Awesome Drunk Stories...

anhancock10

Had friends visiting from out of town, staying with us. We had all gone out earlier and gotten pretty tanked, then decided to come home and get in the pool and drink some more. My friend finally calls it, and goes in to go to bed. Her hubby went in shortly after, leaving me and hubby still in the pool. I tell him I'm going in, he says he's right behind me.

I'm inside, changed, getting ready for bed and I hear this really loud *SPLASH*. Ok, wth? I wait a minute and I hear it again *SPLASH*. I come out of my room, met friend's hubby in the hall and he's like, what's he doing out there, cannon balls??

We go outside and hubby is standing with one foot on bottom of pool, one foot on the next step. He looks up and me and says, *I can't get out." Me: "what do you mean you can't get out" Him: *weaving and wobbling, says with a plea in his voice* "I can't get out of the pool. I tried twice and fell back in. Yea, so me and the friend haul his butt out of the pool b/c apparently he didn't have enough equilibrium left to even walk up the 4 steps to get out.

Dying laughing at this )))

anhancock10

Not one of my greatest moments but here goes::::

So its my friend's 21st birthday and she rented a party bus. I brought along a gallon of captain to SHARE with everyone on the bus...so i drink a couple glasses and i run out of my chaser (diet coke). So im pretty buzzed and some girl who was next to me was like you can chase it with this...me thinking its red bull or some energy drink says ok & keep drinking. Well come to find out it was a LOCO. ohhhhh helll no. So needless to say i woke up throwing up in a bucket and they had to send me home round 1230 in a cab. Well on my way home in the cab i told the cabbie to pull over multiple times because i had to pee ....well he kept telling me "you no pee in my cab" "i no pull over" well mothertrucker guess what....PEED in your cab biotch...guess he shoulda pulled over

cessnaholly

Spring weekend Uconn 1998. There was a lot of alcohol. Something about dancing on top of garbage cans - country line dancing to Jimi Hendrix, followed by drunk emails to ex boyfriend telling him how much I hate drunks. Oops.

jadedm

Hmm... So yeah.. CANNIBALISTICVEGETARIAN! I'm about to call you out.. It was me, Her and two other of our friends decided to chill over her house one day with a huge bottle of Skyy Vodka.... At first we were just making mixed drinks.. Nothing serious.. Wasn't that bad... But then..the pineapple juice started to slowly goooo away... We decided to get really ballsy and take shots of this skyy vodka while playing a drinking game.. I wanna say it was B.S... Okay.. Now it's four of us....The sky vodka bottle was pretty huge.. Tell us why the entire bottle was empty by the end of the game...? Everything was fine while we were sitting down... But I tell you ladies and gentlemen.. When we STOOOD up! Everything went completely left field.. We couldn't walk, talk, stand or see.... I remember walking upstairs...crashing into her cabinet with all of her Mom's keepsakes in there.. I think I broke something... I remember going into her brother's room, playing with him.. and hit the floor...then I remember going to the bathroom and falling asleep on the toilet... I FELL asleep on the toilet.. a friend of their's saw me walk out the bathroom... with my pants and panties wrapped around my ankles... It's gonna be a short story..cause well, I don't remember anything else after that.. xD LMAO AIn't that a shame..? I just know I woke up in bed next to my bestfriend and well that was it... That was the soft days..

Now I can recall another time ..all of us were playing dare games and making out in the hot tub.. Let's see..-taps chin-... Then last week.. On a wed.. we were outside drinking... People I shall remain nameless..-Looks at Vegetarian- was sitting on my porch half naked..along with my sister... I remember rolling around in the yard... God forbid I rolled in dog poop... I remember me peeing on the side of the house ..(OMG I was so wasted, don't judge me) Cause I couldn't make it in! So I relied on nature to take care of me...But then my other 3 friends followed me...and did the same..That was because we mixed beer and four loko's like an idiot... then drank swedish fish pinnacle..ontop of that..

jadedm

Spring weekend Uconn 1998. There was a lot of alcohol. Something about dancing on top of garbage cans - country line dancing to Jimi Hendrix, followed by drunk emails to ex boyfriend telling him how much I hate drunks. Oops.

xDD LMO! Country Line Dancing to Jimi!? Omg, that had to be hilarious..

shedoos

I am LMFAO... this is the best thread... well except for the Towel Tuesday thread of course.

