Can't BELIEVE this guy said this about a size 8 / Medium!

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  • amandapye78
    amandapye78 Posts: 820 Member
    I'm a size 8 and I would have rolled my eyes at him and laughed. I would have been laughing at the fact that he is an idiot but he would have thought I just got the joke. :laugh:
  • MaryB2
    MaryB2 Posts: 331 Member
    I think he was trying to be funny! My husband has a way of joking about things some people get offended over. I was looking for a measuring tape to get my measurements and asked a girl where to find one. She told me and then said that they had one that was 56" long. My husband said "I don't think that's big enough." I laughed and hit his shoulder but even with both of us laughing the salesperson looked furious. I couldn't help thinking she had no sense of humor and got offended way too easy!
  • sbbhbm
    sbbhbm Posts: 1,312 Member
    I have debated putting my two cents in on this topic, since the thread is still going, I have decided apparently that I will.

    I am a size 4/6. I was a size 0 when I met my husband. Three months ago, he told me "lose the weight or I'm moving out". So many folks hear a statement like that, and trumpet "Get rid of him, he's a jerk". Well, yes, he is. But, in his mind, I have not upheld my end of our "contract" of marriage. He married me because he loves me, yes. But he also married me because he physically desired me. And to him, my weight gain is my way of telling him I don't love him enough to care if he's attracted to me or not. My gain of weight is equated with a loss of love, and he doesn't want to be with someone who doesn't love him.

    What boggles my mind when reading some of these responses on this post, are all the women who are appalled that a size 8 would constitute a divorce- when I'm guessing a lot of the same posters would tell someone in a more exaggerated situation that they are justified in wanting to leave. I have seen posts on here where someone will lament "My spouse has gained over 100 pounds, I don't find them attractive anymore, I don't know if I should stay"- followed by responses such as "They are so unhealthy, they obviously do not care about themselves or you, you should leave". An extreme amount of weight is considered repulsive to many and a justifiable reason to leave, but my extra 20 pounds is something my husband needs to just get over and stop being so shallow about. But my extra 20 pounds is just as repulsive to my husband as hundreds of extra pounds are too many (I know, because he's called me repulsive on many occasions). I'm not excusing the fat-shaming and verbal abuse my husband puts me through- he needs to grow up and learn how to communicate like a grown man instead of lashing out like a spoiled toddler- but it doesn't mean I don't try to see things from his perspective. It's taken me some time and reflection to reach a place where I can still see the purpose in trying to save my marriage, but I will admit, it's been a struggle. The fact that he has it in him to be so verbally abusive is far more of an issue to me than the fact that he wants me to lose weight. If this marriage ends, it will be for that reason, no matter what size I am at that point.
  • wikitbikit
    wikitbikit Posts: 518 Member
    The fact that he has it in him to be so verbally abusive is far more of an issue to me than the fact that he wants me to lose weight. If this marriage ends, it will be for that reason, no matter what size I am at that point.
    Good luck to you with your marriage. Deciding whether to fight for one or end it is a very hard decision to make.

    I would (personally) never advise someone to leave their spouse because of their weight, but I think a lot of times "weight" may be the easiest way to describe the problem.

    I met my ex-husband when I weighed maybe 170. I think the day our divorce was final I weighed 280. Never once during our marriage did he say anything disparaging about my weight, but he knew that it bothered ME to the point where I didn't want to get intimate, and THAT bothered him. I was also suffering from depression (originally diagnosed at 16; it's been a life-long thing) and the meds didn't help with weight OR sex drive.

