How to tell her she's gaining weight...

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  • Immaskinnycow
    Immaskinnycow Posts: 29 Member
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    To be honest here, I don't think it matters what you say, how you say it, or how concerned you are for her. She DOES know she is gaining weight, getting heavy/heavier. Until SHE is READY to make a change for herself, it isn't going to happen. If you tell her tomorrow she has gained weight, she could go on a crash diet to shed pounds "for you", but that isn't going to last or work for very long. By the time she's done she'll have lost weight then gained it all back plus some. She could also turn to eating to ease her guilt for not being "attractive to you" regardless of whether it's true or not. I know it's hard living a healthier life style than our spouses but it is a personal choice. Everyone has to make that choice for themselves.
  • thebigcb
    thebigcb Posts: 2,210 Member
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    I know I know

    Congratulations, when are you due? Nobody told me, its great news

    That should do it
  • victoria4321
    victoria4321 Posts: 1,719 Member
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    People who say that if you really love her you don't care what she looks like etc are living a pipe dream. A complete and healthy relationship involves that sort of love yes, but it also includes physical attraction. If you allow that attraction to die, you are allowing the relationship to faulter. Don't you owe it to your mate to preserve your mutual relationship as best you can? And perhaps your relationship can survive the loss of the physical. Perhaps not.

    Physical attraction dying a permanent death is one thing. Your need to be physically attracted to your partner at all times regardless of what is going on in your lives is not doing such a great job of preserving that mutual relationship either. I can promise that I would be miserable in a relationship where either myself or my spouse felt we had better keep that attraction going at all times or it would be over. I won't accept those unreasonable expectations for myself and I don't expect them of him, either.

    I wonder how men would feel if a woman said, "You went bald. I didn't sign up for that. Get hair plugs or I won't be attracted to you and it's over." My guess is that a lot of men posting in this thread would judge her as controlling, manipulative, shallow, or as a *****. But he's not the exact same person she fell in love with! What else is she to do?

    I don't think going bald is the same thing. Some women go bald and lose their hair to other problems and they're still attractive.

    Usually when a person gains tons of weight they are not taking good care of their own body. Most men don't mind if their wife gains a few lbs. Even 10-15lbs isn't a bid deal. When people talk about the person no longer being attractive its usually someone who went from a normal/healthy weight to being very obese. I'd honestly say I'd probably be less attracted to a person if that was the case. For someone to let themselves go that much is tough on both people in the relationship.
  • ladyfingers73
    ladyfingers73 Posts: 80 Member
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    Say it without SAYING IT......."honey go to the gym with me....... lets go to the park.....can we have baked chicken and a salad for dinner tonight"...

    Your #1 job is protecting her....physically, emotionally,financially, and spiritually! She will only go as far as you lead by example not with words.

    You are the bomb...really...amazing attitude.
  • rebeccasedwards
    rebeccasedwards Posts: 208
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    She knows. We all know.
  • OTchic
    OTchic Posts: 205 Member
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    i wish my husband told me i was fat. i was huge for 2 years and never knew i was. i mean i was in big pants but i was really oblivious and then i lost 30lbs and im back to normal again. i see my beforepics n tell my family n husband OMG why didn't u tell me i was fat? i was HUGE!!!? so i wish someone told me.
  • MyM0wM0w
    MyM0wM0w Posts: 2,008 Member
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    Say it without SAYING IT......."honey go to the gym with me....... lets go to the park.....can we have baked chicken and a salad for dinner tonight"...

    Your #1 job is protecting her....physically, emotionally,financially, and spiritually! She will only go as far as you lead by example not with words.

    :love: :flowerforyou:
  • bethfartman
    bethfartman Posts: 363 Member
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    I would appreciate it. My boyfriend always swore he'd tell me if I was getting fat. 80 gained pounds later and he hadn't said a word. I knew I was getting fat, but I think if he said something early on I would have put a stop to it much sooner. Even now when I ask him about my fat days, he still says I looked ok he was just annoyed with me for being upset all the time because I didn't fit in any of my clothes. But if you notice, say something. Honesty rocks.
  • bethfartman
    bethfartman Posts: 363 Member
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    With that being said, I would tell my bf he was getting fat if I thought he was. He thinks he could loose a couple pounds now, but I don't think he needs it at all. I think love makes you a little oblivious.
  • AngryDiet
    AngryDiet Posts: 1,349 Member
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    So did you tell her yet? How did it go? Are you still alive?

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