OMG! I don't want to die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

kdeaux1959

Balance in all things... except Arsenic.

AntWrig

Hmmm, early death, or prime rib?




It was nice knowing you guys.

Damn that looks good.

Redbird99ky

I read once that eating dog food was the healthiest thing a person could eat,it had all the right proportions of essential nutrients and vitamins.
Figured what the heck I would give it a try.

Everyday for a year I ate nothing but dog food,meals and snacks.
Had a nice selection of dry and moist varieties.

Soon I found I could run faster and eventually all my senses were heightened,could smell something cooking from nearly a mile away and hear a fire siren from 5 miles away,it was like a miracle.:drinker:
Sadly it almost killed me though and have to warn everyone else about the dangers.:frown:









One day I was out in the street licking my butt and a car hit me.

I LOVE THIS^^^ I LOVE red meat also. Given that I am 53, I think I have beaten the odds! However, I am almost ALWAYS happy and upbeat, and I DID hear a report on the radio that "Happy people have a 15% lower risk of dying." (I kid you not!)

JMarigold

Reminds me of joke . . .

AntWrig

just stop eating animals all together and you'll be fine!

Yeah, I am really going to ignore millions of years of evolution.

If were were meant to eat plants, our eyes would be to the side.

Emabo

Good thing I typically only eat chicken..

BuddhaBelly79

If you want to die faster, Walk outside and breath the air around you. Use a grill to cook your food. Use shampoos, deodorants and toothpastes, and artificial sweeteners, as well as UN-artificial sweetener (because sweets kill you too). Drink liquids that contain additives and dyes and artificial coloring. Eat vegetables that may contain pesticides or God knows what. Drink milk from cows after they have been fed hormones and whatever else they are pumping into those 4-legged *kitten*. Drive your car on the Highway, interstate or country road. Inhale gasoline by accident at the gas pump. -- My point....You are going to die. From SOMETHING. Probably something retarded. You may live a long beefless life, then get bladder cancer when your in your 80's and that will be what kills you. EVERYTHING AROUND US is dangerous these days....even the air in your own home. We are born, to die. Sad but true - thus, I eat steak. Moo.

stubbysticks

I thought only Asian people opened bananas from the bottom. Who leaked our secret???

ironanimal

just stop eating animals all together and you'll be fine!

VEGAN POWER!!!!!!!!!!

rml_16

I better warn my 96-year-old grandmother that she's been putting her life in danger all these years! Before it's too late!

I was thinking the same thing only my grandma is only 92! She is recovering from her first major health issue. She had a stroke but the therapists all told her she is the fastest recovering patient they have had, young or old! Ohhh, and she did this with eating meat! Miracles do happen ya know!! And she even lived alone till the stroke. She is back in her house and hoping to live independentally soon!!!

Mine has had sky-high cholesterol forever and never had a stroke or heart attack.

She did nearly die about a year ago. For some reason, her heart wasn't functioning right and they put in a pacemaker. Her kidneys and liver were failing and the PM wasn't quite working right. My aunt signed a DNR and the docs were certain she wasn't going to make it. A month later, she was back home and her OLDER sister died. Her older sister wasn't even sick. She just didn't wake up one morning.

I guess I have some good genes.

Anyway, I have a magnet that I love:

Life -- sexually transmitted and always fatal.

ZombieChaser

Dying with steak on your breath is the best way to go...

Ron Swanson wishes he said this.

LOL This^^^