Do you think size affects someone's attractiveness?

BurntCoffee

^ THIS... my husband cheated, my exes cheated, my best friend cheats... most men cheat, period. They can't control temptation, tisk, tisk...

Completely and utterly false. Most men cheat? No mam... some, yes. But to go as far as to say most do because you, unfortunately, have had bad luck with men who cheat? That's like me saying that most women are nothing but gold-diggers looking for a bank account, rather than a good man. I know that's not true, so it's not even an issue. I do realize some men do cheat, but to lump most men into that category is really not fair, considering there are just as many women that cheat as there are men that cheat. This is not a one-way street. Unless someone has met EVERY single man on the planet, then there's no pretext to put a blanket statement over the majority of the male population.

No offense to you, of course. Just stating an opinion.

I agree with you. There are really wonderful men out there despite my own experience with my husband. Although, I do believe that once you are my age the good ones have been picked over. Not that it matters, I'm married still. Not even sure why anymore.

jasonmh630

^ THIS... my husband cheated, my exes cheated, my best friend cheats... most men cheat, period. They can't control temptation, tisk, tisk...

Completely and utterly false. Most men cheat? No mam... some, yes. But to go as far as to say most do because you, unfortunately, have had bad luck with men who cheat? That's like me saying that most women are nothing but gold-diggers looking for a bank account, rather than a good man. I know that's not true, so it's not even an issue. I do realize some men do cheat, but to lump most men into that category is really not fair, considering there are just as many women that cheat as there are men that cheat. This is not a one-way street. Unless someone has met EVERY single man on the planet, then there's no pretext to put a blanket statement over the majority of the male population.

No offense to you, of course. Just stating an opinion.

I agree with you. There are really wonderful men out there despite my own experience with my husband. Although, I do believe that once you are my age the good ones have been picked over. Not that it matters, I'm married still. Not even sure why anymore.

I can see your point of view. People just need to let things happen organically, instead of searching for someone that will fill that void. Trying to rush things (for lack of a better term) and whatnot is where most people (men and women) fall short of a meaningful, long lasting, faithful relationship.

DelilaLightfoot

Would it make it easier to accept or less damaging to self-esteem if the other women had been slim and beautiful? Cheating is cheating regardless of who it is with or what they look like. Saying that you know you are more attractive or "would have ranked higher" and then in a subsequent post "what makes men go for women worse than their partner" seems a little odd to me in light of the fact that the title of this thread is "do you think size affects someone's attractiveness" and the original post then states the other women were larger - it does seem that this is about size more than anything else. Perhaps you need to look at your own perception and outlook as beauty really is in the eye of the beholder. I'd recommend not focusing who he cheated with - whether she was fat, skinny, gorgeous or mean really has no impact on you, you can't change it or do anything about it and either way the end result is the same - he cheated. And if you are with someone new, who you are getting married to and secure with then what do those two guys matter anyway? You're the winner now.

moya_rargh

You're young. At your age, boys are idiots. It takes a long time for boys to turn into men and learn how to appreciate a good woman. Just give it time. It's not you, it's them.

Does it ever get better? Lol. My husband was in his 30's and still cheated. Some men just cheat. It doesn't necessarily get better with age.

^ THIS... my husband cheated, my exes cheated, my best friend cheats... most men cheat, period. They can't control temptation, tisk, tisk...

Gotta love sexist, ad hominem attacks...

BinaryPulsar

There are all different reasons why people cheat. Regardless of gender and age. And some people will cheat their whole lives, and probably have deeper issues than that. Other people maybe have a moment of weakness I would think.

But, if this has happened more than once, and you are feeling so mixed up and confused and worried, I think you should maybe work on that for yourself (maybe therapy). I really have no other advice. But, not all men cheat!!! There are great men out there! You can have a happy, successful, mature, enjoyable, long term relationship.

BinaryPulsar

Just to add to the drama here, I have been with women that thought I cheated and I didn't. If you ask them now, they swear up and down that I cheated. So, sometimes, it's all made up. And no, they didn't have good reason to think that. Just an active imagination.

Yeah, that can happen too. And I know people that have had men do that to them. There are many ways that relationships can be dysfunctional and abusive. Sometimes people that make the cheating accusations are themselves the ones that are cheating.

MagnumBurrito

You guys may want to read Sperm Wars. A biologist explains the evolutionary reasons behind cheating, faithfulness, *kitten*, homosexuality, and tons of other issues... it was very enlightening.

http://amzn.to/1o6g02h

khara2012

Yes! And it goes both ways...

splashtree2

I lost 1 guy to a girl with a full set of dentures at 22 and another to a girl with a missing front tooth.

I have nice, straight teeth but something was attractive enough about those girls that the men dropped me for them. I can't base my own worth on douche bags like that and I've went on about my life while those girls worry about their poligrip failing.

