I am the woman in the freeweights section of the gym

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  • Turb2o
    Turb2o Posts: 82 Member
    First thing as a man whose being training for 20 plus I've noticed in the last two years more woman training in the strength room and same as the men some have good form some don't have a clue I help I'm asked but respect to the girls in gym and if a man looks your doing flip him off unless he's a powerlifter
  • keegan2149
    keegan2149 Posts: 65 Member
    Hauntinglyfit wrote: »
    socalrunner59 wrote: »
    I disagree with #4 & 5.

    Women should not expected to put up with stares, comments, etc for using a facility in which they are a paid member. Men do not check their common courtesy and civility at the gym door and subsquently treat everyone in the gym "like one of the guys." I've raised two boys into men. My youngest at 24 is a powerlifter and coach. More than once my son has intervened when some guys started harassing women and smaller guys.

    I myself had some guy walk up to the rack I was using and take my bar. I let him go to another rack with it; let him setup his weights, then walked over and took all the plates off and tossed them on the floor. I them walked my bar back and set it up. Then I walked up to him and told him if he ever touched a bar I was using again, I was going to take that bar and beat him with it. Never saw him in the gym again.

    Another time some guy threw a petite Asian woman off a bench. I confirmed she was in fact still using the bench and weights. Guy had walked back to the squat rack to yammer with some guys. I screamed across the room for him to get his crap off her bench and if I ever saw him throw anyone off a bench again he and I were going to step outside and dance with my tire iron. I told him if I couldn't take him down, a phone call would bring my sons and enough men to take him down. The entire gym full of people watched as he slunk over and took his stuff off the bench. Never saw him again at the gym either.

    Some other guy kept hitting on me. I told him in no uncertain terms to leave me alone. I was civil, but direct as is my way. He went to the manager to complain about me. Manager said she knew me very well and if he ever bothered me or any other woman in the gym, she'd cancel his membership.

    I extend civility to all who cross my path. But I will not stand for mistreatment from anyone.





    TIL "not standing for mistreatment" = threatening to beat people up with an iron bar

    Wow, I've been working out for years and I've never heard of anything like this happening even in high school. I agreed with what the OP said, but if I had witnessed any of this I definitely would have been on your side.
  • keegan2149
    keegan2149 Posts: 65 Member
    Sued0nim wrote: »
    keegan2149 wrote: »
    MoreBean13 wrote: »

    4. The men will look, and might even make comments. They're not necessarily creepers.
    Just accept it, you'll be a novelty and an anomaly. One of the things that happens in the weight room is everyone has downtime between sets, and people watch other people. Men watch other men, they watch women, women watch men- it just happens. It's one of the ways we learn while we're there. They're not necessarily judging you or undressing you, they're just killing time between sets and observing.

    Thanks for this! I can't count how many weird looks I've gotten from women who catch me looking at them. Most of the time I've exerted myself beyond my ability to think clearly and am looking for a distraction. Obviously, I don't stare if they're doing something provocative like dead-lifts. Either that or I'm learning something. Women pay much more attention to detail. A lot of times I'll catch a woman doing an exercise that I've forgotten about or just using better form than me. I think men concentrate on increasing weight. Most women who lift think about everything. Still I think a lot of women just assume that if you're watching them workout you're a creep. Even in a room full of mirrors!

    A close second is the look I get when I choose a treadmill directly behind an attractive woman. It's hard to find a treadmill that works and has a good angle on a TV with something interesting. If I find both I don't care who's in the row in front of me!

    TBH I'm generally completely oblivious to anybody around me when I'm mid set...it's only during rests or cardio that I notice other people

    I think you're right on the gender split on form though, I find myself deloading and working slow to correct minor perceived form issues or try something I've seen on video ...stupid thing is once I deload, eg yesterday I was working squats at 60kg just to get greater ROM, I get this mental diatribe going about how people are judging me as a "pink weight" type cos female ...so I need to work on that stupidity ...jeez the things our minds do to us


    There's nothing wrong with a little ego, just don't let it get in the way. I do body weight squats as part of my warmup so I can practice my form. I just try to think about the science behind fitness. Everything else is *kitten*. Information is the only true path to success. I used to focus on lifting as much weight as possible, but now I give more attention to form. I also am more likely to pay attention to opposing muscle groups. For example I can lift as much with my triceps as I can with my biceps and I won't go up in weight until both muscle groups have improved. I see a lot of guys with asymmetric muscle growth from focusing on the cooler muscles. It can also lead to pain and eventual injury when you can't create the same amount of effort for both parts of a given motion.
  • fitBoomer1952
    fitBoomer1952 Posts: 12 Member
    1978 NYC McBurney Y, I was the only woman in the weight room. You kids (joking) look great and I'm proud of you all. Doesn't it feel great!! Still lifting and feeling great. Keep up the great work. You rock! Oh, use a trainer for the first few times to be sure you are doing it right AND to make you feel like you own the room!
  • hazcad
    hazcad Posts: 41 Member
    What a brilliant post.

    Although I don't do free weights I am pretty much the only regular woman at my gym who does use the weights even if it is just the machines. I thoroughly enjoy it and at times I do get looks, being a woman we always assume to worst and think it's negative but I'm sure it's not always the case.
    For injury reasons I cannot do free weights just yet but I most likely will have that "fear" when I do start free weights even if they are in the same section it's that invisible Barrier you mention but us women our tough we will get through it if it's what we want.
  • Rururiri
    Rururiri Posts: 31 Member
    edited September 2016
    kindrabbit wrote: »
    I am not sure if this thread is totally spot on or seriously over thinking things.

    I'm not sure why it is so scary and intimidating. What's to be scared of? We are all people. To those people who are scared of the free weights section - what do you think will happen?

    I am a 42 year old woman have been in the free weights section of the gym for the past 2 years. I have never had a serious problem with anyone else in the gym, male or female. One guy once asked me if I was going to put any weight on my bar (I took it as him being critical of the amount I was lifting) but I just informed him that I was just warming up and proceeded to kick my workouts butt! the next time I saw him he made sure to give me a smile and comment on my strength so I think he learned the lesson that you should never comment on the amount another person is lifting.

    The majority of the time I arrive, do my workout and leave. I work on reception at the gym and a lot of staff use the facility so I kind of know quite a few faces. I have had comments on my form (all good so far) and we chat about programmes and what works for them. I also chat with the women, I'll compliment them on their workouts etc or ask them what they do to get their arms or legs looking so good. As with any social situation some people want to chat and be friendly and some want to get their heads down and be invisible.

    I don't think I get watched any more than anyone else. Maybe I'm too old and ugly! I feel part of the free weights family and that includes men and women.

    Well, you might not be scared or intimidated going into the free weights section but a lot of us women are. I am included in it. I was terrified because in my head. People will judge my wrong form and think "I don't know what the hell i'm doing. Anyway, it took me a lot of self talk and researching about programs. How to do the exercise properly before I can get into the free weights area. Yes, I was still scared. Highly self conscious about people that will criticize my form. Now, my initial fear is gone. 3 1/2 years had passed and my fears are definitely gone. I learned that as a regular. I don't pay attention to people. Usually, I focus on myself in the mirror see if I'm doing a proper form.
  • ttippie2000
    ttippie2000 Posts: 412 Member
    I mind my own business. I don't give advice. I don't care if you know what you're doing or not. I'm off duty. I'll never comment one way or another on your appearance because I simply don't care what you look like. If you come up and specifically ask for advice I will probably direct you to my wife, a 5 time world champion powerlifter, or her training partner, a 6 time world record holder because they're simply the most qualified people in the room. If you're a regular I might smile and ask how your kids are doing or some other harmless friendly chit chat. Other than that I'll ignore you.
  • RainyDayBrunette
    RainyDayBrunette Posts: 59 Member
    Z_I_L_L_A wrote: »
    Go to the power lifting section not the social club gym. Power lifters love to see a woman get strong. We treat em as part of the team. My female friend got up to a 155 bench. I was so proud of her. If she sandbags in the weight room I'll let her know it just like I would a man. It took her a year to get there but she has respect in any gym now. It's earned not given. Don't go to the gym with a victim mentality. If you have that before you ever enter a gym it's on you not the gym members. Luckily we don't have those type of men or women in our gym.

