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Is it betraying your friends/family/spouse
adrian_indy
Posts: 1,444 Member
I've noticed this strange occurance since I joined MFP. People seem to have no hesitation in airing the dirty laundry of their loved ones. What are your thoughts on that? What is your circle of trust like?
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I don't have a problem with minor complaints, especially when they are said with a humorous tone (If no one sees me around for a while it's because I'm in prison for murdering my husband for leaving his socks on the floor AGAIN.) and I'd hope that anyone with truly serious issues of spousal abuse would ask for help anywhere they might be able to find it. But for the most part I do feel that it's a betrayal. People posting "I'm so mad at my husband. We just got into another argument because he's too dang lazy to get off the couch. I work and all he does is play video games, etc" stuff is rude and a breach of trust. My hubby and I have been married for 18 years. I've been online at debate boards for over a decade and with the exception of the occasional (Dear Hubby, that silver box next to the sink is a dishwasher. USE IT!) I've never said anything negative about him online. I don't even complain to friends or family IRL. If it's an issue between us then we're the only people who need to be involved in resolving it.0
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I admit I whine about my personal life sometimes, but my boyfriend actually has an MFP account so I don't talk about a lot of sexual stuff out of respect for my relationship. I don't have a problem with other people doing it, though.0
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I know that the general humor I see is just that, humor. But I get on here and see people blasting people who are supposedly close to them and I try to think what my father would do, or wife, or mother if I ragged on them in public in such a way. Not as much what they would do as much as how they feel. If they were pieces of trash, I guess I wouldn't care.0
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Well I think doing it in a virtually anonymous setting is better than doing it in front of people you and your spouse actually know in real life.
That said, I rarely talk about my family on MFP, and if I do it's not anything gossipy.0 -
I think it's pretty trashy to air your dirty laundry on the internet, especially somewhere like MFP. It's like, if the spouse/family member/etc were to find that post you made, would they be upset? Offended?
I feel like many times, people on these forums spill all this information about a certain person, and then it becomes clear that they haven't even tried discussing it with the person. Recently there was a thread with a woman complaining about her "stupid husband" and it really bothered me. Please, get a diary or something. If my boyfriend wrote about me the way some posters do, I'd be pretty upset.0 -
It's like any other form of gossip. Officially I 'm against it, but I do it anyway.0
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I think it depends upon the topic and the post. Some are looking for advice on how to deal with a situation. Others are simply ranting. If each are done in a non-insulting way I don't have a problem with it. When a person resorts to mud-slinging behind a persons back then I have an issue with it. I mean, if you're going to call this person every name int he book and talk nothing but crap about them, why are you with them? It's one thing to to seek advice from others on how to make a situation better and try to work things out. It's another to go around bashing somone you supposedly love.0
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I never complain about my spouse. Ever. I don't appreciate when other people do it either, unless they are confessing some sort of abusive situation and don't have anywhere else to go. I dont complain about my parents, but I do talk about some things that have happened in my life in debate. These issues have all been resolved though.0
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\It's like any other form of gossip. Officially I 'm against it, but I do it anyway.
Funny!
I try not to gossip, but I do it sometimes too.0 -
I agree with almost everything that you all have said. If it's an ex or current spouse who is abusive, or a worthless parent who ditched you as a kid or what have you, ok, you owe them no respect. But I keep seeing people saying "my dad's lazy", "my Husband is stupid", and even in cases where the OP says he/she was joking, what if the person they were talking about knew they said that to all these people? How would they feel?0
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I write about my family all the time. It is usually meant to be humorous and, anytime I try to poke fun, I direct it towards myself.
I don't direct mean comments towards my family, and I don't allow anyone else to either. Insulting my wife or daughters in my presence is the quickest way to experience my inner d*ckhead.0 -
I write about my family all the time. It is usually meant to be humorous and, anytime I try to poke fun, I direct it towards myself.
I don't direct mean comments towards my family, and I don't allow anyone else to either. Insulting my wife or daughters in my presence is the quickest way to experience my inner d*ckhead.
As it should be!
Just noticed that you're in Portland, me too, well sort of.
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This discussion has been closed.