Celebrating Mediocrity in Children

MaraDiaz

I think our society is ultraviolent, competitive, and ruthless and that those are the traits that will eventually destroy our species. Therefore, yes, I will celebrate last place with a child (we're talking about a child here, for crying out loud!) with the same enthusiasm as if the child finished first.

That doesn't mean I let kids slack off. I teach my child to play chess (something I've done since he was 5 or 6). I don't let him win. That way, when he does win a game, it's because he learned well and then outplayed me.

To me there is a difference between celebrating a last place finish when the child is just learning to do something vs celebrating last place after the child has been doing it for a while. I will absolutely cheer if its the first time (few times) or if the child is simply not capable of doing any better due to a physical condition or something but coming in last every single time without any improvement is not cause for celebration. To me it says 'lazy and not willing to work harder to get better'

There have been many studies published that say that a child's personality is fully developed at a very early age - 6 or 7. By then all the experiences that they have had in their early years are ingrained and all the issues with them. In my beliefs, a child that has not been encouraged to improve as they are growing up will be missing that skill later in life. Children that think that just showing up will guarantee them a prize (job, money, position) are going to be in for a rude awakening as they get older. I'd rather not encourage that way of thinking at all.

Well, some children will always finish last because they simply aren't cut out to be world class runners, or even good runners at all. If they're forced to race other kids in PE or if they just like to run, I say encourage them no matter how they finish, or they might end up discouraged (not to mention fat!) on the sofa as adults, thinking running is just not for them.

As for those studies, they're bunk. My personality has changed from my early childhood to my teenage years and into adulthood and it will change more before I die. We are all shaped by our life experiences. Maybe not in the huge ways we are shaped in very early childhood, but we do change personality, and humans are the greatest influence on that.

Otherwise, I would never have become the lovable bitter misanthrope that I am today!

And competitiveness is required to succeed in our society, yes, and that's the problem. Instead of striving for excellence in what we do, we are taught to strive to outdo each other. I think we'd be better off striving for excellence for its own sake, not because "I did it better than all the other kids!"

focus4fitness

I have three boys, they are all different and they all have different talents and are good at different things. I celebrate my kids and I don't need to gauge my praise that I give to them based on someone else's idea of what deserves recognition or not.
I do think its important for kids to know how to lose as well. (and I praise a good loser too)

I really have no issue with kids getting participation ribbons or trophies. To me it is more for the memory than anything. They all recognize that all of the kids get them, so I doubt they let it go too far to their head.