WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR SEPTEMBER 2021
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As you know, we rarely leave our neighborhood. Today was a day of big "adventures". We went to the nearby garden shop to buy elephant garlic to plant, then to the library to pick up a book I had on hold, then to Home Depot to buy more soil for the raised garden beds so we can plant the garlic. I've gotten friend requests from those people with no picture and no details. I just don't accept them. About two years ago, I spent months scanning all my photos. I worked about thirty minutes a day and eventually I finished.
Barbie in NW WA 1 -
Auntiebk it was really nice talking to you one the phone today!0
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The geese are gathering🍁🌾🍂
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I’ve been reading and following along but haven’t taken a lot of time to respond.
Julie - I agree with Karen and Lisa.
Rebecca - you mentioned something yesterday about writing down where you lived for your boys. My grandmother noted this down and also all the places she taught. My Mom wasn’t interested but I sure was.
Beth - I took all of my pictures out of albums and put them in year order. For all of the duplicates I put them in a separate box. I scrapbook occasionally though and both of my daughters have shown interest. I did toss a lot of landscape- parade and people I didn’t recognize though.
Katla - I feel for you. You are in a difficult position. I hope you and DH fly though.
I get a couple friend requests a day lately, I’ve just been deleting them.
Machka - I’m thinking of printing a lot of my digital ones. I want to be able to sit and go through them with my grandchildren. I don’t find it as such a great activity on screens.
Michele - congratulations on the job
I had a pretty nice weekend. I didn’t go anywhere or do much, just a lot of time to do what I wanted whatever it was. I should have cleaned but didn’t. 😂
It was 26C here today and dropping to 8 overnight. Currently it’s 9pm, there is a soft rain but it’s still 16c so I haven’t shut the door yet.
Tracey in Edmonton
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bananasandoranges wrote: »Sat Sep 25th, 2021 - World Dream Day
https://www.daysoftheyear.com/days/dream-day/
"It does not matter where you come from, where you live, or how much money you have, one thing that we all have in common is dreams! We all have aspirations and goals for a better tomorrow."
"World Dream Day has been established for the purpose of encouraging individuals, communities, businesses, schools, and families to take some time to concentrate on their dreams and make an effort to turn them into a reality."
Do you still have dreams? Not the sleep kind, the goal, aspiration kind.
Machka in Oz
Sure I do!
when my mom was in nursing home at 75 shortly before passing - not knowing how long she would live she still had hopes dreams aspirations.
I'm not sure if I do anymore.
I've accomplished a lot of my goals and a lot of my dreams have to do with travel.
Who knows when travel will resume!! They're sort of hinting that interstate travel may resume around Christmas but international travel will be some time after that. Plus of course, my husband's situation means he can't travel out of Tassie for the foreseeable future ... and by the time things actually open up to allow us to travel again, I'm not sure if he'll be up to it.
To all:
Do you still have dreams? Not the sleep kind, the goal, aspiration kind.
If so, what are one or two of your dreams and goals?
Machka in Oz0 -
Sue: My condolences on losing your mother, especially after making the trip to move her.
Katla: Glad that you and DH are working through the logistics of travelling together. I have also been wheel-chair bound at an airport. It was not terrible. As Allie said, be prepared with tip money and allow extra time because there has been a big demand for wheelchair assistance lately, and it can take awhile for them to meet your plane. My take: Life is short and while you have mobility, reward yourselves with every opportunity to see your kids and grands.
One of the fun times I had this month...
Whenever I have brunch at my niece's house I can count on great coffee, homemade biscotti and kisses from her sweet kitty, Eduardo. 😻💕😻💕 Stay well, friends. We can do this.
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Snowflake1968 wrote: »I’ve been reading and following along but haven’t taken a lot of time to respond.
Julie - I agree with Karen and Lisa.
Rebecca - you mentioned something yesterday about writing down where you lived for your boys. My grandmother noted this down and also all the places she taught. My Mom wasn’t interested but I sure was.
Beth - I took all of my pictures out of albums and put them in year order. For all of the duplicates I put them in a separate box. I scrapbook occasionally though and both of my daughters have shown interest. I did toss a lot of landscape- parade and people I didn’t recognize though.
