WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR DECEMBER 2022
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I wrote this in December 2009 and it came up in my FB memories:50 Things to Do Before I Die
In July 1996, Wendy Swallow Williams published an article entitled "50 Things to Do Before I Die" in the Washington Post. I read that article some months later in the Readers Digest and it has stuck with me all this time.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/archive/lifestyle/1996/07/04/50-things-to-do-before-i-die/dc7e82e3-0b49-4d49-8f55-0e3e18c4e839/
50 Things to Do Before I Die by Wendy Swallow Williams
The idea behind the article was to create a list of the 50 things we want to do during our lifetimes. Some things might be more urgent than others ... things we might want to complete in the next few years, or things that might wait till retirement. Some things might be more important than others. Some things might be to advance a career, others might be for fun.
But whenever we are bored, or think our lives are going nowhere, or want a change, or feel at loose ends ...... we dig out that list, pick something interesting, and start working on it.
I was fascinated, and so I created my list. I did it a bit differently than the author did ... she just started writing, whereas I, as is my nature, created categories. So I had a category for Educational Pursuits, another for Cycling, another for Other Sports, Travel, Creative Activities, etc. Within each category, I had a short list of things I wanted to do or accomplish.
I made this list back in 1996/1997 or so, and have managed to accomplish a large portion of the list in the past 13-ish years.
I'm in a position now where I am at loose ends again, and so I am revisiting that list I created many years ago ... and since I've checked off many things on my previous list, and since I'm in a whole different place than I was when I created that first list, I am planning to recreate it.
We're coming to the end of the first decade of 21st century. It's been 10 years since Year 2000!! Can you believe it!?
But what better time than to create or recreate a list of 50 things we might want to accomplish. Not resolutions for the coming year, but rather things we would really like to do in the coming years.
Machka in Oz4 -
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Yesterday ... after having my hip stitches taken out. I still have 15 or 16 internal stitches in my hip which will dissolve, but the external ones are out and I was actually able to sleep on my side for a few minutes last night!
Machka in Oz12 -
Ginny, I love your penguin!
Evelyn, Vancouver Island1 -
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Very interesting how different nations prefer to handle money. I understand, in Germany, most everyday transactions are done in cash. Restaurants and supermarkets!
I haven't used cash since March 2020, our first lockdown. Cash went out, just touch cards. Now a lot of people have gone back to cash for small purchases, but not me.
I do all my banking on line. All household bills, except window cleaning and the cleaner is direct debit. I pay those online when they come. I check my accounts every few days and know exactly what is in there. I don't do budgets, because, as long as we are in the black, I don't worry about it. Apart from food, (and cruuses) we are not big spenders. No debts. Don't eat out much. Don't get takeaway much. Rarely buy clothes. I have almost no income and my state pension goes into the joint account for bills.
I have had savings accounts for big items, but the cruises have emptied a couple. After this next one, I will have to raid another. I am old enough not to be saving for the 'future'. I am spending for the moment. SKI.
DH adopts a more cautious approach and keeps his savings. I have no access to them. It is a worry which I have not managed to address yet. If he were incapacitated, we would be in a pickle as our expenditure would go up and I can't use his money.
I keep putting off having that discussion with him again.
We don't have to pay for health care here, but extra stuff you do, unless you are in receipt of benefits.
Otherwise, I just keep finances straight forward and try to get to the end of the month in the black!
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx2 -
Hi Gals,
Ok just had to give you the most fun update yet! I told you I had ordered myself boots… well Mom called again more upset than before as she just could not fine anything appropriate for me.
So I told her no gift or cash or a gift card was ok. But NO! more tears…. So I said well there is one more possibility, I know you don’t approve of boots, but my feet have been cold, the only shoes I have except for my work boots are mesh so I have a pair of short fur lined boots on order, that under my pants will just look like closed shoes, and they will be here today. I told her I would not open them and she could reimburse me and wrap them and give them to me. Honestly at this point I don’t care if she pays… just stop blaming me for liking different things than she does. She hemmed and hawed and was not happy but said yes! Does this make her my pimp?
Laughing and dancing a jig!
Smiles Kim in N. California
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Heather,
I have a suggestion for your discussion with Johnny. What if you choose your moment (I'm actually thinking during exercise if you don't wear music usually), and then just say, "Johnny, I love you so. I need you to help me with something. I need to know what to do if something should happen to you. How would you like me to handle things? I don't need an answer right away, but it would give me peace of mind to know what to do." Would that work with him?
I know Johnny has a need to be in control of his money, and I totally understand and empathize with that, but not having access to his money understandably causes you angst, and is a recurring issue in your posts.
