SBF 2, Boogaloo, March 28

yoginimary

Morning folks!

Today I teach 54 sun salutations. I've worked on this class alot, but most of the time was spent finding a good playlist. It's heavily 80s music, but that is what we already had. I guess I could have asked here for some suggestions, too late now.
Also have class tonight. Teacher is back from a long workshop, it will be a great class. I'm thinking about riding my bike to class as well. We had a great cool front come in so it's really lovely outside.

54, boogaloo.

lotusfromthemud

A quick "intentions" check in:

today: dance class (a bit woozy today, but not too bad. intention is to stand towards the back and take it a bit easy. this is hard. I will not taunt happy fun body. )

three more work sessions. writing, and excited about it. this is good. I also need to look up the "rules and regs for how the bibs/citations and margins, etcs are supposed to look" less excited about this. In a perfect world, I could hand-scrawl everything, and hire somebody to do this part. Unfortunately, I am not as of yet empress. Also, I have to do a marking/organization session. So, one writing and two slightly less fun work sessions. Glamour!

Water, my supplements (I'm finding if I forget to take something, I notice. I think I'm in delicate balance territory right now) and a trip to the accupuncturist. I'm wondering if the lingering sinus mystery is contributing to the taste weirdness, or if it's just the med. I go back to the neurologist Weds, so I'll ask her. Can't wait until I get to go to the new (improved, I hope) GP. There's just a weird, semi-gunky taste right now. Not to get too gross, but it tastes, um. . .drainy.:noway: Maybe that's positive? Better out than in? I'm thinking of getting out my neti pot, but I hate that thing. Feels like drowning. Ugh.

Gunky, boogaloo.:flowerforyou:

mechanicmom

Mary, enjoy the weather! It was cold cold yesterday at 50 and cloudy. Today is suppose to be sunny and 65. :glasses:

V, I have a question about acupuncture...I think. There seems to be a correlation between my left eyelid twitching, and one of my left toes twitching/spasming. Could acupuncture fix this?

I am getting a late start this morning. Alex slept in and I used that time for quiet time. So it's almost 9am and breakfast has not been eaten nor dishes done. But that's okay. I needed that time.
My goals for the day consist of: dropping stuff off at good will (why do I dislike this so much? It's not hard!), cleaning house, laundry, taking clothes to a friend, taking Alex to tumbling class, and then possibly go to Alex's friend's baseball game tonight.(go have fun with friends or start preparing for trip? It's a hard decision.)
We are still lacking excitement, but I am learning that doing things in faith does not always mean the feelings will be there. Feelings are fleeting. I think the excitement will come, I just don't know when. Still no lady time. Trying not to get irritated about it.
Oh and I hope to have time to do a week 2 day something of C25K today as well. :happy:

Hard boogaloo.
MM

lotusfromthemud

MM,

If you can find a good acupuncturist, (I can talk to my lady about certification and boards for recs in your area if you're curious. She essentially went to medical school in China and has good credentials, I just sort of lucked into her.) twitches and such are diagnostic. I know when my right eyelid twitches (it doesn't twitch so much as slowly open and close involuntarily, it's really strange) she uses this as a sign to needle points that are connected to my liver.

So, um, maybe. . .I think there are (just like everything else in the realm of medicine) some charlatans around. So, you'd want to find someone who had good training and credentials, but I'm a pretty big believer that it nudges your body into doing some pretty serious stuff.

lotusfromthemud

Behold! I am the queen of all the thread hogs.:laugh:

Re-read my stuff from yesterday and it was too whiney. Intention for today: less complaining. Up early to go teach my last (what? how?) class session of the school year, and then walk home for the activity of the day. (from the subway) I discovered yesterday that my physio place has a yoga class on Tuesdays, so I'm trying to get in touch with the teacher to see if she's cool with my current limitations.

Also, I'm aiming to get two work sessions in. Yesterday was not as productive as I'd hoped for in that department (distractions, more marking/planning than I thought taking up more time). I am working on recognizing that all progress is good progress. This may be the challenge of the week.

Also, water, food choices of a positive (or at least portion controlled) nature and remembering some extra rest to cure whatever this sinus thing is. On today's schedule: sneezing.

Achoo, boogaloo.:flowerforyou:

mechanicmom

V, you can hog the threads as much as you want (and that goes for everyone else too!). I love reading everyone's posts! Hope your sinuses calm down today! And thanks for the acupuncture advice. Not sure if I'll go. I will see if the thyroid change helps any. If not then I think I will have to see about it.

