I'm everyone's soul mate, until they realize I'm curvy!

mgobluetx12

^ That.

Don't get to know someone over time with just a face picture. A lot of guys are incredibly superficial, so just write them off.

DIYmomma

wow, ive been fat my whole life, and never had to deal with something like this! normally I have the problem of too many guys wanting what they cant have. Maybe your going after the wrong type of guy? some guys are just more worried about their image than having a real relationship.

miriamwithcats

Wow....I guess I touched a nerve! I was just venting.

1. I am not online dating or fb dating, I just hit it off with someone who was a friend of a friend. I thought i was upfront about the myself. He said it didn't matter, but in the end it did. Just the wrong guy for me, but still hurts to be rejected.
2. I have full body shots on fb, but none that let it all hang out.
3. I seem to attract guys that like little girls, even in person. That's the part I don't get.
4. It didn't happen to me three times. The other comments came from guy friends, who thought they were being helpful, but just made me angry!

Thanks..I'm all good! ; )

When I first got divorced, I looked at the personal ads in the newspaper (aging myself here). I noticed a pattern so I started keeping statistics. Ninety percent of the ads men posted seeking women stated some sort of "thin, athletic, petite, small, No big girls need apply, etc." NINETY PERCENT! I was shocked! I then started taking statistics on the wedding announcements in that paper. They listed ages. Seventy five percent of the men over 40 married women in their early 20s. It appears that trophy wives for older men are the norm, not the exception.

rrrufty

If you do online dating, it's best to be totally honest and have a recent full-body picture up on your profile. It will save you a lot of hassle. Don't hide who you are, even if you're not comfortable in your own skin or at your goal weight yet.

Right on! If only all women were this honest and forthright...

tajmel

Wow, that's... awful. Seriously, where have you been finding these men? IMO there's nothing wrong with having preferences, whatever. But no one has the right to treat another person that way. It's called being a *kitten*.

waronmyfat

babe just say this to them " i can always lose the weight but you'll always remain an ugly F***er!!!"

nineteen70nine

I had that all through college and late highschool. Talked to this one guy on the phone for 6 hours straight one night, was told I was amazing and was practically just like him but a girl. Met a week later and 20 hours of phone convo later, you'd think I was a deer that had just been scraped off of the windshield. This has actually happened to me twice in my life and lemme tell ya, just be forward and honest in the beginning and you wont get hurt like i was!

RikanSoulja

Here, I'll solve your problem for you:

1. Stop posting misleading pictures. If you want to meet people in real life, then use recent, accurate pictures. A beautiful headshot that disguises your bodytype is not accurate--its a lie. If you're overweight, and your picture doesn't reflect that fact, then you're lying. If you're lying, then ANYONE (not just men) who you meet is going to feel betrayed and misled.

2. Stop using fraudulent language. "Curvy" is not a synonym for fat. If you're big, say you're big. If you're fat, say you're fat. If you're overweight, say you're overweight. But don't say you're "curvy". Curvy is Betty Paige, or Coco Austin, or Niki Minaj, or Kim Kardashian. Are you built like them? If not, then "curvy" is not the right word for you.

3. Stop blaming men. They're not being jerks; you're being deceptive. If they are surprised at your bodytype when they meet you, then you've deceived them. You said yourself that there are plenty of men who are into you just the way you are--and you are right. Why not give them a chance by portraying yourself more accurately?

Thank you man.I couldn't have said this better myself.

RiannonC

be proud of your curves real women have curves

Amen!!! This ^^

Some men can be shallow. Just be glad you see the real them on the first meeting so you don't have to waste anymore of your time.

Some men can be shallow? So can some women it seems.

so me saying I think women with curves look good makes me swallow?????

Okay, there's a huge difference between saying that you personally think women look good with curves, and saying "real women have curves," which is what you actually originally said. The former is you having your own opinion, which you are entitled to, of what is aesthetically pleasing, while the latter is insulting to all naturally slender women and just plain rude. Maybe you didn't mean it the way it sounded.

brighteyes31143

bump

SouffleBoy

be proud of your curves real women have curves

And the ones that don't are obviously fake and not real....

I think you missed my point, men dont want stick figures we want women who have shape to them not to look like a plank of wood flat all over

...because you know what everyone man wants...

jcstanton

I am so frustrated with men!! I am tired of them thinking I am their soul mate based on my fb profile pic, talking me to go out with them. Then when we meet, they realize I am a real 40 yr old , curvy girl and feel the need to tell me what I need to change to be worthy of their middle aged advances!. Third guy to say something to me like that! I've lost 30 and feeling good. I like my curves and guess what...some guys love my curves! This one guy that I went to school with messaged me and asked me for a full body shot, I said that I didn't know him, and he said..what did you get fat or something? Like I have to justify anything to him! Another guy friend of mine said that all guys want supermodels, but then they settle for what they can get. He told me that no one would ask me out if I was overweight, unless the guy had been turned down by the other thinner girls...and that thin wins over pretty every time! I swear, I'm gonna take them out!!! It messed with my head a bit. I felt like I gained 600 pounds immediately. I hate that I let some idiot(s) get to me. I have to remember that I'm doing this for me. To be healthy, and athletic again. And....I happen to know that's not true anyway. I've dated many guys,who were not pretending to be into me..they were INTO me! And heavier than I am now..I'm all done..sheesh!!!

