Not-so-serious questions for Taso42!

13

Replies

  • 3ball
    3ball Posts: 338 Member
    A Priest, Nun, and Rabbi all walk in to a bar together. What happens next?
  • bry_all01
    bry_all01 Posts: 3,100 Member
    I'm going to get you for this Bry.....

    do you want to spank me now?
  • taso42_DELETED
    taso42_DELETED Posts: 3,394 Member
    Which is heavier? 5lbs of feathers, or 5 lbs of shakeology?
    I am referring to fat weight rather than scale weight.

    5 lbs of shakeology actually weights 10 lbs. So you do the math..
  • taso42_DELETED
    taso42_DELETED Posts: 3,394 Member
    Hey Taso... Is it true that you can beat up Chuck Norris with your eyes closed and hands tied behind your back, while sitting down??

    Chuck Norris is an MFP member. His login name is taso42.
  • taso42_DELETED
    taso42_DELETED Posts: 3,394 Member
    If a calorie is consumed on MFP, but Taso is not around to observe it, does it count?

    It counts at least half. But since nobody was looking you can fudge the numbers and nobody would know.
  • taso42_DELETED
    taso42_DELETED Posts: 3,394 Member
    Did you stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night?

    You seriously don't remember? Man, you really were drunk!
  • taso42_DELETED
    taso42_DELETED Posts: 3,394 Member
    Should I eat my exercise calories?

    WWJSD?
  • taso42_DELETED
    taso42_DELETED Posts: 3,394 Member
    Should I be on a very low calorie diet?

    Can you describe it for me?

    If you have stairs, go down stairs. Find the lowest point in your home. If you live in an apartment on anything other than the ground floor, go outside. Dig a hole if you have to. Place a tic tac on the floor or in the bottom of the hole. That is a very low calorie.
  • k2quiere
    k2quiere Posts: 4,151 Member
    Should I be on a very low calorie diet?

    Can you describe it for me?

    If you have stairs, go down stairs. Find the lowest point in your home. If you live in an apartment on anything other than the ground floor, go outside. Dig a hole if you have to. Place a tic tac on the floor or in the bottom of the hole. That is a very low calorie.

    Damn, that's what I've been doing wrong all this time??? I forgot to dig the damn hole...no wonder my burns weren't high enough to counteract those 500 a day calories.
  • taso42_DELETED
    taso42_DELETED Posts: 3,394 Member
    if i dont eat my exercise calories will i get arrested?

    It's a risk for sure. But once the the coppers see that it's Mr. Awesome himself, they'll just ask for an autograph and send you on your way.
  • taso42_DELETED
    taso42_DELETED Posts: 3,394 Member
    If I ask questions with double meanings will I always get twice the answers?



    If stupid people never learn of their plight then isn't breeding more dangerous than not eating exercise calories?

    Let me answer this question with a question: In a mathematically perfect circle, which way is up?
  • taso42_DELETED
    taso42_DELETED Posts: 3,394 Member
    Should I exercise my eat calories?

    Repeat! Please go to the end of the line.
  • taso42_DELETED
    taso42_DELETED Posts: 3,394 Member
    I've been part of a public weight-loss competition for a little while now.... I do not like that we weigh-in at night, because we have eaten that day already and are fully clothed. Obviously this is not our true weight. I normally weigh in the mornings, with no clothes on.

    Even though we weigh-in at a church, do you think it is unbecoming for me to show up in pasties and a thong so that I get a more accurate number on the scale?

    Also, do you think it's against the law to drive there dressed like that?

    What if I need to change my tire on a busy street in front of the town library?

    Can I technically stop in and buy a slurpee at 7-11 if I'm still in my new weigh-in garb?

    Will the slurpee calories count if I don't think about the sugar in it?

    Two words: Trench coat.
  • k2quiere
    k2quiere Posts: 4,151 Member
    If I ask questions with double meanings will I always get twice the answers?



    If stupid people never learn of their plight then isn't breeding more dangerous than not eating exercise calories?

    Let me answer this question with a question: In a mathematically perfect circle, which way is up?