I did not get a work out done yesterday. I've gone into that "chicken with its head cut off" mode. Not a productive one. I did get some cleaning done, but avoided most everything if possible. Oh and made a lot of phone calls and planning.
Today is a busy one. Horse therapy, prayer meeting, lunch with a friend, errands, more phone calls and planning. I really probably should work out but I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed with that needs to be done for the trip. I'll see what I can do.
My lady time has yet to arrive, but I am hurting so that's a sign it's coming. Trying not to worry and get upset about it. What can I do? It's out of my control. The nerves have also kicked in. Must focus on what is before me. I'm a little nervous about lunch too because this is the first time she and I have been out to lunch with out our spouses, who monopolize the conversation. Who knows if we have anything to say?:laugh:

Getting out of my comfort zone boogaloo!
MM

yoginimary

My schedule includes coughing. The cats are shedding right now (equinox triggered, maybe?), and I feel cat hair in the back of my throat.

I'm subbing two classes today, and I'm going to get a walk in this morning. I, somewhat foolishly, signed up to sub tonight's class, which I though was from 5:30-6:30, but it's an hour later. I wish I hadn't - or at least waited to see if someone else would do it. I also volunteered to do it twice next month, but they are trying to hire a new teacher - hopefully they will by then.

There was a presentation this weekend on "Yoga and body image" - mostly about how yoga can help people with eating disorders. The presenter brought a book called "Thin" that showed some pictures. One woman looked about 65 - she was 35. Scary stuff. I notice when I watch tv (especially commercials), I feel worse about myself - interesting, right?

Foolish, boogaloo.

lotusfromthemud

Morning, pebbs,

Today is my first follow up with the neurologist. Then I'm taking a book and a notebook to a coffeehouse for a few low tech/low pressure hours of studying hours before another appointment. Then, home for more dristan. Since it made me feel better, I'm diagnosing myself with a sinus something or other and prescribing rest.

I turned in my stuff yesterday and felt. . .nothing. I'm pondering why this is. I think maybe I'm suffering from some process beat down or burnout. It was also very hard yesterday to not spiral down into discounting the achievement. Rather than think "woo-hoo, I did it" I instead thought about all the negative feelings along the way, and how long it took, and how behind I feel and how anxious I am about the timeline of stuff coming up. Consequently, I almost ate a pint of ice cream for dinner yesterday. Really? After accomplishing something major I feel bad about myself? Wow, what a piece of work. Good thing therapy is today.:laugh:

Meanwhile, intentions for the day are to walk from one head doctor to the next, be extremely gentle with myself and focus forward.

Charge! (?) boogaloo.:flowerforyou:

mechanicmom

Good morning. :yawn:

V, I think I can understand your feelings when you dropped off your stuff yesterday. You have been working on this so long and it has been a goal to accomplish. Now that it's done (and even though you still have other things to finish), you have completed a goal and that can kind of leave a let down feeling. In a way I can kind of relate it to our adoption. We have been working so hard on completing this, and once we get a girl home, yes will will be happy but that goal will be complete. I will be very busy, so I may not think about it much, but Steve will need another goal to work towards when this one is finished. It can be a let down because of all the emotional/spiritual/mental/physical work you've put into it. And maybe you needed some more congratulatory hugs or a party when you finished. I really don't know if that made sense. I'm sorry if it didn't. I am not firing on all cylinders this morning.

So I did not sleep that great. I was up early this morning for a couple of hours tossing and turning. I got anxious. My lady time is still procrastinating, so I am getting really frustrated about that, which is probably just making it wait more. Then just all the stuff I forgot to do yesterday that needs to be done today, and then the other things that have to be done today and tomorrow. My hormones are getting to me (plus the lack of sleep for almost a month) and I'm just getting anxious. :frown:
Goals today: not be anxious and just do what is before me. No thinking about getting on the airplane, or trying to get sleep on the airplane, or eating on the airplane, or climbing over someone to go to the bathroom or walk around...Yes these are the things I think about. You have now been given a glimpse into my scary mind. Also I am going to clean and start packing. I missed my quiet time this morning so I will plan to do that while Alex is sleeping this afternoon. And maybe walk if I have time. I haven't had time as of late.

Be anxious about nothing boogaloo!
MM

yoginimary

"When you worry about something, you experience it twice." - my husband. Now, anytime I do the "act out in my head" stuff - I tell myself to cut it out and focus on what I'm doing at the moment. It's effective for me.

I agree with MM about accomplishing something. Christmas can be like that for me. You spend all this time and effort getting everything done, then it's over and somehow disappointing. One of the many reasons I've encouraged people to stop buying gifts. This doesn't apply to children - spoil the heck out of them.

