I Want to Stay Fat

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Replies

  • sem41278
    sem41278 Posts: 89 Member
    I get what you are asking. I read awhile back sexuslly abused woman often gain weight as a defends to not get unwanted attention. Sometimes I wonder if I think I don't deserve to truly be thin.
  • fatfrost
    fatfrost Posts: 365 Member
    IDK, the main benefit to being fat as far as I can tell was that if you end up getting sick and losing a bunch of weight, you will then be a normal sized person instead of severely underweight.
  • StarChanger
    StarChanger Posts: 605 Member
    Yeah, truly no one wants to be overweight. If we were offered a magic pill that would instantly take the fat away, we'd all swallow it, right?
    If you have trouble losing weight, have you ever just asked yourself WHY you continue to keep the weight on? (For many of us, it's not laziness, etc.)

    Does not compute. You can't say you'd take the easy way out if there was one and then claim you aren't lazy.

    It means she's just like the rest of us. She works hard because she doesn't have the option not to. (Think: Lottery winner vs not)
  • chanybubbles
    chanybubbles Posts: 4
    theres a difference with having a bit of extra weight that doesn't put your health at risk and being plain old OBESE! I am obese according to my BMI and I heard time and time again diabetes...asthma...high blood pressure...and more and all that never motivated me but I knew that every time I told myself physically I was fine I was slowly destroying myself esteem I felt terrible after a while holding all this weight on myself and I never did a thing. I want to let go of this luggage of a weight that holds me back from being happy, healthy, and successful. How can I possibly excel in college, a career, take care of kids, and more if i'm so overweight. Look deep within yourself like I did and see where your weakness stems from within yourself whats really holding you back. Happiness is a big motivation for me and I'm in day 12 of being fit and healthy for the 1 millionth time but I am really determined to lose 130 pounds and continue to get my life back on track.

    P.S its like that commercial what will you gain when you lose?
  • coming_undone
    coming_undone Posts: 12
    Please tell me you dont believe this... Your boss is less likely to ever give you a raise because your health care costs are so much higher than your other employees, you dont seem motivated or "the obvious" choice for a promotion. Half the time, people dont ever find out if they are cheated on or not so the whole theory that "finding if your mate really loves you" is for ****. If your mate loves you then they want you to be healthy and live a long life along side of them. Not to see you self sabotage by eating and not exercising.

    I can go on and on but only you can stop making excuses for yourself. To each their own. I def will agree to disagree on this
  • orangesapphire
    orangesapphire Posts: 32
    Employers typically want healthy employees. Health care costs are one of the major reasons why. However, it is undeniable that competition abounds in the workplace. In some situations, the dynamic between a female and her female boss is unhealthy. It is human nature to be jealous of others who you believe are better in some way than you (better looking, more educated, richer, luckier, etc.).
    I am especially sensitive to this dynamic because I have experienced loss as a result of someone in my work organization being jealous of me. The specific incident was several years ago, but it was a traumatic event that still stays with me. This was a part-time, weekend job, but a very important one and one that I had held for a very long time. I was the best at what I did, but I was thwarted by two individuals once my immediate "supervisor" left and replaced. It was all done so underhandedly, so evilly. It was no doubt a sacituation where I had something they did not have, and they found their "in" and took it from me in a horribly devious manner.
    I have had other situations in my life where I have been the object of jealousy. And no, I am not saying I am great or anything. Part of my experience (not all of it) has to do with growing up with a narcissistic (infantile, jealous) mother. I just learned about the adjective "narcissism" a year ago.
    My current boss is a nice, fair person, but I have learned to respect boundaries, not get too chummy with her boss, etc. My attempts at being creative or innovative at work have all been met with reluctance and indifference on her part. She is old school, and likes to do things manually, whereas I like to automate things as much as possible so as not to reinvent the wheel and have to rely on my brain every time I do something.
    The only solution I can come up with for myself is to bite the bullet and be brave enough to drop the weight. And accept the fact that people may not like it, people may be jealous, people will pick at me at work, I will attract attention, I will be hated, and so on. I know this sounds extreme, but these things may very well happen in certain circumstances.
    I just read an article about how CEOs and oher successful people operate. They accept the fact that their secretaries may gossip about them, people may disapprove of them, etc. The more successful or great a person gets, the more negative stuff gets thrown their way. This is the way of the world. Successful people don't dismiss the negative stuff or pretend it doesn't exist, or be in denial about it. They just manage it, deal with it, and accept it exists.
    I think this concept will help me in getting it through my head that I can safely drop the weight and whatever negativity it will bring to me - - I can deal with it successfully. The pain is manageable.
    I read many supportive posts, but others that were not so supportive. My post is not an easy one to understand. I don't think some people understand it, as they never had the same thoughts, which is fine. I am glad for the supportive notes, as they have buoyed me against the negative reactions.
  • sarahsedai
    sarahsedai Posts: 273 Member
    Yeah, truly no one wants to be overweight. If we were offered a magic pill that would instantly take the fat away, we'd all swallow it, right?
    If you have trouble losing weight, have you ever just asked yourself WHY you continue to keep the weight on? (For many of us, it's not laziness, etc.)

