Observations on Body Shaming
Replies
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However, there are ways to post your opinions with tact and grace.... so the whole reason/excuse of "If you put your picture out there.... " is a cop-out that is used to be catty. And that is more unbecoming than any picture that comes across the threads.
Opening something to opinions from different people means they wont always be nice & lovely. Its the internet...
Again a cop-out... one can be blunt and to the point without being down right ugly.0 -
*sigh* I wonder why it is SO hard for some people not to make every damn thing about them? To just comment on what is there, and not always turn it around and make it about something that they want or don't want, regardless of the original subject matter? Are some people really that self-centered? I cannot even fathom it.0
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I'm guilty of this one and make no apologies for it. I did it to try to teach people a simple lesson about manners. If you feel that just because it's the internet you have the right to absolutely trash the way someone looks, don't get upset if it's done back to you.
I don't agree with that approach, though. Calling someone fat because you don't like the comment they made about someone else's body makes you just as bad as them. They won't see it as you teaching them manners. Body shaming is body shaming. Doesn't matter who does it first.
^This. I'm guilty of throwing insults back when they're thrown at me first, but that doesn't make it okay, justified, or deserved. It just means that instead of being the better person, you let your temper get in the way. People love to hide behind the excuse of "oh, it's the internet" as if the people whose text you're reading aren't really real people on the other side of the screen, and that's not fair to anyone. Even someone making vicious posts on here is a person, and while they are violating the TOS by doing that it doesn't give you a free pass at insulting them.
Its not just "the internet"
There are mean scarey people out there ya know
Did you actually read my post? My whole point is that most people that we think of that we see on the internet as "scary", "idiots", "*kitten*", or whatever other derogatory term we can think of are usually just people like us, having a bad day or expressing their emotions in an unhealthy way. There are far more people on the internet who are depressed or have severe social anxiety than serial killers and pedophiles. That hardly makes them "scary".
what?
I was talking about the OFFLINE world, not the internet... hence i said "its not just "the internet""0 -
I'm guilty of this one and make no apologies for it. I did it to try to teach people a simple lesson about manners. If you feel that just because it's the internet you have the right to absolutely trash the way someone looks, don't get upset if it's done back to you.
I don't agree with that approach, though. Calling someone fat because you don't like the comment they made about someone else's body makes you just as bad as them. They won't see it as you teaching them manners. Body shaming is body shaming. Doesn't matter who does it first.
^This. I'm guilty of throwing insults back when they're thrown at me first, but that doesn't make it okay, justified, or deserved. It just means that instead of being the better person, you let your temper get in the way. People love to hide behind the excuse of "oh, it's the internet" as if the people whose text you're reading aren't really real people on the other side of the screen, and that's not fair to anyone. Even someone making vicious posts on here is a person, and while they are violating the TOS by doing that it doesn't give you a free pass at insulting them.
Its not just "the internet"
There are mean scarey people out there ya know
Except most people on the internet wouldn't spew the nastiness in person that they do behind the safety of their keyboard.... But all it shows is the true colors of the person typing it.... No one is asking to blow rainbows and unicorns up someones *kitten*... but you don't have to be "mean and scary" about it.... *smh* If you are that says more about who you really are than anything you do in person.0 -
I'm guilty of this one and make no apologies for it. I did it to try to teach people a simple lesson about manners. If you feel that just because it's the internet you have the right to absolutely trash the way someone looks, don't get upset if it's done back to you.
I don't agree with that approach, though. Calling someone fat because you don't like the comment they made about someone else's body makes you just as bad as them. They won't see it as you teaching them manners. Body shaming is body shaming. Doesn't matter who does it first.
^This. I'm guilty of throwing insults back when they're thrown at me first, but that doesn't make it okay, justified, or deserved. It just means that instead of being the better person, you let your temper get in the way. People love to hide behind the excuse of "oh, it's the internet" as if the people whose text you're reading aren't really real people on the other side of the screen, and that's not fair to anyone. Even someone making vicious posts on here is a person, and while they are violating the TOS by doing that it doesn't give you a free pass at insulting them.
Its not just "the internet"
There are mean scarey people out there ya know
Except most people on the internet wouldn't spew the nastiness in person that they do behind the safety of their keyboard.... But all it shows is the true colors of the person typing it.... No one is asking to blow rainbows and unicorns up someones *kitten*... but you don't have to be "mean and scary" about it.... *smh* If you are that says more about who you really are than anything you do in person.