I have a very similar situation with my spouse, only I'm the one with the money. Now that she has been diagnosed with Parkinsonism (a very recent diagnosis - the doctor is not willing to call it Parkinson's Syndrome yet; "Parkinsonism" is a broader umbrella), I think the best thing is to do the legal stuff necessary for her son to administer a trust fund for her care and needs which would kick in if I die or am unable to manage our affairs. And also, I will name an alternative should Emerson be unable or unwilling to administer the trust (probably an attorney, because Emerson's sister Katie, Olivia & Phoenix's mom, would not be a good choice). It will be tricky, because I want my biological child and grandchildren to get a chunk if there is anything left, but I'm thinking a trust could be structured to accomplish that.
I am also going to find out if there would be any benefit to setting up a trust for my disabled artist brother, and one for my grandson, who is on the spectrum.
My beneficiaries potentially include my 2 brothers, our children, our grandchildren (there will be six as of Jan 2, 2023), and approximately 10 good friends. There are several nonprofits I am interested in supporting. I am going to get all those affairs in order in 2023. I am going to keep plugging away until the other house is sold and our affairs are in order, and then I am going to devote myself to enjoying retirement. I'm already enjoying it, but admittedly not full-time, as I am working at the other house daily, and still have a long way to go to ready it for market.
Love,
Karen in Virginia8 -
margaretturk wrote: »Did my annual Como Christmas display...
If you click on the last picture you will see what looks like a tree. It is actually a rosemary plant trimmed to look like a tree. I gave a small one like it as a housewarming present to my neighbor who had a neighborhood Christmas party.
Stunning!1 -
Morning all. Interesting discussion on finances. We took the ‘with all my worldly goods I thee endow’ at our wedding very seriously. As DH was often away on business, (he was an engineer) I took charge of our joint finances.
Because of my childhood , I was always careful with money, as I was determined that I would not get into a debt spiral like my mother had. Consequently, I avoided debt. If we didn’t have cash to pay for something we saved for it rather than buy it on the ‘never never’.
When I started teaching after my children started school, my salary went into a separate account in a different bank, and we split households expenses between our accounts. I still did all the managing, and all our accounts are in joint names. However, now that we are retired, he manages the accounts in ’his’ bank, and I manage those in ‘my’ bank. Neither of us are spendthrifts. We discuss big purchases, and which account they will be paid from.
I distrust internet banking, so check my accounts often, still write the occasional cheque, and like to keep a little cash in my purse, but I use my card for most purchases.
Regular bills are paid automatically.
Ginny: That’s a cool penguin.
Virtual (((hugs))) and 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 for those who need them.
🙋♀️ Miele failte to the newbies.
☘️ Terri5 -
Some of the Metrecal deaths were due to hypoglycemia (low blood sugar) leading to arrhythmias of the heart and sudden death. This was more common in diabetics who didn't stop or adjust their diabetes medicines. There is a rapid resolution of insulin resistance when a person goes on a very low calorie diet, so essentially you have a person whose diabetes has suddenly gone into remission, taking diabetes medicines they don't need, losing weight like crazy, and perhaps even misinterpreting their low blood sugar symptoms as "keto flu". The Metrecal was not toxic.2
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Reviewing 2022 I’m reasonably happy with my progress this year. I have been in maintenance since Aug 2019, and had been maintaining around 138 for a couple of years. I’m at 132 at the moment.
This year, I have managed to develop a tranche of solid habits which have helped me enormously. Many thanks to the members of Building Healthy Habits
Solid Habits💎Daily Meditation2023 Intentions:
💎CleanToilets/Walk/Make beds
💎Post Sole Mates steps
💎Weigh < 140/log
💎Monitor %age Fat/Muscle
💎Log CI<CO/Balance macros
💎Herbal tea/supplements
💎Self care
💎Quality time with DH
💎Ablutions/dress/Shiny sinks
💎Breakfast
💎Intentional exercise > 60 minutes
💎Cardio > 7500 steps
💎Strength > 15 minutes
💎Flex > 15 minutes
💎Active hours > 6
💎Declutter > 15 minutes
💎paint/draw/write/read
💎Craft/crochet
💎Gardening
💎jigsaw/puzzles/TV favourites
💎Meet with friends
💎Quality family time
💎Sole Mates evening reminder
💎JGM10Ds/JFT/UAC
💎Close Apple rings
💎Building Healthy Habits
💎Duolingo Latin
💎Puzzles/read/TV
💎Update Women over 50
💎Daily chores
📍Continue to adhere to my solid habits
📍Refine and develop daily routines
📍Maintain progress
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Ginny - The penguin is very stylish!