Katla - I feel for you. You are in a difficult position. I hope you and DH fly though.
I get a couple friend requests a day lately, I’ve just been deleting them.
Machka - I’m thinking of printing a lot of my digital ones. I want to be able to sit and go through them with my grandchildren. I don’t find it as such a great activity on screens.
Michele - congratulations on the job
I had a pretty nice weekend. I didn’t go anywhere or do much, just a lot of time to do what I wanted whatever it was. I should have cleaned but didn’t. 😂
It was 26C here today and dropping to 8 overnight. Currently it’s 9pm, there is a soft rain but it’s still 16c so I haven’t shut the door yet.
Tracey in Edmonton
I find those details interesting as well. Lee has always been organized that way. He started a log book writing all the addresses with dates when we were there. It made filling out a rental application really easy! Organizing my fathers items he had a log book as well. He was in communications so he did the Morse code machine and typed out stuff. So his log book is all the places his ship visited and for how long during WWII. He must've taken out the spine and fit each page into his typewriter. It was a supply and troop carrier.
We have a family log book as well, an album where Lee has made entries in it periodically when things changed, and has a lot of old family photos of hs ancestors. It will be a nice thing for the boys to hang on to. Sadly his family kind of piled all the genealogy onto him. We have two huge Tupperware containers of books, albums, much of it a mishmash of his Moms side, and his Dads side. He actually had told his family he was organizing his paternal side only, but he got everything. He has no real interest in tackling it all.
Rebecca
Whidbey
Washington
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Poerava Your face shines with kitty love.💖. You are looking radiant friend!
Hugs!
Rebecca
Whidbey
Washington2 -
bananasandoranges wrote: »Sat Sep 25th, 2021 - World Dream Day
https://www.daysoftheyear.com/days/dream-day/
"It does not matter where you come from, where you live, or how much money you have, one thing that we all have in common is dreams! We all have aspirations and goals for a better tomorrow."
"World Dream Day has been established for the purpose of encouraging individuals, communities, businesses, schools, and families to take some time to concentrate on their dreams and make an effort to turn them into a reality."
Do you still have dreams? Not the sleep kind, the goal, aspiration kind.
Machka in Oz
Sure I do!
when my mom was in nursing home at 75 shortly before passing - not knowing how long she would live she still had hopes dreams aspirations.
I'm not sure if I do anymore.
I've accomplished a lot of my goals and a lot of my dreams have to do with travel.
Who knows when travel will resume!! They're sort of hinting that interstate travel may resume around Christmas but international travel will be some time after that. Plus of course, my husband's situation means he can't travel out of Tassie for the foreseeable future ... and by the time things actually open up to allow us to travel again, I'm not sure if he'll be up to it.
To all:
Do you still have dreams? Not the sleep kind, the goal, aspiration kind.
If so, what are one or two of your dreams and goals?
Machka in Oz
One of my dreams is to have finished everything I want to finish (like from my 2021-22 To Do list) and to be able to go home from work and have nothing to do. I think it would be fantastic to be able to just putter around doing nothing because there is nothing that needs to be done! I can't even imagine a day like that right now.
Yes, there would be boredom if that were the situation all the time, but I'd like to think I'd fill the time with things I want to do rather than need to do.
Meanwhile ... endoscopy tomorrow. Enforced afternoon nap!
M in Oz1 -
Tracey – I just find this a blessing in disguise. Here the lady at Food Lion was telling me about how hard it would be for me to find another job with the hours I wanted to work, but here I find one with the hours AND at a higher salary. Guess in a sense it was a good thing that she did what she did to me. God took care of me.
Rori – you are so wise. OHHH...that picture, the kitty is so, so cute. You look like you’ve lost weight.
My throat is feeling “scratchy”. I know that it’s this change in weather, you need pants in the a.m., shorts in the afternoon, then pants late in the evening. I don’t know if I should wear short or long pj’s. This weather is really messing with me...lol But this too shall pass. Just had some applesauce to coat my throat, now drinking a cup of hot tea. He a cup last night but that time with honey in it.
Michele NC
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Michele, awe scratchy throats are no fun. When I get a scratchy throat I gargle with warm water with salt in it. Its awful, but it does help a bit. When I was young my mom used to coat our tonsils with Mercurachrome! I'm pretty sure it was not meant to be painted on the inside of our mouths, but I am alive to tell the story!