Once again,
I was referring to the OFFLINE world.
Yes, there are mean people in this world. Surprise surprise!0 -
Wow, I really missed something yesterday did I not? LOL. C'mon folks, take a breath.
First off, I don't know exactly what went down yesterday, but I've seen instances of this "shaming" or whatever its called. I don't think most times that people are specifically setting out to insult the person directly, I think that more often than not they are simply stating their own personal preferences as originally asked by the OP. When someone asks an honest question, I think people should give their honest feedback. For God's sakes people, lighten up a little bit.
For instance, some on here don't like the hairless bodybuilder type (just referring to another thread on here that i did see and read yesterday). So, they say that that "look" makes them roll their eyes. Why would a hairless, bodybuilder type be offended by that when they have obviously chosen to look like that and believe that the way they look is the best look? If I were one of them, I'd just kinda roll my eyes back at the people who don't like that look.
Some don't like the type with hair on their chest/back/arms/legs/whatever. That is the look they like, and I'm guessing their men have taken up to trimming, waxing, shaving, whatever. If a hairy guy gets offended because somebody thinks that makes him look bad and be unattractive, then there are things he can do about that to change things.
It would be the same thing if a woman asked if a man likes the ultra-fit, skinny, runner look on a woman, or a woman with curves. Myself, I prefer a woman with some curves. It doesn't make the women with the fitness expert body any less sexy, just not what I look for "in a body". I know a lot of guys that don't like the curves, they prefer a woman to be as thin, toned and cut as possible. To me, not attractive. To them, my women are not the 'ultimate' either. But, if i asked that question, I would expect answers as honest as you could get them.
I know that I'm not everybody's cup of tea but that is who i am. The women that I am attracted to, and that who I end up with are attracted to my "type" I guess, and that has worked out pretty darned well for me thus far. In the end, the "looks" only get most a first or second date. If you can't back up the "look" with character (whatever character the other person is looking for), then it really doesn't add up to dried spit now, does it? Am I changing myself to look differently than I do now? Yes. Do I look down on the "gym-rat, harcore muscle-bound bodybuilder type"? Of course not, they've apparently busted their butts to get to that point, and if that is what they like to look like, its awesome for them. Do I look down on the slim, thin, long-distance runner type? Not at all, that too is a look that requires a lot of work. Myself, I'm going for something in-between the two. Many on either side mentioned above will likely look down on me as "not being committed" or for not "pushing myself hard enough", and that is fine. That is what THEY would do if they were me, but then again.....they are not me, are they? No. So if they choose to "shame me" for not conforming to their ideation of perfection, I just shrug my shoulders, roll my eyes and feel sorry for their closed-mindedness. How boring would this world be if we all looked and thought the same?
If you take things on message boards too personally, you probably shouldn't be on a message board forum, especially one like this one that is specifically named "chit chat, fun and games". I'm just sayin.......0 -
I'm guilty of this one and make no apologies for it. I did it to try to teach people a simple lesson about manners. If you feel that just because it's the internet you have the right to absolutely trash the way someone looks, don't get upset if it's done back to you.
I don't agree with that approach, though. Calling someone fat because you don't like the comment they made about someone else's body makes you just as bad as them. They won't see it as you teaching them manners. Body shaming is body shaming. Doesn't matter who does it first.
^This. I'm guilty of throwing insults back when they're thrown at me first, but that doesn't make it okay, justified, or deserved. It just means that instead of being the better person, you let your temper get in the way. People love to hide behind the excuse of "oh, it's the internet" as if the people whose text you're reading aren't really real people on the other side of the screen, and that's not fair to anyone. Even someone making vicious posts on here is a person, and while they are violating the TOS by doing that it doesn't give you a free pass at insulting them.
Its not just "the internet"
There are mean scarey people out there ya know
Except most people on the internet wouldn't spew the nastiness in person that they do behind the safety of their keyboard.... But all it shows is the true colors of the person typing it.... No one is asking to blow rainbows and unicorns up someones *kitten*... but you don't have to be "mean and scary" about it.... *smh* If you are that says more about who you really are than anything you do in person.
Once again,
I was referring to the OFFLINE world.
Yes, there are mean people in this world. Surprise surprise!
