Survey time: Should a guy pay on a first date?

MogwaisGrandma

Yes! The women should offer to pay and the man should refuse to let her. :happy: That's how it works people.

I am not going to go back and read the last thread and go forward to read the other replies because THIS is how it should be on a first date.

chrishgt4

all this reasoning out etc - there is no reason. It's just how it is. In the past it might have been because guys earned more or whatever, but the truth is that it is expected, and really, we don't mind.

To be honest I'm not loaded - I've got a mortgage, fast car and all the expenses that come with those and only one income to cover them. So I don't take a girl out for an expensive meal. To be honest - I don't like that much anyway, maybe once in a while as a treat, but it's just not my thing.

The last first date I went on was 2 glasses of coke each in this nice old country pub, then a drive out to this cool high bridge looking over the motorway for a kiss and a cuddle watching the car lights fly by (high bridge sounds way dodgier than it really is).

Point is it cost me the price of 4 drinks and we both loved it.

She always says about how I pull these really cool dates out and it's all just stupid stuff like going to my local pub for a drink, bit of pool and some darts. That could be a terrible date, but it's about how you play it in the end. If you make it fun that's what counts.

princessruthiebelle

Yes! The women should offer to pay and the man should refuse to let her. :happy: That's how it works people.

this :smooched:

hennyben

all this reasoning out etc - there is no reason. It's just how it is. In the past it might have been because guys earned more or whatever, but the truth is that it is expected, and really, we don't mind.

To be honest I'm not loaded - I've got a mortgage, fast car and all the expenses that come with those and only one income to cover them. So I don't take a girl out for an expensive meal. To be honest - I don't like that much anyway, maybe once in a while as a treat, but it's just not my thing.

The last first date I went on was 2 glasses of coke each in this nice old country pub, then a drive out to this cool high bridge looking over the motorway for a kiss and a cuddle watching the car lights fly by (high bridge sounds way dodgier than it really is).

Point is it cost me the price of 4 drinks and we both loved it.

She always says about how I pull these really cool dates out and it's all just stupid stuff like going to my local pub for a drink, bit of pool and some darts. That could be a terrible date, but it's about how you play it in the end. If you make it fun that's what counts.

That sounds like a great first date - much better than dinner imo!

But yes, the man should ABSOLUTELY pay on the first date, and hold the door etc. I mean, it should at least start at that then after 16 years he can try hit her in the face with the same door 'by accident' (*joke - that never happened)

kkarrolle

Shouldn't have to, but great if he genuinely wants to. I will offer to pay or split the bill (and mean it), but I will not argue if he continues to offer. If there is a second date, I make it clear that it's my shout. If he is insistent on paying, that's fine...next date I hope to have planned and it will be dinner at my place and/or a show/movie that I've already paid for.

Matt_Wild

You should do what's agreeable for you both. There is no right or wrong. Me and the misses share paying for meals. A man paying because he's a man is an out of date view from when women didn't really work and didn't have a disposable income.

If you do all the paying, does that make her a hooker as eventually you may get her into bed?

REET420

doesn't matter as log as it's not the same partner always paying for the other ones meals

DalexD

I think it kind of depends who asked who out on the date... I wouldn't expect to be asked out for a meal and pay for my own. But if I asked someone out, I'd like to pay.

Though I'll admit, I do like it when a man is chivalrous. But not too much.

DalexD

You should do what's agreeable for you both. There is no right or wrong. Me and the misses share paying for meals. A man paying because he's a man is an out of date view from when women didn't really work and didn't have a disposable income.

If you do all the paying, does that make her a hooker as eventually you may get her into bed?

^^^^
This!

Nyxish

Not having read the last multiple pages, i can say i always offer to pay at least my share - i figure first date is about both of you trying to figure out if you'll get along, usually - but i do appreciate when the guy offers to pay. Even in my long term relationships, i do enjoy treating my mate here and there, but he usually pays.

As long as the overall treatment is respectful and caring, i take "the man always pays" as a sign that chivalry is not dead, like holding a door. If he is otherwise a controlling douche, then it's just another sign of being controlling... and i'm gone.

MrsLVF

I pay.

Why, because no matter what society says about equal this or any other crap. I am a man. I do not need your permission to be a man. I will not have you dictate to me how to be a man. If you do not wish a second date, that is fine. The first date is to see if we both qualify for a second date.

Now, if we have been together for a long time, and we go out and you wish to pay.......
I will still pay. Because I am a man. I do not need your permission to be a man. etc.

I love this, it sounds like something my man would say.
We live together, and yes i do pay for things, when my Alpha male lets me. But for the most part it's groceries, or I'll pay a utility bill. As for a night out, he always pays. Not because I demand it, but because he does. The only time I've ever paid was when I took him out to dinner on his birthday, and he almost paid that time, i got back yo the table just in time for the check.

JulieF11

I've been married for almost 17 years and have two beautiful children. My husband paid for the first date... the ingredients anyway... he "made" me dinner himself. Neither one of us had a lot of money, but he showed me respect by treating me. The next date, we met at the gym and worked out side by side. We played checkers at his house the third date, and he made a cheesecake topped with raspberries.

Later in life, when we had two small children, he was laid off from his job... however, our relationship only strengthened during those months. We enjoyed our time together taking walks, having indoor picnics with the kids, even camped out in the backyard. I never paid for a date with him, and although I worked until just after our second child was born, we are still a team.

He has always made me feel like I am worth the effort, and I respect him for his ability and willingness to care and provide for me and now his children as well. We don't have money coming out our ears, but we live within our means and know how to have a fully satisfying relationship without needing much extra spending money.

glengiles

In the last century, when I last dated, guys paid for every date.

HMonsterX

You should do what's agreeable for you both. There is no right or wrong. Me and the misses share paying for meals. A man paying because he's a man is an out of date view from when women didn't really work and didn't have a disposable income.

If you do all the paying, does that make her a hooker as eventually you may get her into bed?

Best post here. Perfectly worded.

Bluescat1

Guys should pay on EVERY date.

HMonsterX

Guys should pay on EVERY date.

Why? Aren't we all supposed to be equal in this day and age?

SexyCook

I say yes....but I must say if a woman is inviting a guy out....I don't think it means necessary the guy is going to pay.....It would be up in the air once we are out...

Bluescat1

Guys should pay on EVERY date.

Why? Aren't we all supposed to be equal in this day and age?

Sure. I also open doors and pull out chairs for a lady, it's just good manners and respect.

JoshuaL86

Yes!

laurastrait21

first date? YES!!!!!!!!!!!!! after that, fair game.