Curious on how you see this...

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  • kit_katty
    kit_katty Posts: 994 Member
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    There are unofficial quite trains on the metro-north lines into Manhattan on the really early trains - like 5 am - 7am. The conductors turn down the lights and, if they are around, point out to people using the phone or having conversations that everyone else is resting. I see no problem with this. Some people do not have the option of getting more sleep or, for some, it is an early enough hour that they would prefer to grab some shuteye while staying stationary in the train. Asking once, politely, that someone perhaps try to lower to voice out of consideration for the rest of the car is not out of bounds.

    Thank you. From what I've seen, these are unofficial quiet trains as well, I take the 7am train, which starts even earlier as I'm a good third of the way along the train line. For the 3 months I've been on the train, it's extremely rare for anyone to be talking at all and if they do, it's quite hushed. Before I said anything I looked around and even from my seat I could see a lot of people sleeping and politely asked once. I didn't think that was out of line, they may not have originally noticed but obviously they did after I mentioned it as they quieted down.
  • corn63
    corn63 Posts: 1,580 Member
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    Some people just have naturally loud voices that carry.

    I have a feeling you're one of those people.

    I'm so transparent.
  • SeaChele77
    SeaChele77 Posts: 1,103 Member
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    Intresting. I will definitely keep what everyone's said in mind. I was raised to be overly considerate of other people. I wouldn't dream of talking loudly if there was literally no one else talking.

    Now if he was talking loudly on his cell phone - I could see being a bit more irratated. Still probably wouldn't say anything - but talking loud on a cell can just be annoying regardless if people are sleeping/reading/relaxing in teh same car/area. However, he was talking to another person. While she may have been more soft spoken - there was a conversation between two people on teh same car. I don't see anything inconsiderate about that. :/

    I get what you're saying, my entire point was simply that the conversation was much louder than it needed to be. How hard is it to talk a bit more softly? Assuming of course that neither of them was hard of hearing. And considering they did lower their voices afterwards, that didn't seem to be the case.

    I do understand what you are saying....it would be annoying and frustrating to have to listen to others' converstation when the rest of the car is quiet. However, the point being, asking them to talk softer can come off just a rude. Its public transportation and often listening to loud people is the price we have to pay.
  • mommyhof3
    mommyhof3 Posts: 551 Member
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    I was brought up to be considerate and I am bringing my kids up that way also. We don't do something that will annoy or interfere in what others are doing. I would have been right along with you asking them to please lower their voices. If they chose not to then that is their choice. I see no harm in asking nicely though.
  • ShreddedTweet
    ShreddedTweet Posts: 1,326 Member
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    I've done much the same in a very nice restaurant where a man proceeded to take out and try every ringtone on his new mobile phone to choose one. I just think it's common courtesy to respect the other people around you, speak more quietly, don't be a *kitten*...As long as you did it politely then you were in the right!
  • vim_n_vigor
    vim_n_vigor Posts: 4,089 Member
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    The early morning commute lines do tend to have more of an expectation of quiet. I don't see any problem with asking them if they could talk at a lower level. Expecting them to follow through on the request or repeatedly making it would be rude though. When I had to take early morning flights for work, I had headphones on to keep out the noise.
  • kit_katty
    kit_katty Posts: 994 Member
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    I've done much the same in a very nice restaurant where a man proceeded to take out and try every ringtone on his new mobile phone to choose one. I just think it's common courtesy to respect the other people around you, speak more quietly, don't be a *kitten*...As long as you did it politely then you were in the right!

    To me it's the same thing, just common courtesty to respect those around you. I was polite when I asked.
  • newcs
    newcs Posts: 717 Member
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    And you also have to take into consideration one of them might have a hearing problem. If the loud one cant hear well he may end up talking louder than he think he is...or the quiet one might have a hard time hearing so he has to speak up or her to hear him .....just a thought.

    I agree with this answer - I have friends and relatives who cannot hear/understand me unless I raise my voice. I also agree that it's fine if you politely ask someone to speak more quietly but at the same time, they have the right to choose to or not. Personally I would keep to using my "inside voice" but I'm also often overly considerate.
  • april_khalia
    april_khalia Posts: 37 Member
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    A closed mouth doesnt get fed. It is absolutley ok to ask some one to be quiet. However it is ok for them to say no.
  • sunshine_gem
    sunshine_gem Posts: 390 Member
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    As others have said, if it's not a designated quiet car then yeah you can ask, if it's bothering you that much but they don't have to comply and may view you as rude. I would. 2 people in a public place having a conversation is not being rude. It's called living life. I regularly get an early train so I do know what you're talking about but still, it's a public place, if there are no rules then you don't really have any right to dictate what you think others should do just because you were raised a certain way. I get irritated by people on the trains so I just wear headphones and listen to music. Problem solved.

    You also talk about common courtesy. In what way? Was what they were discussing inappropriate or just a general conversation? If it was a general conversation then honestly, I think you were wrong. If it was rude, inappropriate or loud and disruptive then that's not so bad.
  • mcrowe1016
    mcrowe1016 Posts: 647 Member
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    You have the right to ask and they have the right to ignore you.
  • MeMyCatsandI
    MeMyCatsandI Posts: 704 Member
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    Two words: Ear plugs
  • magj0y
    magj0y Posts: 1,911 Member
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    Some people just have naturally loud voices that carry.

    I have a feeling you're one of those people.

    I am one of those people. A friend of mine had a customer call. The dude was hearing impaired, and my friend couldn't talk loud/clear enough, so i took the call. It was actually quite amusing.
    That said, I didn't realize how loud my voice was until my husband told me when I was 25. I still don't have an indoor voice, but it's much better. People ask me what's wrong or "what are you up to" when i'm quiet'er. It's honestly not easy to change to a lower voice. My mom is hearing impaired so growing up, I had to talk loud and "eenunciaaate!! Damnit!"

    I do go out of my way in places where it's quiet, but sometimes i just don't realize what volume I'm at unless someone tells me
  • JodietheIndeterminate
    JodietheIndeterminate Posts: 43
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    Hmm, I wouldn't usually ask someone else to lower their voices because it's a public space (unless it is a quiet carriage).
    It does, however, annoy me when people think we all need to hear their conversation. Those people do usually seem to be under the impression they are so fascinating we should all be allowed to hear all about their exciting lives. Yawn.

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