    So the real, basic reason we got divorced was my depression, but I could easily see someone who didn't think about it too deeply thinking it was because of weight.
  • MM_1982
    MM_1982 Posts: 374
    cute-cat-laughing.jpg
  • BondBomb
    BondBomb Posts: 1,781 Member
    cute-cat-laughing.jpg
    You also have a solid reputation in the single peeps group for being a 'jerk' to put it mildly.
    Not a personal attack, just an observation.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    OMG so many pages on this thread no time to read! Just wanted so chime in and say that man was kinda funny to me. That made me giggle. Maybe I have a thick skin or something but that's not even a thing to me. I mean my husband recently misjudged my weight by a lot, underestimating. Men don't always know that kind of stuff and he might have just been repeating a joke he'd heard or something. Probably didn't even know your co-worker wore that size.

    I actually am pretty glad your co-worker didn't say anything because I think jobs like that means putting up with crap, I did it when I worked as a hostess in 5 star places, it's YOUR job to act professional not theirs. It's their job to get what they want or have a good time depending where they are at. Your co-worker might have gotten herself fired. I feel I should say this as a service to anyone reading who has that kind of job because as a co-worker, manager, or customer I would have found that way out of line and punishable by firing or scheduling less shifts if stuck with the employee. Just want to let you know this mentality is out there, and you gotta be careful how you treat paying customers. Further, if I would have heard that conversation as a customer between you two workers after he left, I would wonder if they would talk about me when I left and would have taken my money elsewhere. Maybe even going so far if stopped or invited to shop more on the way out, to state why and at that point, I'm talking to a manager about it. That's just me. If I'm spending good money in your store, don't criticize me, rain on my parade, talk about me after I'm gone, etc. Just sell me the stuff and get out of my way. The end.

    ETA: the title states you cannot believe he said that about a certain size. I certainly hope that does not mean it would have been okay if he'd said it about another size? get me? if you're offended about it at a size 8 you should be equally up in arms if he says it about a size 18. He really shouldn't be saying it about anyone but his comedic timing is seriously gonna win out for me no matter where the size guessing started. lol. it was just a joke. he was just trying to stop the co-worker from describing every piece of clothing in the store probably. men hate to shop in my experience.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    I suppose I am way off topic and not responding to the actual post. I'm just confused and trying to understand. Are the clothing sizes in UK sizes? Or is this in North America and the sizes are all made smaller? Or are they just applying extra small, small, and medium to a different set of sizes?

    Usually (in North America) I thought that:

    00 is extra extra small
    0 is extra small
    2 is small

    And after that are more small and mediums in the 4 to 8 range.

    I'm just saying this because I am often in the extra extra small (00) sizes. Also, just want to add that being small framed is normal and healthy for some people.

    But, I agree with you that the size of clothing does not reflect on a person's health, fitness or attractiveness. Because that varies from person to person due to many many different reasons. Size 8 is an excellent size to be (as are larger sizes than that as well). And my husband would never say anything like that.
  • MelisaDonald
    MelisaDonald Posts: 14 Member
    We need to keep it in perspective ... women can be notorious for showing disrespect toward our men. I don't think we should be so shocked because we're all capable of dishing out garbage. i'm grateful and it helps me when others are gracious if I say something stupid!
  • FlaxMilk
    FlaxMilk Posts: 3,452 Member
    And to him, my weight gain is my way of telling him I don't love him enough to care if he's attracted to me or not. My gain of weight is equated with a loss of love, and he doesn't want to be with someone who doesn't love him.

    What boggles my mind when reading some of these responses on this post, are all the women who are appalled that a size 8 would constitute a divorce- when I'm guessing a lot of the same posters would tell someone in a more exaggerated situation that they are justified in wanting to leave. I have seen posts on here where someone will lament "My spouse has gained over 100 pounds, I don't find them attractive anymore, I don't know if I should stay"- followed by responses such as "They are so unhealthy, they obviously do not care about themselves or you, you should leave". An extreme amount of weight is considered repulsive to many and a justifiable reason to leave, but my extra 20 pounds is something my husband needs to just get over and stop being so shallow about. But my extra 20 pounds is just as repulsive to my husband as hundreds of extra pounds are too many (I know, because he's called me repulsive on many occasions).

