Kissing issue

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Replies

  • coachblt
    coachblt Posts: 1,090
    I had a spouse who was like this...we divorced. Come to find out, she did like to kiss...everyone BUT me. HAHAHAHA
  • heavenlyhazel
    heavenlyhazel Posts: 89 Member
    My husband is like that. When we were dating, we kissed more often. However, he is not a great kisser. The person I sort of developed my "technique" with I was with for over 5 years. He was an amazing kisser!!! My husband doesn't seem to care about it much but I don't know if it is because I don't enjoy kissing him as much as I enjoyed my ex. Not sure. But, I think it's like anything else...some people really like to do it and some people don't. If it is something you aren't willing to live without, then get out now as it won't change. If it is not a deal breaker, then learn to enjoy what he does do and don't yearn for what he doesn't. As my friend said at dinner last night, "Women marry a man hoping he will change and he doesn't. Men marry a woman hoping she won't change and she does. " In my marriage, that has been so true. So, good luck!
  • Reeny1_8
    Reeny1_8 Posts: 277
    Kissing is nice, maybe he prefers a little more foreplay with hands vs mouths? Anything is worth a try, good luck!
  • cschaeffer28
    cschaeffer28 Posts: 7
    Has anyone ever read the 5 Love Languages book? It focuses on how people show their love and how they want others to show love to them. Some people are really big on physical affection. If you feel like you are being loved by your significant other when they show you physical affection, and they are not wanting to do this, it can lead to an unfulfilling relationship.

    I'm not a big self help reader, but this really is a good book. Just because your boyfriend doesn't like kissing, doesn't mean that you are doomed. However, if it's important to you, then you need to be able to talk about it. If he realizes that it's important to you, there has to be some compromise.

    Above all, try to focus on the positives. You mentioned that there are a lot of other great qualities in your relationship. If the lack of kissing is not a deal breaker for you, then try not to think about it too much.
  • gameovergt
    gameovergt Posts: 502
    gotta kiss & hug
  • coachblt
    coachblt Posts: 1,090
    Very good book and interesting read. Most people are combinations of a couple or more, but there is one that always stands out. I recommend reading it as well.
  • kaetra
    kaetra Posts: 442 Member
    Women are aroused by the hormones in a partner's saliva and it acts like a drug to get everything else going. Seems to be an important step if you ask me :wink:

    I am definitely not aroused by saliva. icky icky yuck yuck. Hugs, cuddles and pecks are great but if someone else's saliva gets in my mouth it makes me gag, even when I'm madly in love with them. It's just a thing with me. Tongue kissing is incredibly disgusting to me, I can't even stand to watch other people tongue kiss. Just looking at that makes me gag.

    My aversion to mouth-to-mouth saliva has nothing whatsoever to do with how I feel or don't feel about a person.

    I remember a high school experience with a particularly aggressive kisser and I bit his tongue so hard it bled. I felt awful for doing it, but it was a knee-jerk kind of reaction I couldn't control.
  • ZugTheMegasaurus
    ZugTheMegasaurus Posts: 801 Member
    I am NOT an affectionate person. I've always been rather touch-averse, as long as I can remember. My boyfriend, on the other hand, is extremely physically affectionate. It was a problem for years; I'd jump back when he tried to hug me or turn away from an attempted kiss. Honestly, I do not comprehend how so many people can be comfortable with physical contact.

    Still, I can understand how it's important to him, so I had to learn to compromise (it's a sloooooow process though; been together almost nine years, and I just got to the no-problems-with-hugging achievement about a year ago). He also had to learn that my discomfort isn't any sort of commentary on him and that it doesn't MEAN anything (which seems really hard for people who express affection physically to understand).
  • mrmanmeat
    mrmanmeat Posts: 1,968 Member
    Ok....my boyfriend is not big on kissing. He will if I ask but it always seems like a chore for him. We have talked about it a little and he says it's just not something he really likes and it's no big deal for him. I just don't get it!! How can you not like kissing??!!

    Does anyone else have a BF/GF or spouse that is this way? And if so, how do you deal with it.

    Nope, kissing is fun for us.
  • elfo
    elfo Posts: 353 Member
    My ex was HUGE on kissing-- I wasn't really into it!
  • Natx83
    Natx83 Posts: 1,298 Member
    Don't understand. I love it.
  • i_love_vinegar
    i_love_vinegar Posts: 2,092 Member
    i didn't like kissing my first boyfriend because he was an awful kisser. second boyfriend was ok. current boyfriend is a really good kisser so i like it now XD

    Maybe practice the way he likes most...he might be more open to it. Having tasty breath and soft lips/clean tongue helps too.

    Good luck ^_^
  • gtwin
    gtwin Posts: 290 Member
    I'm not big on kissing at all, never have been. But over time, I've learned to like it just to please my boyfriend.
  • gtwin
    gtwin Posts: 290 Member
    Kissing is a big deal for women. Any man that doesn't like to kiss or be affectionate, what's the point really? It must all be about sex?


    Not all women....
  • EJOHN18
    EJOHN18 Posts: 1
    same situation... 10 years into the relationship I have accepted this from my spouse. He's not a very affectionate person or romantic. But, finally when it comes to foreplay, the kissing has gotten pretty good. I think it just took practice and to see what was the reward when the kissing was good to understand that it's not just about the other foreplay for women and that kissing plays a huge part in getting a lot of us turned on in the first place. Still... he's just not that big a kisser and I have to work with that. Doesn't mean he doesn't love me or has problems, it's just a preference. So, like anything else you accept it as part of the other person's personality. :)
  • lisakyle_11
    lisakyle_11 Posts: 420 Member
    I'm not a particularly affectionate person and I tend not to be amenable to public displays of affection. But this was the perfect spot to quote comedian Jim Jefferies on kissing:

    "Guys used to like kissing, then someone sucked our ****s. Why would I want to go to the playground when I've been to Disney World?!"

    Cheers.
    -wtk

    true... :laugh:
  • katherinemm31
    katherinemm31 Posts: 163
    When hubby and I met, our second date resulted in literally 8 hours of kissing off and on! It was pretty awesome. We still kiss, which I think is important in a relationship.

    Question to OP (sorry if it's a repeat): is your boyfriend hung up on saliva? Does he think kissing is gross or something?
  • nk17
    nk17 Posts: 141 Member
    I'm not a huge kissing fan. My hubby has learned to accept this about me. Once in a while I just go with it though because it makes him happy.
  • AlayshaJ
    AlayshaJ Posts: 703 Member
    I kind of have this problem. Some days I just don't llike kissing. It just grosses me out some days. Like "DUDE, YOU HAVE MOUTH GERMS AND I HAVE MOUTH GERMS AND IF THEY COLLIDE TOGETHER THERE IS DISGUSTING BETWEEN OUR LIPS' *Shiver* Ick. I don't have that problem most days, but I do some days. Its not that reason for everyone. I know a couple people who don't like kissing. Its no big deal.

    I would ask him WHY he doesnt like kissing. Then go from there.
  • SarahMorganP
    SarahMorganP Posts: 921 Member
    I don't like kissing. I don't like sex either though so I'm sure not "normal". LOL My husband would kiss all day long and have sex 10 times a day if I would be willing. Still we have managed to have a very happy (for the most part :wink: ) marriage, and we have been together for almost 16 years now.

    I love my husband so much it hurts, my not wanting to kiss him or have sex doesn't mean I don't love him or that there is anything wrong with him. It's me, just the way I am wired I guess. I'm so glad he loves me enough to put up with me. :heart:

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