No.

Notice especially that many attractive qualities [in men] are often mutually exclusive (e.g. ambition and easygoing-ness, responsibility and spontaneity, or strength and sensitivity).

I have often bemoaned my inability to find a partner who is both sexually passionate and romantic as well as all of the other qualities I want. I have been assured that all of this can exist in one individual, but honestly? I doubt it. I have met a heck of a lot of people in my life, and very few seem to really be that complex or contradictory or have multiple and conflicting qualities.

I am interested in whether you agree that some qualities are mutually exclusive in men or women, and what you are willing to give up or trade for.

I think very few qualities are completely mutually exclusive - certainly not strength and sensitivity, to pick one of the examples. What I do think is that one sees different aspects of people's personalities, depending on the situation in which you first meet them, and the context in which they mentally 'set' you. Someone who knows me only in professional capacity, and who I see solely as a professional contact, is unlikely to see the easy-going or spontaneous sides of my nature - they'll get a full dose of responsible, highly-focused me, and will probably read ambition from that. Someone who only knows me socially, and who I have no professional contact with or context for, will see a totally different version of my personality.

Socially-adept people tend to present only the most situationally-appropriate aspects of their personality in any given context. That's why someone who doesn't understand social cues (someone with Aspergers, for example) or chooses to flout them deliberately, can be very jarring - their social responses, and the aspects of their personality they reveal, are not contextually-appropriate. Would you feel comfortable with a work colleague openly displaying his sexually passionate and romantic nature in a professional context? I'd say it's unlikely. The fact that he doesn't has more to do with context and situation than it does the existence or otherwise of those traits in his nature.

Can we have it all in one person? I think most people are a walking, talking, contradictory mess - I certainly am. Some people certainly display extremes of one characteristic, but rarely, in my opinion, does that mean they truly completely lack the balancing trait; rather, they have chosen to develop, or circumstance has made necessary the development of, that particular element of their personality, or they only feel comfortable/appropriate displaying that specific trait in the situation at hand. Get to know them better, or in a different context, and you may be surprised what you discover.

It's unrealistic to expect that one person will have everything. If we did, I highly doubt that there would be so many happy couples runnin' around. In my opinion there is always(maybe not ALWAYS) going to be that ONE thing that someone is missing... But most of the time it won't be that big of a deal.
I think that relationships require compromise... Much like everything else in life.

I agree with Anna that we can change or "adapt" over time but don't really change at our core.

It's not that it's impossible to find someone with all those things, it's just that we have to find them at the level that meets our needs and desires. Then on top of that the levels that we want in a relationship may turn out to be not as good as their other traits, or you find that what you wanted won't work long term because while it's awesome to have someone that can get up and go at the drop of a hat, YOU don't have a career that you can let pass you by.

It's not about settling, it should never be about settling. It is about being compatible and finding the person that fits you.

Well put, Kit! I think I may have misunderstood the question :laugh:

I have learned that one person does NOT have it all. Including myself.

Do I believe I will find someone one day that I can truly be happy with? Yes.
Do I believe they will be my "perfect" person? No.
Do I believe I will have to make a sacrifice or two or three to be happy with one person? Yes.
Am I ok with this? Yes.