I taught one good class and one mediocre class yesterday. I'm not sure why one was one way and one the other. V, what have you noticed makes your teaching better?

Today - teach this morning, walk this afternoon, yoga tonight. Nice a cool out today as well :bigsmile:

Get out of your head, boogaloo.

lotusfromthemud

Mary, my number one teachin breakthrough is recent and it was super scary:
I asked my students the following question: "what do you guys need that I'm not giving to you?" they were honest and gentle and constructive. There's a lot you forget when you're really expert at something.

mechanicmom

Good morning. :yawn: :yawn: :yawn:
I don't think I can express that enough. I'm a yawning fool this morning. I woke up in the middle of the night (or early this morning) and realized I had been sleeping really well and felt like I was actually resting. Well, I didn't go back to sleep for awhile after that. :ohwell: It wasn't anxiety. Just felt like I had caffeine before bed, which is the way it's been for the last four weeks. I am ready to get my thyroid adjusted. I actually felt pretty peaceful last night and still do this morning. Maybe it's because I am just too sleepy to care. :laugh:
Lots and lots to do today. I tried to get all my errands run yesterday, but my medicine wasn't ready and the good will place closed at 6 instead of 7. So I have to do that today, plus clean house and pack. Why oh why must I procrastinate? I blame lack of sleep, but I think I am just lazy.

Work better under pressure? boogaloo!
MM

yoginimary

As scary as that would be, I would ask that V, if I had enough students to ask. I only had 2 people yesterday and 3 on Monday. I must admit, I teach at a slack time at the gym, I teach a class that is for the more advanced student, and the gym numbers have gone down as of late. I have one very dedicated student (not dedicated to me, but to the practice - he comes to 7 classes a week), I'm going to ask him how he thinks I could improve my student attendance. I am learning to talk less.

My cat wouldn't let me sleep in this morning, so I'm with you on the tiredness, MM.

Anyhoo, today I'm going to a class and walking at home. I need to get more fruit today. Having fruit for a snack makes me go through a lot of it. We have beautiful weather right now, so maybe a bike ride? The pollen is so bad that the cars are covered in yellow/green dust (seriously covered), so maybe that's not the best idea after all. I would like to request some rain please. Something to wash away all this oak pollen and water my garden.

Sleepiness, boogaloo.

lotusfromthemud

Mary, to me it sounds like you're doing a lot to improve your teaching. Talking to the one dedicated student is a good idea. He probably would have constructive stuff to say, since he might go to a lot of different teachers.

I had a mini-revelation yesterday.

Well, two of them. First one: I was reviewing my notebook during my morning coffee/plan my day and found a distillation of goals for the year: "be kind, do good work." (eyebrow raise)

Part two: I took off armband thingee to take a shower and noticed that there was an enormous (and painful) psoriasis flare under it, that I've just been "dealing with".

:explode: I. am. sick. of. "dealing with".

To that, I have decided that my number one goal right now is to "be kind". To myself. So, for now, I am doing the following: cutting myself some fricking slack. :laugh: I had a realization that the other night, the reason I wanted to eat ice cream for dinner was because I wanted to break "the rules". Whose rules? My rules. :noway: So, no more rules. I took armband thingee off, and I'm leaving her off for a little while. I'm not logging food, I'm not making "exercise x amount of times for x amount of minutes" goals. I'm having one goal and that's to work for four of my sessions a day on my academic work. My body is pretty much in cascade failure right now. Psoriasis flare, fibro flare, migraines under control, so now a sinus infection (really?) (official neurological diagnosis until the MRI "You may just be a headachey person." actual quote)

So, less rules, more kindness. I'm very, very good at being kind to others. So, now I'm aiming to be kind to myself. That most likely doesn't mean slacking, as I'm not a slacker. But, I do have a theory that if I have less rules, I'll have less rebellious/self-destructive urges along the lines of "eat ice cream for dinner, that'll show 'em" (show who?, me? anyways?) I know I will work out, because I am now a person who works out. I don't think I need all these "rules". I think they are driving me crazy. I think they are making me sick. I know that last statement is close to the truth, because typing it made me start to cry a little.

I intend to rest physically today due to draining sinuses and insane headache due to sinuses + weather change. :grumble: Also, because I took a three hour long walk yesterday in between appointments (weather was beautiful for this. . .I detoured through an art museum. . . and I had much to ponder. . .see above) I also intend to work for two more sessions, then read and rest.

Be kind, boogaloo.:flowerforyou:

mechanicmom

Mary, I agree with V. Sounds like you've improved on your teaching. And I think asking that guy that comes regularly is a good idea.

