Overcoming an Eating Disorder

I've had an ED since I was a teen. I can truly say I was unhappy, depressed, and had a low self esteem. I was sexually abused numerous times growing up and what I put in and did to my body I had full control of. I did it for control. It was crazy, I'd hide food in my closet and under my bed, because I forced fed.

I'd get it in check, then stuff happens and I'm back at it again. I also had to learn to love myself, to accept the flaws I see. (We all have them). There is no perfect body, we all have imperfections. But we only have one body. I had to think about the reality, I get this right or die! That would devastate my family, let alone my kids and my great husband. It's not worth it. I have so much more to live for and things to conquer. I'm needed here, God didnt make a mistake by placing me here.

To overcome, I had to find an outlet, when I wanted to do damage and not eat. I went to God. Seriously, I got into my bible, played my spiritual music and prayed. There is no one who loves you and wants you well more than Him. We all have a story to tell. We cant let anything stop us from being and doing what God has destined us to do. A huge sickness like an ED, cant be done alone. God can teach us to view ourselves as He does. We are ALL beautiful beings, flawless, and loved in His eyes. We just have to see it for ourselves. That should be something we profess daily.

I'm sorry, but I posted this as a reminder for my pals and others who struggle with the same thing. There are so many, male and female. There is hope for us. It is conquerable. With God and great family members all things are possible. It's a struggle, I'm not going to lie. But, what we do in life that is hard is well worth the battle. If it were easy, it wouldn't be appreciated. Obviously, I've conquered the battle, because I came to MFP trying to lose weight. I became so in love with myself that I ate everything. I can truly say now that I am healthy and beautiful (in my eyes). I am 5'2" and 129 lbs. Which is where I am comfortable. Gotta love my curves. It is my daily prayer for all that we conquer our demons.

Replies

  • Jamcnair
    Jamcnair Posts: 586 Member
    Inspiring. So happy for you.
  • silvergurl518
    silvergurl518 Posts: 4,123 Member
    this is TRULY a success story! congratulations on being in recovery!
  • lydiamitchel3
    lydiamitchel3 Posts: 15 Member
    Thank you for sharing this
  • Nicely done, sista!

    We live in an age where you can't swing a cat without hitting at least dozen people who've got serious trauma issues (not to mention the poor cat's), and we all find our ways to cope and survive. I LOVE you for your authenticity, and your bravery and your ability to filter through the nonsense to find where you really need to go to find healing, or Who, anyway.

    I'm addicted to books and food. Anxiety/depression/cPTSD/chronic pain, etc... it doesn't take much to trigger SOMETHING in the souffle that is me. Books may not sound so bad, but being in the room without being IN the room (because you're in a book, and don't hear or see anything going on around you) can be dangerous (at the very least to the upholstry) when you've got 3 little adventurous tornado monkies and a house to keep clean. :)

    And well, obviously the food thing got me here with some 55 lbs to lose (to take pressure off my dammaged spine, which spine and it's attending issues finds greatest relief in a book, paired with a nice soft doughnut. ;p)

    It's super refreshing to read about someone who's gone through the process and come out the otherside. I'm starting this journey (again, lol), and it's a daunting prospect, so thank you for the bolster to my hope.

    Happy Friday, sista, and add me for a friend if you'd like! ;D
  • PrincessNikkiBoo
    PrincessNikkiBoo Posts: 330 Member
    You never fail to surprise me. You are amazing. So inspirational and I am so proud of you!

    I can't express how much you mean to me as a friend! xx
  • brnsgrsbody
    brnsgrsbody Posts: 254 Member
    Nicely done, sista!

    We live in an age where you can't swing a cat without hitting at least dozen people who've got serious trauma issues (not to mention the poor cat's), and we all find our ways to cope and survive. I LOVE you for your authenticity, and your bravery and your ability to filter through the nonsense to find where you really need to go to find healing, or Who, anyway.

    I'm addicted to books and food. Anxiety/depression/cPTSD/chronic pain, etc... it doesn't take much to trigger SOMETHING in the souffle that is me. Books may not sound so bad, but being in the room without being IN the room (because you're in a book, and don't hear or see anything going on around you) can be dangerous (at the very least to the upholstry) when you've got 3 little adventurous tornado monkies and a house to keep clean. :)

    And well, obviously the food thing got me here with some 55 lbs to lose (to take pressure off my dammaged spine, which spine and it's attending issues finds greatest relief in a book, paired with a nice soft doughnut. ;p)

    It's super refreshing to read about someone who's gone through the process and come out the otherside. I'm starting this journey (again, lol), and it's a daunting prospect, so thank you for the bolster to my hope.

    Happy Friday, sista, and add me for a friend if you'd like! ;D


    I thought I was in a mirror reading about you and your story.. Wow we need to be friends because only people that go through understand others who do the same. ---> Sending Request now.
  • brnsgrsbody
    brnsgrsbody Posts: 254 Member
    You never fail to surprise me. You are amazing. So inspirational and I am so proud of you!

    I can't express how much you mean to me as a friend! xx

    ^^^^^^^What she said hunny bun!!!!
    So glad you are my friend ...MUAH!!! XOXOXOXOXO
  • dkward11
    dkward11 Posts: 11 Member
    Thank you for sharing your story. Another testimony to God's awesome love and grace! :smile:
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