Husband left me because of weight. NEW motivation.

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Kimegatron wrote: »

clgaram720 wrote: »

krithsai wrote: »

ejcanavan wrote: »

I am not going to bag on her husband, just because we get one side of the story. It's good you got away from that situation though and can now focus on who YOU are and where you want to be. Weight loss is a personal journey and sometimes we have to suck it up and go it alone.
I went through the same thing with my now ex-husband and looking back at pictures I can kinda see why he cheated. I was 100 pounds when we met and got pregnant with our first son. By the time we divorced and 4 kids later I was 206. If he had gained 100 pounds I wouldn't have found him as attractive either ! He didn't sign up for a wife who didn't care about her appearance and honestly I lost the feeling of being attractive too and we weren't intimate anymore.
My current fiance and I agreed that if we ever started to gain that we would be honest with each other because we want to look our best to be healthy and happy for our entire lives together. So here we both are. My cooking and stress got the best of both of us. While her husband definitely approached it as an asshat, I think we have an obligation to ourselves and our spouse to be healthy.

Yeah no. Your ex is a jerk. You know what a good spouse does? Tells his partner when things start spiraling like my husband did : "hey babe, i notice how you look at yourself and you don't look happy. Do you want to try and start losing weight? I'll do absolutely anything I can to help you along". This was at 1 year postpartum when I hated myself in my daughter's birthday pictures. 5 months, 22 lbs down and it's all with his help. He has lived up to his word when he said he'll do whatever it takes to help me. He loved me at 145 lbs, 196 lbs and now at 174 lbs.

THANK YOU. Lot of adultery apologists on here. You know what? Obesity is a sickness. Whatever happened to "in sickness and in health" ?

Agreed. There is no excuse to cheat. If you don't want to be with someone who loves you so much that it hurts, then divorce them, break up with them, BEFORE you double dip. At least have SOME respect for the person that you are about to devastate.

Right??!!! I mean I am by NO MEANS advocating anyone stay in a marriage in which their needs aren't met. And yes, sex is a need for the vast majority of non-asexual adults. The whole point of having the option of divorce is so no one is trapped in a marriage that will consume their short years on this planet while not meeting their needs. But if you aren't getting your needs met, you either suck it up til you are (while actively trying to fix the problem) or you go file the paperwork and free yourself so that you may go get your needs met. Divorce is often sad, but adultery is ALWAYS damaging and painful and crappy to all parties involved. There just isn't any excuse for taking a course of action that harms people you claim to love.

VykkDraygoVPR

ejcanavan wrote: »

I am not going to bag on her husband, just because we get one side of the story. It's good you got away from that situation though and can now focus on who YOU are and where you want to be. Weight loss is a personal journey and sometimes we have to suck it up and go it alone.
I went through the same thing with my now ex-husband and looking back at pictures I can kinda see why he cheated. I was 100 pounds when we met and got pregnant with our first son. By the time we divorced and 4 kids later I was 206. If he had gained 100 pounds I wouldn't have found him as attractive either ! He didn't sign up for a wife who didn't care about her appearance and honestly I lost the feeling of being attractive too and we weren't intimate anymore.
My current fiance and I agreed that if we ever started to gain that we would be honest with each other because we want to look our best to be healthy and happy for our entire lives together. So here we both are. My cooking and stress got the best of both of us. While her husband definitely approached it as an asshat, I think we have an obligation to ourselves and our spouse to be healthy.

There is never a valid reason for adultery. Period.

krithsai

clgaram720 wrote: »

krithsai wrote: »

ejcanavan wrote: »

I am not going to bag on her husband, just because we get one side of the story. It's good you got away from that situation though and can now focus on who YOU are and where you want to be. Weight loss is a personal journey and sometimes we have to suck it up and go it alone.
I went through the same thing with my now ex-husband and looking back at pictures I can kinda see why he cheated. I was 100 pounds when we met and got pregnant with our first son. By the time we divorced and 4 kids later I was 206. If he had gained 100 pounds I wouldn't have found him as attractive either ! He didn't sign up for a wife who didn't care about her appearance and honestly I lost the feeling of being attractive too and we weren't intimate anymore.
My current fiance and I agreed that if we ever started to gain that we would be honest with each other because we want to look our best to be healthy and happy for our entire lives together. So here we both are. My cooking and stress got the best of both of us. While her husband definitely approached it as an asshat, I think we have an obligation to ourselves and our spouse to be healthy.

Yeah no. Your ex is a jerk. You know what a good spouse does? Tells his partner when things start spiraling like my husband did : "hey babe, i notice how you look at yourself and you don't look happy. Do you want to try and start losing weight? I'll do absolutely anything I can to help you along". This was at 1 year postpartum when I hated myself in my daughter's birthday pictures. 5 months, 22 lbs down and it's all with his help. He has lived up to his word when he said he'll do whatever it takes to help me. He loved me at 145 lbs, 196 lbs and now at 174 lbs.

THANK YOU. Lot of adultery apologists on here. You know what? Obesity is a sickness. Whatever happened to "in sickness and in health" ?

Exactly! You know what gets me even more? That a lot of these cheaters cheat on their wives after she gained weight giving birth to his child. 4 pregnancies can really do a double take on your body. Some women can think about it and lose the weight while the rest of us need to work really hard. But no, nobody's got time for that!