    I guess that would depend if I were standing on my head when I looked at it.
  • taso42_DELETED
    taso42_DELETED Posts: 3,394 Member
    You must be getting any if you have time to play this game Taos. Would you like goat sent your way?

    Is this a greek joke?
  • taso42_DELETED
    taso42_DELETED Posts: 3,394 Member
    How do I join your fan club?

    Send a self-addressed stamped envelope to VonDarche. Or bump the fan club thread.
  • taso42_DELETED
    taso42_DELETED Posts: 3,394 Member
    A Priest, Nun, and Rabbi all walk in to a bar together. What happens next?

    The bartender takes one look at them and says, "What is this, some kind of joke?"
  • foodforfuel
    foodforfuel Posts: 569 Member
    I am going to buy 10 lb reams of paper for my workouts. However, I noticed the paper comes in 'heavyweight' and 'lightweight'. What should I do? How will this effect my workout? Will I have to eat back more of my exercise calories if I buy the 'heavyweight' paper?
  • taso42_DELETED
    taso42_DELETED Posts: 3,394 Member
    I am going to buy 10 lb reams of paper for my workouts. However, I noticed the paper comes in 'heavyweight' and 'lightweight'. What should I do? How will this effect my workout? Will I have to eat back more of my exercise calories if I buy the 'heavyweight' paper?

    obviously 10 lbs of heavyweight paper are heavier than 10 lbs of lightweight. that's why it's called heavyweight. you can start working out with 10 lbs of the lightweight paper, but work your way up to the heavyweight.
  • Avalonis
    Avalonis Posts: 1,540 Member
    Do Sex calories count as burned calories, or calories consumed? ;)
  • taso42_DELETED
    taso42_DELETED Posts: 3,394 Member
    Do Sex calories count as burned calories, or calories consumed? ;)

    Depends on the size of the horse.
  • baisleac
    baisleac Posts: 2,019 Member
    How should pants be worn?

    What's the best way to get to 0% bodyfat?
  • taso42_DELETED
    taso42_DELETED Posts: 3,394 Member
    How should pants be worn?
    When you're starting out, take it one leg at a time. Once you get the hang of it you can do it all 2 legs at once. A lot of people consider wearing a belt, especially a white belt, as cheating. But if a belt helps to keep your pants up, I say go for it.
    What's the best way to get to 0% bodyfat?

    cremation
  • k2quiere
    k2quiere Posts: 4,151 Member
    Do Sex calories count as burned calories, or calories consumed? ;)

    Depends on the size of the horse.

    One word....DAYUM!!!
  • Avalonis
    Avalonis Posts: 1,540 Member
    Do Sex calories count as burned calories, or calories consumed? ;)

    Depends on the size of the horse.

    Wait, is the horse pitching or catching?
  • taso42_DELETED
    taso42_DELETED Posts: 3,394 Member
    Do Sex calories count as burned calories, or calories consumed? ;)

    Depends on the size of the horse.

    Wait, is the horse pitching or catching?

    It depends on how "motivated" you are.
  • Jena_72
    Jena_72 Posts: 1,057 Member
    I am going to buy 10 lb reams of paper for my workouts. However, I noticed the paper comes in 'heavyweight' and 'lightweight'. What should I do? How will this effect my workout? Will I have to eat back more of my exercise calories if I buy the 'heavyweight' paper?

    obviously 10 lbs of heavyweight paper are heavier than 10 lbs of lightweight. that's why it's called heavyweight. you can start working out with 10 lbs of the lightweight paper, but work your way up to the heavyweight.
    thats priceless!! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • Jelleebean
    Jelleebean Posts: 212 Member
    What's the best way to get to 0% bodyfat?

    cremation
    [/quote]

    they all made me lol.... but, this one brought tears to my eyes..... i bow to your awesome taso :D
  • NewVonnie
    NewVonnie Posts: 683 Member
    :tongue:
    How do I join your fan club?

    Send a self-addressed stamped envelope to VonDarche. Or bump the fan club thread.

    OMG..HILARIOUS!!!!!!! Loving that
  • 3ball
    3ball Posts: 338 Member
    If you had a lamp to rub, would you really need the Genie to pop out?
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