Family is trying to sabotage my 'diet'

jynxxxed

You eating the junk in her mind justifies HER diet. Nobody likes to be the only unhealthy one in the group, so she will try to outcast you until you conform so she'll feel a little bit less alone in her bad eating habits. It's a lot like jealousy, really.

It's very selfish.

Wabbit05

I mentioned to my mother I wanted to lose weight and tone up and basically told me I was being selfish for spending money on a gym membership and putting my daughter in day care for another hour a day. Made me feel like crap.

bieker

Good for you for not having any cake and cookies. You should just ask you mom not to bring anything over because it is tempting for you, if that does not work, dont invite her over intill your ready to have a cookie or peice of cake.

WendyTerry420

Is she overweight too? If so, it might be a co-dependant type thing, like with drug abuse. I have seen where one person decides to quit using, then the other starts using right in front of them to get them to go back. Just a thought...
:ohwell:

Di3012

I mentioned to my mother I wanted to lose weight and tone up and basically told me I was being selfish for spending money on a gym membership and putting my daughter in day care for another hour a day. Made me feel like crap.

Well it was NOT crap for you to do this. Did you end up doing what you wanted to do or not?

Di3012

This is what I mean.. I've said it before, this is why I don't generally tell family I'm TRYING to lose weight. My mom comes over for dinner tonight. She brings a big bowl of cookies and a cake. It's like what the heck? She knows I don't want that junk, she knows it's hard to say no to chocolate chip cookies, but still. You'd think she'd want to help, or support me... Bleh


and NO I didn't have any!! :laugh:

Anyone else go through this too? It's driving me bonkers.

So..... It bothers you when she brings cake and cookies over because you mentioned you're losing weight, but it would be perfectly OK for her to bring over cake and cookies if you don't tell her you're trying to lose weight?:huh:

What are you on about LOL

I'm on about the part I bolded. She's saying she told her mom that she was on a diet, and her mom brought cookies over. So, if she didn't tell her mom she was on a diet, and her mom brought cookies over, is that more or less bad?

Ahh sorry, I misread, I thought you were talking about the OP's original posting which said -

" This is what I mean.. I've said it before, this is why I don't generally tell family I'm TRYING to lose weight. My mom comes over for dinner tonight. She brings a big bowl of cookies and a cake. It's like what the heck? She knows I don't want that junk, she knows it's hard to say no to chocolate chip cookies, but still. You'd think she'd want to help, or support me... Bleh

melann1974

I posted about my mom bringing junk food and being offended when I told her several times "no thank you"...

Well I saw her the other day and she made the comment that I am obsessed with exercise. I have just started taking pole dancing classes (fitness). First of all, she thinks it is a stripper class (and it is far from it, lots of hard work and nothing sexy about it... at least not yet..haha)... Anyways, she said that my older brother and I are obsessed with healthy stuff and with exercise and we definitely don't get it from her... Then she states "well, I guess I would if I had the time". She made these comments several times throughout the day. I typically try to make a joke and move on. But sometimes it is hurtful that a loved one cannot support you when you are trying to make better decisions.

MrsFolk

Thank goodness my family is very supportive. My husband will help me prepare my own meals and if I visit family, they make sure that food for me is available. I can't imagine them not being supportive, that would be really frustrating!

fanomy

So.. I've been on a pseudo bffm diet for a few months now & lost 3 kg. At first my sister and Grandma told me several times that I need to loose weight. After I lost like a kg, they said I look great. But while my grandma keep on encouraging me. My sis seem to get jealous, three days ago she visited me at work & asked if I need something from the store. I asked for a drink. I got a coffee milk drink and candy. I did eat it, but thankfully it was a very small stuff so I just skipped a meal later. 'bleh'

cwoodruff24

Personally, I would have tackled her to the floor and threw out the cookies. My biggest reason for being so obese is the fact that I cannot control myself around things like chocolate chip cookies. I cannot eat just one, I must have the entire box, in one sitting. However, I have had similar experiences. My ex use to buy ice cream for me in the past when he would see me being motivate to lose weight and losing weight. I could go on between him and my mother on how they tried to sabotage me. The truth is that they were both over weight and didn't want me to be "skinny" because they didn't want to do the work to be skinny either, and they felt more comfortable being fat if we all were! Don't let anyone sabotage your life change! Maybe in the future you could handle just having one cookie, but I don't think that would be a smart idea until you know you can handle it and truly eat just one!

fit_and_fab_after_kids

OMG, i hate that but mine is more negitive comments like "no she won't have that she's on a DIET" grrrr actually no i'm eating healthy to set a good example for my children, so in your face!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kalraii

Oh my gosh been through this thread and I can relate 100% Scept it's my nan - she is skinny herself but is one of those force feeders and does it to everyone around her. My mother, uncle and myself are all in the obese category. Every time I try to lose weight and tell her she fills the cupboards with cakes, chocolate and other crap all over the kitchen so there isn't one place I wouldn't be tempted! In the past she has even cooked THREE dinners in one night. Looking back I was an ignorant child but we can't even talk about food without arguing anymore.

Good luck with everything I feel for you. In the long run any temptation or attempts to control us through food (no matter how well intended) will only make us stronger. But blimey its hard.... xxx

JadeRabbit08

As a person who doesnt have a lot of self control. (Well hello that was a major contributer to why I need to lose weight in the first place) Having junk food around doesnt work for me as its never "just one cookie".

It happens. Years ago when I still had a 24 inch waist, I was out with my cousin and she would not take no for an answer while insisting that I try this "amazing" cheesecake. I told her I don't even like cheesecake but she went ahead and ordered it anyway and placed it in front of me. She continued to make a fuss until I said ok and ate some. Many weeks later she confessed that she had only bought the cheesecake because she had noticed that with my running I had lost the small amount of kidney fat I had put on and she was afraid that when we walked down the street that men would look at me instead of her.

If she hadn't straight out told me I wouldn't have ever suspected her as I didn't know people even thought that way.

Its true you need coping strategies when you are at events or out with friends but a visitor coming to your house bringing obvious high calorie junk food when you have told them you are endevouring to lose weight, well thats rude and inconsiderate.
Outside your home you cant have the world conform to your dietery needs but you do have the right to dictate what comes in your house. Be straight - just say "I know you equate bringing treats with affection but when you do this it doesnt make me feel loved it makes me feel like you don't care about my health or goals."

In my family there is always oranges, bananas and apples and stone fruit in season in the house but a few of us buy each other expensive fruit as treats instead of junk food. Stuff that you may not buy everyday due to expense. So for us thats mangos, cherries, passionfruit, dragon fruit and berries. Also good quality gourmet yogurt tubs. If food is a way of showing love in your family maybe try letting them know about what you would welcome.

My brother came home with an outrageously huge mango out of season for me and said "I got this for you."
It felt like a hug : ) (it tasted noms too)