Maybe this is an unpopular opinion but...

FearAnLoathing

Well I'm not on the bandwagon with this. Sorry.

You would not bring drugs around a drug addict or alcohol around an alcoholic

I would definatly bring drugs around a drug addict and alcohal around an alcholic,beacuse compleatly staying away from something isnt being strong being strong is being able to be around something and stay away from it.It would be tough love on my part.Its not about respect or caring its about being able to make the right choices for yourself.Having been on drugs for a good chunk of my life if someone wants to get high in front of me thats fine.I know im strong enough to resist it. I didnt quit drugs by staying away from it,I quit by chosing not to do it.Drugs food alchoal are everywhere the real power resides in you!Only you can change your life and not just sweep things under the rug to hide them or expect others to do it for you

fitnesspirateninja

i, however, do not like your comparison of eating meat in front of a vegetarian/vegan to eating tempting foods in front of someone on a calorie budget. vegetarians/vegans (for the most part and in my experience) make that choice because of their views about animals and the environment. throwing (not literally) meat in front of someone who doesn't eat it isn't tempting, it's just rude and disrespectful. people have calorie restrictions because they are unhappy with their weight and it doesn't have anything to do with their beliefs and values (like vegetarianism/veganism). SOOO i hope i'm making my point in saying that the two are not the same.

Well, what do you consider to be "throwing meat in front of someone" to be? Because I definitely wouldn't consider my example of simply bringing meat home for myself to be forcing it on anyone else. I would, however, consider a vegetarian who was getting mad at me for that to be forcing his/her beliefs on me, which is in itself quite disrespectful and rude.

i agree with you that it would be disrespectful and rude for a vegetarian/vegan to impose their beliefs on someone that didn't agree. i hate nothing more than someone who preaches to me!

i suppose i wasn't clear enough on my argument. i was just trying to say that the two examples aren't very similar because the reasoning behind the choices-vegetarianism and dieting- are totally different.

I'm just going to chime in here that my mother happens to be a vegan and its not becuase she has any problem with killing animals for food. She loves red meat, and chicken, and fish and chocolate. The reason she feels the need to abstain is because she is worried about health since so many animal products have extra hormones in them. Even now when you go into the supermarket to buy some salmon you don't know if you are buying natural salmon or salmon that was grown in a laboratory. Pretty scary stuff. But she doesn't get mad at the rest of us for having the occasional steak, no matter how badly she wants a bite.

This is interesting to me. I think everyone needs to do what is right for them, but I don't fully understand the concept of going vegan to avoid hormones. Aren't there plenty of meat and dairy options without hormones? Do I just live in a hippie bubble?

Local health food stores carry hormone and cruelty-free, grass-and-vegetarian fed meat and dairy products as well as wild-caught seafood. I live in an agricultural community and there are a lot of options for people who are worried about how their food was grown...if they're willing to pay more. Grass-fed beef is $250 for 25 pounds of beef. Is it cost that your mom is worried about?

thankyou4thevenom

It may all be about you being strong enough to resist but my resistance can often be worn down by family constantly going 'one cupcake/glass of wine/slice of toast isn't going to kill you'.
Every single freaking day.
It's makes it five times as hard to not chose the bad choice if you're having it constantly waved at you.

It's different from just having it in the house. That's a matter of willpower, however it rarely is just in the house in my experience.

halobender

i, however, do not like your comparison of eating meat in front of a vegetarian/vegan to eating tempting foods in front of someone on a calorie budget. vegetarians/vegans (for the most part and in my experience) make that choice because of their views about animals and the environment. throwing (not literally) meat in front of someone who doesn't eat it isn't tempting, it's just rude and disrespectful. people have calorie restrictions because they are unhappy with their weight and it doesn't have anything to do with their beliefs and values (like vegetarianism/veganism). SOOO i hope i'm making my point in saying that the two are not the same.

I find it rude and disrespectful for people to suggest that I shouldn't be allowed to eat meat because someone else disagrees with it. Especially in a home which I'm paying to live in ... It actually resulted in quite an argument with my last roommate—he attempted to tell me that it was unnatural and wrong to eat meat and I beat him down with arguments, coming out on top in our debate (as he and I saw it, anyway).

Point being, this would obviously only be in a roommate type of situation, because anyone whom you are in a relationship with is going to understand the way in which you eat and either agree or respect it bu—oh, wait, maybe that's not quite the case, is it? Regardless, I think that in terms of vegetarianism this is the case; and I don't think that roommates have the right to ask you in any way to alter your diet for them.

Maybe I can understand and respect others' choices for themselves a bit more as a former smoker.

You would not bring drugs around a drug addict or alcohol around an alcoholic so why would someone that cares about you and your health bring your triggers around you when you are trying to make a change. Food addiction is a disease that people battle everyday.

I think "food addiction" is a cop out. Well, I think that a bit of drug addiction and alcoholism, too, to a degree. I personally don't believe in an inability to control one's self around something ... just a lack of will power. That said, I wouldn't do coke around a former base-head (not that I would in the first place), but I'd smoke pot—medicinally, mind you—or have a mixed drink in front of them.

