Boyfriend Motivation???

Espressocycle

Listen, people, when a man gets with a woman who weas 126 lbs and then all the sudden she weighs 158, he has every right to tell her to lose the weight. After all, he signed up for life with a hot skinny chick, not a hot curvy chick. And looks matter! I mean, what's the point of going to the gym every day and being fit if you have to be seen with somebody whose BMI is four pounds over normal? I mean, gross, right?

terewilliams

I am in a wonderful seven year relationship with a 62 year old 6-pack fitness mania marine. When it started I was 273 pounds...I'm down to 245 this week. He's been supportive of my efforts to lose weight and provides positive comments along the way. Just last night he said "You deserve a piece of apple pie - I am so pround of the way you have really been working out and on losing weight for the last 4 weeks."

I think I am hard enough on myself. I don't need anyone else to be hard on me. I am doing this for myself. I don't think anyone else can nag or berate me into doing this. Tell that guy to get lost!

terewilliams

:laugh: Thats funny!

One time I was trying to diet and my EX-husband told me "If I wanted a skinny woman I would have married one!" He was a beautifully formed weight lifter! :laugh:

terewilliams

:laugh: Thats funny!

One time I was trying to diet and my EX-husband told me "If I wanted a skinny woman I would have married one!" He was a beautifully formed weight lifter! :laugh:

Elizabeth_C34

Listen, people, when a man gets with a woman who weas 126 lbs and then all the sudden she weighs 158, he has every right to tell her to lose the weight. After all, he signed up for life with a hot skinny chick, not a hot curvy chick. And looks matter! I mean, what's the point of going to the gym every day and being fit if you have to be seen with somebody whose BMI is four pounds over normal? I mean, gross, right?

Oh, and to the OP:

Dump him, get smokin' hot just for you, and find someone else who will love you.

terewilliams

:laugh:

AlsDonkBoxSquat

Listen, people, when a man gets with a woman who weas 126 lbs and then all the sudden she weighs 158, he has every right to tell her to lose the weight. After all, he signed up for life with a hot skinny chick, not a hot curvy chick. And looks matter! I mean, what's the point of going to the gym every day and being fit if you have to be seen with somebody whose BMI is four pounds over normal? I mean, gross, right?

And when a man gets with a woman who is 26 does he expect her to never age, I mean she didn't have wrinkles when they met? What about pregnancy, you realize your SUPPOSED to gain weight during pregnancy, right? Oh, and that bish better not get stretch marks, because he didn't sign up for that after all she didn't have those to begin with. And the bish's body better return to statuesque after the pregnancy withing like 3 days, and nothing about her physiology better change in the process including boob perkiness and the spread of her hips (even though you know that happens naturally through hormones) and let us not forget her tw*t.
And for same a man fluctuate a few pounds right? HA!
Love isn't this shallow.

(yes, i see the sarcasm, i'm just fired up)

Espressocycle

And the bish's body better return to statuesque after the pregnancy withing like 3 days, and nothing about her physiology better change in the process including boob perkiness and the spread of her hips (even though you know that happens naturally through hormones) and let us not forget her tw*t.
And for same a man fluctuate a few pounds right? HA!

This is why you marry one woman to have some children with, then dump her for a hot chick who is happy with being a stepmother! Duh.

But seriously, OP, DTMFA

nikki778

hahaha & I get bashed for my statement,..
You guys are too awesome!

KSfitgal

I completely agree! I have a close friend whose EX husband used to cut her down all the time. He even had an affair on her when she was pregnant with his second child and had gained weight. My friend is beautiful, skinny, athletic and the heaviest I have ever seen her was when she was pregnant, and the weight came right off. She took him back, but he continued to belittle her weight or make snide comments about the house and all together they had 4 kids. He didn't do a thing to help when he was home, but she worked full time outside of the home, took care of the kids and was up everyday at 4am in the gym all to try to make HIM happy. She finally had the sense to end it with him, and get out of that emotionally & sometimes physically abusive relationship and is now married to one of the most wonderful men in the world who is incredibly loving and finds her to be beautiful no matter what she looks like that day.

You are young - so be smart and find someone who will appreciate your beauty both inside and out, and not make you feel like you want to eat because they are making you feel so bad. You aren't married - so leaving him should be no problem! Good luck - keep your chin up, and realize your own self worth and that life is WAY to short to stay in a relationship with someone who cuts you down.

The problem isn't your lack of motivation. It's your choice of boyfriends.

Dump that loser and find someone who will appreciate you for who you are and not make you feel guilty for not being someone you're not.

Best of luck to you.

chanstriste13

UGH~ Grow up??? I should have worded that a bit better ~

My closing statement was directed towards HIM I should have put 'HIM' instead of 'PEOPLE'
you know as in PEOPLE LIKE HIM ~
I hope to have made that as clear as my 'crystal ball'

Its one thing if youre crying to him with a mouth full of twinkies about your weight & he is offering you tough love but if hes making statements out of nowhere that insult you then its simple,...

YOU LEAVE HIM.

What is wrong with people? UGh its pathetic.

it must be nice to have your crystal ball so you can see and know everything about everyone.

advice is one thing, but to lay down the 'pathetic' verdict is just bad form. grow up.

ahhh...that makes a lot more sense. the implication (as i read it) was that you were calling the original poster pathetic...thanks for clearing that up.

GreenThyme

That doesn't sound like "motivation", it sounds like insults. I would not put up with it. Tell him that the comments hurt your feelings. If he keeps making them, I wonder why you two would want to be together.

You need loving support. This is not it.

jeninabilan

hmmmm okay.. I am going to sound like a total ***** (why is this such a trend in all of my responses?) lol

I am not shallow, but in all seriousness, when you are trying to get in shape and constantly better yourself, you want someone who will go on that journey with you.. This may sound mean, but when you are getting in shape and your partner is staying the same or gaining weight, it might be a little bit of a turn off.. That doesn't mean you love them any less, it's just a turn off.. I had a boyfriend who was really into going to the gym all the time and at that point in my life, it was just not a priority, so he lost interest.. which makes sense. He wanted someone who had the same goals as him.

Now...

Let me start off by saying, you are HOT and have a GORGEOUS body, so I am not saying ANYTHING negative about that at all!! I just think you need to be fully confident in yourself and how he feels about you. If you found someone that you love undoubtedly and know that he loves you, I think you should try to make it work.. I hate how everyone's response to everything is "just move on".. that is not ALWAYS the answer. Now, if he is verbally or physically abusive, RUN!!!!!! I do not promote staying in unhealthy relationships at all.. But if he is just trying to be encouraging, then y'all can work it out.

Guys don't always have the best way of communicating and sometimes they say the wrong thing with the best of intentions. Maybe try talking to him about how he makes you feel and that you would like him to word things a little bit differently or lay off.. Maybe once he notices that you are putting in more effort into getting fit, he will back off.

I would love to be here to support you in any way that you need! Maybe fitness is just a journey y'all need to be on separately if you feel like he smothers you with it.. nothing wrong with that

jeninabilan

i don't think your bf is a loser and you need to dump him like everyone else is saying. i think he's just trying to motivate you, he just doesn't know HOW to motivate you. so he's motivating you in the manner in which would get HIM motivated. you just need to have a heart to heart with him and let him know that you see and appreciate what he's trying to accomplish, especially since you brought it on by complaining about your body in the first place. but the way he's doing it isn't working for you. but the most important thing: HAVE WAYS THAT HE CAN MOTIVATE THAT WOULD WORK FOR YOU ALREADY IN MIND!!!! don't come to this convo empty handed, because most guys are problem solvers. you complain, we find a way to fix the problem. you complain about weight, so he tries to get you to eat better and work out. the way he's doing it is not working for you, so you need to give him at least 3 things he can do that would work better for him to get him started. he'll come up with more on his own afterwards, but he's gonna need to know what works for you to give him a push and get him started. most women will just complain/vent to us with no solution in mind, which leaves us to our own devices to come up with one. you may not even WANT a solution, you just want to be heard. so you should make this known up front. and if his solution isn't working, come with suggestions.

AMEN!!!!

JustEllieK

The problem isn't your lack of motivation. It's your choice of boyfriends.

nikki778

God no, We are all here to help, I will have to take my time typing my thoughts & being more specific as to what Im implying, I would never be negative towards someone, I even requested her with a note.

UGH~ Grow up??? I should have worded that a bit better ~

My closing statement was directed towards HIM I should have put 'HIM' instead of 'PEOPLE'
you know as in PEOPLE LIKE HIM ~
I hope to have made that as clear as my 'crystal ball'

Its one thing if youre crying to him with a mouth full of twinkies about your weight & he is offering you tough love but if hes making statements out of nowhere that insult you then its simple,...

YOU LEAVE HIM.

What is wrong with people? UGh its pathetic.

it must be nice to have your crystal ball so you can see and know everything about everyone.

advice is one thing, but to lay down the 'pathetic' verdict is just bad form. grow up.

ahhh...that makes a lot more sense. the implication (as i read it) was that you were calling the original poster pathetic...thanks for clearing that up.