Do you leash your kid?

Mobilemuscle

anro86

I never used a leash with my now 7 year old daughter. I am a bit overprotective (admittedly) so she is practically always holding my hand or in my eyesight. I do understand how the leashing thing can appear weird to us parents, I sort of unconsciously do I double take when I see it in public. But if it helps to keep the child safe in a very crowed place, its fine by me. I think there are a MILLION worse things a parent could do to their kids. I think most of us parents are really just trying to do the best we can.

jmjones66

I thought the same things until I had twins. Now I WISH I had baby leashes so I could take them out when I'm by myself without strapping them in a stroller. Honestly, I'd much rather dirty looks from judgemental people than the loss of a child.

I thought the same thing until I had twins, as well! When you've got two little ones trying to go two different ways, and keeping them in the stroller is no longer an option, the leashes are a wonderful tool for teaching them to stay close. So, don't judge unless you have walked in my shoes!

neandermagnon

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^^^ the bit in bold.... exactly. You don't have kids. Looking after someone else's kids are not the same. And you may think your bf's girls are "crazy" but if they are 1-2 years old and understand when you explain to them why they should pay attention and act like ladies, then they must be child prodigies. Or perhaps they're not aged 1-2 years which is the age most kids are when parents use reins on them. Not understanding danger and being curious and wanting to explore, and not understanding their mother's explanation of why they should hold hands and walk nicely, is a normal part of toddler development. You're in for a rude shock when you have your own kids if you think your toddlers are just going to listen to you and understand the same way as a school age kid would. Maybe you'll be lucky and have really placid preschoolers, but there's no guarantee of that.

And I like that you've conveniently ignored all the points I've made about child safety, including the fact that attempting to restrain a child who dashes away from you by gripping their hand can result in their elbow dislocating. So your child is not on reins, they make a dash for the road, you're either going to grip their hand tight enough that they can't get away and risk damaging the joints in their arm, or you're not going to grip their hand tight enough and they'll dash away from you.... possibly right into the path of an oncoming car (toddlers have absolutely no sense of danger).

anyway, back to the bit in bold. You don't have kids of your own, even if you did, it doesn't mean that your kids are like other kids, and it doesn't give you the right to be so harshly judgemental of parents for what.... for using a piece of equipment that is for their child's safety. Are you like this about child car seats as well? You know, the ones that help protect kids if they're in a car accident? Because it's the same principle. I'm sure I can keep my kids sitting down nicely in the back of the car while I'm driving, but that's missing the point of what they're for. Reins are not for controlling a child's behaviour, you cannot control a child with reins, unless you want to drag your child along the floor on his or her back, which would be cruel and ridiculous. They're a safety precaution, you still have to teach your child to walk nicely and hold hands *while* using the reins. They're just there to stop them getting very far, should they make a dash for the road, as toddlers do tend to be unpredictable and very easily distracted....

I wouldn't compare kids on a leash to the car seats, completely different situations. People all over the world use the car seats in order to protect a child during driving, not just the possible car accidents. And not too many people, I hope, leash their kids, maybe it's common in England but not in other countries. Because yes, it's associated with animals, dogs. Humans are leashed when they need to be dominated or humiliated, often in a sexual way, therefore seeing it with kids is shocking.

I would understand that if living in England would be much more dangerous than living in any other country, and Englsh kids make it their priority to jump under a car, and there's no other way but putting them on a leash. But there is and parents all over the world do it somehow.

I would. A split second could take your child's life in either case. Just because one is more commonly used than the other makes no difference what. so. ever.

LOL @ sexual/humiliating LOL LOL LOL I've never heard anything so ridiculous in my life. On the subject of dogs though, why do people put dogs on a leash anyway? Because they care about their dog, they don't want their dog to get hit by a car or run of and get lost somewhere. So are you people who are saying it's wrong because dogs have them saying that you care more about the safety of dogs that the safety of toddlers, who tend to actually have less sense of danger than most dogs?

Also, as I've said repeatedly, you *cannot* dominate a child with the reins!!! They're not only not for controlling a child, it's actually not possible to use them for that purpose, unless you physically drag the child along the ground on their back or stomach, which isn't want anyone does with them. If you pull them back from danger, they fall down, so you'd only do that when they're actually in danger. It is far far far easier to strap a toddler in a stroller than walk them along the road, with or without reins. And you still have to focus your attention on the child, constantly, when using reins, because they can still walk in every direction. If you want to forget about your child as you walk down the road, a stroller is what you should use.

