Was I being ignorant to my vegetarian friend?

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Replies

  • _VoV
    _VoV Posts: 1,494 Member
    Uuuummm...don't you know that vegans are SUPERIOR to the rest of us, and we should all be aware of their veganism?

    You may be joking, but your basic premise here is judgmental towards people who identify with a vegan lifestyle. I've read this thread pretty thoroughly, and almost all of the self-identified vegans were sympathetic to the OP. Try a little more understanding, and a lot less stereotyping--It tends to make life go a little easier.
  • rikkeeroos
    rikkeeroos Posts: 28
    Uuuummm...don't you know that vegans are SUPERIOR to the rest of us, and we should all be aware of their veganism?

    You may be joking, but your basic premise here is judgmental towards people who identify with a vegan lifestyle. I've read this thread pretty thoroughly, and almost all of the self-identified vegans were sympathetic to the OP. Try a little more understanding, and a lot less stereotyping--It tends to make life go a little easier.

    I don't remember capitalizing the word "superior" in the post that you have quoted. Nevertheless, I would like to apologize to you. I should have realized that what I said could be offensive to some. Sometimes I forget that not everybody has the same sense of humor that I have. I will try to be more thoughtful with any other comments that I may post.
  • IndigoVA
    IndigoVA Posts: 164 Member
    Her response sounds a little rude to me, but it's really impossible to know someone's mood through text. I've been vegetarian for over 20 years. I recently posted something on FB asking people for suggestions of places to go and things to do in the Outer Banks since we'll be vacationing there in a couple weeks. A bunch of people suggested to me seafood restaurants, and things like fishing (which I'm ethically opposed to). I just thanked them for their suggestions. I don't feel the need to correct people, since I know they're only trying to help.

    Dude, I'm gonna threadjack -- if you are staying on Hatteras Island Cafe 12 and Buxton Munch. Cafe Pamlico (pricy) has a kick *kitten* seasonal veggie plate too.

    Thanks! We're staying in Kill Devil Hills, but we may be up for some traveling.
  • _VoV
    _VoV Posts: 1,494 Member
    Uuuummm...don't you know that vegans are SUPERIOR to the rest of us, and we should all be aware of their veganism?

    You may be joking, but your basic premise here is judgmental towards people who identify with a vegan lifestyle. I've read this thread pretty thoroughly, and almost all of the self-identified vegans were sympathetic to the OP. Try a little more understanding, and a lot less stereotyping--It tends to make life go a little easier.

    I don't remember capitalizing the word "superior" in the post that you have quoted. Nevertheless, I would like to apologize to you. I should have realized that what I said could be offensive to some. Sometimes I forget that not everybody has the same sense of humor that I have. I will try to be more thoughtful with any other comments that I may post.

    Thank you. I did capitalize the word 'superior' to point out the lightning rod in your statement. I appreciate your open-minded response. :flowerforyou:
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    Uuuummm...don't you know that vegans are SUPERIOR to the rest of us, and we should all be aware of their veganism?

    You may be joking, but your basic premise here is judgmental towards people who identify with a vegan lifestyle. I've read this thread pretty thoroughly, and almost all of the self-identified vegans were sympathetic to the OP. Try a little more understanding, and a lot less stereotyping--It tends to make life go a little easier.

    I don't remember capitalizing the word "superior" in the post that you have quoted. Nevertheless, I would like to apologize to you. I should have realized that what I said could be offensive to some. Sometimes I forget that not everybody has the same sense of humor that I have. I will try to be more thoughtful with any other comments that I may post.

    Thank you. I did capitalize the word 'superior' to point out the lightning rod in your statement. I appreciate your open-minded response. :flowerforyou:

    Whoa, altering a quote is super uncool.
  • _VoV
    _VoV Posts: 1,494 Member
    Uuuummm...don't you know that vegans are SUPERIOR to the rest of us, and we should all be aware of their veganism?

    You may be joking, but your basic premise here is judgmental towards people who identify with a vegan lifestyle. I've read this thread pretty thoroughly, and almost all of the self-identified vegans were sympathetic to the OP. Try a little more understanding, and a lot less stereotyping--It tends to make life go a little easier.

    I don't remember capitalizing the word "superior" in the post that you have quoted. Nevertheless, I would like to apologize to you. I should have realized that what I said could be offensive to some. Sometimes I forget that not everybody has the same sense of humor that I have. I will try to be more thoughtful with any other comments that I may post.

    Thank you. I did capitalize the word 'superior' to point out the lightning rod in your statement. I appreciate your open-minded response. :flowerforyou:

    Whoa, altering a quote is super uncool.

    I apologize for that. I'm very primitive in my abilities to use this quoting feature here.
  • macpatti
    macpatti Posts: 4,280 Member
    I apologize for that. I'm very primitive in my abilities to use this quoting feature here.

    Obviously, because you just keep hitting "post reply" instead of just quoting the one you're replying to. I need to teach you my mad quoting skills! :wink:
  • Iceman1800
    Iceman1800 Posts: 476
    I don't really see it as rude - she said she doesn't eat meat, so no. Just stating facts, really.

