I changed my orientation

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DetroitDarin
DetroitDarin Posts: 955 Member
in Chit-Chat
This site creates challenges physical and mental. Both physical behaviour changes as well as attitudes. As recently as two weeks ago, or so, I'd pass morbidly obese people and think negative or condescending thoughts about them. Until browsing this forum and seeing the REAL struggle people endure I looked at the morbidly obese with pity, ridicule and wonder.

My inclinations are changed. My thought processes are altered. My compulsions are now modified. Over the past week I pass the same people in the halls of my work place. When I come across folks I used to ignore I engage them with a "Good morning!" or "hello!" - I'm starting to see beauty in personality before hidden by masks and prejudices of my own making.

Right - I get it...who am I to talk, right? I look at some of you with what I perceive as perfect bodies. Some of you will look through my images and see my shirt-less pic there. The pic in my profile is current as of last week. I have no 'after' photo because I'm not there yet. So -why the hell was I such a d-bag to other people?

I have no excuse. Being here humanized the struggle for me. Being here, reading your stories and getting to know a few of you saved me from a probable continued existence of being a sh|t head.

Replies

  • ladyfingers73
    ladyfingers73 Posts: 80 Member
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    Wow, that is some confession. Kinda heavy for chit-chat, fun and games. :) Just goes to show, there is more to people than appearances. I thought it was all about the sense of humor?!?!
  • Irish_eyes75
    Irish_eyes75 Posts: 475
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    Thanks for this very personal and quite moving post.

    I feel it when people avoid eye contact or go out of their way to not talk to me. I want to scream "you can't get fat just by talking to me!!" In fact, if more people would stop and say hi they'd realize I'm quite awesome. :glasses:

    This gives me hope that all people don't actually suck as I previously thought. :happy:
  • everytree
    everytree Posts: 127
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    My hat is off to you for that admission. Good on you!
  • obrendao
    obrendao Posts: 318
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    Gives me hope too! I've always been a "husky" girl so I've always been ridiculed esp. in childhood. That kind of hurt can make a person go one way, or the other, with their weight. Personally I've gone both directions and glad to be on the right path.

    Its quite a refreshing post, and its nice that you can appreciate people and their struggles and have some empathy. :)
  • DetroitDarin
    DetroitDarin Posts: 955 Member
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    Thanks folks. Just sorta hit me last night. Sorta figured out what's been changing.
    Kinda heavy for chit-chat, fun and games.


    Weight jokes? Punny
    :) Just goes to show, there is more to people than appearances. I thought it was all about the sense of humor?!?!

    I think it's more about sense. Just sense. Getting a sense of who I am. Trying to figure this all out, ya know?
  • caraiselite
    caraiselite Posts: 2,631 Member
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    aww, you're growing up. so cute!

    but seriously. that's good.
  • EvgeniZyntx
    EvgeniZyntx Posts: 24,208 Member
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    Excellent post. Thanks.

    I think we all make some judgments on appearance and weight is an easy one.

    The thing is you might just be creating the right influence and what I would call a virtuous circle of understanding (doesn't that sound trademarkable) - your "healthier you" is friendlier and a better person and might help your co-workers find a leverage point to address their lifestyle. If you get asked any questions about what you do, take the time to answer, you'll then have made up for the way you were before.
  • DetroitDarin
    DetroitDarin Posts: 955 Member
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    Excellent post. Thanks.

    I think we all make some judgments on appearance and weight is an easy one.

    The thing is you might just be creating the right influence and what I would call a virtuous circle of understanding (doesn't that sound trademarkable) - your "healthier you" is friendlier and a better person and might help your co-workers find a leverage point to address their lifestyle. If you get asked any questions about what you do, take the time to answer, you'll then have made up for the way you were before.

    Thanks! And here's the thing...I'm a PEOPLE person. I'm welcoming and friendly and pretty much accessable to folks. Yet I realized I had a habit of looking and thinking...and what I thought was not pleseant.
  • ladyfingers73
    ladyfingers73 Posts: 80 Member
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    Thanks folks. Just sorta hit me last night. Sorta figured out what's been changing.
    Kinda heavy for chit-chat, fun and games.


    Weight jokes? Punny
    :) Just goes to show, there is more to people than appearances. I thought it was all about the sense of humor?!?!

    I think it's more about sense. Just sense. Getting a sense of who I am. Trying to figure this all out, ya know?
    Losing weight....getting healthy, whatever you want to call is is 90% mental....so yes, trying to figure it out is making you use your brain. Can be painful at times.
  • vkruithof
    vkruithof Posts: 227 Member
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    Very well said, and once again your honestly has me at a loss for words.

    We're all here, sharing in some kind of life struggles or the others. Even the ones that others might perceive to be 'having it all together'.

    Great job and well done friend!
  • samra2012
    samra2012 Posts: 715
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    that was amazing!!! happy that u are my friend!!!:flowerforyou:
  • chocl8girl
    chocl8girl Posts: 1,968 Member
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    :love: :flowerforyou:
  • kimbly71
    kimbly71 Posts: 188
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    I'm glad that the stories on this web site have opened you up to a better understanding of the people around you. I think every person can use a little enlightment here and there to help us grow. Thanks for posting! :smile:
  • Jonalee1977
    Jonalee1977 Posts: 415 Member
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    That's awesome and I applaud you for admitting it. We all have struggles in this life. It's not our job to judge others. There might be a wonderful friendship develop for you now just because you've gotten past the outer barrier.
  • DetroitDarin
    DetroitDarin Posts: 955 Member
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    Thanks all - really - not after thanks even - but just live with a quest of being honest. Honesty sometimes does good things. :)
  • ohmariposa
    ohmariposa Posts: 372 Member
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    that was amazing!!! happy that u are my friend!!!:flowerforyou:
    this <3
  • TylerJ76
    TylerJ76 Posts: 4,375 Member
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    Well said brother..

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