Finally Focused

jadedragneyez

Hi, F/40/220lb/5'2" My short term goal is to get to 160. I have been over 180 since senior year in highschool. I am really finally trying to lose fat after a long time of telling myself that it's just genetics and I am doing fine. I was never super active like in sports or anything but I walked for hours a day as a kid. As I got older I started walking less and less. Over time I became deconditioned and noticed that I had much more fat than muscle. My legs were always thick but firm yet after 30 I started seeing the "cottage cheese" on my thighs and buttocks. I don't have kids so I can't even blame my body changing on them

My biggest change is having a partner who was over 350lbs and lost over 150lbs before we met. He insisted on routine and doing daily walks. This structure was very helpful for me since I have ADHD and grew up with little structure and a lot of neglect.

My highest weight was 238 when we met. I got down to 220 just through walking then plateaued. I joined a weight loss challenge at a local gym and got down to 209 but got too busy to keep up with the program while going to college.

Recently my partner helped me realize that I needed to eat way less if I want to lose weight. I was always very stubborn about it in the past because I didn't want to starve myself too much and have some food insecurity issues. I was maintaining around 1800cal but 1600 felt too hard to maintain.

Proud of myself for changing my mindset overtime. He helped me see that I was reducing by looking at the deficit compared to what I was used to eating 2300-2500cal a day and the 1800cal. Now I am looking at my BMR which is anywhere from 1600-1900 depending on my activity level.

Currently I am intermittent fasting in the evenings and my calorie goal is 1200/day. I find myself eating between 800-1300 cal per day sometimes a little more on weekends. But honestly for me this is a big win. Before I would have thought that this amount is too small and start to worry (food insecurity) about damaging myself. Now I just remind myself that my body isn't going to starve, it is just going to pull from my fat stores and I have plenty of that.

Anyway, I am a woman and I tend to lose weight slowly but I am happy and hopefull that I will make progress over time. When I start my last quarter of school I will also have more time to workout because I will have less coursework to do on top of my internship.

TLDR: All of this to say I think I am finally in a place to lose weight after years of mental shifts and being forced into predictable routines and eating at the same time everyday. I'm excited!