What was the worst thing someone said to you regarding your
What I have learned: To ignore it0
Oh my gosh these comments just break my heart. We all know what we look like. Why do some people feel the need to point it out to us or others? Especially elderly folks; I work with the elderly and I think in the Forties it must have been a crime to be overweight. Whether it was living through the Depression or the rationing of the war years, so many of the 80-something folks feel a need to describe people by their weight or constantly suggest the latest diet or comment on what we should be eating, doing or wearing. Even my mom, although for years I have tried to remind her that it is unkind. I think they mean well, but they just don't get how hurtful it is that you can't have a relationship without your weight entering into general conversation.0
My EX told me he liked me fat so I wouldn't find someone else. Yup and THAT is why he is an EX!0
Ooh boy...a client at my work said"what happened? You gained weight. You used to be so pretty."As Double whammy! He had no place commenting on that. When ex wanted to break up he said my stomach disgusted him I have been a lower belly pooch, even when thinner. Since 9th grade til I was probably 20, a guy I knew at school would call me and say im fat, do I want bacon, make oinking noises etc with his friends laughing in the background. He's a winner. I saw him running the other day..while I was driving..i wanted to punch him.0
I was five and it was my dancing recital. After the recital I ran up to my father and said "Daddy! Did you see me?" He responded that of course he saw me, because I looked like a fat basketball in that costume bouncing around on stage. I was FIVE!!! When a FIVE year old is fat whose fault is it? This was the first time I really realized that I was fat and that it was a bad thing.
When I was 11 my mother was 8 months pregnant and both she and my father forced me on the scale and pointed out that I weighed more than my 8 months pregnant mother and they pointed out how I needed to lose weight and they were appalled at my weight. I didn't eat supper that night. The next morning on the way to school my mom bought me a doughnut and hot chocolate for breakfast- I didn't ask for it, that's just what she got me for breakfast every morning- and she couldn't understand why I was so fat?0
After we first got married we were at one of his family reunions and his uncle came up to me and said "Don't guess we have to worry about you falling through a crack in the floor"0
Yes, those are very hurtful. Probably somewhat truthful. USE IT - to your advantage. Yes, I need to loose. Yes, I'm working on it. NO I won't give up. NO it won't stop me. Turn the break-down into a break-open. When you want your fav comfort food - remember your OWN voice - I want this, and I CHOSE not to eat it. I'm worth a healthy body. I'm worth a lean body. I'm worth it - and that's why it's MY CHOICE, and I chose not to eat it. Walk away tall, proud and another minute of great choices. Stay out of the future - it's a killer. It'll drag you down fast. Live moment to moment, bite by bite. Make your choice the same way. You can do it! You're worth it!0
If I be so blunt: friends SHOULD tell you what's good for you, not what you want to hear. Doing it in front of others? that is NOT a friend. I don't care what culture she's from. It's rude and hurtful. Find new friends.0
You sure can sing, too bad you're so fn fat0
You know, I know I'm fat, and I've known for a long time, but it's never stopped me from getting into relationships with relatively fit guys, which I always found amusing. But my little sister, who's built like a twig and weights 100 pounds soaking wet, I would always tell her how huge her butt is. Now she carries this horrible self image about her butt. Sooo... it's not always skinny people who are mean to fat people. Often fat people are total jerks to skinny people. I've seen a lot of skinny women with low self-esteem because people tell them how much they HATE them for being able to fit into a size 0 or whatever :P So don't turn it around on other people.
But on the topic of the post, I think one of the ones that irked me most was back in the days of myspace, I posted a picture of me from prom (I was probably 140 ish back then, a size 10 I think) and some guy messaged me explicitly to tell me how fat I was and that I should probably die for polluting the internet with my whale-ish-ness. Or something. Bugged me at the time but meh. I looked awesome in that dress.
I tend to forget about slights against my weight nowadays though, because meh. I don't really care. I have a slightly distorted body image - I know I'm fat, and I'm working on it, but when I look in the mirror I think I look awesome. XD0
I can't believe that people think it's ok at say insults at someone because they are overweight! WTF???0
Although I can completely empathize with all of you and agree that people can be cruel especially family, I think we have to stop reliving the pain of these hurtful words. These things have cause us sadness and low self-esteem ..but it is time to say **** YOU to those *kitten* and not give them any more power in your lives!!!! Focus on how awesome you are.. write about the good people,,, your support system.. how much love you have to offer the world.. Empower yourself by doing positive things.. fuel your soul with GOOD thoughts that make you FEEL GOOD!!!! STOP focusing on pain and hurt.. Re think and train yourselves to treat yourself with kindness.. you deserve it! : ) xo0
I hadn't seen my mom in 11 years, and one of the first things she said to me was, "I would never have known you. You were always so skinny."
That was bad.0
My EX told me he liked me fat so I wouldn't find someone else. Yup and THAT is why he is an EX!
Good for you for not putting up with that *kitten*.0
One comment that still stands out in my mind ~ from a family friend, I was 16 and a little chunky (not bad, I had some big boobs, let's just put it that way) ~ I overheard her talking about me...." Such a pretty face... too bad about the rest of her!" I just died inside. That was forever burned in to my head.:embarassed: :frown: Later in life, didn't matter if I was 180 or 120 lbs, still felt like a fat girl!:sad:0
I am astonished by the incredibly mean things that are said to people, especially coming from family. All of the comments just make me want to be a better mom who praises her children for the people that they are, rather than their appearance or performance. I am so sorry to all of you who have been broken by people's cruelty and ignorance. Congratulations on getting healthy.0
What was said to me, and how I reacted or how it affected me:
1) My grandma when I was 13: "You have piano knees!" Me: "Um, what are piano knees?" Grandma: "That's when your knees are so fat, they only look good hidden beneath a piano."
~ I've never worn shorts since that day. That was a very long time ago, but I just can't stand my knees, even when I'm thin. I WILL wear shorts one day, maybe even to her funeral.
2) My mom (whom I love dearly), when I was 13: "Honey, you have a weight problem, and you need to lose weight. If you get fat, no one will want to marry you."
~ I spent the next several years battling bulimia, because I was old enough to care about her opinion, but not old enough to have learned how to deal with it in a healthy way. 20 years later, my mom and I are NOW a very good support system for each other. We're honest, but supportive. I strive everyday to teach my young daughter healthy eating habits so she might not fall victim to what I went through in my teen years.
3) My ex-fiance AFTER I lost over 100 pounds, and was wearing a size 6 or 7, "You know, you could look hot, if you'd just workout more. You're stomach's too big/hair's too blonde/teeth too crooked... insert other complaint here". (the REAL complaint turned out to be that I wasn't a man. But he could never just come out of the closet and stop using me for a shield. Did I ever laugh when I found that out!)
~ I dumped his *kitten*. And found someone who could love me for me, whom I adored, and married him instead. And I don't tolerate ignorant people like my ex.
So, horrible things get said, but there's a way to learn from each and every one. Even if it's just to learn that some people aren't worth your time or your tears.0
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