    Does not compute. You can't say you'd take the easy way out if there was one and then claim you aren't lazy.

    I think the OP mentioned the 'magic pill' suggesting that perhaps, not everyone would be so quick to take it, or have no regrets. Provocative, seemingly illogical, yes? but based on other posts found in this thread, including my own original one, it might not be so unbelievable as you'd think.
  • dsckrc
    dsckrc Posts: 194 Member
    If you're fat:
    1. Female friends won't be jealous of you.
    2. Men won't make unwanted advances toward you.
    3. Your boss won't see you as a threat, and therefore won't be mean to you or try to sabotage you.
    4. You won't disappoint people if you get fat, because you're already fat.
    5. You'll find out who your real friends are. if they stick with you despite your fatness, they truly like you for who you are.
    6. You'll find out if your husband really loves you for who you are or for what you look like.
    7. You can skip all the stares, catwhistles and flirtatious gestures you might receive if you were good looking.
    8. You can feel satisfied you are not conforming to an unfair and compassionate-less society.
    9. You will be less likely to be abducted, raped, etc. You will be too heavy to be forced into a car or physically moved.

    lol. #4 had me cracking up :laugh:
  • Lrdoflamancha
    Lrdoflamancha Posts: 1,280 Member
    I wasn't overweight as a child. I wasn't overweight as a teenager. I played sports. I was on the dance team. I liked to dress up. Around seventeen, I began suffering from severe depression and social anxiety. I'm not sure what triggered it, or if it was always latent inside of me. That was when I started putting on weight, and have been heavy and -heavier- ever since. Over the last ten years I've struggled with body issues and self-esteem on top of these mental and emotional problems.

    Over that time, I have made some attempts to lose weight, which were successful until I just, stopped. These last few months I've been digging really deep, and I've realized that while most of my weight gain is credited to emotional eating... that in some twisted way, the thought of losing that weight scares me. I've hidden behind my low self-esteem and weight for a long time. What happens when I lose this weight? People might notice me. I might want more out of life, and I might get it. That scares the hell out of me. It's the same reason I don't dress up, I don't do my make-up. That monster inside of me helps me to sabotage myself. It seems crazy, but so do a lot of the things I think.

    I don't want to be this way. This isn't who I really am. I wouldn't call this extra weight a 'benefit', but a tool in my attempt to hide from the world. And those are the issues I'm dealing with this time around as I commit to healthy changes in my life, and losing this weight.

    You have got it nailed!!! Awesome response.
  • orangesapphire
    orangesapphire Posts: 32
    I agree, this reply is spot on.
  • jessicae1aine
    jessicae1aine Posts: 885
    Yeah, truly no one wants to be overweight. If we were offered a magic pill that would instantly take the fat away, we'd all swallow it, right?