We are going to be hosting my elder son's 'stepdaughter' at the end of March, so that she can get a tattoo at a favourite artist in Brighton. My son texted me yesterday to ask if it were possible. Just one night and she is a charming young woman.
Karen - My intention is to broach the subject again at a suitable moment. But I never seem to find the moment!
Now he is getting older, he may be more positively inclined, but he is a private and independent person. He keeps all passwords etc secret . Years of habit. I think the tactic of leaving it to him to figure it out is a good one and one I have considered using.
Terri - I too feel pleased with my progress this year. My writing is progressing steadily and regularly, which always makes me happy. We had two wonderful cruises and started painting in watercolour, which is a new thing we can do together. I am making small steps in social media for publicity purposes. Doing more is an aim for next year. I want to start making videos.
But mainly my biggest progress has been in letting go of a lot of old angst. I am so much calmer and my houndaries are firmer. I have shed a lot of envy and I am happy in myself. If I do get ruffled, I deal with it and it passes.
I have very much enjoyed listening to enlightening podcasts this year. They inspire me and help me. I hope to be able to help others in a similar way.
I spent most of my life with 'pieces of mind', now I have, most of the time, peace of mind. This has taken a lot of time and a lot of deep work. Writing my memoirs was life-changing for me. I have a deep sense of peace. I have lost a lot of my 'control-freakery'. Yes, I am thrown off course occasionally, but I can get back fairly quickly with a little 'going inside'. I don't allow things to go off course for long and I'm very attuned to anything 'wrong' in my peace.
My word FREE for 2023 refers to that sense of peace. That internal freedom brings me joy, just normal, everyday joy in living. Ordinary things become quite wonderful. Everyday miracles and epiphanies.
I wish everyone joy and peace for 2023. Remember your worth. :flowerforyou: You are precious.
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx6 -
cityjaneLondon wrote: »I do all my banking on line. All household bills, except window cleaning and the cleaner is direct debit. I pay those online when they come. I check my accounts every few days and know exactly what is in there. I don't do budgets, because, as long as we are in the black, I don't worry about it. Apart from food, (and cruuses) we are not big spenders. No debts. Don't eat out much. Don't get takeaway much. Rarely buy clothes.
Otherwise, I just keep finances straight forward and try to get to the end of the month in the black!
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx
Yep!
Bank online. Check accounts regularly. No budget. No debts. Not very big spenders. Our big expenses are a few hundred for weekends away up north a few times a year so we can cycle on relatively flat terrain.
No budget ... but I do have a list of expenses and how frequently they are due for reference purposes.Machka like your categories too. Must have been channeling you. Found MSAccess on my laptop and the Personal Account Ledger template complete with categories for income and expenses. Started entering 2023 income/expenses for tracking or figured out how to set budgeted amounts and reduce as expenses entered, but it feels good to play in a database again after all these years. Will use my “actual” spreadsheet to come up with budget estimates for 2023 and plop them into the db.
Barbara
Excellent!
Machka in Oz
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Ginny Love the penguin! A 3D butterfly is still on my bucket list. I want it on my shoulder. Unfortunately, DH is TOTALLY against it.
After dealing with my MIL's estate, my DH and I just about have everything TOD set. This avoids lawyers and estates. Part of my plan for 2023 is to make sure that is all in order. We do need to discuss what happens if something happens to both of us....
Finances.....we are both on each other's accounts. We have split the expenses. I do all of the financing since he can't really see it well. Again, I need to get accounts, passwords, etc written in a secure location. I also need to write down medical stuffs. If something were to happen to me first, I want to make sure I set for success the person who will have to help him out. I like list of expenditures better than budget. Just wording really, but if I can pay off credit cards each month and put something into savings I am happy. Since I put a price limit on birthday and Christmas gifts for all the kids, that will be put in savings incrementally, so that it isn't a hit in December.
I haven't gotten on the scale in awhile. Will need to do that soon for the end/beginning of the year.
I am grateful for all of you ladies! Your support is priceless! Your advice wonderful! I love that I am learning so much about different lifestyles, life situations, foods, and countries.
Much love,
Kylia in Ohio where the weather is spring like today4 -
good morning all! Happy Thursday!
Ginny- Love the tattoo! Did you all get penguins? I got my first (and so far, only) tattoo when I turned 50. It was a gift from my DYS. On the nape of my neck. "Carpe Diem" in pretty script.