V, you have every right to be sick of "dealing with". I feel for you!

Well, I would say I am 3/4 of the way packed, and the house is almost all clean. I was just about to crash early this afternoon. I prayed for God's help to get things done. What happens? One of my closest friends calls and wants to come over and help me! Her coming over was motivation to get the house cleaned up. :laugh: She's allergic to cats so I had to clean up and lint roll the couches. She only stayed an hour and we didn't pack or clean. We just talked. It was enough to wake me up for awhile and get the house clean. :happy:
People's favorite question for me these days: Are you excited? Um, no. I'm really not. One girl said, "Well, then maybe it's not right for you to be going." Nope, that's not it. If I went based on my feelings all the time, I'd never experience anything...ever! If it wasn't right for us to go, the door would have been shut, just like it has been multiple times before. I honestly think it's because I am so tired and because my thyroid has me so messed up right now. Plus, still no lady time. Maybe if I stay stressed it will just skip. :laugh: It may just skip anyway due to the medicine change. That would be fine with me I guess. I think I will get excited when we get on the plane to go....or maybe when I get a decent night of sleep. Or ten. lol!
I know for a fact that even if I had time this week to work out I would not have been able to. I have not had the energy for it. I've been reading up on hypothyroid symptoms and I have realized since the change in meds those symptoms have gotten worse. At least I know things are changing and hopefully the doc can balance them out when I get back.
I'm rambling because I'm too tired to get up and do anything. I could probably write a novel but I've hogged the thread enough.
Sleepy Mel boogaloo.
MM

mechanicmom

I want to trade myself in for a new one. Can I do that?
I had a panic attack last night. A bad one. And I'm not sure it's over. I cried and just shut down. I felt physically ill, like from a thyroid stand point, and a lady time stand point. :frown: I know I wouldn't be feeling this way if my hormones weren't so out of whack right now. I still don't feel well this morning. I did sleep fairly well for a change. But once hubby walked out the door I realized I am on my own for the next three hours, getting everything finished and loaded. My emotions kicked back in and my palms started sweating. Oh brother. I'm sick of myself.
Other than that, feeling a bit sinusy this morning. I still need to finish packing, shower and fix my hair, bathe Alex, eat breakfast, make sure the house is straightened up, and get the car loaded. Guess I should look at it as no time to panic! I am already on the "Russian diet". I am down another pound and a half. I'm eating, just not very much. I think I'm on to something.

Dumb hormones boogaloo.
MM

yoginimary

Take care of yourselves pebbs. Sounds like you guys need a day at the spa, or similar.

The registration for the big yoga conference in May was supposed to begin today. So far, no word. I was waiting to send my credit card payment in (I'm not sure which cards they take, this is a big expense so I wanted to prepay), but I may have to go ahead and send it. I also have three other workshops to pay for - and Charlie might attend all of them, so that will be a chunk of change (when it was just me, it was half the cost of course).

Other than watching the money go away, I'm going to group practice and a short walk this morning.

Bye, bye, money, bye, bye, boogaloo.

lotusfromthemud

Morning, pebbs. . .

I had a recommendation from a friend to a "doctor who specializes in unusual diseases". I'm in "can't hurt" mode, so I called and left a message. Apparently, she had lyme disease, and all her doctors thought she was just a kook. This guy helped her. Can't hurt.

Other than that, working, getting ready for a bill-paying session (bye, bye money) and then more working. I am currently on the "everything tastes unimaginably awful due to sinus infection post-nasal drip diet". Ugh.

I'll trade with you, MM. Just kidding. You don't want it. For what it's worth, I think you have every right to be terrified and nervous right now. You are doing something overwhelming, life changing and scary that was also very hard and disappointing last time. I'd be more worried for you if you were perfectly calm right now.

I read something very interesting yesterday: "calm is something you must go after, whereas stress comes after you." This really struck me. I think that I have been sort of beating myself up for not being a calmer person. Instead of recognizing that you have to make an effort to be a calmer person. I had sort of an "aha/duh" moment. I've started a miniature (because I suck at stillness) 3 minutes of "doing nothing" before each work session. I think it's helping. I have this little app called "insight timer" (formerly zen timer) on my iPhone. I set it for 3 minutes and be still for three minutes , and then set it for 45 minutes for my work session. I just sit there and do nothing, then I just sit there and work. The little buffer zone seems to help center me.

Going after calm, boogaloo.:flowerforyou:

yoginimary

Stealing the quote, V.