    Truly, no, I wouldn't. I got myself into this, I'm responsible for getting myself out of this.

    But, that's not the topic, so... I've justified staying fat because I bought a ton of rather expensive clothes, and didn't want to wear them for a seriously short time before they wouldn't fit anymore. Now I own a sewing machine. No more excuses.
  • BeachIron
    BeachIron Posts: 6,490 Member
    Employers typically want healthy employees. Health care costs are one of the major reasons why. However, it is undeniable that competition abounds in the workplace. In some situations, the dynamic between a female and her female boss is unhealthy. It is human nature to be jealous of others who you believe are better in some way than you (better looking, more educated, richer, luckier, etc.).
    I am especially sensitive to this dynamic because I have experienced loss as a result of someone in my work organization being jealous of me. The specific incident was several years ago, but it was a traumatic event that still stays with me. This was a part-time, weekend job, but a very important one and one that I had held for a very long time. I was the best at what I did, but I was thwarted by two individuals once my immediate "supervisor" left and replaced. It was all done so underhandedly, so evilly. It was no doubt a sacituation where I had something they did not have, and they found their "in" and took it from me in a horribly devious manner.
    I have had other situations in my life where I have been the object of jealousy. And no, I am not saying I am great or anything. Part of my experience (not all of it) has to do with growing up with a narcissistic (infantile, jealous) mother. I just learned about the adjective "narcissism" a year ago.
    My current boss is a nice, fair person, but I have learned to respect boundaries, not get too chummy with her boss, etc. My attempts at being creative or innovative at work have all been met with reluctance and indifference on her part. She is old school, and likes to do things manually, whereas I like to automate things as much as possible so as not to reinvent the wheel and have to rely on my brain every time I do something.
    The only solution I can come up with for myself is to bite the bullet and be brave enough to drop the weight. And accept the fact that people may not like it, people may be jealous, people will pick at me at work, I will attract attention, I will be hated, and so on. I know this sounds extreme, but these things may very well happen in certain circumstances.
    I just read an article about how CEOs and oher successful people operate. They accept the fact that their secretaries may gossip about them, people may disapprove of them, etc. The more successful or great a person gets, the more negative stuff gets thrown their way. This is the way of the world. Successful people don't dismiss the negative stuff or pretend it doesn't exist, or be in denial about it. They just manage it, deal with it, and accept it exists.
    I think this concept will help me in getting it through my head that I can safely drop the weight and whatever negativity it will bring to me - - I can deal with it successfully. The pain is manageable.
    I read many supportive posts, but others that were not so supportive. My post is not an easy one to understand. I don't think some people understand it, as they never had the same thoughts, which is fine. I am glad for the supportive notes, as they have buoyed me against the negative reactions.

    I don't envy your struggles and haven't walked in your shoes but I would strongly encourage you to seek out the help you need and can develop a healthy approach to food, your body and your life.
  • orangesapphire
    orangesapphire Posts: 32
    Thank you. I have tried finding a therapist. I saw one for one session, and another for two sessions. Neither had a clue as to what I was talking about. I do not think my issue is a mainstream issue for people. I was glad to write my post, because it revealed to me that some other people identify with some of what I am saying.
    The fact is, so many people struggle on a daily basis , to better themselves, eat healthy, get ahead at work, look good, make more money, etc. So it might be jarring to some people to hear a person say they have been taking action (subconsciously, compulsively) to make themselves WORSE (specifically, fatter, unhealthier, and less attractive).
  • BeachIron
    BeachIron Posts: 6,490 Member
    Thank you. I have tried finding a therapist. I saw one for one session, and another for two sessions. Neither had a clue as to what I was talking about. I do not think my issue is a mainstream issue for people. I was glad to write my post, because it revealed to me that some other people identify with some of what I am saying.
    The fact is, so many people struggle on a daily basis , to better themselves, eat healthy, get ahead at work, look good, make more money, etc. So it might be jarring to some people to hear a person say they have been taking action (subconsciously, compulsively) to make themselves WORSE (specifically, fatter, unhealthier, and less attractive).

    If you talk to people who have suffered through depression then they will very likely understand. Please keep shopping for a therapist who can help you. They're like any other professional except that the personal "click" is critical. Find one that works for you. I personally found a lot of relief from simply exercising and getting fit. It hits some as a bit strange but it did work for me. However you can find help I wish you luck.
  • orangesapphire
    orangesapphire Posts: 32
    I appreciate your note! Thank you for your support and advice. It is a good reminder for me that exercise can be a powerful antidote to stress, depression and anxiety.
  • ostrichagain
    ostrichagain Posts: 271 Member
    They're like any other professional except that the personal "click" is critical. Find one that works for you.

    Can say this is completely true. Mine wasn't saying anything different, nothing I hadn't heard before. But I trusted him and I believed him. Finally it just clicked in my head and everything fell into place. Which isn't to say I was "cured", just that I was ready to face it and deal with it in a way that wasn't self-sabotaging. That's the daily struggle.
  • Alliwan
    Alliwan Posts: 1,245 Member
    If you're fat:
    1. Female friends won't be jealous of you.
    2. Men won't make unwanted advances toward you.
    3. Your boss won't see you as a threat, and therefore won't be mean to you or try to sabotage you.
    4. You won't disappoint people if you get fat, because you're already fat.
    5. You'll find out who your real friends are. if they stick with you despite your fatness, they truly like you for who you are.
    6. You'll find out if your husband really loves you for who you are or for what you look like.
    7. You can skip all the stares, catwhistles and flirtatious gestures you might receive if you were good looking.
    8. You can feel satisfied you are not conforming to an unfair and compassionate-less society.
    9. You will be less likely to be abducted, raped, etc. You will be too heavy to be forced into a car or physically moved.

    actually, these are many reasons i hide behind my fat. Im so afraid of being thin and catching a guy's eye. i didnt used to ahve self control or self worth when i was thin, dont know i will have it if i get thin again
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    If you're fat:
    1. Female friends won't be jealous of you.
    2. Men won't make unwanted advances toward you.
    3. Your boss won't see you as a threat, and therefore won't be mean to you or try to sabotage you.
    4. You won't disappoint people if you get fat, because you're already fat.
    5. You'll find out who your real friends are. if they stick with you despite your fatness, they truly like you for who you are.
    6. You'll find out if your husband really loves you for who you are or for what you look like.
    7. You can skip all the stares, catwhistles and flirtatious gestures you might receive if you were good looking.
    8. You can feel satisfied you are not conforming to an unfair and compassionate-less society.
    9. You will be less likely to be abducted, raped, etc. You will be too heavy to be forced into a car or physically moved.

    this reminds me of when someone had some material thing that I really wanted, but managed to convince myself that I was better without it. "i don't need those air jordans to play basketball, they just cost too muchand he still sucks.......except that air jordans are the best basketball shoes ever made, and actually DO help make certain aspects of the game better for nearly every player) kinda like " i would rather be fat and not have to fend off guys who were like hitting on me and stuff".....yeah who the hell wants to be flirted with and feel good about their achievements/body image anyway

    when I was a kid and thought this way, I would quietly feel like i was giving up on the inside

    Awwww....:frown: :cry: :flowerforyou:
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    I appreciate your note! Thank you for your support and advice. It is a good reminder for me that exercise can be a powerful antidote to stress, depression and anxiety.

    So can sunshine.:glasses: Not even joking. look it up.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    Okay, and not not to be funny, but I know it will seem kinda funny but not to be trite in such an emotional thread, but I am kinda gonna miss the elastic waisted pants. A little. I mean, I already am.

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