What if your daughter's boyfriend did this?

violetta88

Awkward.

So many factors to this. How old is he? How old is your daughter? Do you get on well with him? Aside from this has he been a decent guy?

You say "I found out ..." Now I'm guessing this is from your computer history or the google search drop down, which is easy to check whether you intend to or not. But be careful before mentioning anything - most teenagers and young adults get very, very angry if they think you're spying on them.

I actually don't think confronting him is a great idea unless you know him pretty well. If he was doing it for illicit purposes, he'll get defensive and angry. If he wasn't, he'll be embarassed and want to know why you're checking up on him. I would maybe have a word with your daughter though. Just let her know you've seen it, you're concerned about it and ask her if anything's going on she's worried about. But like I said, tread carefully and don't blow up.

Hopefully he's just a kid with too much curiousity about stupid stuff. I've just moved out of a houseshare with guys who googled all manner of random, insane and illegal crap, but they were all total sweethearts

magj0y

I am going to show this thread to my daughters so they will never accuse me of over reacting again.

AquaFitQueen

I just love how most of you condone murder.....for googling something.

I have googled crazy ****. I like to know about everything it makes for good conversation.

Yes he was stupid for using the mothers computer, but that is his only crime at this point as the OP has failed to post any more info. Its like she wanted to start a sh!£storm and everyone played into it.

MeMyCatsandI

I am going to show this thread to my daughters so they will never accuse me of over reacting again.

Genius!:flowerforyou:

JenniBaby85

Oh brother, Most people would be very upset if their baby girl (no matter the age) was with a guy who is looking up how to do something deadly, addictive and illegal. I'm surprised at the people who would not be even a tad bit alarmed.

On a serious note, I would not let a teenage boy, or a daughter's boyfriend, no matter the age, on my computer. At all. If it's for homework, send him to the public library to do this "research". If it's "educational" or a matter of "curiosity" the library should have no restrictions on that. I wouldn't know, because I tend to be law abiding, and not look up how to break the law.

I would talk to your daughter about it though. Ask her if he's been acting strange. Or look deeper and see if she has been acting strange (for a teenage girl) and act accordingly.

AquaFitQueen

Oh brother, Most people would be very upset if their baby girl (no matter the age) was with a guy who is looking up how to do something deadly, addictive and illegal. I'm surprised at the people who would not be even a tad bit alarmed.

On a serious note, I would not let a teenage boy, or a daughter's boyfriend, no matter the age, on my computer. At all. If it's for homework, send him to the public library to do this "research". If it's "educational" or a matter of "curiosity" the library should have no restrictions on that. I wouldn't know, because I tend to be law abiding, and not look up how to break the law.

I would talk to your daughter about it though. Ask her if he's been acting strange. Or look deeper and see if she has been acting strange (for a teenage girl) and act accordingly.

I would be alarmed....if the situation called for it. We have NO info...what if this kid is a 14 year old christian who wants to be a preacher? We have no friggin context!!!!! Now if this guy is dodgy, well then, I would have words, but again we have no context in which to make a proper assessment.

The rest of your post (this one) makes total sense. No one uses my computer, ever. If the FBI gunna come down on my *kitten* for googling then I want to be the one googling, lol.

But again, the OP has given us no information at all.

JenniBaby85

Oh brother, Most people would be very upset if their baby girl (no matter the age) was with a guy who is looking up how to do something deadly, addictive and illegal. I'm surprised at the people who would not be even a tad bit alarmed.

On a serious note, I would not let a teenage boy, or a daughter's boyfriend, no matter the age, on my computer. At all. If it's for homework, send him to the public library to do this "research". If it's "educational" or a matter of "curiosity" the library should have no restrictions on that. I wouldn't know, because I tend to be law abiding, and not look up how to break the law.

I would talk to your daughter about it though. Ask her if he's been acting strange. Or look deeper and see if she has been acting strange (for a teenage girl) and act accordingly.

I would be alarmed....if the situation called for it. We have NO info...what if this kid is a 14 year old christian who wants to be a preacher? We have no friggin context!!!!! Now if this guy is dodgy, well then, I would have words, but again we have no context in which to make a proper assessment.

The rest of your post (this one) makes total sense. No one uses my computer, ever. If the FBI gunna come down on my *kitten* for googling then I want to be the one googling, lol.

But again, the OP has given us no information at all.

Admittedly, the wood chipper thing was a little exaggerated :blushing:. I would actually do what my second post said to do . But it's no lie that I'd be ticked off.

BAMFMeredith

Reading through a lot of these answers makes me just say DAMN I'm glad none of y'all can look at my search history, because I look up some RANDOM *kitten*. Not because I want to become an Olympic synchronized swimmer or make a bomb or purchase a Russian mail order bride (yes, I have googled all of those things), but because I'm a curious person and wanna know stuff. Even if it's stuff there is no need for me to know. Good Lord people. Now, I'm off to google how to make meth.

