Who Should Move?

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Replies

  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,307 Member
    Please take a deep breath and look at your life as it exists now before making any decision.
    You are 22 with an 8 year old child,having a baby at 14 can never be considered an ideal set of circumstances,I am not being judgmental it just is a fact.
    Fortunately you have loving and supportive parents to help with this and you are by the sounds making the attempt to find a career.

    Finish your education,am not sure what opportunities you have for your major but find out,make sure you can exist with your child on your own before you enter into a situation with someone that you don`t know all that well yet.
    Certainly it is possible to have a life long relationship but it is also possible you could find yourself being 28 with a 14 year old,a 5 year old and a 40 year old guy looking for another 22 year old lady.
    Not saying it is inevitable,he could be a fine man for all I know but have to say as an observer reading your story there is much that sounds troubling about it.

    Do you know without a doubt at this point what type of step father he will be to your child?
    So much to consider and just feel at this point you moving that distance to be with a person you have limited contact with will be a disaster.
    If he wants to move closer to you so that you can begin to determine what life is really like with him then that is good,otherwise in my opinion stay put and try to organize your life.
    You have many years ahead of you,make sure they are good ones for you and your child.
  • ladylu11
    ladylu11 Posts: 631 Member
    As a mom, your child has to come FIRST! Before you! and before the BF! I have three kids (they are all in college now) but I have spent the last 24 years making decisions that put their best interest ahead of my own. Once kids come into your life, it is not about you anymore!
  • HorrorChix89
    HorrorChix89 Posts: 1,229 Member
    Somethings I want to point out

    1. this wasn't meant to be a thread opened for people older than me to preach about how young I am (I know it's a public forum and people will always do the exact opposite of what you ask :laugh: ) I heard it all before and will continue to hear it

    2. I'm not planning to make a move ANY time soon. Like I stated before I was bored and decided to ask, so don't worry I'm not going to do anything stupid...at least not just yet

    3. No matter what happens my son will come first which is the #1 reason I don't want to just pack up and move. My son would need a new school, leave his friends and family, have to adapt to a new lifestyle, and all that other stuff that comes to mind when a child is uprooted from their "normal" life.

    He's my boyfriend. It's a long distance relationship and we're getting through it best we can. Yes he asked me to marry him back in October I think...I told him WAIT he head NO and then got all depressed for two full days. I'm paying attention to every little detail and keeping my guard up. Don't worry, I'm not as dumb as some of you might think I am. Things are good right now and if they stay that way then we'll see where it leads. If things go sour, well being 600 miles apart will make the break up just a tad bit easier than living in the same city.

    Okay I'm done rambling for now. Carry on with your advice, I am taking it all to heart, honestly.
  • tinlee
    tinlee Posts: 60 Member
    Maybe instead of thinking about a permanent move you guys could spend the summer together. 3 months is a pretty long time to live together and you could get an idea if you're truly compatible.
  • HorrorChix89
    HorrorChix89 Posts: 1,229 Member
    Yeah I was planning to go up there for a good part of the summer. Possible get a part time job and see how life is with him. Plus since my son will be out of school I can drive up there with him and then bring him back home if he misses my mother or his friends.

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