And I did reference OFFLINE world... hence the term "in person"... Yes, there are "mean people" in the world... However, the majority of "mean people" online wouldn't be even half as mean OFFLINE as they are on, because they don't have the guts to do it... My point is, there is NO REASON to be mean just because someone "asked for your opinion" anywhere... it's a cop out... what part of this don't you understand?0 -
I'm guilty of this one and make no apologies for it. I did it to try to teach people a simple lesson about manners. If you feel that just because it's the internet you have the right to absolutely trash the way someone looks, don't get upset if it's done back to you.
I don't agree with that approach, though. Calling someone fat because you don't like the comment they made about someone else's body makes you just as bad as them. They won't see it as you teaching them manners. Body shaming is body shaming. Doesn't matter who does it first.
^This. I'm guilty of throwing insults back when they're thrown at me first, but that doesn't make it okay, justified, or deserved. It just means that instead of being the better person, you let your temper get in the way. People love to hide behind the excuse of "oh, it's the internet" as if the people whose text you're reading aren't really real people on the other side of the screen, and that's not fair to anyone. Even someone making vicious posts on here is a person, and while they are violating the TOS by doing that it doesn't give you a free pass at insulting them.
Its not just "the internet"
There are mean scarey people out there ya know
Except most people on the internet wouldn't spew the nastiness in person that they do behind the safety of their keyboard.... But all it shows is the true colors of the person typing it.... No one is asking to blow rainbows and unicorns up someones *kitten*... but you don't have to be "mean and scary" about it.... *smh* If you are that says more about who you really are than anything you do in person.
Once again,
I was referring to the OFFLINE world.
Yes, there are mean people in this world. Surprise surprise!
And I did reference OFFLINE world... hence the term "in person"... Yes, there are "mean people" in the world... However, the majority of "mean people" online wouldn't be even half as mean OFFLINE as they are on, because they don't have the guts to do it... My point is, there is NO REASON to be mean just because someone "asked for your opinion" anywhere... it's a cop out... what part of this don't you understand?
My point is that an opinion CAN be mean,rude,unfair, whatever you wanna call it.
Everyone expresses their opinion in different ways0 -
My point is that an opinion CAN be mean,rude,unfair, whatever you wanna call it.
Everyone expresses their opinion in different ways
Whatever helps you sleep at night. An opinion does not have to be mean, unfair, blah blah blah... and if that's the only way one can express an opinion than perhaps they should re-evalutate themselves or STFU.0 -
My point is that an opinion CAN be mean,rude,unfair, whatever you wanna call it.
Everyone expresses their opinion in different ways
Whatever helps you sleep at night. An opinion does not have to be mean, unfair, blah blah blah... and if that's the only way one can express an opinion than perhaps they should re-evalutate themselves or STFU.
LOL Ok darling, goodluck with that logic0 -
My only comment on that would be, I find that people often critique the "skipping leg day" crew because a large consensus would agree it's not smart to do; overtraining certain body parts over others can result in literally throwing the body off balance, increase in injuries, etc. etc. I don't think it's necessarily a, "You look bad with big arms and skinny legs!" it's more of a, "It's very visible to us that you might not know as much about strength training as you say you do" as, falling back on stereotypes here, "bros" tend to do.
Otherwise, I'm 100% behind the "It's just as body shaming to make fun of skinny."
Good post, and I hope it keeps getting bumped in light of the 2-3 body shaming posts we have a day here...
I see it two ways.
1. Some people are oversensitive and go nuts on "shaming", when it's really an observation, fact, or opinion, you say above. Sometimes it's a trap: "do you like abs on women?" "No, it seems too manly to me" "BODY SHAMER!" Well, why the hell did you ask?
2. Some people do feel free to body-shame, but only if it's a pre-approved group that's OK to mock.
Often, they're the same people.0 -
My point is that an opinion CAN be mean,rude,unfair, whatever you wanna call it.
Everyone expresses their opinion in different ways
Whatever helps you sleep at night. An opinion does not have to be mean, unfair, blah blah blah... and if that's the only way one can express an opinion than perhaps they should re-evalutate themselves or STFU.
Well...that was rude.
ETA: Not that I necessarily disagree with the message. Honestly, I stopped keeping up with this thread when it went off the rails.0 -
I don't think most times that people are specifically setting out to insult the person directly
When you're looking at a pic of someone they posted as a success story for themselves and then say what you don't like about their body, that's pretty direct.
If someone asks for opinions, that's very different. It's always okay to give your honest opinion when asked, but you don't have to be an @ss about it. You can say, "I'm not into hairy chested guys" and avoid saying, "Ewwwww, I find hairy chested guys disgusting because they smell". See the difference?0 -
My thoughts exactlyMy point is that an opinion CAN be mean,rude,unfair, whatever you wanna call it.