Also, re car accidents and other dangers..... of course those things don't happen in other countries *roll eyes* - there are people on this thread posting about all kinds of examples of small kids dashing off into danger, at least one example on this thread is a little girl who was killed instantly when she ran off into the road and was hit by a car. It's not my fault if parents from countries besides the UK haven't heard of anything to keep your kids safe from this until now, and when some of you do, you are all like *shock horror!!!* about it. Or perhaps parents from other countries keep kids in strollers until a much older age, which is not a better option than reins, because they're not learning to walk nicely and they're not getting any exercise while they're in a stroller.

My main motivation for using reins rather than a stroller (usually) to keep my kids safe going out and about when they were toddlers (I had a stroller as well, and could have used either, and did use the stroller e.g. if I was in a hurry and couldn't walk at toddler pace for the whole trip) was because I want my kids to have strong legs and to get used to walking at a young age so they don't become the kind of kids who whine if they have to walk anywhere. I knew if I left them in a stroller until they're old enough to get "walk next to me and hold my hand at all times, so you don't get hit by a car" the first time I told them, they'd be so accustomed to being pushed around anywhere that they'd whine constantly when they have to walk. So why not get them used to walking right from the start? I had them walking with me literally from when I bought them their first shoes, right after they learned to walk, aged 14 and 15 months. They no longer needed reins by the age of 3, because they were able to be trusted to walk next to me properly, and also that's when they developed a sense of danger and started to understand the danger from cars (it's individual when kids develop this sense of danger and IMO better safe than sorry). Prior to that they were on reins, which didn't make walking with them any easier, but they did ensure that should they make a dash for the traffic or any other danger, they wouldn't get far enough to get badly hurt or killed.

darrensurrey

Leashes are for animals

I resemble that statement!

roxylola

Really, if anyone who says they were humiliated by being leashed as a child, clearly you were old that enough that you should have known better and ought to have been trustworthy enough to hold hands. Clearly your parents did not feel they could trust you and maybe a little humiliation would encourage you to behave better. I know once I got to the age of about 3 I would have been trusted to hold hands but if not then I would have been restrained in a failsafe method ie reins and if I behave like a baby who can't be trusted then I would be treated as such.

As for taking pictures of other people's kids, um that is just wrong in so many ways and putting them on facebook is really terrible. If someone did that to my dogs without my consent I would go nuts, for a child I would have you in front of police!

Finally, dominance and the like!?! I think not, it is not dominant or sexual to leash my dogs (and anyone who thinks there is any place for dominance in dog training is seriously misguided) It is a method for keeping them safe which I am in control of not relying on their integrity and the same applies for children

Collier78

If used properly I am sure they are a great safety device. The problem I have with them, is any time I have SEEN them being used, the mother is typically not paying attention AT ALL to what the child on the other end is doing. My kids are 13, 7, and 6 months and I have never used one. I can understand if you have two little ones closer together, or one that likes to dart off. If you put one on them though, it isn't license to ignore them, which is what I usually see. Mom is on her phone, or talking to someone else and the child is doing the same thing a dog would do, tugging at it to see how far away from mom they can get, or if they can get their hands on anything in reach. I think when used properly it's a great safety device, but some use it as an excuse to not keep an eye on their child in a busy place.

kit_katty

I was on a leash as a small child, I had a tendency to wonder and take off and hide for the fun of it. I was never humiliated. I'd use them depending on the child. Some kids take off running with no warning and if using a leash will keep my child safe, then I see no problem with it.

blueboxgeek

I'm amazed at people saying they remember having their parents use reins on them. Maybe I just have a bad memory but I can't really remember being 1-3yrs old which is the age I think most people use reins.

If parents are using reins on 7-8 year olds then maybe that is a bit lazy and they can't be bothered trying to take the effort to teach them about road safety and such. But when a child is 2 / 3 yrs old, they don't really understand safety. Yes they may say that they have to hold hands and wait at the kerb, but they don't really understand the impact of being hit by a car.

I didn't use one when I just had one child, but I did use one on my older son when I had my second. I didn't drive at the time so was often pushing a newborn in the pram and carrying shopping bags. My older son was normally very good and held on to the pram handle but I just wasn't willing to take the risk that he wouldn't let go so I had a wrist strap that I strapped to my wrist. He was 2.5 when my younger son was born.