But your situation in particular is more about the health of your children than anything else. I don't plan on having a bunch of snack foods around the house because I want my kids to grow up healthier than I did. But if you're not tempted by it then your circumstances are entirely different than what the OP means.

I feel your loved ones should accept and respect your wishes, especially in terms of diet, whatever they may be—so long as the choices you make aren't life-threatening ones. I was under the impression that most people realize nowadays that you can't go into a relationship expecting the person to change for you. (But I'm not a woman.)

If it changes your level of attraction to them, though, that's something else, too, and you could mention it to them and it might be a catalyst for splitting up, who knows.

Furthermore, for anyone who disagrees with the OP, if any time you see it as someone tempting you, or anyone else, or being disrespectful because they're living their lives in front of you, perhaps you need to reassess what respect is and ask yourself if you're being respectful by asking them to change to make your life easier. I know it wouldn't make my life easy if I was expected to not cook meat in my own home or not to ever have pizza or chocolate.

That would be grounds for immediate dismissal. (And in the history of all my previous houses, thankfully, has resulted in the dismissal of roommates.)

FearAnLoathing

It may all be about you being strong enough to resist but my resistance can often be worn down by family constantly going 'one cupcake/glass of wine/slice of toast isn't going to kill you'.
Every single freaking day.
It's makes it five times as hard to not chose the bad choice if you're having it constantly waved at you.

It's different from just having it in the house. That's a matter of willpower, however it rarely is just in the house in my experience.

Now when they are trying to force it on you thats a diffrent story.If someone is constantly trying to shove something down your throat thats totally diffrent than just knowing there are chocolat chip cookies in the house or black forest cake.That does come down to respect.If they know you are trying to lose wieght eat healthy and they still put pressure on you to eat things you cant thats messed up.

My point was I shouldnt ban something from my house because I cant eat it,or drink it and it does not make my family uncaring disrespectfull or un supportave for bringing it the house.It would be a whole diffrent matter if they were hounding me to eat it.

MsFitnFabulous

I'd have to say motives would be the deciding factor. Yes its wrong to "punish" the people in our lives who arent overweight. However, on the flip side, if you want the people in your life to avoid things like heart disease, high blood pressure, diabetes, etc you should step in. I don't want my nieces or nephew to ever know what its like to be fat. I want to educate them so they make better choices. And for the record I'm a meat eater who loves God. What I eat doesn't matter!

TracieJ65

Agree 100% and while it is nice to have the support, or the kudos sometimes, this is my decision and I am the only one that can do it! I do all of the grocery shopping and I still buy all of the same things that I always have. There are still cookies, crackers, candy, chips, or whatever, that they like and the then the things for me. While my husband could probably stand to lose 10ish pounds he already has lost some just because of the different way that I cook now. My children are all of healthy weight but I find are trying to grab "MY" things more often than not. My husband has a sweet tooth and doesn't get home until the middle of the night, (bar manager), and I feel that since he enjoys the newer healthier way that I cook he deserves to still have his "sweets" that he enjoys when he comes home. I have also always used it as a challenge to stay away from these things. I can honestly say I have no urge dor the cookies, muffins, candy bars, crackers, fat laden chips, and other things that I keep specifically for them. I am fine grabbing my 100 calorie treats, rice cakes, low calorie crackers, and other things I keep specifically for me.

EDBENAGLIO

so what do you do if you have kids and your partner still eats tons of bad stuff. what do you teach the kids.

omgitsgarry

I agree. I live with my parents who are just as big as I am. They admire my dedication, but have expressed that they aren't going to diet along with me. I'm fine with that. When they have ice cream, popcorn loaded with butter, or fattening chips, I just refrain from it. They don't shove it in my face and force me to eat it. Of course, they ask if I would like some, but I just nicely tell them I didn't budget for it. In order for you to keep the weight off, you are going to have to accept the fact that people around you aren't going to diet along with you. Also, nobody is forcing you to eat what they bring in the house. If they do try to make you, it's easy just to tell them to back off. Plain and simple. You're weight loss is dependent on you and how much willpower you have. If you can't do it, it's not anyone's fault, but your own. Part of my problem was I blamed other people, when really, I was the one over stuffing myself.

CarolHudson11

I agree completely! I guess I'm just lucky. I am a single mom who buys the same things I've always purchased at the store. Along with, now, some of the "better" things. My son finds that he now likes brown rice better than white, that he loves salmon and other fish, chicken (of course), and he hasn't missed the red meat that I don't buy anymore. I always give him the choice and he chooses as he sees fit. But, I bought him a snack-pack of Oreos today, and I bought one for myself, as well. We both ate our cookies and had a good time just hanging out. I didn't go over my calories because I budgeted it in. If I want chocolate cake for breakfast, I'm going to eat it. But, I'm not tempted just because it's there. Every once in a while I want something like that and will usually have to go out and buy it because it's not already in the house. I won't live with guilt. I eat what I want, I exercise, and I don't get mad at anyone else for what they eat. Portion control and self control are good things.