what NOT to say to your wife/gf when she's crying....

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Replies

  • gkwatra
    gkwatra Posts: 431 Member
    When my wife she cries, I hold her. Even when I'm not entirely sure why she is crying, I will tell her that everything will be okay. Because it will. I will stroke her hair, kiss her head, and wipe away her tears and reassure her until she's better. If it's something I can help with, I will. If it's something I can't, then I will tell her I wish I could. Even if the reason she is crying is irrational, pointing that out when she is an irrational state isn't going to help the anything.

    I don't do this because I read a magazine, or grew up with tons of women in the house (2 brothers, 0 sisters). I'm not exactly sure why I do it. But I do know that what I do is generally the exception and not the rule.

    :love:
  • You're fired!

    Men are ****s, we just don't know what to say, period (no pun intended). Unless we have clear instructions on a chart that has a Yes and a No side, we're screwed...



    ^^^^ This is so true and glad a man can admit it. They do have to have clear instructions but I've found that if we tell them exactly what we want like a hug, etc they will make it happen, we think they should know what we need (or are thinking) without having to tell them, WRONG most Men have to be told (clear instructions LOL).

    Hugs!!!
  • Mhaney
    Mhaney Posts: 467 Member
    "all your crying gives me a headache"

    true story.
  • Does anybody else think its not very nice of her to bash her husband online?
  • TravisBurns
    TravisBurns Posts: 354 Member
    Have you put on weight?
  • RilantheFirebug
    RilantheFirebug Posts: 207 Member
    "You have nothing to be upset about." Ugh.

    But men and women are both nonsensical creatures and just when we think we get each other something new pops up that makes us confused all over again. Best to just roll with it.
  • LokiOfAsgard
    LokiOfAsgard Posts: 378 Member
    Sorry to hear you're struggling.

    May I ask what you've done to support your husband/boyfriend? Having been there and done that, I'm willing to bet your hubby feels this way: no matter what he said, he was going to be wrong as you've set him up for failure.

    Honestly, I stopped reading there. I don't see how a girl having a bad day at work and ending up crying is setting a man up for failure. What guys need to do is not talk and just hug their girl, let them cry into their shoulders. That's comforting, and there's no way a man can mess up, unless he started groping her. (Which would be his own fault, not the girls' >:|)
    I'm sorry, but not every girl sets a guy up for failure and it irks me when guys say that.
  • ShreddedTweet
    ShreddedTweet Posts: 1,326 Member
    "All [people in your profession] are pompous a**holes," when she's upset over something that happened at work. Because that's really a good way to make your wife/gf feel good about her chosen profession. Bonus points if she is financially supporting you.

    Whoa, and this is the guy that denies you action in the bedroom??? Pfft...There's the door!!!!

    He also repeatedly refers to my profession as "a con," he thinks hastening to add that he "respects a good con," makes this an acceptable way to describe my occupation. (Note, so that you understand that I am not completely without a sense of humor, I have, on numerous occasions referred to certain parts of my job as "voodoo" but it's my work, and I understand it well, so I'm allowed to do that.)
    [/quote

    Oh sure, but you're allowed to be self-deprecating! It's when someone else says it to you that makes it uncool...I sometimes say, 'Pfft, I feel like I'm getting flabby'...but if he said to me that he thought I was getting flabby there would be war in the camp!
    I think yours has a little career/earnings-envy!
  • Maryaly40
    Maryaly40 Posts: 551 Member
    "All [people in your profession] are pompous a**holes," when she's upset over something that happened at work. Because that's really a good way to make your wife/gf feel good about her chosen profession. Bonus points if she is financially supporting you.

    Yes, and at this time I am the financial support as he is laid off. I get it, he looks at it as "atleast you have a job". Yes I do, a very good one, but what he fails to realize is the REASON I'm upset is that I applied for a promotion a few months back. They hired outside the company. Well, apparently the woman they chose is having difficulty handling all work so they "secretly" gave the position to a co-worker who didn't apply for that particular position in the first place cause she said she didn't want it. So, I AGAIN just lost another pretty decent RAISE to help OUR household!!
  • Maryaly40
    Maryaly40 Posts: 551 Member
    Does anybody else think its not very nice of her to bash her husband online?

    I'm not bashing my husband. Re-read the OP.
  • You don't look fat, just a little chubby....
  • TK266
    TK266 Posts: 3,689 Member
    "but I used an open hand!" not a good response.

    I usually go with the hug and the Sheldon Copper "there, there". if asked for a solution I will provide one, but I need a clue sometimes on whether it is a "just listen to me" or a "WTF do I do?" situation.
  • 3foldchord
    3foldchord Posts: 2,918 Member
    I don't 'do' crying or emotional outbursts and I like to solve problems myself. When BF and I argue we usually end up laughing about it.... I think I might be a guy....

    ditto
  • Don't give men the excuses...I raised boys...and girls...and let me tell what....My men know what to say and how to say it to stay out of trouble
  • Here's a thought.



    Don't act like you're PMSing all the time. Maybe then he won't ask.



    Like I said, just a thought.

    My thoughts exactly Lea!

    Like somebody else said, I also feel bad for men. They don't think like we do. If I think I'm going to get angry or upset over something, I usually tell my boyfriend "hey, I think we're going to argue in the next couple days" Then, he says "what did I do this time?" (nicely) And once I sit back and think about it, he hasn't done anything that any other guy hasn't done, so I just get over it. This is what works for us. And, if he really has done something to upset me, I tell him nicely and we figure it out.

    Sorry I just rambled on.
  • justal313
    justal313 Posts: 1,375 Member
    I feel bad for men. They usually dont know what to say, stumble around their words and end up saying the wrong thing no matter what they say. I say dont be so sensitive. Men are men. We love them for who they are, not their ability to try to read our minds!
    I think I love you.

    This is the internet, people masquarade as women all the time. I bet it's a dude :laugh:
  • Wow your nose gets really red when you cry.

    My husband is usually pretty good. he tells me I will watch the kids why don't you take a break. So I get sent to my room when I cry lol.
  • ClassicPearl
    ClassicPearl Posts: 141 Member
    I LOVE UNICORNS!

    LOL WTF!
  • UncleMac
    UncleMac Posts: 12,813 Member
    Sorry to hear you're struggling.

    May I ask what you've done to support your husband/boyfriend? Having been there and done that, I'm willing to bet your hubby feels this way: no matter what he said, he was going to be wrong as you've set him up for failure.

    Honestly, I stopped reading there. I don't see how a girl having a bad day at work and ending up crying is setting a man up for failure. What guys need to do is not talk and just hug their girl, let them cry into their shoulders. That's comforting, and there's no way a man can mess up, unless he started groping her. (Which would be his own fault, not the girls' >:|)
    I'm sorry, but not every girl sets a guy up for failure and it irks me when guys say that.
    It's too bad you stopped reading because you totally missed the point.

    To address your point, I didn't say anyone was being deliberately being set up for failure... I remarked on how it feels like being set up for failure. Anyone who would deliberately set their SO up for failure won't have a SO for long.

    Unless you give your SO instructions on what your expectations are in situations like this (and let's face it, once the emotional torrent starts, you're not going to be giving anyone useful instructions), then he has to depend on whatever previous experiences he's had to try to cope... but it's really a crap-shoot...

    I think I'm lucky because I have three sisters so I'm pretty good at dealing with most situations... but my wife acts and reacts completely differently than any of my sisters or any other previous relationship.
  • I don't 'do' crying or emotional outbursts and I like to solve problems myself. When BF and I argue we usually end up laughing about it.... I think I might be a guy....

    No I think you might be AWESOME!