Getting your significant other on board!

You can still eat indulgent things, just eat less of them. Honestly, the main issue in losing weight (and more importantly maintaining the loss FOREVER) is portion control. Once you have that mastered, everything else is pretty easy.

Amen. That is all that needs to be said.

I was in a long distance relationship for several years and we just recently were able to move in together (!) Food has always been a big part of our relationship. We loved to try new places on our visits and hit up old favorites before heading home. He used to live in New Orleans, so there is no way I would pass up eating all that goodness when we only see each other 2 days out of every 30. We would enjoy ourselves without going overboard (usually) but we didn't eat out every meal and we are both relatively healthy people in our general eating habits. And I would still count my calories with my best estimates.

Going for walks or runs or whatever excercise you can do after your rehab would be great activities to do toghether. Cooking together can also be great. We used to kind of compete over who could make the best dinner when the other person was visiting. They weren't always super healthy meals but they were damn good and we had fun with it.

But it really comes down to what you want. If you are serious about eating a certain way you just need to explain how important it is to you and why. You may be able to find different kinds of restaurants to try that better meet your goals. Or maybe you need a different activity to do together. If it's important to you, you need to stick to your guns but don't be too hard on yourself or him. It took you a while to come to the realization that you want to be healthier so it's going to take hime even longer to get with it. Enjoy your time together and I hope you can get together soon. Good luck!

Hi All,

I am seeking some advice. I'm in a long distance relationship with the love of my life. Unfortunately, life and work circumstances mean that we live in different states about 10 hours a part. I sincerely hope that this can change soon, but in the mean time, we're far apart.

I've recently also had knee surgery and while in the process of recovering, I decided to finally commit to change my eating habits for good. I've made some excellent progress and in the process, put less stress on my rusty joint!

The challenge comes in when I get to spend time with him. Typically, we would go out for every meal. We love to discover new restaurants together and explore a new area. Food was our thing before, and while I am recovering I'm limited by various mobility issues, I can't go for a hike, a bike ride, a walk around the mall, day at the gym, etc ...

So far he's been pretty supportive, but already he's made "food" plans for us for Thanksgiving. I got a, "Ohh you can have 1 or 2 cheat days, it won't kill you". I disagree. I'm not sure he understands that this change for me means a change for us too.

How have you gotten your significant other to get on board? Any advice to share?

When it comes to the holidays, I agree with your SO. I plan on NOT logging on Thanksgiving and Christmas. On the other hand, if you're early in this process, I understand where you are coming from. It's hard, especially in the beginning, to detour from your eating plan.

For me, I plan on working out prior to going to our Aunt's house, eating a light breakfast, and enjoying the heck out of my husband's family. I have no intention of wearing "eating pants", I no longer look forward to the holiday as a day to eat till I can't move. I do however, plan on eating delicious, wonderful foods that I won't eat again for a year.

If your relationship is built around food..exploring and trying different restaurants then this is what he 'knows' and loves. You have made food "your thing" together so you have to see it from his viewpoint. If you want to change then it has to be done slowly. Start finding other things to make 'yours' but for now he is not going to understand that this 'thing' that was wonderful and you loved sharing with him before has somehow changed..

Do the holidays with him but start finding other things to do together that do not involve food or the pattern will always be there. Eventually one or the other of you will be unhappy that the other either 'is not the same person they fell in love with' OR 'the person that they thought loved them isn't 'supportive'.

In order to have change both parties need to see the problem through the eyes of the other.

Communication is the key. He cannot read your mind...you need to just be honest and tell him how you feel about "cheat days". It's not fair to make any person guess as to how you really feel about something, once he is armed with the information he can better see how to support you.

Hubby and I have been doing this together, and its been great....I'm tough for him when he's feeling weak and vice versa...BUT it was an agreement we made when we started....we would absolutely NOT enable each other as we have been for the last 9 years.