Rant: MFP Forums.

RyanDanielle5101

This is how I look at it.....There are always going to be rude people and *kitten* that come across our path in life and I CHOOSE to not let it bother me!!! I really could give two ****s what some stranger a few hundred miles away says to me in an internet forum. That is the problem these days; everyone is so damn sensitive and whiney!! Not to mention the fact that so many people lack the understanding of sarcasm (I've become totally aware of this since joining MFP). We are adults, time to put on the big girl panties and suck it up.

lentigogirl

Thanks for expressing this. MFP is a great tool but I don't see myself as ever participating in the forums because of the hostility I faced when trying to be helpful. Life is just too short.

katysmelly

You've just described every internet forum I have ever posted on My advice would be for the newbies to lurk for a couple of weeks at least to get a feel for the atmosphere, see the topics posted, and have a chance to research previous threads that apply to them.

Exactly!

I never lurk. I just jump straight in. I take my newbie beating, stick it out, and eventually settle in.

But, if you don't want to get a newbie beat-down, best to lurk a bit.

heleflump

I find it is somewhat ironic that, on a site where a lot of the people who are members have probably suffered that gut wrenching feeling you get when someone is cruel about your weight and see yet another little bit of their self esteem get chipped away, so many people are willing to snipe, jibe and demorallise others.

Whilst few of us are real medical/psychological experts - the one thing we all have in common (and have "qualified"in) is weight-related issues/hang ups and prejudice - we should be more understanding of one another and pool our shared experiences rather than try to score cheap points - we were all newbies on here once - we're not all Einsteins and I imagine very few of us are deliberately trying to annoy people with our (yes) sometimes obvious questions.

Remember, most of us are staggering around in a sea of information overload, pitifully pouring over our computers trying to figure out what to do - it can be isolating enough without others piling on their angst and veiled accusations of inadequacy.

Treat people as you would want to be treated (whether as someone who needs to lose weight, is losing weight, has plateau'd or has hit goal and is trying to maintain) None of us are perfect - that's what makes us ALL fab!!

IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym

I like what you said for the most part, but I can say the "tough" love isn't going to send me to some random pro-ana site. Some things I've read may cause a trigger and make me not want to eat temporarily (like for an hour, not days like in my past).

People are people...

kriskaryl

Some people just enjoy being bullies and making other people feel small and insignificant. If a person doesn't have a reasonably intellegent, factually based or personally based response that is helpful...then just don't participate in that thread. It is not mandatory to respond to everything. Do unto others...

katysmelly

I strongly urge anyone who finds themselves getting upset to use the "Ignore User" button.

Sometimes it's fun to get into a little bit of a flame war. But, if you're being "triggered" then IGNORE USER IS YOUR FRIEND. If you want, say "Your posts upset me. I'm putting you on ignore." Then, do it. You'll get the last word and go on with your life.

Also, find or start a group that attracts like-minded people and do most of your posting there.

femmi1120

I strongly urge anyone who finds themselves getting upset to use the "Ignore User" button.

Sometimes it's fun to get into a little bit of a flame war. But, if you're being "triggered" then IGNORE USER IS YOUR FRIEND. If you want, say "Your posts upset me. I'm putting you on ignore." Then, do it. You'll get the last word and go on with your life.

Also, find or start a group that attracts like-minded people and do most of your posting there.

I've actually been wondering about this! Is there such a thing and where is it? I have no desire to surround myself with like minded people. I am open minded but I do have a very low tolerance for d-bags. It would just be nice to weed out some of the trolls. Also, what happens if their posts get quoted by another user?

BrianSharpe

Maybe I don't read enough of the threads but I've been pleasantly surprised by the general civility here. There are people with strong opinions (myself included) and I am one of the ones that think support can, at times , include information the OP may not want to hear.

Want to see snarky.......go to a scuba forum and tell them that you're open water certified and just dived to 250 feet on air! :laugh:

cmriverside

I strongly urge anyone who finds themselves getting upset to use the "Ignore User" button.

Sometimes it's fun to get into a little bit of a flame war. But, if you're being "triggered" then IGNORE USER IS YOUR FRIEND. If you want, say "Your posts upset me. I'm putting you on ignore." Then, do it. You'll get the last word and go on with your life.

Also, find or start a group that attracts like-minded people and do most of your posting there.

I've actually been wondering about this! Is there such a thing and where is it? I have no desire to surround myself with like minded people. I am open minded but I do have a very low tolerance for d-bags. It would just be nice to weed out some of the trolls. Also, what happens if their posts get quoted by another user?

To "ignore" a poster in the forums, click the little arrow next to their name in the forums. A drop-down menu appears. Click "Ignore".

Yes, you will be able to see a quoted post. And you can un-ignore in the future.

katysmelly

I strongly urge anyone who finds themselves getting upset to use the "Ignore User" button.

Sometimes it's fun to get into a little bit of a flame war. But, if you're being "triggered" then IGNORE USER IS YOUR FRIEND. If you want, say "Your posts upset me. I'm putting you on ignore." Then, do it. You'll get the last word and go on with your life.

Also, find or start a group that attracts like-minded people and do most of your posting there.

I've actually been wondering about this! Is there such a thing and where is it? I have no desire to surround myself with like minded people. I am open minded but I do have a very low tolerance for d-bags. It would just be nice to weed out some of the trolls. Also, what happens if their posts get quoted by another user?

Click the little drop-down arrow below the poster's avatar.

And, yeah, if someone is quoted, you'll almost certainly see it. I've been on boards where a trollish person is nearly impossible to ignore because other people like to feed them. At times, I've had to ignore their primary feeders, as well. Generally, though, it works OK.

cmriverside

Maybe I don't read enough of the threads but I've been pleasantly surprised by the general civility here. There are people with strong opinions (myself included) and I am one of the ones that think support can, at times , include information the OP may not want to hear.

Want to see snarky.......go to a scuba forum and tell them that you're open water certified and just dived to 250 feet on air! :laugh:

Bah ha ha! That is the truth. Or mention split-fins or integrated BCs. Then swim away in a hurry.

katysmelly

Maybe I don't read enough of the threads but I've been pleasantly surprised by the general civility here. There are people with strong opinions (myself included) and I am one of the ones that think support can, at times , include information the OP may not want to hear.

Want to see snarky.......go to a scuba forum and tell them that you're open water certified and just dived to 250 feet on air! :laugh:

Every subject has its hot-button topics!

On Catholic message boards, it's usually "kids at Mass and their behaviour."
On knitting message boards, it's copyright issues of the "If I knit a hat from a pattern, can I sell it?" variety.

It's really funny to see - every sort of forum has 'em!

k8blujay2

Oh my goodness! Anyone who thinks these forums are harsh hasn't been on very many forums... These are tame compared to mommy forums... or political forums... or even spiritual forums.... You want mean... try the Babycenter birth clubs or Sodahead... then you will think this is the utopia of forums.

AlsDonkBoxSquat

You think this is bad you should try a parent website, this is the gooey center as compared to people who have differences in opinion on how to raise children.

cmriverside

Think animals are cute? Try posting about shelters or training methods on Dog Forum. Mention letting your cat go outside on Cat Forum.

k8blujay2

Think animals are cute? Try posting about shelters or training methods on Dog Forum. Mention letting your cat go outside on Cat Forum.

Or even better, declawing (which by the way, I'm personally against (before I get attacked here for even merely mentioning it))...

BrianSharpe

Maybe I don't read enough of the threads but I've been pleasantly surprised by the general civility here. There are people with strong opinions (myself included) and I am one of the ones that think support can, at times , include information the OP may not want to hear.

Want to see snarky.......go to a scuba forum and tell them that you're open water certified and just dived to 250 feet on air! :laugh:

Bah ha ha! That is the truth. Or mention split-fins or integrated BCs. Then swim away in a hurry.

Everyone knows split fins will kill you.

cmriverside

Think animals are cute? Try posting about shelters or training methods on Dog Forum. Mention letting your cat go outside on Cat Forum.

Or even better, declawing (which by the way, I'm personally against (before I get attacked here for even merely mentioning it))...

Oh, yeah, I knew there was something else! We had a declawing fight here on MFP once. Fifteen pages in, they shut it down. It didn't affect how I feel about declawing one way or the other.

You know really, I've been here since "before" moderators. I actually prefer the, "Let them duke it out" approach on some other forums. Like ScubaBoard. If adults want to argue for 75 pages about the differences between two types of fins on a Scuba Forum; then I say pull up a chair and laugh, or read through it and try to weed out the grains of wisdom from the personality disorders.

It's always the same ones who will argue the same argument.....so you have to pick a side, make your point and leave. Otherwise that one guy who has all day on the computer will argue until you give up. What's the point? Even if you are right - who cares, really.

I would prefer that these forums be left to their own devices. A good argument is not something to shy away from. Even 75 pages of argument could serve to persuade someone to eat their exercise calories. If I don't feel like reading it, I don't. I liked the "old days" when there was almost no moderation.

I've learned a lot here. Arguing is human nature. I don't know you people and you can't affect me from your little computer keyboards. Meh.

.

JessG11

I agree with the OP too. I started spending more time on here to get away from the drama and negativity of facebook...and it's gotten to a point it's not much better...I try to spend more time in the group that I'm member of...always positive there!