(However, I assume they could do tricks with their mouths that I couldn't so I have stepped up my head game)

it has something wrong the guy!!! hihihi anyway for me the being proportioned doesn't affect, big is ok fat nope!!!!

phinphanbill26

I've always been under the impression that size mattered. Am I wrong?

BurntCoffee

Just to add to the drama here, I have been with women that thought I cheated and I didn't. If you ask them now, they swear up and down that I cheated. So, sometimes, it's all made up. And no, they didn't have good reason to think that. Just an active imagination.

Yeah, that can happen too. And I know people that have had men do that to them. There are many ways that relationships can be dysfunctional and abusive. Sometimes people that make the cheating accusations are themselves the ones that are cheating.

That's soooo true. I have never cheated on my husband yet he is constantly reading my facebook, tracking my phone, reading my text messages. I think that's called "projecting" and is a form of deflecting from ones own bad behavior.

TavistockToad

That's soooo true. I have never cheated on my husband yet he is constantly reading my facebook, tracking my phone, reading my text messages. I think that's called "projecting" and is a form of deflecting from ones own bad behavior.

Yep!

Guns_N_Buns

I have been cheated on for a girl that resembled Harry Potter...except very chubby (apple shape) and bucked teeth who was a telemarketer or something. I worked in a couple of floors above as an executive and was more toned/defined back then...It definitely throws you for a loop as to why they would go for that, since it was generally HIM that said "no" or "i have a headache" to ME...

I think those doors closing are great, because then you learn a little bit more on what kind of door to open next -- and the opportunities are endless.

MityMax96

That's soooo true. I have never cheated on my husband yet he is constantly reading my facebook, tracking my phone, reading my text messages. I think that's called "projecting" and is a form of deflecting from ones own bad behavior.

I personally could care less...

If she wants to, go ahead

TavistockToad

That's soooo true. I have never cheated on my husband yet he is constantly reading my facebook, tracking my phone, reading my text messages. I think that's called "projecting" and is a form of deflecting from ones own bad behavior.

I personally could care less...

If she wants to, go ahead

What about your MFP account?!

BinaryPulsar

Just to add to the drama here, I have been with women that thought I cheated and I didn't. If you ask them now, they swear up and down that I cheated. So, sometimes, it's all made up. And no, they didn't have good reason to think that. Just an active imagination.

Yeah, that can happen too. And I know people that have had men do that to them. There are many ways that relationships can be dysfunctional and abusive. Sometimes people that make the cheating accusations are themselves the ones that are cheating.

That's soooo true. I have never cheated on my husband yet he is constantly reading my facebook, tracking my phone, reading my text messages. I think that's called "projecting" and is a form of deflecting from ones own bad behavior.

I don't think that is it. That's what everyone says, but I think it's more complicated than that. It's not that simple.

It can be many different things. Relationships are complex in nature and have many complicated pieces to them, and multiple themes running at all times. Maybe you told him one time about how you cheated on your HS boyfriend. Now, in the back of his mind, forever, he thinks you have that ability. Maybe all his friends say you're hot, and it pisses him off, even though he doesn't tell them to shut up, in the back of his mind, he knows other guys must think that too, so when you're not in his sight, he worries. There are many reasons. Mainly, it's an insecurity of some sort somewhere in the chain of either your relationship, or his past, or some combo of both. A good partner can do a lot to 1) not feed it, and 2) constantly reinforce that it aint ever gonna happen. It takes time and lots and lots of patience, and I believe even in difficult relationships, trust can be rebuilt. But, it takes tons of time and work.

I agree that it's more complicated than that. Having reactionary accusations back isn't really the answer. Maybe he grew up in a dysfunctional home with cheating, and counseling could help. However, I am just saying that sometimes I have seen this sort of behavior go hand in hand with other domestic abuse. Sometimes. Not all the time.

RHachicho

I would just like to say I do not really like how some people in this topic have treated the OP.

For a start your kind of reactionary anti discrimination zeal is actually counterproductive. Everyone has the right to not be attracted to fat people. Or to Asian people. Or black people. Or blondes. Or people with brown eyes. Attraction is a matter of Aesthetics and some have treated the OP like she is some kind of racist for stating rather mildly i might say that fit healthy people are usually considered more attractive than fat people. Which is true. I am sorry but it IS. If it wasn't the subscriber base of mfp would probably drop by at least half. Nor would fat people generally feel nearly as self conscious as they do. It's nice how you want to pretend how everyone looks at each other like a special little sunflower and. But when you use that to rip on someone it becomes a juvenile delusion at best. An excuse for revenge bullying at worst.

Seriously people who really discriminate and victimize against fat people in this world don't hide they really don't they stop and heckle you in the street. And no one cares. Someone like this who merely has a perfectly understandable opinion does not deserve your hate even if by poor choice of words she has made herself a lightning rod to it. It's easy enough to do.