When to speak up?
Replies
-
SAY SOMETHING!0
-
No, I would say something. A history is a history and he is acting suspicious already.Quick question.
You said it happened before?, so definitive proof exists that this person had done it in the past & this is an established fact?.
If so, then I think you are OK to warn the other person.
It's not like it's a random accusation against an innocent person (if they have done it before) - I'd be very strongly against it if the person had no history at all (as you may be ruining an innocent persons life) - but if they have done it before, technically they are not innocent.
If they certainly 100% did it in the past, I don't believe you have much (morally) to worry about warning them - it's not like it's a baseless random accusation - but the 100% certain thing is a must ^.
Would you take into consideration the person was a teen/minor when the previous incidents happened and now is a 30 year old man?0 -
"previous incidents" plural, implying not a one off.Quick question.
You said it happened before?, so definitive proof exists that this person had done it in the past & this is an established fact?.
If so, then I think you are OK to warn the other person.
It's not like it's a random accusation against an innocent person (if they have done it before) - I'd be very strongly against it if the person had no history at all (as you may be ruining an innocent persons life) - but if they have done it before, technically they are not innocent.
If they certainly 100% did it in the past, I don't believe you have much (morally) to worry about warning them - it's not like it's a baseless random accusation - but the 100% certain thing is a must ^.
Would you take into consideration the person was a teen/minor when the previous incidents happened and now is a 30 year old man?
While people do change, if you genuinely think something is going on - then you should say something - you don't have go all public, just speak to the relevant authorities.
I'd assume they would question the children & find out if anything is going on, but I don't think you would be suspecting something for no reason.
While they may have young when they did it, it does indicate they are a disturbed individual - one thing that's worth remembering - children who abuse other children are also very often the victims of abuse themselves (statistically speaking) - while it may not be the case for him, it's worth considering & tempering any anger you may feel & focusing it into finding out the truth & simply doing what's best for the children.
Keep it on the low, involve the people who need to know & keep it at that - mob justice won't help.0 -
As a person who was molested as a child and whose molestor was a female family member's second husband who also molested her children, I would say tell her. Tell her, tell her, scream it from the roof tops and tell her. If he's mad at you for telling because she leaves him, that's a small price to pay for potentially saving 2 innocent children the lifetime of pain and suffering I've endured.0
-
Quick question.
You said it happened before?, so definitive proof exists that this person had done it in the past & this is an established fact?.
If so, then I think you are OK to warn the other person.
It's not like it's a random accusation against an innocent person (if they have done it before) - I'd be very strongly against it if the person had no history at all (as you may be ruining an innocent persons life) - but if they have done it before, technically they are not innocent.
If they certainly 100% did it in the past, I don't believe you have much (morally) to worry about warning them - it's not like it's a baseless random accusation - but the 100% certain thing is a must ^.
Would you take into consideration the person was a teen/minor when the previous incidents happened and now is a 30 year old man?
If you think that matters then say, the incidents I know of for sure occurred when he was 15, since then there have been questions, but I have no first hand knowledge." once you have said something it's up to them. Mandy, at the very least call the 1 800 number and let them advise you. This is said in the least offensive way possible, but I don't know if a family decision on how to handle it is the best. It was swept under the rug before when you were an eye witness. Unless everyone's views have changed I don't see how they act on a gut reaction. Again, I am a big proponent of trusting your gut. And an objective.opinion/advise might be best in this situation. You are getting plenty here by the way.0 -
Going to join in with everyone that says to at least call CPS. Speak up. You know he's abused before. All the other suspicions don't really matter, you know he abused before. Speak up for those kids' sake.0
-
Well It is now being looked into. So thank you all for your advice, I feel like there is a lot of weight off my chest but anxiety is setting in... To make matters more complicated, he proposed to the girlfriend this weekend! :grumble:0