Also, I have the Insight Timer - I use it to time my yoga poses - and for savasana.

cp005e

Hugs to all of you.

I took today off work as a comp day since I've been working so much lately. And I did not do much! Slept in, chatted with my friend (baby is still doing OK), read a book. And now it's late and I should go to bed - but I wanted to post before MM left. Sending you strength and courage and wishes for a safe and rewarding journey.

yoginimary

Have a wonderful time in Russia, MM!

I had an enormous piece of delicious chocolate cake last night; however, I couldn't finish it. That was a first. I'm hoping I'm becoming more aware of my hunger/full states - not that I'm just eating so much that there was no more room

I signed up for three of the four workshops. I'm waiting on advice for the big workshop in Chicago. I asked last night, but one of the classes recommended is for lotus pose - which my husband doesn't do and it hurts my knee to do - so I need to ask again today.

Oh, I got three compliments on my looks yesterday. I was deciding whether or not to get another color of the shirt I was wearing - I think the answer is yes. I'm doing that today before yoga. I'm also going to make the cocoa snack cake (which is closer to bread than cake, as it has neither oil or sugar added - I used to think banana bread was bread, go figure).

Cake, bread, boogaloo.

mechanicmom

Thanks Pebbs. I definitely needs prayers or whatever you want to send. I'm a mess. Lol. I got hit with sinus allergy stuff yesterday on the way down. Hoping it's not a sinus infection. I've also been crying alot and this has really had nothing to do with the trip. My hormones are so out of whack and I am so so tired! I need sleep desperately. I hope once I get on the plane I will get excited. And that my sinuses will clear up in Russia like they did last time. I'm eating but not very much. The only thing that sounds good is fruit but it doesn't fill me up very long. Usually I want bread so this is a change. A good one.
Sorry to sound like such a downer. I was not expecting to feel really sick so it's been hard. And I feel like I'm going to miss Alex a lot more than I expected.
We are leaving in about an hour for Houston. Guess I'd better get ready. It will be okay.

Russia boogaloo!
MM
Typed on my phone so please excuse typos.

lotusfromthemud

I don't know if you will see this, MM: I think that it will be one of those things that you just have no time to feel anything just yet, but I'm pretty sure that you will be excited when the time comes. I'm sending you prayers for strength and faith.

Today, I am playing hooky from thinking and being a sick person. My husband woke up this morning and asked me how I was feeling. I said "I no longer want to talk about it." I meant it. I've decided I just can't waste time dwelling there. I'll pursue it with doctors, try to rest, medicate and rest as best I can. . .but I can't waste any more time thinking about it. I feel like I'm turning into a walking illness. So, that's that. For now.

Anyways. . .We're going outside and trying to have a nice day until I get tired and want to come home. Walking and soaking up some vitamin D, and going and finding me some spicy sinus clearing Korean food.

Kim chi, boogaloo.:flowerforyou:

mechanicmom

Thanks V. I went to a clinic and they gave me antibiotics for a sinus infection. I had a sinus infection last year when I went. She couldn't do anything about my thyroid. I will call my doc on Monday from Russia and see what they want to do. So at least I got the nose thing taken care of.

Just need sleep boogaloo.
MM

mechanicmom

We made it. Thankfully we have the evening to crash in the apartment. I think I've slept at total of three hours in 36 hours. I'm still sick and I'm beginning to think it's a cold. and we had an unwelcome visitor come with us. Went to the bathroom before boarding the plane and surprise! So it's been a fun couple of days.
We did have some neat things happen to us already. I'm writing about it in my journal and I will post it in my notes when I get home.
Tomorrow is sightseeing and possibly seeing Miss I. Or it will be tues or wed before we see her. I'm so tired. I'm going to go. Just wanted to let you know we made it.
MM

yoginimary

Enjoy your sleep, MM. Glad to see you checking in.

I'm waiting to hear back from one of the conference teachers before signing up for Chicago. I don't think that many people from this area are going - so far I don't know anyone that is. Would be nice to have someone other than Charlie to talk to about it. I'm already deciding where we are going to eat each day (conference is in September. :laugh:) Actually, I've never liked any food I got in Chicago, so I'm working on changing that.

Charlie went off to meditation group, so I have three hours to walk and clean before lunch.

Cocoa bread is delicious.

Planing freak, boogaloo.

lotusfromthemud

Oops. Forgot to check in today.


Glad to hear you have safely arrived, MM. Here's hoping you feel better soon. Travelling is no time to not feel well.

Not much else to report today, just lots of rest without guilt (my new theme.)


Sleepytime, boogaloo.:flowerforyou: