Mom encouraging me to be anorexic help

SunofaBeach14

Hmm she doesn't care about healthy. She likes skinny. I don't like to be stick thin. Also, she often says I shouldn't focus on my looks which are temporary and then she goes on to tell me I need the body of a supermodel. Ironic much?

Having lived in Asia for several years, I can say emphatically that Singapore isn't exactly an overweight city. I'm curious what stick thin means to you because I'm sure it means much thinner than stick thin does to my fellow Americans. You need to get out and establish your own life for your own sanity.

eelamme

I know it is hard to break yourself away from a parent but it might be the healthiest thing you can do for yourself. Sadly, your mom won't change...and no matter how desperately you wish you could help her, you can't. Focus on YOU and all else will fall into place. HUGS!

Graelwyn75

Keep the common sense you so clearly have. You have a toxic parent, who clearly has a lot of mental health issues, no offence. Do not allow her words to penetrate. It is her stuff, not yours. You know what is healthy, and what is right for you and it is your body, your life. I suggest simply walking away or turning away when she says these things, or making a stand and telling her you do not want to listen to this rubbish anymore and wish to take care of your body. Seriously, yes it hurts to have to turn away from a parent, but when a parent becomes damaging to you in this way, they really are not fulfilling their role as a parent anyway. Find yourself a decent set of friends in your life, get away as soon as you can, and create your own, positive and healthy family. Blood is not always thicker, imo.

PickleJuice9484

My mom is very similar to yours, and I get that you can't move out. When I was in college, I would only eat 300 calories per day and burn 2000 at the gym. it was bad. Then I gained 100lbs, then I lost 100lbs, gained half back...I've been all over the spectrum. Sure, at 5'1", you can eat a little less than others, but don't push it, especially if you're running! One summer i lost 20lbs by eating a daily 2000 calories per day because I was swimming.

About your mom....My mom is the same age, and I think they grew up during a time where dieting like that was the thing. They really didn't know much better. She's obsessed with being skinny and thinks i'll "never find a husband or a good job being heavy"...but that's ridiculous. (i have an awesome boyfriend who doesn't care if I gain or lose, as long as I'm happy and healthy) My family is also really old school, and I couldn't move out without being married unless I wanted to be disowned by my entire family...and even though I didn't get along with my mom, didn't mean I wanted to turn my family upside down.

It was really hard growing up like that...i remember my mom leaving the house and i would run to get food because i would get in trouble for eating. And i'm talking about when i was as young as 10 years old! I remember thinking i was SO fat in high school and I covered myself up with crazy sweaters and things like that, I wouldn't join sports teams because I was embarrasses...i didn't even want to go to prom because I thought I was the biggest one there...because my MOM told me so. Then I look at pictures and I was NOT heavy! I was 5'5" and 150!! because I wasn't THIN and petite, i was "fat". Oh boy, if I could only go back. ANYWAY.....do your best to keep your mom's silly words out of your head, and realize that you are just fine the way you are!! I met my boyfriend while i was heavy, and he's wonderful. I have an awesome job working with kids that WAY cooler than my mom's lame and unfulfilling job working for an insurance company! Don't slip back into the anorexia thing! Trust me, it messes with your body!! Find a good support system on here, find some other women who are healthy and eat the right amount of calories, and ask for help when you need it!