See, I find it odd that you happen to find the few middle aged men out there who would say something like that. In my experience, I've been hit on by more men 45 and older (when I was standing right in front of them where they could clearly see my body type), than I ever have by men my own age. It's clear to me that these three guys are simpletons and don't know what they're talking about. Don't let 'em get you down. Like you say, you're doing this for YOU, not some idiot who will only "love" you if you fit within his physical ideal.

PilotX

be proud of your curves real women have curves

Amen!!! This ^^

Some men can be shallow. Just be glad you see the real them on the first meeting so you don't have to waste anymore of your time.

Some men can be shallow? So can some women it seems.

so me saying I think women with curves look good makes me swallow?????

Okay, there's a huge difference between saying that you personally think women look good with curves, and saying "real women have curves," which is what you actually originally said. The former is you having your own opinion, which you are entitled to, of what is aesthetically pleasing, while the latter is insulting to all naturally slender women and just plain rude. Maybe you didn't mean it the way it sounded.

Ok ill clarify women big or small can have curves, having curves doesn't mean your fat and me saying real women have curves is not an insult as taken by many on here towards thinner women you can have curves too.

Awkward30

Here, I'll solve your problem for you:

1. Stop posting misleading pictures. If you want to meet people in real life, then use recent, accurate pictures. A beautiful headshot that disguises your bodytype is not accurate--its a lie. If you're overweight, and your picture doesn't reflect that fact, then you're lying. If you're lying, then ANYONE (not just men) who you meet is going to feel betrayed and misled.

2. Stop using fraudulent language. "Curvy" is not a synonym for fat. If you're big, say you're big. If you're fat, say you're fat. If you're overweight, say you're overweight. But don't say you're "curvy". Curvy is Betty Paige, or Coco Austin, or Niki Minaj, or Kim Kardashian. Are you built like them? If not, then "curvy" is not the right word for you.

3. Stop blaming men. They're not being jerks; you're being deceptive. If they are surprised at your bodytype when they meet you, then you've deceived them. You said yourself that there are plenty of men who are into you just the way you are--and you are right. Why not give them a chance by portraying yourself more accurately?

I agree. Curvy is a body type. You can be curvy and overweight, curvy and normal weight, and potentially have some curves while underweight although I feel that that is more rare because boobs and butt are just fat.

However, I also agree with this:

Wow, that's... awful. Seriously, where have you been finding these men? IMO there's nothing wrong with having preferences, whatever. But no one has the right to treat another person that way. It's called being a *kitten*.

While I do think OP could be more honest, I don't think people in general should hurt someone's self esteem when a simple "I'm sorry, I just don't feel the attraction" or something similar would suffice. I've opted not to date guys because I'm not attracted to them, so they can do the same to me.

NCISFanatic01

I am so frustrated with men!! I am tired of them thinking I am their soul mate based on my fb profile pic, talking me to go out with them. Then when we meet, they realize I am a real 40 yr old , curvy girl and feel the need to tell me what I need to change to be worthy of their middle aged advances!. Third guy to say something to me like that! I've lost 30 and feeling good. I like my curves and guess what...some guys love my curves! This one guy that I went to school with messaged me and asked me for a full body shot, I said that I didn't know him, and he said..what did you get fat or something? Like I have to justify anything to him! Another guy friend of mine said that all guys want supermodels, but then they settle for what they can get. He told me that no one would ask me out if I was overweight, unless the guy had been turned down by the other thinner girls...and that thin wins over pretty every time! I swear, I'm gonna take them out!!! It messed with my head a bit. I felt like I gained 600 pounds immediately. I hate that I let some idiot(s) get to me. I have to remember that I'm doing this for me. To be healthy, and athletic again. And....I happen to know that's not true anyway. I've dated many guys,who were not pretending to be into me..they were INTO me! And heavier than I am now..I'm all done..sheesh!!!

Then you are looking in the wrong place for a man. When I met my husband I was 274 lbs and he was just around 200lbs.
After we met I dropped down to like 230lbs but gained some of it back and when we married I was at 250lbs. He gained up to that while I gained up to 300lbs with my first kid. Never really got below that again as with each child I'd add and keep on like 20lbs. I am now at 362lbs and he still is as in love with me (even though he's back to 185) now as he was 18 years ago. You just need to stop looking and the right guy will come along. There are men in this world who love curves. My hubby who loves me as I am told me I am never to get too thin. Heh..yeah like that will EVER happen.

Awkward30

Ok ill clarify women big or small can have curves, having curves doesn't mean your fat and me saying real women have curves is not an insult as taken by many on here towards thinner women you can have curves too.

However, there are women who are more rectangle shaped, and nobody should insult that body type. It is beautiful too and no less womanly than woman who distribute their fat primarily in their hips and boobs.

NCISFanatic01

When you're online dating, just say up front that you're overweight and working hard to change that. The shallow ones won't waste your time and you can spend your energy finding someone who wants to be with you for you.

I use to tell my hubby when we met that I was short fat and all of that. with a bag of chips on the side.
He fell in love with me even at 250lbs.

SoViLicious

Don't date guys from facebook.

PilotX

be proud of your curves real women have curves

And the ones that don't are obviously fake and not real....

I think you missed my point, men dont want stick figures we want women who have shape to them not to look like a plank of wood flat all over

...because you know what everyone man wants...

so you don't like curves on a women :huh:

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