delaware
  • Whidislander
    Whidislander Posts: 1,573 Member
    Barbara, the Southern Oregon Coastie AHMOD, no haven't been to the doctor regarding vertigo. It subsided, so it kind of comes and goes. I need to make an appointment regarding my abdominal pain though. Last night another rough night. I think it's heartburn, so I take 2 Tums, then as the night progressed I'm thinking upset tummy, so I take 2 Pepto Bismol, then after a hot bath I think gas so I take one Gas X. I was finally able to sleep at about 3 or 4 am. Something has definitely changed. The fact that it passes, and today, I am just sore, has me stumped. I will make an appointment tomorrow, I promise.
    Rebecca
    Whidbey
    Washington
  • barbiecat
    barbiecat Posts: 15,167 Member
    <3
  • Snowflake1968
    Snowflake1968 Posts: 5,675 Member
    Barbara, the Southern Oregon Coastie AHMOD, no haven't been to the doctor regarding vertigo. It subsided, so it kind of comes and goes. I need to make an appointment regarding my abdominal pain though. Last night another rough night. I think it's heartburn, so I take 2 Tums, then as the night progressed I'm thinking upset tummy, so I take 2 Pepto Bismol, then after a hot bath I think gas so I take one Gas X. I was finally able to sleep at about 3 or 4 am. Something has definitely changed. The fact that it passes, and today, I am just sore, has me stumped. I will make an appointment tomorrow, I promise.
    Rebecca
    Whidbey
    Washington

    Your night sounds the same as my husbands for a year and a half. I finally bought Align for him to try and he hasn’t had a bout since. It’s been since February now I guess.

    Tracey
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 20,220 Member
    Peach1948 wrote: »
    Machka ~ How did you burn your foot so badly? That sounds awful.

    Carol in Georgia

    My apartment building had turned off the hot water because of some issue with the tank(s). The first few days were OK, but it was getting to the point where I really wanted to clean up so I decided to boil some water and put it in the tub and have a little bath.

    The rest of the story ...
    I had pots and kettles going and was transporting them to the tub, and then the biggest pot came to the boil and I started carrying it. It was still bubbling a bit and was heavy so a little bit of the boiling water sloshed onto my hand which caused me to jerk and I dropped the whole pot of water.

    I stepped back with my right foot, but my left foot was in the way and I essentially poured the whole pot of boiling water onto my left foot.

    It came up in a massive blister, I rang a taxi who took me to the hospital (I'm not sure why I didn't call an ambulance). I walked in and there was a paramedic talking to the receptionist ... he rushed out and got me a wheelchair. The doctor cut the blister off and dressed the wound, gave me crutches and sent me home.

    I was told to go to my doctor's the next day to have the dressing changed, so I carefully put the foot in a thick sock and took the bus to the doctor's office. I had to see someone I don't normally see because my regular doctor wasn't available. He ripped off the dressing and when I started to cry, he looked at me and said, "Oh, does that hurt?".

    As soon as he was finished, I went to the toilet and threw up.

    The receptionist called me over and gave me a card for a home nurse service and told me not to come back to that doctor but to use the home nurse service instead. She's seen how he treated me and felt so bad.

    So I spent 5 weeks at home with my foot up. The home care nurse came for a few minutes each day, my grocery delivery service came once a week, and my supervisor dropped by a couple times to give me work or take work back to the office. Otherwise I was alone. When I started going back to the office, the homecare nurse came there to do the dressing changes.

    One of my coworkers told me his mother was a nurse in the burns unit and he had told her about me. She said I likely needed to have the wound debrided and got me in to see a specialist. That was a whole new torture and I'm sure one of their hospital chairs had finger holes after that experience!!

    But the specialist told me that way back in the beginning I should have been kept for a few days in hospital! The burn was that bad.

    The accident happened on November 1 and about mid-Jan I started riding my exercise bike. I could only ride for 5 or 10 minutes. Prior to that I could do no exercise, I could barely stand, because the veins etc. had been burnt and blood would pool in my foot causing it to swell.

    About mid-February, I stuffed my still bandaged foot into a cycling shoe and went for a ride outside.

    And in July, I cycled a 1200 km event.


    M in Oz
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 20,220 Member
    Machka9 wrote: »
    I hope that WCB starts listening and gets this all straightened out soon.

    Tracey in Edmonton

    It's all in the hands of lawyers now and we've been told to brace ourselves for a long haul. It might not be too long (several more months or a year or so) ... or it could be quite long (many more years). Early days, so we don't know yet.

    M in Oz
    Rori - it’s nice to read that you are getting out and enjoying life.

    Machka - years is an insane amount of time, I hope it’s only months for you.

    Tracey in Edmonton

    The way I look at it is this ...

    When I order a hamburger, I don't want them to rush making it. I want that hamburger to be well done ... thoroughly cooked all the way through. So I don't mind waiting for my hamburger.

    In the same way, I don't want our situation to be rushed. I'd rather have the lawyers do thorough research and consider all the aspects, and thus for the outcome to be "well done". So I don't mind waiting for that to happen.


    M in Oz