Margaret- Oh my! Those white poinsettias are stunning! Due to all of the babies running around my house and yard, I don't get poinsettias anymore. But I think they are beautiful! And the rosemary "tree"! I see another behind the one in the foreground of the pic! I bet it smells amazing there!
Machka- I read and saved the article "50 things to do before...." I currently have a paper beside me with that written at the top. I will make my list during my week off, next week. Not sure why that never occurred to me. I love lists. I might get more of the "want to dos" accomplished if I have them on a tangible list! Thank you!
Beautiful pic of you and your DH. Your nose has healed wonderfully!
Kim- LOL! So...your mom's giving you the booty call?
Heather- OUt of my three children, my daughter was the one with the most drive and ambition (and follow-through). It was a wild ride from one activity to the next. I have kept a few of my old calendar/agendas and each day is full of activities that she was involved in, that I needed to keep track of. But what a wonderfully strong, self sufficient person she became. Very proud of that. I am sure Edie will give them a fun ride to adulthood!
Terri- Other than a mortgage on the house, my parents were never in debt. We just had a large family and with my dad the only one bringing in an income, we never had spending money. My parents also never talked to us about money and finances. My DH's parents were the same, although they were a bit more flush with money. So...DH and I have quite a bit of debt. It is strange that it has taken two incomes to keep our heads above water and make a little headway on debt payment. Our kids are doing much better because of our struggles, though. I guess that is the upside to this story. lol
Ah well, two more days of work, then I am off to Texas. I will do laundry and pack tonight. Then maybe have time to relax tomorrow night. Pretty sure I won't get much sleep Friday night, because my flight on Saturday is very early a.m.. My brain will be afraid I will oversleep. I see it now. Well, I better scoot! ttfn xoxoxo KJ (Kelly)6 -
If you're interested in the Action for Happiness Calendar ...
Do Good December
This month, we're encouraging you to carry out small acts of kindness.
Or we could post something we're thankful for, or happy about, related to the holiday season.
December 1 - I love the Christmas music. Come December 1, that's almost all I play. Christmas music or classical music (when I have to think at work or when we're in the car).
December 2 - Christmas decorations! We're lagging behind a bit because I usually like to decorate on December 1. But we got the decorations upstairs on Dec 2. Today I'll rearrange furniture and make a start.
December 3 - Summer. My favourite season. And we are finally having a few days of decent weather after a very wild and woolly spring. That's not saying the good weather will last (thanks La Nina) but there should be more of it.
December 4 - Memories. So many of the Christmas songs and traditions remind me of my parents and grandparents and happy Christmases with them.
December 5 - Christmas Displays. I like how many of the shops have Christmas Displays, and some are quite detailed and intricate.
December 6 - Greetings. People smiling and wishing each other Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays.
December 7 - Shortbread. So much delicious shortbread!
December 8 - Family. Christmas seems to bring us together a bit more.
December 8 - Trees. All over the world, millions of people are putting up trees in their houses and work places and decorating them.
December 9 - Sparkly Things. I love how everything becomes sparkly at this time of year.
December 10 - Yummy Things. Mince tarts and cookies. Fudge. Special Chocolates. All sorts of nibbles that only come out at this time of year.
December 11 - Colours. Reds and greens and a few other combinations out everywhere.
December 12 - Christmas Stories. Twas the Night Before Christmas. A Christmas Carol. Jesus Birth.
December 13 - Wrapping things up, and I don't just mean presents.
December 14 - The Christmas songs I know by heart. I sang them to myself during my surgery to help keep me calm and focusing on something else.
December 15 - Rest. Except for one Christmas, I think I have had a holiday time over every other Christmas. Today I'm on enforced rest.
December 16 - Comfort. Christmas is usually a comfortable time of year for me. In Canada it was about going out in the cold to shop or ski and then coming home and curling up in warm, cozy clothes. Here it's about spending time in the warm sunshine, at the beach, in the garden or right now, looking at the lovely outside from inside.
December 17 - Joy. Christmas has usually been a joyful time for me ... probably mainly to do with being able to take a break.
December 18 - Pretty. It's such a pretty time of year and people seem to go to lengths to make everything pretty.
December 19 - Movies. Last night we watched 2 Christmas movies. I get a kick out of them and can just relax and enjoy them. I've got 3 of the ones on the Bingo card below.
December 20 - Home ... or away. Either way, Christmas is a time to be somewhere I feel comfortable.
December 21 - Fun. I usually relax a bit more around Christmas and make a point of doing things for fun!
December 22 - Exercise. Christmas has usually been a time when I get extra exercise! In Canada, I was out skiing and snowshoeing. Here I'm usually out cycling, running and walking.
