I need a good comeback! Tired of being made fun of...

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Replies

  • BeSophisticate
    BeSophisticate Posts: 132
    If you want to change someone else's behaviour then the person to start with is yourself. This is a repeating family scenario and everyone is repeating the 'same old, same old' roles within it. As it is obviously causing you distress then it is indeed time to break that particular merry-go-round (or carousel as you're American) and you do that by changing the dynamic, so that the outcome changes.

    A good book to read is called 'Hot Buttons' (How to resolve conflict and cool everyone down- by Evans and Cohen - costs $14 on Amazon) - it explains about how you can identify what it is that triggers you off, and how you perpetuate the dynamic by the way you react. If you react differently then the dynamic changes. It has lots of great suggestions about how to handle this successfully.

    I used to have constant arguments with my mum - she'd say something, I'd take offence, I'd snip back at her and she'd then say something else and it escalated into an argument, which invariably ended up by me losing my temper and walking out. Happened that way for 20 years.

    Using the techniques I learned in the book, next time she made a comment, I saw that she'd pushed a button that normally started an argument, but this time I didn't rise to the bait - I just laughed it off with 'Oh you're not going to raise that old chestnut again, haven't we done that to death? LOL' - and I instead introduced a different topic and the conversation went off in a different direction. Change the dynamic = change the outcome.

    The key point to realise is that YOU are the one with the issue here. YOU are the one who gets upset with people mentioning that you are a vegetarian. If you don't let yourself get upset then they can talk to you about it until they are blue in the face and it wouldn't make a difference. The problem is that it pushes your Hot Button and sends you off into defensive mode. If you didn't rise to the bait then they'd soon lose interest. So the person you need to change is yourself - change how you think, and change how you handle yourself when someone attacks your beliefs. That way you can change the outcome.

    I hope that the book helps. It helped me. Best of luck!

    ^^ This is the answer.

    Most other suggestions so far either recommend you get preachy, which will only net you this response: :yawn: , or they suggest you become passive-aggressive in true infantile form, which will net this response: :huh: .

    Following these suggestions would be a shame because they wouldn't solve the problem, they would make you an even easier target, and your family members might die of eye-rolling seizures.
  • RavenBeauty87
    RavenBeauty87 Posts: 83 Member
    I never go over and say things like that. Family has taken me out to BBQ places and I never spoke up because I knew everyone wanted to eat there. I just said I would eat later. I understand why people get mad but I'm sorry I'm not going to start eating meat because that is all that is there. I never expect someone to go out of there way. I just get sick of looking at the food and them pointing to bread and saying "You can have that it doesn't have meat in it." uhhhh really by you saying that I feel like my IQ went down.
  • HypersonicFitNess
    HypersonicFitNess Posts: 1,219 Member
    I would go with the book of Daniel where he refused to eat the food of the Philistines in the King's house and was healthier because of it. Jesus ate food that was per the laws of Leviticus. The meat you are serving was feed hormones and other animals, it is unhealthy for anyone to consume.

    I would not go back to their house to eat, b/c that is horribly rude and uncouth to criticize and make fun a guest b/c of something they do or don't eat. You could always arrive after they eat and decline all food.
  • ChefTJP
    ChefTJP Posts: 108 Member
    I'd go to the store, buy the fixings for a truly epic brownie sundae, and make it for dinner. Then when people tried to eat some, tell them to piss off and eat it yourself.


    love it!!!!!
  • clydethecat
    clydethecat Posts: 1,094 Member
    i didnt read all the responses, but my go to comeback is to laugh with them.

    when they start making fun, jsut say "yep i'm a crazy vegan, but at least i'll llive longer than you" smile and laugh and they should laugh with you.

    theres no need to confront people who just think they're poking fun. laughing with them is the best comeback. make jokes about it, think of something funny you can say about you're being vegan, beat them to the punch.

    the more you laugh with them the more the sting comes out of the remark. and laughter is the best medicine :)
  • aliann30
    aliann30 Posts: 291 Member
    (so I think I first need to clarify that my comment about listing how a turkey is slaughtered was honestly not a real suggestion, just thought it's funny to think about the reactions)

    I DO however think that maybe you could look at it this way: If I had prepared a whole turkey dinner and everyone was all together having a nice holiday, I personally might be a little uncomfortable if I knew someone couldn't eat the food. My family, to break that awkwardness, would joke about it. Maybe that's what they're doing? Maybe it's awkward for THEM because they feel bad for their own choices, or bad that you can't "enjoy" what they are enjoying (in their minds). So maybe, that's how they're dealing with it, to make it a big joke. I mean honestly, my family typically makes WAY too much food for Thanksgiving, and EATS too much too, so for one person at the table to only have green beans on her plate would definitely be obvious and a point of discussion (in MY family). People don't have the same convictions, and so not everyone's going to understand yours and come from the same place.

    Maybe fix a few dishes (that are DELICIOUS) that you can bring and share? Maybe put a more positive spin on it, especially if your family can try the dishes and like them and see that your diet is not the self-depriving predicament that they supposed.
  • RavenBeauty87
    RavenBeauty87 Posts: 83 Member
    I've been doing the laugh with them approach for years.... yaaa made it worse cause now his and my family think it is even funnier.... oh, I have what I'm going to say and now I'm excited for the holidays :D
  • Humbugsftw
    Humbugsftw Posts: 202 Member
    It's the opposite for me: my family are all vegetarian (they're Hindus) and I am an Atheist non-vegetarian, and have been for a fair few years. They'd always mock me, or look at disgust at what I was eating. If they make comments, I tell them to mind their business and let me eat what I want to eat and they can eat what they want to eat.
  • Stacivogue
    Stacivogue Posts: 325 Member
    You could just tell them in graphic detail, with a powerpoint slide presentation, of how the turkey got to their table.
  • mfoutch86
    mfoutch86 Posts: 87
    I agree with most that posting on facebook isn't the way to go. And would stear clear of all the "facts" about the health benefits of being a vegan/vegetarian, because really, you can eat healthy, and unhealthy with any diet. Also, it might just make you sound nutty. My best friend is a vegetarian and her hubby is a vegan. They are both very gracious when offered something they don't eat. It is usually a simple " no thank you" . If really pressed, she usally just says she chooses to not eat meat, and doesn't respond any further. I think most of the teasing stems from a misunderstanding. When people doesn't understand things, they tend to ridicule it, to make themselves feel better about their ignorance.

    Also, something to be thankful for this holiday season- that we live in a society that we have the luxury to choose our diets and lifestyles. Not all are so lucky. We have an abundance of fresh delish foods in all forms. While sometimes it can be frustrating to be judged for our choices, at least we have them available. Imagine if we didn't have enough food to survive, let alone enough food to pass up in order to support a self imposed diet. That seems a whole lot worse than a few snickers at the dinner table.
  • Init_to_winit
    Init_to_winit Posts: 258 Member
    The Jerk Store called, they want you back.

    I believe the line is "The Jerk Store called, and they're running out of you!"

    ---classic Costanza
  • Cylinda30
    Cylinda30 Posts: 171 Member
    Release the "crazy". That will shut them up.

    love it :laugh:
  • barb1241
    barb1241 Posts: 324 Member
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    This. Can you say, "Pardon me ***hole, your ignorance is sticking out all over the place!"?

    Sorry, but good grief. You shouldn't have to justify it to ANYONE. I am not a vegeterian. It is irrelevant. You eat what you want and it is only YOUR business.

    Barb
  • Cylinda30
    Cylinda30 Posts: 171 Member
    Release the "crazy". That will shut them up.

    love it :laugh:
  • Rhia55
    Rhia55 Posts: 247
    Here's my response: "You decide to eat meat. I decide not to. If you decide to go jump off a nearby bridge I'll totally support you in that decision too."
  • BSchoberg
    BSchoberg Posts: 712 Member
    If your family asks if you'd like some ham, just say YES - let them fill up a plate to overflowing and put the plate aside. Eat only what you want, don't even comment. If you've been a vegetarian for this long and they are still acting like *kitten*, let them.
  • tarajoneill
    tarajoneill Posts: 24 Member
    You should print out some really graphic photos of what really happens to the poor animals in a slaughter house. Then after the see them, then say 'enjoy your meal!'
  • Velum_cado
    Velum_cado Posts: 1,608 Member
    I'd just smile and say, "I'm not being judgemental of your diet, please don't be judgemental of mine." And change the subject.
  • chubbygirl253
    chubbygirl253 Posts: 1,309 Member
    Then the adults make jokes and puts the meat in front of me and starts making animal sounds.

    the adults do this? what do the kids do, wear pig snouts and chase you with ham? sounds like a mature bunch.

    I suppose I would deal with them one on one. talking to them as a badly behaving group will likely prove ineffective. talk to mom and explain that it bothers you. explain how you would like her to help deflect this conversation if it comes up. then talk to aunt sally and do the same. if several key players are trying to avoid the topic altogether and changing the subject it will probably die down. I suspect they think its funny. If you explain to them ahead of time that you don't think they are laughing WITH you, but feel as though they are laughing AT you and you're tired of being made fun of at mealtime, that should help. If not, I would skip the family dinner.

    my twin has been a vegetarian for over 20 yrs now but I'll never forget the 1st Thanksgiving since she stopped eating meat. It was a major meltdown at the time but hilarious looking back. sis refusing to eat almost anything because our southerm mama uses meat dripping in practically everything. mama getting mad and putting a ginormous turkey leg on her plate and telling her to sit down and eat right now! sis storming off and spending Thanksgiving alone in her room. (we were 14) oh, fun times.
  • FlaxMilk
    FlaxMilk Posts: 3,452 Member
    I'd go to the store, buy the fixings for a truly epic brownie sundae, and make it for dinner. Then when people tried to eat some, tell them to piss off and eat it yourself.

    I stopped reading here, because this is the clear winner.

    I bring my own food and bring food I really love. People don't harass me (for the most part) because they know I refuse to "eat around" the meat or "pick it out." They also know I am not sacrificing and really love the way I eat, so there isn't any fun in bugging me.

    But I really love the idea of bringing some decadent, delicious meal. But I'd share it, because the best way to show that vegetarians can eat "normally" is to demonstrate just how much variety we can eat and how good it really tastes.

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