Thanks to the OP for the idea!

jadedm

Not one of my greatest moments but here goes::::

So its my friend's 21st birthday and she rented a party bus. I brought along a gallon of captain to SHARE with everyone on the bus...so i drink a couple glasses and i run out of my chaser (diet coke). So im pretty buzzed and some girl who was next to me was like you can chase it with this...me thinking its red bull or some energy drink says ok & keep drinking. Well come to find out it was a LOCO. ohhhhh helll no. So needless to say i woke up throwing up in a bucket and they had to send me home round 1230 in a cab. Well on my way home in the cab i told the cabbie to pull over multiple times because i had to pee ....well he kept telling me "you no pee in my cab" "i no pull over" well mothertrucker guess what....PEED in your cab biotch...guess he shoulda pulled over

LOL! He was trying to get his full fare in! Now he has to deal with cleaning up piss, that's what he gets for being greedy!

CannibalisticVegetarian

Now I can recall another time ..all of us were playing dare games and making out in the hot tub.. Let's see..-taps chin-... Then last week.. On a wed.. we were outside drinking... People I shall remain nameless..-Looks at Vegetarian- was sitting on my porch half naked..along with my sister... I remember rolling around in the yard... God forbid I rolled in dog poop... I remember me peeing on the side of the house ..(OMG I was so wasted, don't judge me) Cause I couldn't make it in! So I relied on nature to take care of me...But then my other 3 friends followed me...and did the same..That was because we mixed beer and four loko's like an idiot... then drank swedish fish pinnacle..ontop of that..

Wait... you 'Played with my brother'?!---*edited* WAIT!!! You BROKE something?! What did you break!!!?
Also, I considered mentioning this story, but I decided to go for one that I could recall ALL of the details.. not just doing splits in the front yard and waking up several hours later to some monotone disembodied voice talking from the t.v. (BTW who gets drunk and turns the t.v. to the Geography channel?). ALSO, when I saw your name in the 'recent postings, I knew this was gonna be funny. XD

jadedm

Now I can recall another time ..all of us were playing dare games and making out in the hot tub.. Let's see..-taps chin-... Then last week.. On a wed.. we were outside drinking... People I shall remain nameless..-Looks at Vegetarian- was sitting on my porch half naked..along with my sister... I remember rolling around in the yard... God forbid I rolled in dog poop... I remember me peeing on the side of the house ..(OMG I was so wasted, don't judge me) Cause I couldn't make it in! So I relied on nature to take care of me...But then my other 3 friends followed me...and did the same..That was because we mixed beer and four loko's like an idiot... then drank swedish fish pinnacle..ontop of that..

Wait... you 'Played with my brother'?!---*edited* WAIT!!! You BROKE something?! What did you break!!!?
Also, I considered mentioning this story, but I decided to go for one that I could recall ALL of the details.. not just doing splits in the front yard and waking up several hours later to some monotone disembodied voice talking from the t.v. (BTW who gets drunk and turns the t.v. to the Geography channel?). ALSO, when I saw your name in the 'recent postings, I knew this was gonna be funny. XD

I don't even know who turned on my T.V.! But whoever did, They wanted to learn the best they could.. Cause me, nef and ram left while you were sleep. Maybe the kids did it.

CannibalisticVegetarian

They were asleep when I woke. In fact, they finally got up when I got out of bed to come searching for you guys downstairs. They were going on about cartoons and playing with that annoying Itsy bitsy spider toy.

i_love_vinegar

On our honeymoon in Florida we both had a bit too much to drink and went out to smoke. My husband then said..."If you're going to get in the car, you better do it now!". I was like OK and so when we got in he informed me that we were gonna dine and ditch and we squeeled out of the lot only to park our rental car around the corner at our hotel. We thought we were so smart to dine and ditch at the restaurant a half block away from this sushi joint LOL. We are standing in the lobby drunk as shiii* and the japanese waiter taps me on the shoulder and informs me we will pay now or he will call the cops. My husband bolts over the pool fence (which makes me die laughing now cause he carries himself with so much respect 98% of the time and here he is bolting over a pool fence). Me not so clever, yet not holding our credit card was taken hostage at the restaurant untill he came back to get me with his tail between his legs and pay the damn bill. Best stupid non logical drunk night of our lives LOL

So you were planning on dining and ditching the bill...are you sure your husband carries himself with respect 98% of the time? :huh:

christine24t

A few weeks ago, I grinded all night with a kid from my classes. Needless to say, it was awkward Monday morning.