    I'm not going to comment on my feelings on leaving a spouse over 100 extra lbs. I am going to say that one reason people are so concerned over an extra 20 is that it suggests a rigidness that is incompatible with normal life. A 4-6 is still a very healthy, smallish size. It's nice that your husband is attracted to very tiny women, but people are appalled that he would leave you over a 4-6 because it's an extremely high and unreasonable standard to hold you to. It would be akin to you leaving him over working out a little less intensely at the gym and not being able to lift quite as much, but still a healthy, impressive amount. Maybe that works for your relationship. I don't know. But if you put it out there, people are going to react to such rigid standards in a relationship.
  • mhcoss
    mhcoss Posts: 220
    It was at least quick-witted?

    I had an ex tell me once that I was "only allowed to gain weight 2 or 3 times in our 'life together'" (referring to when I popped out his kids). Needless to say, that relationship didn't last.

    I was, and still am, out of his league looks-wise. He still calls to ask "how I'm doing". Douche-canoe.
    '

    your not really out of anyones leagues looks wise drop the ego
  • kimosabe1
    kimosabe1 Posts: 2,467 Member
    ^^ I would have said "man, those are some TINY hands"!
  • spangey13
    spangey13 Posts: 294
    It was at least quick-witted?

    I had an ex tell me once that I was "only allowed to gain weight 2 or 3 times in our 'life together'" (referring to when I popped out his kids). Needless to say, that relationship didn't last.

    I was, and still am, out of his league looks-wise. He still calls to ask "how I'm doing". Douche-canoe.

    Douche-canoe? I have never heard that before, but I'll be stealing that - thanks very much!
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
    What a tool. I'm a size 8 and most people consider me to be "skinny." My BMI is 20.1. My measured body fat percentage is on the lower side of the healthy range - within fitness levels. Size 8 is NOT big. :tongue:
  • trinityj1
    trinityj1 Posts: 97 Member
    I would have asked him if he found Marilyn Monroe attractive.

    She was a 10, by the way.

    And did anyone care if she could act? No. All they cared about was whether she was in focus.

    a) she wasn't.
    b) sizes in the fifties were much, much smaller than contemporary sizes anyway. She had a 22-inch waist and 35-inch hips. She is a much better representation of the ideal toward which people are reaching than of an exception to it.
  • PrettyPearl88
    PrettyPearl88 Posts: 368 Member
    Honestly, this guy's "joke" just demonstrates how clueless he is about women. If he had any real knowledge about women, he'd know that a size 8 generally isn't fat and that on some women (for instance, tall women) a size 8 can even be slim.

    Apparently a lot of people in here think his joke is funny. I don't see the humor in it. Not to sound mean, but I could see the humor in it if he would have said a larger size, one that is generally associated with being fat. But an 8...not generally considered to be a "fat size"...so his joke was just empty to me.
  • GiGiBeans
    GiGiBeans Posts: 1,062 Member
    Most men have no clue about sizes. If this guy did he'd just ask, your coworker would not have to play 20 questions.
  • PrettyPearl88
    PrettyPearl88 Posts: 368 Member
    Most men have no clue about sizes. If this guy did he'd just ask, your coworker would not have to play 20 questions.

    That's exactly what I was thinking. I wouldn't be surprised AT ALL if this guy's wife was a 6 or an 8 and he just didn't realize it LOL!
  • wikitbikit
    wikitbikit Posts: 518 Member
    Apparently a lot of people in here think his joke is funny. I don't see the humor in it. Not to sound mean, but I could see the humor in it if he would have said a larger size, one that is generally associated with being fat. But an 8...not generally considered to be a "fat size"...so his joke was just empty to me.
    :(

    Not funny when it's about a smaller woman, but it's ok to laugh at the fat ladies? You may not have meant to sound mean, but...
  • JessikaBlayne
    JessikaBlayne Posts: 1,457
    what a jerk

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