Rebecca
Who had a silly mother in
Whidbey
Washington1 -
Rori - Holy cats! You look beautiful, still loving your short hair. Did your leash-loving kitty notice that you've been out catting around? (I'm sorry, but sometimes the pun just jumps all over me.)
Michele - Congrats on the BK job! I worked for one in Texas more than 40 years ago, but my only memory honestly is of leaving work and smelling like a Whopper all the time.
Debbie - That picture was beautiful. I could practically taste the grapes.
Katla - I'm so glad you and your husband are going to go together. You both need this.
Machka - Hope the endoscopy goes well.
Wide awake, my gut started acting up at about 10:30, and now it's nearly 2 a.m. I'll be able to sleep soon, I can tell, but thought I'd drop in here. The gut has settled somewhat, and hopefully will let me sleep. Hugs to those in need of some...
Love y'all,
Lisa in AR4 -
Rori - Fabulous photo.
Sending hugs and love, my friend. When are you coming over on that postponed trip to the UK? 
Life must feel a bittersweet magical wonderland right now.
Scheduled to pick up Bea today, but need a key to the house. I've texted my son. He sent an incomprehensible emoji. I hope the rain we see forecast will give us a window for the pickup.
I'm feeling nervous. Not sure why. DH is a bit antsy having finished his long project of the novel. He has started researching the next one!
I am nearing the end of mine. Mixed feelings of nerves, excitement, tiredness, antsyness, weepyness. You name it, I'm feeling it. It’s been three and a half years in the making.
Keep on trucking. I'm not finished yet.
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx
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LISA ALLIE KIM BETH TRACEY others,
Thanks for your input.
I dont interact with F. He has been pretty much absent from our group for 6 months. a few days before his retirement - his is back and causing trouble. Indeed he is retiring so that can be legitimate reason for modifying his status in the collective, which, at present has few solid rules. I wrote or spoke to the 5 other active members about this. One on the phone said that retirees don't need to have same status as working members, (or be members) and if I'm not there the collective will stop it's activity. One - before I thought of the retirement thing said - "we can vote - you or him. Everyone will choose you. I choose you." I'm not keen on such an approach.
Two others I wrote to just today, including O. Title of email to O= "Transitional therapy for young retirees?" F hasn't been there for 6 months and has been rather conflictual and has always been messy. his role was key and active early on, but - as has been said he is at best "a maverick" - not doing anything and then coming back and acting willy-nilly. if seems to me that he is just using the collective for familiar comfort while transitioning into retirement. I doubt he will be active in 6 months. I wrote that F may well need some accompanying for difficult period of early retirement but that we don't have the skills for such an accompaniment, that presumably there are some organisations or groups that do - quite possibly even engaged ones. it was half ironic but not really all that much when you get to it.
If F sticks around - and I suppose he will continue, I think I will call it quits.
I sent sms to all actives Sunday to let them now I may stop. to those who ask or called in response, I told them why.
Sadly I think you are right about O., who I have considered a relatively close friend-colleague. He tends to be very kind I would say, with everyone, or nearly everyone, or at least polite and tends to kind or kind-mannered. The DARK SIDE of that can be saying different things to different people. "Yes you are right" to me. "Yes you are right "to F. And his tendency would be to align himself with F when forced to choose. So I reminded him again by mail how F was vulgar in his repeated criticism and at the time O seemed clearly more aligned with F - though softening a bit as we discussed - more distant, even some as F was there...
My impression was that O was acting as if he and I are not friend- colleagues at all, whereas really we are. We work a lot together (maybe 2h on phone and google doc every 2 weeks or so usually on a Saturday or Sunday and work goes well) and we also meet for a bite or coffee maybe once every 2 weeks or so. I think it's partly to keep a "liveness" to the dryness of online/phone working - after year+ of confinement or semi-confinement here. A bit like regular work.
I will not interact any more with F. If he is allowed to come to meetings I'm going to do my best to have his status reduced. "Emeritus member"
I wrote to O, echoing some of what some of you have said.
That he must agree with F when F complains about me.
And he agrees with me when we talk about the problems of F.
That if he wants to agree with and support F when F is vulgar and insulting and pretend that O and I don't have a harmonious friendly constructive work relationship - then he can do that but then I certainly don't consider that a friendship - and we can skip the friend part and only talk about professional things as is the case with many colleagues, with whom there is a peaceful or friendly professional relationship.
I know he said at other times he considers we are friends.
But I figure if you either
are friends but pretend you are not
OR
pretend you are friends, but are not,
you are not really a friend !
it sounds like a high school movie to me. something I didn't experience in high school.
ALLIE thanks for explaining your path about that. I am sorry you had to go through that. It sounds really hard. if people are nice at 1st it is hard to know they will not be later.
Even for your DH1, I don't know that one should eliminate prospects due to their parents. My sister's 2nd Husband's mom nd also 1st wife are both really out there, but he has been a rock and good guy for my sister and her son, and even extended family when need be, for close to 20 years. He was the caretaker of these out there ladies and families. So maybe there was no way to know for you. Especially If DH2 had such a change of character. Some people do. I have met a few who when in their old family region were unpleasant throwbacks. This is not a romance thing with F and O. F is not at all appealing. He is (O said!) also unkempt. Apparently that has changed in the past few years. O said F looks like a bum! (whereas he has been teaching in higher ed!). It was not an offhand insult - when I said I now find F repulsive due to his recent behavior - O said he found that a bit on the physical level -that he is so unkempt. Whereas we never talk about people's appearances. With O it is not a romance either, just a good working relation (mostly). I would say I have about 4 people I talk to more or often - in life a present. O, B (guys) and S and M (women). This can change from year to year. B I have known for the longest, and thus I don't question our friendship much at all.
O is quite reliable.
I'm willing to let the "friendship" part go if it is not authentic enough, and just continue the work part.
running late for a drs appointment, I have so been dragging since Sunday morning.0 -
HEATHER what do you do when you feel antsy?0
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I've been in bad physically and emotionally since Sunday (since I got mail from colleague who informed me that F was trying to subtly get her against me and seemed to enjoy making things a bit difficult for me in a conversation - when I didn't get it - apparently using a term with double meaning and being collusive with her ...)1
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"Get to do"s and "chose well"sChose well: BP, dogs to powerline in the rain, one load laundry.
Bonus: veg prep, practiced WBW, DM, practiced 7/8 of Grand Daddy Long Legs, burned a bunch of financial papers.
Get to do: take BP, dogs to powerline, call Spectrum Mobile to learn how to print statements, learn last eighth of GDLL, pick up rx, DDS, call pc guy to schedule tuneup, learn a section of GrandDaddy Long Legs, USE those torture bands/do that BB&B video, call S, text C, fire district: research NFPA, grant NIMS requirements, input 2019 call sheets into NFIRS, work with chief on equipment letter, substance abuse policy, NFIRS mutual aid and other missing details, likewise Lee skills/tasks, ask for boots donator contact info, appreciation letter or certificate to boots donator, index mutual aid files; watch STAS Day 20, declutter sideboard, learn new dances (Tequila Little Time, Homesick, Nothing but You, A Little Less Broken, Blame it on my beating heart, Do Your Thing, practice dances: Silver Linings, All Night, TGIF, I ain’t never gonna love nobody but Cornell Crawford (Alley cat), One Margarita, I’m so used to being broke); finish mulching flowerbed, invest another 10 minutes in prepping living trust, Freddie’s for complete series TDAP <$48, get Shingrix vaccine, find and configure a screen time popup, figure out where to plant the last of the naked lady bulbs, and soon as it warms up above 50 and dries out below 60% humidity I’ll tape and spray paint those rusted areas of Aunt Elsie’s stove, ask Te about GB’s FD firetruck tax levy – contacts, media, advocate???, Reward: inventory seeds, plan this fall’s garden, wishlist replenishments (Milena F1 orange peppers and beit alpha cukes next year).
September
28: Choose to see your mistakes as steps to help you learn. Saved by grace.
Scorched the garlic in my lemon parmesan roasted cauliflower, stank up the house. Foo.
Pouring down rain all day, a real Oregon gully washer. It was much needed. Can hear the creek flowing again and more confident of our cistern.
Thanks for bringing the rain, pip! Was fun chatting with you on the phone. Too bad the restaurant was closed, I would have enjoyed dining with you, Kirby and Yogi.
Kate, good to see you popping in.
Karen thanks for your compassionate analysis
Machka “only 33 floors” :laugh: Fingers X’d for the procedure.
Julie I’m with Lisa. Seems the pain F causes outweighs the benefits of the activism collective. Good luck with the Dr. appointment.
Beth I eat the huckleberries as is while harvesting, then both Joe and I sprinkle on our morning oats. Next year hope to have enough for a crumble or a cobbler… ((hugs))
Allie remind me where you’re going? Don’t understand about the gate and the HOA.
Tracey glad you had a restful weekend.
Michele hope your prep work job morphs into one where you have more customer contact
Katla ((hugs)) and sending hopeful vibes your DH will be up for the trip.
Rori :love: the pic!
Heather having two antsy authors in the house at once must be challenging.
Rebecca mercurochrome on tonsils?!? Gaaaaa!!!!!
Lighter, lovelies!
Barbara, the Southern Oregon Coastie AHMOD
September: leaner/stronger/kinder than August.2021: choose to be leaner/stronger/kinder NOW
daily: sit with Joe:28, weigh/wii: 26/0/0; steps>7222=7895 vits=27, log=27, CI<CO=25, CI<250<CO=16, Tumble=23, Shadow=26, mfp=25, outside=31, up hill=25, clean 10=13.
wkly: Sun: Mon: Tue:LD=1.5, Wed:TC=1, PW=2, Thurs: TC=5mins, Fri:TC=1.33, Sat:PW=2, rX x4=4.
wt=1/31:141.3 2/28:142.4 3/31:145.3 4/30:141.5 5/31:142.4 6/30:141.5 7/31:140.2 8/31:140.0 9/5:140.2 9/12:139.8 9/19:142.2 9/26:140.7 9/30:
mnthly: board mtg=1, grant=, plan=, waist=42.
bonus: AF=13, play=1.25!!! sew=
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Barbara- i have a little hallway and someone from the board took a picture of a long gate i was planning on giving to a friend of mine it is about 20 inches high and free standing,and had it for Alfie so ,they sent me a picture and rolled off some rule and if i didnt move it there would be a fine.. i had already moved it when I got the letter.. sometimes they have nothing better to do 🙄
Julie- im sorry,thought you were talking men ,not colleagues.. but neither of them sound great either..
After I got back from my trip last February. I had to think long and hard.
The owner that had bought the dental practice I worked for was a jerk and didnt treat us well.. mostly it was us who did the office work,so he basically made it unbearable until we quit. Had I just hung on another week or 2 I could have gotten unemployment..I tried but I had already written him a resignation letter so it didnt fly.
The stress from the job didnt help my heart issues either.so I have been living on alimony up until last week when i got my first disability check..
But im doing well and im healthy for the time being,here is hoping i stay that way.. i pray every day 🙏 I do..2 -
Julie - I have recently been practising some mind techniques. I have gleaned them from all kinds of sources. The basic idea is to see the mind/thoughts as different from the real "I" and to observe them. Observe them with compassion.
I follow a lot of mind teachers/psychologists in books and online and watch videos. I find them the most enormous help.
I have also found that it is important to really sink into the feeling temporarily in order to really explore it. Not to stay there, but to see where it comes from and recognise it as OK and normal.
Then you can deal with it.
I also am very, very lucky to have a husband who I can talk to. He is not perfect, but, if I express myself the right way, he can listen and sympathise. Occasionally he tries to argue me out of it, which does not work, but I remind him that I just need him to listen. A good friend would be the same.
So, I would say, feel it, really feel it. Accept it as OK to have those feelings. Then know you are not your feelings. Watch them with your wise self. Have compassion for them. Let them go and be in the present. Just be, here, now.
I use various visualisations to help me with this that I learnt from my mentors. Most of our mind talk is just that. Internal chatter. If you message me I can suggest some sources I have found helpful.
I hope that is helpful. Of course, exercise is a great medicine, as is actually getting on with the thing you are worrying about instead of procrastinating. My school report said, 'Heather should not procrastinate so much.'
Love to all, Heather UK xxxxxxxx1
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