Need to Lose 100 LBS -Robins Thread !

nsk1951

Here's to everyone having an enjoyable Thanksgiving Day tomorrow. It's such a nice tradition to set a to the stage for so many things besides the big feast. (big and delicious)

I always loved the tradition we had where everyone took a minute to think of one thing they were thankful for, and to listen to the others at the dinner table coming up with their 'thankful for' statements. For most people it would be the same thing ... family, friends, good health. There would always be someone who was grateful for the food. And usually at least one would try to find something that would bring a laugh from around the table. ... what ever it was, it was good to remember that there are things in our lives to be grateful for and to acknowledge that gratitude.

@JNettie73 ... Oh My Gosh ... your stove exploded at the electric line! Thank goodness your house didn't catch fire, nothing went rocketing across the room, and that no one was hurt.

@mnwalkingqueen ... Chinese Food is as good as any other to have for your Thanksgiving meal ... as long as the food you are serving yourself is something you enjoy and put together. One of my favorites is a spicy bean curd dish with brown rice. Lots of veggies in that one.

AFM .. On Monday this past week I finished my first week on the new weight loss program I have started. So far, I still like calorie counting the best ... and recognize that neither program stops me from eating what I want nor does it stop me from overeating. Well .. it's not so much that I am overeating, because I don't ever stuff myself (except at holiday party dinners) it's more that sometimes the foods I choose are very high in calories. To eat those and stay within a calorie range that allows for weight loss I would have to either go hungry or learn to eat those foods in more moderation than I am wont to do. It's a learning curve for me.

Looking forward to seeing where the next weeks will lead.

nsk1951

November mornings have ended today. Tomorrow will be December. I weighed myself and was 225.0 even. .. that actually results in a small gain for the month ... boo-hoo-hiss! ... I started November off at 223.6 and was up all month, with the average daily weight being 226 with a high of 228 during the fluctuations in weight. I haven't been out of the 220's since June ... but I'm still trying.

The thing is .. I don't want to go extremely low carb. I've been telling myself that maybe I ought to do it just to lose weight and then I can try to reincorporate the foods I gave up to achieve that loss ... but that's how I got obese in the first place. My mind just doesn't want to put my body through all that losing and gaining. As long as I end the year lower than when it started ... especially given that holiday gatherings and special food offerings are in the mix for the next few weeks.

nsk1951

I made an 'artisan' bread loaf today that I started yesterday. It came out better than the no-knead sourdough starters I tried to master a few years back ... and I kinda think it ended up being a sort of sourdough anyway. It baked up better than other's I have tried in the past, but is still just a bit on the dense side. Still, it tasted real good and is low in calories ... The finished bread weighed in at 26.6 ounces and that's from using just 3.5 cups of all-purpose flour, 1.5 cups of warm water, 1 tsp of rapid rise yeast and 2 tsp of kosher salt. ... It had to sit for anywhere from 5-8 hours before starting the final rise before baking but I ended up running out of time yesterday and put it into the fridge for the evening.

I was cooking up a storm in the oven so it was very warm in the kitchen and the bread was rising too fast ... But then I pulled it out at 1:30 AM and put it back on the counter to warm up and rise some more at a coolish room temp.

I had 1.7 ounces of it this morning to mop up my egg yolks from breakfast ... and it was crusty and tasty. But it was a small piece of bread ... just the corner from half of it. Now to keep myself from diving into it over and over again! I'm wanting to make a bread pudding with fruit and need it to stale up a bit before using it for that.

mnwalkingqueen

@JNettie73- warm bread pudding is my favorite dessert with vanilla ice cream on top.

December has been a really rough month for me so far and I’m glad it’s almost over. I have been missing because I have been mentally exhausted. My car is been in the shop three times a week each time where I don’t have a car because nobody has enough staff. I just got my car back on Friday and I am not even sure how long it’s going to last me but I’m praying that it last me long enough to save up some money to use towards another car.
My mom has decided that she does not want to do a holiday with me this year. She’d rather do things with other people. It’s just really hard because Christmas was my dad‘s favorite holiday and we always did things together as a family for the last 20 years and my dad has been dead two years now and my mom acts like holidays don’t matter anymore. She’d rather be around other people than her own family. Part of me should be happy about that because she’s so toxic to me but it’s sad and lonely. so this is the first Christmas that I will be completely alone and honestly, it really sucks. With all that stress I have been not paying attention to my food intake and because it has gotten so cold here in Minnesota and the snow has been falling like crazy. I haven’t been able to exercise much either. My scale no longer works. It needs new batteries for because I don’t have a car. It’s not top priority to get batteries. I know I have gained weight because my pants are super tight but I’m not sure how much I have gained.
I hope everybody has a good holiday for Christmas and new year

nsk1951

Sorry @mnwalkingqueen, to read that you are having struggles. Somehow this time of year (what with the holidays, and the short cold days) makes coping harder to do. ... I hope you have some relief from your stresses soon. Also, that you end up having a peaceful, hopeful, healthy and happy Christmas all on your own. And that if someone does end up celebrating with you then it is someone who brings you joy.

nsk1951

I'm feeling fragile today. I completely misremembered a doctor appointment this morning ... it's written down in several places and I confirmed for it yesterday via internet ... I saw many times that it was for 9:40 this morning. So why, this morning was I so certain that it was 10:40? I think I even remember looking at it (9:40-10:40) .. so why did I only see the 10:40 and arrive at 10:30 so as not to be late? Beats Me! ... I was so positive that I was right on time. Gosh almighty! ...

There was one other patient who came in while I was at the front desk who close enough to me to hear our conversations. When the receptionist stepped away from the desk, I pulled out my cell phone and checked my calendar ... Yep, I was late. The other patient started talking at me .. not to me ... because she started talking about 'dementia' and how her father had it and was always forgetting or mis-remembering things like appointments or where he put something. ... She was, basically, saying that I had just exhibited a symptom of dementia. ... And here's the reason I am feeling fragile ... I am frightened that this woman may be right ... I might be getting into that kind of mental disability. Oh My Gosh! Panic mode.

I am a volunteer at a local Alzheimer's Respite program at a nearby location where we keep a group of people occupied and active in a social setting for about 4-5 hours once a month so their care givers can have a few hours off. We socialize with them, help then with crafts and games and lots of other activities that all take about 10 minutes. We serve a snack, we serve a lunch. It's like being in a room full of grown up, and mostly aged, children .. except it's not children who have not yet developed their mental abilities; it's grandma's and grandpa's who are losing theirs. There are even folks who come who aren't in the grandparent age bracket yet, sometimes not even in the retirement from work age!

Well .. if that is what is starting to occur inside my brain ... one form or another of dementia is always a possibility for someone like me ... who has been obese and diabetic for a few decades, who is in the geriatric age bracket, who suffers poor sleep patterns, who has hypertension, who has a heart vascular condition .. BUT .. that does not mean that I do have it or that if I do then it will grow rapidly. Or grow rapidly enough so that it becomes the primary medical condition I need to monitor and manage and live with. ... And, thank goodness that I am a volunteer in that program ... it helps me to see what care-givers face and what those with the condition face. ... And for now, I will put my slip of clarity this morning off to a stress filled day yesterday and over-extended hours of sleeplessness. ... and talk to my doctor about it when I finally do show up for that appointment with her that we rescheduled today.

mnwalkingqueen

@nsk1951- Hope you were able to talk to your doctor. That must have been scary for you.

AFM- being alone at Christmas was really bad. I weighed myself this morning and I am up 13 pounds from my last weigh in. I already know it was because I chose to eat poorly and I didn’t exercise as much. Back to 250lbs

nsk1951

mnwalkingqueen wrote: »

@nsk1951- Hope you were able to talk to your doctor. That must have been scary for you.

AFM- being alone at Christmas was really bad. I weighed myself this morning and I am up 13 pounds from my last weigh in. I already know it was because I chose to eat poorly and I didn’t exercise as much. Back to 250lbs

Gosh ... I know you are feeling 'bad' because of being alone for Christmas and the recent weight gain. It happened to me too! I'm back up in the 230's ... and it all happened that I have been struggling since June's low weight. I ate an abundance of treats that I had prepared to take to a family gathering for Christmas that was canceled because of the blizzard ... and even with sharing much of them with some of my neighbors, I ate, and ate, and ate some more! ... Why do we let ourselves fall into these set backs? Good thing we have the gumption to get back up and try again. One of these times it will stick!

mnwalkingqueen

@nsk1951 - I know that our struggles will get better. I listen to a seminar on January 1st about weight loss. I learned that a lot of our setbacks are because weight loss starts from the inside out. It’s just not the mental part about we’re going to do this this time and we’re going to try hard. It’s also about understanding your triggers and how to work through them. I know it’s all stuff we already know but after gaining that 13 pounds I just needed to hear that. For me it wasn’t the treats. I like to make treats for other people but I’m not a fan of them for myself. It’s going from eating two slices of pizza on pizza night to an entire large pizza. Going to your favorite restaurant and not just having a burger and fries, but having cheese curds for an appetizer and then the burger and fries and a dessert .
Cheers to a new year new accomplishments.

nsk1951

Two slices of Pizza at one time? Only if I'm sharing a pizza with someone outside my home. So I know the angst of consuming an entire pie by yourself.

I hate to do it, because I'm a lover all bread products; but the thought has been weighing heavily on my mind that baked goods of any sort ought not be in my grocery cart ever again! ... That feels a lot like 'cutting off my nose to spite my face' thinking ... and not really a solution at all.

The better thing to do is to make gradual and small changes. Yes, bring less baked grain products into the house; in smaller amounts; less often ... but also attempt to eat smaller portions ... even if just by a small amount .. of all the things I consume. And continue making those sensible choices when it comes to food of all types. And eat a little less overall.

Of course, last nights two dessert bowls of mini pretzels with a side of a up to 1/4 cup of yellow mustard was not a healthy snack. I regret, this morning, having gone for a second helping because I mindlessly gobbled it up just as much as I had the first bowl ... which I willfully served up for the desire of it.

Small steps. One step at a time. Keep it simple. Remember what worked before, do it again. Never Quit

nsk1951

Well today is Friday .. the end of the week even though I no longer work; that habit of it being TGIF still resonates for me. Tomorrow is weigh-in day. It is with a certain amount of 'grit' that I will step on it in the morning. Judging by how my body feels, I have possibly gained or just barely stayed the same from last week. .. Recording what I ate into the app has just felt like such a hassle to do recently. I am recording the food in a journal but not calculating or limiting anything. Those are two ingredients for weight gain for me, generally. And somehow I just don't seem to care. I suspect it's the 'winter doldrums' from not being able to go out and 'play' in the natural outdoor elements. It zaps my energy to be so house bound as I am. That's gonna improve soon however. For a couple of reasons. One being that the season will start to move towards spring pretty soon now. Another is that I will be forced to venture out for PT and OT therapy appointments my doctor has prescribed. But then again, it's also possible that I am somewhat depressed, as so many people are this time of year. That, and the enveloping sadness I feel as a natural response to losses that strike at the emotions and need time to balance out. Whatever it is, it will straighten out and I will feel energized once again. And up-beat. And smiley instead of all a frown. Yep .. soon. Please, soon.

nsk1951

Saturday weight in ... showed a 1.2 pound loss ... but now I cannot remember if I had clothes on when I weighed myself last week or if it was just before I got into the shower. ... Guess I'll need to wait until next week to see where the trend is heading. ... I want it to head towards the photo of the scale I found from my last weight loss on-track image before I started my slow creep back up. That's was 16 pounds back ... and that's a doable goal cause I was there before and can crawl back to it again, and then move on.

nsk1951

Saturday weigh-in .. showed another loss this week on the Saturday weigh-ins. However, during the week I had a jump up that has left the weekly averages showing a slight bump up. ... with this constant up and down that my weight fluctuates I am still glad to see that today's weigh-in was a solid pound lower than it had been on January 1st ... even though, being a full 28 days into the month, I would have liked to see that doubled.

I used to do Intermittent Fasting ... not days long, but between 14-20 hours long. Somehow I slipped out of that when I went through a period of more urgent and frequent hunger signals and now am having a difficult time getting back into a reduced amount of meals. Thinking back, I think it's because I had slipped into 'bites' instead of meals when I did eat, trying to keep the 'damage' of excess calories lower. So now I am working on getting back into a routine and getting back into have a true meal and not a snack when I do get hungry.

mnwalkingqueen

it’s been a minute since Christmas I guess. I weighed in today at 242 pounds which is higher from my before holiday weight but my weight has been going down since the 13 pound gain from last October through December. The good thing is that I am not getting down on myself if the scale isn’t moving as fast as I would like it to, and I also know why the scale is not moving as fast as I would like it to mostly because I choose to eat, like an *kitten* hat, most of the time.
I’m on mandatory overtime for work and it’s hard to get my workout in and my personal time in along with the overtime. Also, think I am like others and I find myself in seasonal depression a little bit. I’m so sick of the snow and the cold. I’ve lived here for 50 years and the older I get the more I hate it. But I have that dilemma where I only pay $850 for my house mortgage and even if I sell my house I can’t get another mortgage in this economy at that price so I’m kind of stuck between a rock and a hard place.
I also am not using this app to log my food anymore. I am doing a food journal instead I don’t want to be a slave to the scale. As far as weighing my food goes to make sure I am within a calorie point system. I want to be able to make the choices on my own and only eat when I’m hungry. Some days that is a huge challenge but then there other days where I actually forget to eat. However, with 200+ pounds on my body I’m sure a few days without eating is not a big deal lol.

nsk1951

February 1 is here at last. The days are getting longer, they will soon become warmer as well. I will endeavor to see a lower weight scale number by 3, or 4, or 5 come March 1.

January was a 'bust' but it was also cuddlesome what with all the piled on sweaters and blankets to keep warm, and all the laying abed during the long dark hours. (Saw a 2 pound uptick from January 1 weigh-in to February 1 weigh-in) And I sharpened my bread making skills, created a few new recipes that made it into my keepers folder, and won a couple of games of Scrabble!

Decisions have to be made ... February will help me decide ... can I keep going to the Sr Center lunches twice a week or are they just too carb-heavy and thus need to be cut back to less times 'eating out'? ... the scale will tell!

JNettie73

Just popping in quickly to say hi!
I am still here and doing ok. I’ve lost some weight but not as much as I have hoped. A lot has derailed me. I’m pushing through the best I can. I will read and respond later when I have more time. I hope you all are doing well.

JNettie73

Tonight I am feeling a bit uneasy about a situation and am having a hard time winding down to get some sleep.

I feel guilty that I have not been on at all since November and have not kept up with the group. I am going to go back and read all the posts I missed and respond to you both.

@mnwalkingqueen
I am sorry to hear that you feel like you and your friend are drifting apart. I have a similar situation going on at the moment with a friend of mine. It hurts and is crummy. I hope things work out for you or at least you are able to part amicably and find your own happiness.

What kind of work do you do? I believe you've mentioned it before but I cannot remember what it is.

My turtle is perfectly fine! She was in my daughter's bathtub while I was cleaning out her tank. I do have more to my stove story that I will share later.

I am so sorry that December was very rough for you. I can relate on so many levels. My dad passed 5 years ago. I still have a really difficult time with holidays and birthdays because I miss him so much. The holidays were so different after he passed. I can also relate with your issue with your mother and her being toxic. It really is hurtful. I am sending you the biggest virtual hug.

I hope your car issues have resolved by now!

@nsk1951
I like the tradition of sharing what you are thankful for. We've tried it a few times however I've found in our group it was not well received. I also tried leaving thankful cards at everyone's seat. In the card I wrote something nice about them that we were thankful for. Most people loved it however my mother-in-law snickered about it and made some unkind remarks.

Reading through your posts you mentioned that you like calorie counting the best and that your selection of food tends to be higher in calories. Have you ever used a food scale? I find I do the best when I weigh out everything I eat and log it that way. It is a bit tedious and time consuming but I just wanted to throw it out there in case that is something you are interested in. I don't eat low carb at all, in fact, I eat a lot of carbs. It seems silly that I do that with my diagnosis, but from the research I've done and what I have been doing has helped tremendously. (More about my diagnosis later!!!!)

Your bread sounds delicious!

I am sending you a big virtual hug! That was very rude of the other patient to say. There are many factors that can lead us to remembering something differently. One shouldn't assume or imply someone has dementia because they got the time of their appointment wrong. I read your concerns. I am sorry this is an actual worry of yours. I am glad to hear you are intending on speaking to your doctor about it.

JNettie73

My stove saga!!!

Just to recap, I was cleaning the turtle tank and heard a loud pop, like a transformer blowing, from behind me followed by my power going out. This was the Friday before Thanksgiving and we were hosting. My husband ordered a new stove which was scheduled to be delivered the day before Thanksgiving between 2pm and 7pm. We were hosting and I always use the day before Thanksgiving to do all my cooking. We received notice that they moved us to 12-5 delivery, then they bumped us up to 10-12 delivery. Yippie! They ended up showing up shortly before 10. The delivery guys were so incredibly nice, brought in my new stove, took out the old, set up the new stove and.... YUP it doesn't work!!!! I ended up having to cook all the Thanksgiving sides in the instant pot which took all day and well into the night. We ended up bringing all the food to my husband's aunt's house and had it there instead. Thankfully she was so willing to open her home to accommodate us. We had to reorder a stove, the following week it comes and the same thing....it doesn't work. We cancel that order and order a different brand as we were told there must be some type of manufacturer defect. The following week our 3rd stove comes and that doesn't work either. The delivery guy asked what I wanted him to do and if he should leave the stove. I told him a broken stove was of no use to me and that he would have to take it back. The other delivery guy starts speaking in Spanish to the first guy then curtly says "Check it." The other delivery guy pulls out a device and checks my outlet. Sure enough it is not the stove but an issue with the outlet. They leave the stove and we call an electrician in. A few days later the electrician comes and we explain the situation. He looks at the outlet for the stove and starts pointing out everything that was wrong with the outlet. The outlet was loose, there was no metal box around it, the wiring wasn't up to code. He also checks our breaker and discovers our box is so old that they no longer make them. Not only do they not make them but the model we have is known to be faulty and cause house fires. Due to this they cannot even get replacement parts for them any more. So not only do we have to replace the breaker box but we had to replace all the electrical throughout my entire house. The electrician was actually very surprised that our entire wall was not black. He believes what I heard was the electricity coming out of the loose wires and going back into the very first source it found. He thinks it went back into the outlet. He said we are very lucky that it did trip the breaker because our breaker is known not to trip when it is supposed to. He stressed that we were super lucky that our issue wasn't worse and implied we could have lost our house. Thankfully the electricians were able to start the work the following day (Friday) however informed us due to the amount of work being done this would take a week to complete. Of course Saturday night my daughter wakes up with a fever and very sick. I took her to the doctor on Monday and she was diagnosed with the flu. I spent the rest of the week trying to keep my sick child in the opposite side of the house away from where the electricians were working and keep her entertained the best I could with no electricity. Mid week my husband becomes sick but thankfully his only lasted 24 hours. Friday my husband went into the office, my daughter went back to school and the electricians finish up the last of their work. It was a glorious day! Saturday night I start feeling off. I take my temperature and I have a 102.9. We are a few days away from Christmas. We are supposed to host, my house is a disaster from having a sick child at home and major work done on my house and now I have the flu. I told my husband we were just going to have to cancel Christmas at this point but he didn't want to quite yet and insisted we wait a few days to see how I feel. He felt that he rebounded so quickly and I would to. Well, that was not the case. I missed the entire week of work. The last day I potentially could have gone in as I was fever free for over 24 hours but my stomach was terribly off. My husband spoke to his family and they all wanted to still come. So we ended up hosting. I felt really good Christmas day, despite a terrible lingering cough and everything ended up working out well.

But my saga doesn't end there. In the meantime, around the same time as the stove/ electrical our dishwasher broke. It wasn't draining water. Thankfully we are still under warranty. The repairman came and ordered our parts however they were on back order. Two weeks ago they came in and the man came back to fix it however one of the parts came in broken. We've been waiting for the new part to come in and are scheduled to have that fixed on Valentine's Day. We have not had a dishwasher since November. You don't realize what a luxury it is until you don't have it any more. I am beyond over washing dishes!

But of course my saga also doesn't end there either. Our dryer also broke around the same time the stove/electricity incident. The dryer is also still under warranty. The repairman also came to fix it however he was not the type of person you would have confidence in to fix your appliances. He knocked on our door and my husband was greeted with "Do you have a bathroom?" and had the personality of a bowl of noodles. He also had to call into the service several times for assistance on how to fix our dryer. There were a lot of "Uhhhhh.....uhhhhh" while he was on the phone. I did not get the impression that he was very skilled at his job. He ordered the part and left. I said to my husband "Do you want to place bets? I say when he comes back he has the wrong part." Sure enough the following week he returned and had the wrong part. We had to wait another week for him to return. He returned the week I was sick. I made my husband deal with him. Thankfully we have a working dryer now.

I apologize for any errors I have. I am getting tired and don't have it in me to go back and correct my mistakes.

JNettie73

One last ramble.

January was iffy. I had some type of stomach virus for a week that left me unable to eat without getting sick. Between the flu and stomach virus I did hit 200 lbs on the scale. But sadly I am back up to 206.

I had originally calculated and planned on reaching Onderland by Christmas. With all that was going on that didn't happen. My birthday is on Saturday, it is going to be my 50th! I had planned on reaching Onderland by then. Well as of today I am 206 on the scale. I highly doubt I will reach my goal by then. I was really disappointed with myself. But as I think about it now, I am realizing it is not that bad. Yes, I am not where I had hoped to be at all. Compared to where I was when I first restarted my journey I have come such a long way. I am really proud of myself.

What mnwalkingqueen said about identifying triggers resonated with me. Just this morning I had a similar conversation with a friend of mine. I don't know what my deal is. I don't know why I seem to be self sabotaging. These past two weeks I cannot seem to stop mindless eating. I could have understood this more if I engaged in this behavior in December and would have chalked it up to stress eating but that wasn't the case. I was surprisingly good with that. It was just not being able to cook the way I normally would that did me in. Also it didn't help we had a lot of treats in the house due to the holidays that I snacked on here and there. The beginning of January was hard because it was the 1 year anniversary of my mom's passing and my dad's bday. There were a lot of emotions there but I didn't feel triggered food wise. In fact, I was feeling healthy again and got back into my workouts. I was feeling really happy too for many reasons. It's really puzzling because I cannot pinpoint what is triggering me.

To further explain why I have been feeling really happy... Part of it is due to realizations that I have come to in my life. Realizing how things are and what I need to do to make myself happy and doing them. Another part is how I am combatting any stresses with exercise and how the exercise in general makes me feel. But a huge part of my happiness is the results of my last blood work. I have been officially cleared by my doctor. My A1C is no longer considered diabetic NOR am I considered pre-diabetic! I have worked so incredibly hard for this. I did a happy dance around my house when I received the news from my doctor.

nsk1951

Gee @JNettie73 , Thanks for the virtual hug! I don’t recall what venting post it was now, but whatever it was, hugs are always a good thing to get, and give.

Yes, I do use a food scale. Being a woman who cooks 95% of my meals, and never seem to repeat a recipe exactly as the time before … I need to weigh ingredients, or sometimes use other measuring tools .. to get the correct balance of ingredients in preparing the dish. Serving measurements depend on the kind of food it is. … For example, if I weighed everything making a soup, stew or casserole, I don’t generally weigh the portion iself but use volume measuring tools instead. I know how many servings it made based on the measuring tool and count those. However, when I use a portion of my homemade bread, that needs to be weighed as I never can cut a slice evenly. Same thing goes for a single serve of a protein or other food you divide to eat. A piece of fruit .. not so much because I always buy the smallest ones available, except for those small ones like grapes or berries.

I am still considered Diabetic, even though my a1c is in the normal range. That’s because my blood glucose still spikes to above 180 after some of the foods I eat without coming back down to a normal range within 2 hours. Also, my morning fasted measurement is above 100.

And, OH … My .. GOSH … what a winter you have been having! Many, many HUGS to you!

AFM .. It is so good to have longer daylight once again. And a few more days with actual sun shine! I live in an area that is overcast most of the time!