Everyone expresses their opinion in different ways
Whatever helps you sleep at night. An opinion does not have to be mean, unfair, blah blah blah... and if that's the only way one can express an opinion than perhaps they should re-evalutate themselves or STFU.
Well...that was rude.0 -
My point is that an opinion CAN be mean,rude,unfair, whatever you wanna call it.
Everyone expresses their opinion in different ways
Whatever helps you sleep at night. An opinion does not have to be mean, unfair, blah blah blah... and if that's the only way one can express an opinion than perhaps they should re-evalutate themselves or STFU.
Well...that was rude.
ETA: Not that I necessarily disagree with the message. Honestly, I stopped keeping up with this thread when it went off the rails.
*hangs head in shame* maybe a bit... I am tired of people using the cop-out of "it's the internet" therefore I can say whatever I want to be mean and vindictive towards individuals....0 -
My point is that an opinion CAN be mean,rude,unfair, whatever you wanna call it.
Everyone expresses their opinion in different ways
Whatever helps you sleep at night. An opinion does not have to be mean, unfair, blah blah blah... and if that's the only way one can express an opinion than perhaps they should re-evalutate themselves or STFU.
Well...that was rude.
ETA: Not that I necessarily disagree with the message. Honestly, I stopped keeping up with this thread when it went off the rails.
*hangs head in shame* maybe a bit... I am tired of people using the cop-out of "it's the internet" therefore I can say whatever I want to be mean and vindictive towards individuals....
LOL What was I just saying for the past half hour?
Some people are MEAN offline too, so its not "just the internet".
I give up.0 -
Whatever helps you sleep at night. An opinion does not have to be mean, unfair, blah blah blah... and if that's the only way one can express an opinion than perhaps they should re-evalutate themselves or STFU.Well...that was rude.
ETA: Not that I necessarily disagree with the message. Honestly, I stopped keeping up with this thread when it went off the rails.
She wasn't telling Pinky to STFU. She was saying that the people who can only express themselves in a mean, rude, unfair, shaming kind of way should re-evaluate themselves or STFU.0 -
My point is that an opinion CAN be mean,rude,unfair, whatever you wanna call it.
Everyone expresses their opinion in different ways
Whatever helps you sleep at night. An opinion does not have to be mean, unfair, blah blah blah... and if that's the only way one can express an opinion than perhaps they should re-evalutate themselves or STFU.
Well...that was rude.
ETA: Not that I necessarily disagree with the message. Honestly, I stopped keeping up with this thread when it went off the rails.
*hangs head in shame* maybe a bit... I am tired of people using the cop-out of "it's the internet" therefore I can say whatever I want to be mean and vindictive towards individuals....
LOL What was I just saying for the past half hour?
Some people are MEAN offline too, so its not "just the internet".
I give up.
I KNOW it's not "just the internet" I have stated this a bajillion times already... BUT people are MORE LIKELY to be mean on the internet than they are in person.... THAT is what I have been trying to say.
Now I'm done, because I feel like I am hitting my head on a brick wall.0 -
I don't think most times that people are specifically setting out to insult the person directly
When you're looking at a pic of someone they posted as a success story for themselves and then say what you don't like about their body, that's pretty direct.
If someone asks for opinions, that's very different. It's always okay to give your honest opinion when asked, but you don't have to be an @ss about it. You can say, "I'm not into hairy chested guys" and avoid saying, "Ewwwww, I find hairy chested guys disgusting because they smell". See the difference?
Of course I see the difference, but while I agree that is rude and uncalled for, to think that arguing this on a message board will stop it, well........ a little bit naive, at least in my humble opinion (please, no offense intended there). Let the beads of water roll off your back and move along. I have a pretty good tolerance built up I guess.0 -
Of course I see the difference, but while I agree that is rude and uncalled for, to think that arguing this on a message board will stop it, well........ a little bit naive, at least in my humble opinion (please, no offense intended there). Let the beads of water roll off your back and move along. I have a pretty good tolerance built up I guess.
So, we should just let anyone body shame another person on here? We should allow people to call others names? We should allow the insults, the nastiness, and the personal attacks because "thinking that arguing this on a message board will stop it is naive" or because we all should just "let the beads of water roll off our backs"?
I don't subscribe to that mentality. So, maybe I'm naive, but I have a hard time remaining quiet when I see it here.0
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