I know a few people who live in the USA and they don't do much walking really. Yes they walk around shopping malls, but their kids are either driven to school by the parent or they get a school bus. They don't tend to call to local newsagents or Tesco express type of shop for a couple of bags of shopping. The areas they live in are more spread out, they couldn't even walk to school because of the distance. So I guess if you are not going to be doing all that much walking near busy roads with young children I can see why you may never see the need for reins. Personally where I live the roads are busy and the pavements are not very wide and I just wasn't taking any risks with my kids life and sod what anyone else thought of that.

kenzietate

My parents never used a lease, I will not be using a lease for my kids. We were always required to stay very close or sit in the cart, we never had an issue with it. We also had to hold hands crossing the street or parking lot.

But my husband had a lease when he was a child but he loved using it. He liked to pretend he was like his dog. So I don't think in many cases the child minds one way or the other. I think it depends on the family and the goal of the family.

Leashing in and of itself is not bad or good. It is just one way some parents can keep their children safe.

StephLourenco

I used a monkey backpack with a leash as the tail for my daughter in large crowds. Fairs & theme parks and other places like that. She refused to be confined to a stroller and is the type that likes to explore. I used it because bad things can happen in the blink of an eye and I found comfort knowing she cant be plucked out of a crowd without me attached to her has nothing to do with being lazy its strictly for protection. I am still right there with her and for the most part she’s holding my hand. Its not like were leashing them up in the back yard lol. Parents will do anything to keep their children safe but we also want to let them explore and learn. The leash is a perfect compromise. My daughter used hers up till she was about 2 maybe 2 ½.

DamePiglet

If used properly I am sure they are a great safety device. The problem I have with them, is any time I have SEEN them being used, the mother is typically not paying attention AT ALL to what the child on the other end is doing. My kids are 13, 7, and 6 months and I have never used one. I can understand if you have two little ones closer together, or one that likes to dart off. If you put one on them though, it isn't license to ignore them, which is what I usually see. Mom is on her phone, or talking to someone else and the child is doing the same thing a dog would do, tugging at it to see how far away from mom they can get, or if they can get their hands on anything in reach. I think when used properly it's a great safety device, but some use it as an excuse to not keep an eye on their child in a busy place.

soooo off topic but...

Oh my.... don't get me started on parents who play with their phones and don't pay attention to their kids! I've had kids run into me (and once smashed right into my buggy - then fell down crying! not my fault in the least, but I surely don't like to see little ones hurt!)
Worse still, the inattentive parent usually fusses THE CHILD or makes some half-hearted attempt at correcting the kid.

Sometimes I wish it were legal to grab someone's phone and smash it to bits!

end rant.

CookNLift

i don't leash them.....I just beat them and shove soap in their mouths

darrensurrey

i don't leash them.....I just beat them and shove soap in their mouths

Dental hygiene is important as is resilience to pain!

jonnyman41

Had a reminder last week of why I used reins 20 plus years ago with my sons. I agreed to watch my brother's kids one day in a school holiday while their mum was at work and decided to take the 3 kids to the local cinemas. While there we had to walk a bit and the 8 year old girl was fine, the 5 year old boy ok but needed reminding not to run too far ahead but the 3 year old, whose hand I held, was constantly trying to pull out of my grip, not pleasant for either of us and he did manage to escape when I was trying to pay for the cinema tickets and take hold of 3 boxes of popcorn plus drinks. Fortunately I caught him but I could really see how reins would have helped given I had my hands full""""

Inner_Goddess

Yes, I have leashed my sons. I started using one when I was pregnant with my 3rd son and the size of a house. My other two were 2.5 and just one. It was necessary when I wasn't able to have the stroller. I was very active, but as I grew, running around wasn't an option. After the baby was born, I used one for the middle son until he was about 2.5. They aren't for everyone, but for me and the boys, they were a great option.

Alluminati

i don't leash them.....I just beat them and shove soap in their mouths

Dental hygiene is important as is resilience to pain!

:laugh:

Twinkielingus

I just lock mine in the closet

wolfcaroling

I can understand why some people use them - they are just trying to keep their kids safe - but as a dog trainer, I prefer to train for off-leash good behaviour! I have a post about how to teach your kid to walk off-leash if you folks want to share it with your leash-using acquiantanes :-)

http://howtotrainyourtoddler.com/2013/11/01/walking-off-leash/

pinkraynedropjacki

I can understand why some people use them - they are just trying to keep their kids safe - but as a dog trainer, I prefer to train for off-leash good behaviour! I have a post about how to teach your kid to walk off-leash if you folks want to share it with your leash-using acquiantanes :-)

http://howtotrainyourtoddler.com/2013/11/01/walking-off-leash/

:mad: Dogs + kids are DIFFERENT totally. Don't compare training a dog to training a child EVER :explode: