time to rant

amymeenieminymo

My dad and my aunt are at my new house helping work on it (I am still at work) and my boyfriend was on his way over so he called me and asked if I could ask them to get out of the driveway if they were in it since he needed to back in to unload some stuff.

I called my dad and he complained that he had too much stuff strewn about and he didn't have time to move his truck, and then he said my bf could unload in the street!

Ahhh, I can't take this anymore....my boyfriend and my dad get along in the sense that they are civil to each other and most of the time can get along ok. But when my bf talks about my dad, it's like he's always gritting his teeth cause of the tension, and when my dad talks about my bf it's always with a "this kid doesn't know crap" attitude.

They're both alphas male types so I get that my dad is battling with losing his little girl and my boyfriend is battling with the fact that this is OUR house and my dad is kind of taking over and stepping on his toes.

In most other issues I see both sides, but I am pretty PO'd that my dad was so rude and said he could unload in the street, at his very own house! I think that's pretty disrespectful. I've already talked to my dad about letting my bf do stuff and not stepping on his toes and he was like no no, I don't want to do that, he's welcome to do what he wants I'm just trying to help. But today did not seem very helpful.

I find myself in very forgeign territory....I've always gotten along with my dad for the most part so being annoyed and arguing with my dad is a strange concept to me. I think partly my dad just feels he knows how to do things better/faster/smarter than my bf does, but also, the house is in my name only becasue my bf doesn't have great credit. He will be splitting all the bills though, so in my eyes it's just as much his house as mine, but I don't think my dad sees it the same way.

That's really unfair I think because I would say most couples aren't perfectly balance in their finances. If it were my bf that had the good credit and the house were in his name, I doubt my dad would consider it to be his house only. Ugh.....sorry for the long rant, just needed to get it all out.

maurierose

Probably way too late for this, but maybe if it happens again, you could ask your dad to do the majority of the unloading if he is not willing to move out of the driveway?

Always sucks when there's tension between parent(s) and your loved one. Hang in there, and don't be afraid to step on toes where needed.

MTGirl

I don't have any advice for you! Just wanted to say Yipes! I'm sorry you are stuck in the middle like that. That is a tough spot. Nothing like a little remodeling/housework to bring out the best in all of us :ohwell: Hope they can find some middle ground and make it work - hope they get done with the work soon! Congrats on the new house though :drinker:

amymeenieminymo

Thanks for the replies. Yeah I'm hoping once the work to move in is done this problem will fade away. We really need my dad's help because of the time crunch, but once it's all done, I am hoping he'll understand that it's our house and if we need help we'll ask for it. Luckily we live about 20 minutes from him, not THAT far but at least we're not right around the corner.

Like I said it's so weird because I've always gotten along great with my dad, so I feel lost. The good thing is though, we're not alone in this....issues between bf's and fathers is probably an age old problem. though I never in my wildest dreams thought it would be MY dad that is the problem "inlaw".