Unfortunately, I'm not as active this Christmas. But I'm pushing for a bicycle ride this weekend.
December 23 - Health. Christmas is usually a time to regroup and regain my health through sleep, exercise, and eating better.
December 24 - Love.
December 25 - Jesus' birth.
December 26 - Silent Night. It's quieter here than usual.
December 27 - These in between days when there's nothing much to do.
December 28 - Gardening
December 28 - Warmth and sunshine
Just saw your post, Barbara ...Aha, finally found a December daily gratitude calendar.
https://www.spacewiseorganizing.com/december-gratitude-challenge/
“This time of year, there’s a lot of pressure to think about what we want instead of what we have. Every day for the month of December, celebrate what you’re grateful for corresponding to the theme of the day. Snap a photo or update your status on IG or FB with #spaceforgratitude”
1 What is something that makes you laugh? Rhody! We're so very glad we got our little COVID Cat!
2 Something about the current season you’re grateful for. Rest. There will be a lot of rest over Christmas.
3 What about your body do you love/are you grateful for? I like my nose and want to keep it. But my official answer will be legs - for transport (walking) and recreation (cycling).
4 Who is someone in your life that you’re grateful for? I've said husband and parents last month, and that's true, but this month I'll say ... my manager. She has been supportive and encouraging regarding my input into my job.
5 What is a book that changed your life? The Bible. With the Christmas season in mind, I'm reading the gospel of Luke now.
6 Think about something you’re good at. I think I'm good at planning and organisation.
7 What is a lesson you’re grateful you learned? To speak up. To say my piece.
When I was young, up till about 17-ish, I was quiet and shy. Then I went through a bolder phase from about 17 into my early 20s. Then the quiet shyness resumed for the most part until my husband's accident. And then the bold me reappeared!
Where I once guessed what people might be thinking and thought my answers, now I'm vocal and even told I'm quite blunt.
8 A basic need that has been met. Shelter. I'm very thankful for our particular shelter.
9 What are you most grateful for in the city/town where you live? The proximity to both mountains and beaches.
10 What rejection in your life are you most grateful for? Oh that's an interesting question. Either there haven't been many or I don't remember them but I'm drawing a blank. Although ... about 18 months or so ago, I didn't get a job I was going for and thought I wanted. I think I prefer the one I have now. I think it is providing me with more opportunities for experience and learning.
11 Something you use every day. A coffee cup to hold my morning coffee.
12 Something you don’t need anymore. What don't I need anymore? Perhaps some of the time consuming traditions like writing the Christmas letter, doing Christmas cards, heaps of baking ...
And outside of Christmas, I'm making choices that work for me. Picking and choosing what I want to do ... and don't want to do. I'm grateful I can make a few more of those choices.
13 Refuge – space you love in your home - my chair. I bought a wing chair about a year or so ago and it's my spot.
14 Item of clothing - rain jacket. Because it appears that it isn't going to stop raining! Also comfy pjs.
15 Taste - I am grateful that I still have a sense of taste. That was one thing my husband lost with his brain injury.
16 Touch - I'm glad for my smooth, comfortable bed where I've been spending a lot of time.
17 Smell - Love the smell of our roses.
18 Sound - Thoroughly enjoying the sound of the Christmas music I play all day long.
19 Sight - I'm appreciating sight after spending the last 5 days without glasses!! I can wear my glasses for a little while now but have to take a break after even just a minute or so.
20 Texture - the smooth creamy texture of chocolates, the melt in the mouth texture of shortbread.
21 Color - All sorts of Christmas colours!!
22 A song that makes you happy. Jesus Loves Me.
23 Type of weather you love. Sunshine and warmth.
24 Professional who helps you. That would be my surgeon!
25 Something you take for granted. The love of my family. Not that I take them for granted but that I know they will always love me.
26 A TV show that you look forward to watching. Midsommer Murders. We'll start watching it again after the Christmas season. They'll play 150 reruns of it, so it's nice to take a break and watch Christmas movies and then we'll look forward to seeing it later.
27 A movie you watch over and over. A Christmas movie would be Scrooge with Alistair Sim.
But actually, I have a little collection of Christmas movies on DVD and I watch them every year.
A non-Christmas movie would likely be Princess Bride.
28 An opportunity you’re grateful you had. Ooo. Many of them! In the past year, the jobs I've had.
29 A place you love to visit. For the past nearly 5 years ... an area of northern Tasmania where the land is relatively flat and good for cycling.
I'd love to visit other places but of course we still can't leave Tasmania.30 A tool you find incredibly useful.
31 A daily habit you’re happy you’ve cultivated.
Machka in Oz
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