    Edited to Add: I don't think you were being ignorant, but I also don't think her response was rude.
    I agree
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    [/quote]
    Whoa, altering a quote is super uncool.
    [/quote]

    I apologize for that. I'm very primitive in my abilities to use this quoting feature here.
    [/quote]

    Quoting abilities aside, it's really never ok to change somebody's words to help you make your point that doesn't matter if your are in a internet forum or real life. I'm not a jerk or a troll, but just be aware that if you do that in other threads it won't matter if you're ignorant of rules or not, people will not think twice to rip you to pieces.
  • postrockandcats
    postrockandcats Posts: 1,145 Member
    While the "uuuh" thing *can* come off as a little passive aggressive, try to look past that part as that seem to be the only potentially rude thing. Other than that, you suggested a dish with critter, they said they were critter free. Now you know. :)
  • _VoV
    _VoV Posts: 1,494 Member
    Whoa, altering a quote is super uncool.
    [/quote]

    I apologize for that. I'm very primitive in my abilities to use this quoting feature here.
    [/quote]

    Quoting abilities aside, it's really never ok to change somebody's words to help you make your point that doesn't matter if your are in a internet forum or real life. I'm not a jerk or a troll, but just be aware that if you do that in other threads it won't matter if you're ignorant of rules or not, people will not think twice to rip you to pieces.
    [/quote]

    Thank you for the heads up.
  • Marll
    Marll Posts: 904 Member
    In my experience, most vegetarians are pompous and get all up in arms when people suggest anything out of their norm, even when you don't know. I say your "friend" was being the jerk, I wouldn't sweat it.
  • Meaganandcheese
    Meaganandcheese Posts: 525 Member
    If you didn't know, you didn't know. Not your fault.

    And I am from the town where horseshoes were invented. (((springfield IL))) We had a horseshoe bar at our wedding rehearsal dinner. It's not just burgers ... we did buffalo chicken 'shoes. :drinker:
  • HisPathDaily
    HisPathDaily Posts: 672 Member
    I would not worry about it ... the problem is that typed words never carry emotion ... so many people have taken me (and I have take others) the wrong way because there is more to communication than words (body language, tone, eye contact, etc.)

    I could easily see the words: "Uuuumm... I don't eat meat, so no." said in a condescending or polite way ...

    Either case ... don't sweat it ... you sound like you're considerate and continue to be so, but don't get too ruffled ... life is too awesome to get stressed :)

    ~Me
  • Yasmine91
    Yasmine91 Posts: 599 Member
    Many vegetarians are up their own arses...don't take it personally xxx

    more ignorance. go internet!

    Notice I said many, not all.
  • FlaxMilk
    FlaxMilk Posts: 3,452 Member
    Hi there! Strict vegan here. I would not have been offended in the slightest, unless I had posted, "Does anyone have any vegan restaurant suggestions?" and then you suggested I go eat a burger with cheese fries. I would have been a little taken aback too initially if someone responded the way she did to you, though it really could have been in humor like someone else suggested. I guess that depends on her personality and your relationship. I guess I would just make a joke out of it if it is bothering you ... "oops, guess that went over like a pound of flesh, huh? My bad!"

    (I would be confused if a close friend or family member suggested a burger joint, but I'd probably ask them if they had a good veggie menu. I can't see anyone who really really knows me suggesting a burger place otherwise.)

    For those not in the know--many vegetarians will not eat veggie burgers at restaurants because they are often fried or grilled on the exact same equipment as all the meat.
  • FlaxMilk
    FlaxMilk Posts: 3,452 Member
    Ok I deleted because OP asked a question about herself (or himself.) Debating whether either side is judgmental or superior is besides the point. Plenty of other threads for that.
  • fatmom51
    fatmom51 Posts: 173 Member
    I think your suggestion was fine and it appears as though the Facebook friend was being intentionally snarky, especially since it isn't someone you interact with on a regular basis. She posted and asked for suggestions for good restaurants in a town she was going to be visiting. (I don't keep up with all the dietary habits of my far-flung friends. And who's to say that others in her group might not be veg and want to try this specialty. We have another team mom who's vegetarian and when we all go out after competitions, she'll just go wherever we all go and find something that meets her dietary preferences)
    Your friend didn't even have to respond to each of you individually, but if she felt she must, she could have just said, "I'm vegetarian, so that won't work for me, but thanks anyway." She may have thought you knew, but even still, she could have just ignored your suggestion. And who's to say that the restaurant doesn't have some awesome non-meat choices. (And who knows what kind of vegetarian she is -- does she do chicken, or seafood, or is totally vegan, etc.)
  • yourenotmine
    yourenotmine Posts: 645 Member
    I am a strict vegetarian, and might have been annoyed by your suggestion if we were close friends, but if you were someone I didn't expect to know, then not so much. And I don't think you were being insensitive. You could respond simply with an, oops, how did I miss that? or something similar. As mentioned by others, though, you would be shocked by the number of people - close friends, even - who think it's really, really witty to suggest eating something they know I would never consume. So, maybe she sincerely didn't know you didn't know and this all one big, silly misunderstanding. Anyway, try not to take it too hard.

    (And who knows what kind of vegetarian she is -- does she do chicken, or seafood, or is totally vegan, etc.)

    Just for future reference, vegetarians don't eat chicken or seafood (or any flesh), and may or may not eat dairy or eggs. Vegans do not consume or use any animal products at all, including gelatin, honey, silk, wool, lanolin, etc. Pescetarians do not eat any type of meat but fish (seafood). I find it is a common misconception that some vegetarians eat some types of meat. If a person eats any variety of meat, said person is some other type of -tarian.
  • yocando
    yocando Posts: 101 Member
    e-communication is notorious for mis-construed intent... don't read into it. I don't think her response was rude.
    And i think you are best to let it go. Sounds like she was just letting you know... and now you do.
    no big deal...... let something else take up the rental space in your precious brain .....

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