Molly_Maguire

No problem. Overprotective parents led me to be a very rebellious young adult. I was "the good girl" until I got to college. Then I found out there was a whole different world out there that my parents shielded me from. Another friend of mine at the same church ended up pregnant at 16 and a meth addict at 18. Communication goes a long way.

I was "good" until 17. I thought it was insane that all my friends had curfews of 12 or 1, and I had to be home at 10, ONE TIME i talked my dad into 10:30. They could cruise town with friends, I wasn't allowed to have anyone in my car. I couldn't use the phone after a certain time. I was very sheltered until I realized just WHAT went on after I had to be home, so I just stopped coming home, stopped calling and telling them where I was, things like that. I got pregnant at 17. I had no talk of sex other than the basic explanation. If they had been a little more easy going and open, I know my life would have been completely different.

Oh, look everyone, how cute! One of those kids that blames their parents for the idiot mistakes they made on their own! Adorable! :noway: YOU will always be responsible for the actions you take in life, and blaming someone else displays a profound lack of maturity.

WendyTerry420

No problem. Overprotective parents led me to be a very rebellious young adult. I was "the good girl" until I got to college. Then I found out there was a whole different world out there that my parents shielded me from. Another friend of mine at the same church ended up pregnant at 16 and a meth addict at 18. Communication goes a long way.

I was "good" until 17. I thought it was insane that all my friends had curfews of 12 or 1, and I had to be home at 10, ONE TIME i talked my dad into 10:30. They could cruise town with friends, I wasn't allowed to have anyone in my car. I couldn't use the phone after a certain time. I was very sheltered until I realized just WHAT went on after I had to be home, so I just stopped coming home, stopped calling and telling them where I was, things like that. I got pregnant at 17. I had no talk of sex other than the basic explanation. If they had been a little more easy going and open, I know my life would have been completely different.

Oh, look everyone, how cute! One of those kids that blames their parents for the idiot mistakes they made on their own! Adorable! :noway: YOU will always be responsible for the actions you take in life, and blaming someone else displays a profound lack of maturity.

Actually, I use my experience to be a better parent. I don't blame my parents for any of MY choices. I love them dearly. And while I would not have made some of the mistakes I made without them placing a "bubble of protection" around me, at the same time, I recognize that it was those decisions that made me who I am today.

I am naturally curious. It is hilarious to me that some people think that curiosity should be squashed. It doesn't surprise me to find that some of them are involved in education - the number one source of squashing the curiosity of children!

I have my own 15 year old daughter now. She just now got her very first boyfriend. We talk about sex, and we talk about drugs. She knows about my past experiences and is hopefully smart enough not to repeat them. That is how it should be. Kids should learn from their parents. Parents should talk to their kids. JMHO

Effpcos

I've googled how to make meth before, and I'm a law-abiding mother of five, because I was suspicious of one of our neighbours odd purchases. Turns out I was right...

maremare312

How do you know it was him and not your daughter or someone else?

wewon

They'd no longer be dating because he is stupid. Stupid for researching it, but more stupid for doing it on my computer.

He's stupid for research? Stupid for literally trying to know something? Lord help us all.

Don't cha know that der' book lurnin' lead's to nuttin good?

perfectingpatti

It's not about "looking up random *kitten*". It's about my daughter's boyfriend looking up something like that in my home on my computer. It's disrespectful and done using poor judgement. There is much more to think about in his actions than just WHAT he was looking up.

peles_fire

I'd be searching for a remote spot to dump the body...

pudadough

There's a huge difference between just researching something for 5 minutes on a single occasion because you're morbidly curious or doing genuine research, and looking for it multiple times at length.

If he's looking into it at length, it's not a casual fascination. Don't play around with this. Confront him so he knows that you know, at least.

holeshottdr

I have a .45 and a shovel, doubt he would be missed....
Not joking.

jimmmer

Who doesn't password protect their computers nowadays?

Stop letting a stupid kid use your gear. Let him google stuff on his own computer. Problem solved

i_love_vinegar

It's disrespectful and done using poor judgement. There is much more to think about in his actions than just WHAT he was looking up.

Of course it was done using poor judgement -- he's a teenager! I understand your concern, but unless one of us is secretly him ( :glasses: ) or has supernatural powers in order to know why he looked meth up, asking him is probably a lot more efficient than asking us.

devil_in_a_blue_dress

It's not about "looking up random *kitten*". It's about my daughter's boyfriend looking up something like that in my home on my computer. It's disrespectful and done using poor judgement. There is much more to think about in his actions than just WHAT he was looking up.

Um, but there is nothing wrong with looking that up if he was just curious.I don't get why it's disrespectful or using poor judgement, assuming he had permission to use the computer. It's not like it's kiddie porn or something. He was curious about a how to make meth, he looked up how to do it. Unless you think he's actually making it, you're getting uptight for the sake of getting uptight and you should probably knock it off.