Newly Single

jb852013

and scared to death! I am 29 and my husband left me after being with me since I was 15 years old. I don't know the slightest thing about being single. I just finally managed to get over my fear of painting, and I am going to attempt to fix my own toilet and hang my own Christmas lights. Picking out a tree alone with my kids was fun. No more moody husband around that doesn't want to be with us. So advice? Maybe y'all can help me get though this transition in one piece.

kzcortes

May be too soon for jokes but...

Best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.

shammxo

May be too soon for jokes but...

Best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.

I agree with this. Legitimately.

You can get on with your life and keep growing into a wonderful person. You will make it through and be just fine... For you and your children. I know it's hard because he had been for almost half of your life, but now it's on to bigger and better things! You're going to like the freedom eventually. (I think)

julesboots

My marriage ended when I was 30, and my advice is: do not hesitate to start your life. I focused entirely on my daughter for the first few years (understandably since she was a toddler) but I do regret not making efforts to make new friends and date sooner than I did. You'll be okay!

TheKitsune6

Every day is a step. Count it for the victory as it is and use it to grow in the following times. You can do it. It'll be difficult, you will struggle, snaffu and take steps backwards... but at long as you focus on growth and you individuality... you will thrive.

AnnaPixie

Hey Jennifer, welcome! :flowerforyou:

Don't be scared. You have it right when you say you will be happier without a moody man around!

As for 'manly' chores, I think women are very resilient and able to do most things around the home. If you get stuck, call a handy man! But there are many instructional video's on youtube or the net in general. Plus, just inbox me, I'm Miss DIY!! :bigsmile:

You will cope! Just think, you get to choose what you watch on tv, what side of the bed you sleep on, when you wash up, do the laundry, chill out, and very much on topic, *kitten*!! :laugh:

Go girl!!! :flowerforyou:

RunIntheMud

Welcome!! :flowerforyou:

I was 29 when I divorced as well. I agree with all of the above advice. Find friends, get out there. Take care of yourself and your kids. I agree that taking care of the house sucks, but there is nothing like that sense of accomplishment when you finish a project. Good luck!!!!

DMZ_1

Focus on meeting potential dates in person first. Work your friend of friend network fully. You are more likely to find compatible dates through the friend of friend network and your day to day activities than any other source.

jenbit

May be too soon for jokes but...

Best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.

This isnt a joke. Its truth I tell all my guy friends that and its something I truely believe. You really cant get over someone until you cant put your sexual history with them in the trunk where it belongs. Atleast for me :bigsmile:

jkandktmom

The beginning is hard. Sometimes you get up and do things just because you have to. Before you know it you will be doing things because you want to.

I recently told someone that I wasn't a strong person, that my ex was the "rock" in our relationship. The person looked at me like I was crazy and said, "you are a working mother raising two wonderful kids, how much stronger can you get?". Although, I think it was a bit of a stretch- I share custody with my ex. It did make me think, I am stronger than I give myself credit for. I am doing this and I'm doing a good job.

It’s not easy but you will learn and adapt. Make sure you have a support system. People whose shoulders you can cry on, people who will watch the kids in a pinch, people who can see when you’re lonely. And, don’t forget to focus on yourself as well as the kids.

TheKitsune6

eh. Thought better of this post.

TheKitsune6

Focus on meeting potential dates in person first. Work your friend of friend network fully. You are more likely to find compatible dates through the friend of friend network and your day to day activities than any other source.

She's freshly single bro.

jenbit

and scared to death! I am 29 and my husband left me after being with me since I was 15 years old. I don't know the slightest thing about being single. I just finally managed to get over my fear of painting, and I am going to attempt to fix my own toilet and hang my own Christmas lights. Picking out a tree alone with my kids was fun. No more moody husband around that doesn't want to be with us. So advice? Maybe y'all can help me get though this transition in one piece.

Let me put it this way. If you were my friend (male or female) this is what we would do. On the days you dont have the kids or have a sitter we would go out, get silly (its the line between tispy and ugly drunk) and flirt with members of the oppisite sex and dance. Enjoy being single for a while have fun, flirt with random men. Enjoy the flush you get when a new hot guy is checking you out... ITs fun trust me. I spent most of my 20's in a relationship and while I finally started dating someone now I spent almost 2 yrs single first.

OH and buy batteries if your uncomfortable with new men. Use them often it will help you be more relaxed (in more ways than one :smokin: :bigsmile: ) and more comfortable with your own body.

jb852013

Thanks everyone! I appreciate the advice more than you know. While going through this is scary, I feel that my kids and I will be just fine. It is kinda cool to realize that I can do pretty much anything I set my mind to. And anything I can't I have wonderful friends and church family willing to come over and help.

shamrck44

I would set some goals for yourself that you wouldn't have done if you stayed with XH. Enjoy getting to know yourself and who you are now. Join some groups and make new friends. I would enjoy being alone for a while before I thought about dating.