    This is so awesome. Thanks for sharing!!
  • ericwhitt
    ericwhitt Posts: 87 Member
    edited October 2016
    I gotta say this isn't even necessarily a woman thing. Even as a guy who has very little free weight experience, I feel the same way. My high school didn't allow free weights due to liability, and then I joined Planet Fitness who had so little Free weights that there was never any space. Now I joined the new Anytime Fitness that just opened about 3 miles from my house and it's not too crowded. So now I'm this person at the gym right now. I mostly stick to cardio and the machines, but I'm trying to mix in some free weights into my routine slowly so I learn proper form and not overdo it.

    Oh forgot one point, I often find myself staring off into space a lot while I recover between sets. I don't think I'm the only guy who does this, but I have definitely gotten some stares from girls thinking I was perving out. Just remember, just because someone's staring towards you doesn't necessarily mean they are staring at you. You might have walked into my field of view and I don't even know you are there. The worst thing is I find myself having to look away from where I was naturally just looking because a woman is now there and I don't want to feel like a creeper, where if it's a guy I don't bother.
  • Vanilla_Lattes
    Vanilla_Lattes Posts: 251 Member
    Once upon a time I was afraid to do the weight section.. then I realized everyone over there was just a huge nerd like me and I got over it.
  • Michael190lbs
    Michael190lbs Posts: 1,510 Member
    edited December 2016
    The Truth is "YOU" (male or female) bring into the gym all your own fears and for some reason think anyone there gives a crap? I must be Lucky we have lots of fit woman in our gym and the owner is a Miss Olympia so some very fit ones.. I never thought once of them as anything but another member. I go to the gym to Train that is it..


    To the person who said sexual harassment or mean comments call the police?? Please don't there are much more pressing matters to deal with in the day then someones feelings getting hurt tell the management of the gym.. If your assaulted then yes file your complaint but be prepared to follow through with the complaint the police are just the first step..
  • LazyButHealthy
    LazyButHealthy Posts: 257 Member
    edited March 2017
    VelveteenArabian wrote: »
    Whenever some dude drops the weights really abruptly (and almost always needlessly) does anyone else want to call them an attention *kitten*? Maybe it's just me.

    All the time.

    Our free weights section (where i have never gone) is small, and populated by men. I've never seen a woman there.
    Most of them seem alright, and just focused on their work, but there are 2 gobshites that make so much bloody noise! I hear them over my music or tv show, and often get a fright with the banging and crashing.

    These are the same guys who don't seem to treat the equipment with respect - leave stuff all over the place, never tidy up for other people etc. Just attention hoors I think.


    Back on topic: I do plan to get to free weights at some stage, when I lose a bit of weight, but i don't want to only stick with cardio.
    So after a month at my gym on cardio only, I'm going to build in some strength training (they have a range of resistence machines, I would start with 3 sets of 15) and some weights machines (again they have a range).

    Does this sound like a reasonable step? It would be an hour or cardio, and 30-40 mins on the machines.
  • yatesy54321
    yatesy54321 Posts: 1 Member
    Great post, I’m always in the weights section, absolutely love it. My other half showed me the ropes and also get ideas off Instagram. I pay my membership so they are my weights as much as the guys
  • lsutigerscage
    lsutigerscage Posts: 26 Member
    Bump
  • Cerizez
    Cerizez Posts: 155 Member
    Thanks for the advice. Ordering the book now.

    Bump.
  • ElizabethKalmbach
    ElizabethKalmbach Posts: 1,416 Member
    I need to review... It's been 5 years since I read up, and I'm jerking the end of my leash to get back in there as soon as the doc lets me go. I feel so rusty, but so ready.
  • Fit_Chef_NE
    Fit_Chef_NE Posts: 110 Member
    This is all great, but no, I shouldn't have to expect that some dude is going to bother me. I have my headphones on. I'm here to workout. Leave me alone. Having breasts doesn't mean I have to smile at you and be an ornament. I will always be polite and friendly, but if you stare at me while I do squats and say something rude about me being female, I am not going to just "take it". I don't care if I am a novelty to the dudes in the gym. The gym is not a man-only zone that I am trespassing in. I pay just as much money every month, I should be allowed to work out in peace.

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