~ Sobriety Matters ~

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  • Sinisterbarbie1
    Sinisterbarbie1 Posts: 389 Member
    Happy Saturday all…. And good for you for staying on course/course correcting/getting back on course whatever the case may be. It is all worth it. Speaking as someone who has both been a drinker and now a non drinker, and has also had lapses as a non drinker, I will say that it is not necessarily “easy” for anyone but it absolutely becomes a thousand percent easier if you can get past like 3 to 4 month of not drinking at all and build it into a habit. There are a variety of physical and mental reasons for that, but it just gets easier to say no thanks, and not worry about it and it becomes automatic. You go from feeling self conscious to feeling empowered ( or at least not caring), and physically you lose all of the anxiety and craving/withdrawal symptoms that draw you back to drinking alcohol you say you don’t even like the taste of. It is why people go to rehab programs for the first month if they can afford it - so they can get over the hardest, hardest, hardest part with no temptations and all the support in the world. So you are doing that part white knuckle and on your own. It may be kinder to yourselves if you worry that you will find it hard to avoid the temptation to not put yourselves in a position to be tempted for at least the first month.

    The other thing I will say is that I personally, and maybe some of you too, drank when I felt socially awkward, So when I hear you say that you worry that you are taking up the space of a higher paying customer or that everyone will be looking at what you are drinking, I have felt that way too, but it is just not true. No one cares what you are drinking, or cares about or notices little things about us as much as we do ourselves. And also, you deserve to take up as much space anywhere you wish. You are a customer and are entitled to your space and good service like everyone else, and don’t let anyone make you feel otherwise! Clearly, the excellent bartender showed you you were welcome, and I am sure others will as well!
    Be well and be happy, and take care of yourselves.
  • BeIn2day
    BeIn2day Posts: 1,604 Member
    @Sinisterbarbie1 great post ❣️😊
  • BeIn2day
    BeIn2day Posts: 1,604 Member
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    My drinks tonight ~

    Heineken 00 & a Sunrise mocktail 🍹

    So grateful that most establishments these days have atleast 1 AF beer. It scratches that itch for me when I'm in that environment with lots of folks around the bar sipping wine or beers. AF beers and wines isn't things I stock at home. I'm genuinely not bothered at home. But when out and about I do like the option of AF beers and wines. It just scratches that itch for me 🤷🏼‍♀️
  • Sinisterbarbie1
    Sinisterbarbie1 Posts: 389 Member
    Looks festive and fun! Cheers!
  • BeIn2day
    BeIn2day Posts: 1,604 Member
    Looks festive and fun! Cheers!

    Cheers ! 🎉
  • BeIn2day
    BeIn2day Posts: 1,604 Member
    Wakening up on a Sunday hangover free.

    Absolutely ROCKS !!!

    I love the fact I have reclaimed my weekends. No more lying in bed as a matter of course, feeling as if the life force has drained out of me.

    No more splitting sore heads.
    Empty feeling, churning gut.
    Nausea & dizziness.
    Mouth as dry as the Sahara.
    A mind completely jumbled.
    A panick setting in. Oh no. What happened last night? Is everything okay ??
    (I'm sure there is more, let's face it)

    ^^ Waking up with just ONE of these would be bad enough. But I woke up with ALL of these on a regular basis. I'm sure it would have contributed to my depression & anxiety. But it's the chicken and egg scenario. I was also drinking to escape. I'm just eternally grateful I managed to escape this 'drinking heavily every weekend' trap. (Which was sneaking itself into my weekdays, as well. SCARY).

    So thankful to have the support system on here as well. Its really helped !!
  • SunnyDays930
    SunnyDays930 Posts: 1,181 Member
    I went to the most beautiful wedding shower yesterday. It was tea party themed and all the ladies had pretty hats or fascinators. I wish I had upped my game; I just had a plain straw hat. I now see you can order them inexpensively on Amazon. Oh well, I've got another coming up in May. When I arrived there was a beautiful table with champagne and sangria on it. But there was also NA champagne, water with limes floating in it, lavender pink lemonade etc. I put the NA champagne in my flute and ignored the rest. I was amazed that barely anyone drank! Those 2 alcoholic beverages had well more than half left by the end of the shower. If I had indulged at least one of those would have been empty and then today I would be embarrassed beyond belief. Instead I had a lovely and memorable afternoon. I slept really well FINALLY. I am starting to emotionaly and physically feel the benefits of living without alcohol. Today we will see my daughter and grandchildren in morning then drive out to see my mother. I'm glad I will be fully present for these events today.
  • BeIn2day
    BeIn2day Posts: 1,604 Member
    @SunnyDays930 so happy for you! It is so refreshing when you have those ah-ha moments about chosing the sobriety path. Sounds like you had a lovely time, without alcohol! 😉 🌺
  • BeIn2day
    BeIn2day Posts: 1,604 Member
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    It's a hard knock life for us, it's a hard knock life for us 🎶
  • SunnyDays930
    SunnyDays930 Posts: 1,181 Member
    Your cat is lucky to have you. What a lovely spot to sit in!
  • BeIn2day
    BeIn2day Posts: 1,604 Member
    Your cat is lucky to have you. What a lovely spot to sit in!

    I love my cats. They are basically my children. I'm a cat mum 🐈🐈‍⬛😄❣️
  • BeIn2day
    BeIn2day Posts: 1,604 Member
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    A ring I ordered myself recently to remind me of my mother. She loved turquoise and native American culture so the ring has 2 Eagle feathers 🪶 either side. I find it very fitting its arrived today (mothers day in USA) I ordered the ring from USA. It was meant to take weeks to arrive. I absolutely love it! Its a bit too big so I will have it resized.
  • Sinisterbarbie1
    Sinisterbarbie1 Posts: 389 Member
    That is beautiful! And a beautiful reminder of your mother. I don’t know if you take any interest in chakras or crystals and that sort of thing, but if you do, “the Turquoise balances and aligns all the chakras, stabilising mood swings and instilling inner calm. It is excellent for depression and exhaustion, it also has the power to prevent panic attacks. Turquoise promotes self-realisation and assists creative problem solving. “ It is also meant to help you speak your truth. I wish you (and all of you) all of these good things - whether you are wearing a turquoise or not.

  • Sinisterbarbie1
    Sinisterbarbie1 Posts: 389 Member
    Actually, while I am thinking of it …. One thing that has really been helpful to me has been meditation (don’t have to do it for long, or with any particular spiritual practice - but if you want to set an intention for your day that is especially helpful or if you are religious, a morning prayer ritual is also wonderful) The idea for me has been to have a practice that grounds me with some positive intentions and calm for the day so that I do not begin my day by looking at my phone and checking texts and emails first thing (sometimes even before I get out of bed! Yuck!). A good rule is that the first thing you touch in the morning should be a human, or a pet, or a plant …. Not your phone.
    In any event, waking up and meditating or praying or just being still for a few minutes, then perhaps stretching/yoga/ a quick walk before or after tea or coffee or hot water and lemon gives you some space and peace to find yourself and ground yourself before all the things that can stress you and throw you off course can barrel (or creep) in to disrupt your good intentions. Doing this makes it easier to stick with whatever you intend to do - whether it is exercise, eat better, be kinder to yourself, be more mindful in your life generally, not drink, smoke, consume sugar, etc. It gives you the moments you need to wake up and be you before the digital world presses in on you and demands you be what it wants.
  • BeIn2day
    BeIn2day Posts: 1,604 Member
    That is beautiful! And a beautiful reminder of your mother. I don’t know if you take any interest in chakras or crystals and that sort of thing, but if you do, “the Turquoise balances and aligns all the chakras, stabilising mood swings and instilling inner calm. It is excellent for depression and exhaustion, it also has the power to prevent panic attacks. Turquoise promotes self-realisation and assists creative problem solving. “ It is also meant to help you speak your truth. I wish you (and all of you) all of these good things - whether you are wearing a turquoise or not.

    This is exactly where I am in my life right now....I'm glad I'm wearing turquoise! I'm looking at self realisation, and speaking my truth.

    I've never focused on things like crystals or chakras, but I am interested to learn about it.
  • BeIn2day
    BeIn2day Posts: 1,604 Member
    @Sinisterbarbie1 I have developed a peaceful morning routine.

    I wake up early (to avoid beginning the day with a sense of lack. I don't need to rush around lacking time, I've got plenty time).

    I eat breakfast (something healthy) and have a green tea. (I quit lemon water as I started to worry about my tooth enamel !)

    Then I meditate. I love it.

    I'm gona start throwing in positive affirmations.

    I do pick up my phone first thing (to turn alarm off) but 9 times out of 10 one of my cats jumps onto the bed so it's usually a cat I'm cuddling before I grab my phone lol

    As a rule, I only check relevant things on my phone first thing. No news. No emails. Just things like my meditation app etc. Or my music playlist and put on a upbeat tune (usually on the weekends).

    The morning (during weekdays) is my quiet time. It let's me set off to work feeling relaxed and refreshed each morning. I don't switch the TV on in the morning at all. In fact I barely watch much TV these days. But I do spend a lot of time on this screen....my mobile phone 🤷🏼‍♀️
  • SunnyDays930
    SunnyDays930 Posts: 1,181 Member
    I love these ideas for morning rituals. I think I said before I put on a live cam of my favorite beach and watch the sunrise. I light a beach scent candle and it really takes me there. Whatever works. I have been listening to some positive affirmations on youtube as well. I love them.
  • SunnyDays930
    SunnyDays930 Posts: 1,181 Member
    My mom had white and red open at her place when we arrived today. My husband and I both had seltzer. I am kind of surprised (and happy) that he is abstaining as well, at least for now.
  • BeIn2day
    BeIn2day Posts: 1,604 Member
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    🌻Monday Motivation🌻
  • BeIn2day
    BeIn2day Posts: 1,604 Member
    My mom had white and red open at her place when we arrived today. My husband and I both had seltzer. I am kind of surprised (and happy) that he is abstaining as well, at least for now.

    That's a double success 🙌 🙌