Movitation Needed....

grace343
grace343 Posts: 10
edited September 21 in Introduce Yourself
I am 28 years old. I have been called fat by family members since I was 5 years old despite the fact that all my biological sisters and one brother are considered morbidly obese today. In High School I weigh 124 pounds at 5ft 5 in. I ran track and worked hard on a farm. When I went to college I gained a freshman 100 pounds not a freshman 15. I ate emotionally late at night when i was studying. I ordered food from the local 24 hour delivery location. I started wearing baggy clothes and never dressing up to go to class. Family continued to call me fat and I continued to believe them and do the things to validate their suggestion. By the time I was a senior in College i was well over 300 pounds and gaining. I got married my senior year and gained even more... another 60 pounds. I would stay home and eat while my husband worked. When i got a job i would come home and just eat waiting for him to come home and then we would go out and eat again. He started cheating on me with other women. This only validated the need to eat even more. We divorced eventually. After the divorce i continued to eat at the same rate going out with my roommate for fast foods. I allowed myself to eat for the divorce. Then two years afterwards i moved to be near a boyfriend. I had the eating slower and more under control. I started losing weight with the motivation of a friend. Slowly I realized how gossipy this friend was and her motivation was not consistent and therefore i was not consistent. I lost interest in going to the gym. What I lost I gained back with the change in my lifestyle of not exercising. The only thing that has helped me to lose weight is exercising. Prior to going on a trip out of the country to Morocco i joined Bally's gym. I went regularly for awhile at 6AM to Bally's. However i got tired of waking up so early to go to the gym then have a long day and sometimes not see bed again until midnight. My energy was improved but i was not sleeping enough. The membership while just $26 per month was also not helping my wallet. I stopped going and eventually ended my membership. In Morocco I lost the most weight. I was there for one month and lost 23 pounds. I was so sick from the food and water, vomiting, diarrhea, intense stomach cramps and because everyone shared the same plate of food there was great portion control. Some of the food items were strange to me and so i was not eager to eat too much. Also as a tourist I did an extreme amount of walking throughout the day in the hot Sahara Desert. Coming back from Morocco I gained a significant amount of weight back... more than I lost ...now I am 313 and climbing. I need help and motivation. I hope to get some here. Why is it that my food consumption no matter how little or great has no effect on my weight loss? Exercise is all that works for me and I have little motivation. Most of my friends close to me are thin and not interested to exercise with me. Any advice or help is welcomed. My dcoctor tells me to see a nutritionist. I have been diagnosised with sleep apnea but all my blood levels are fine every year for cholesterol, sugar, etc. I am borderline in High Blood Pressure. HELP

Replies

  • katschy
    katschy Posts: 67
    It sucks to have to go to the gym on your own, and I know how un-motivating it is (I hate going to the gym). Are there any exercises you can do at home? A friend of mine lost a lot doing Richard Simmons' "Sweatin' to the Oldies", and I LOVE my Wii game "Just Dance", which is fabulous exercise equivalent to and much more fun than aerobics classes.

    Your motivation has to come from within. If your family is offering only negativity, limit your time with them; you need to feel good about yourself. Lose weight because you want to, not because other people say you have to.

    I've been here less than a week, but I've found a lot of positive thinking and support from others on the site; I hope you can find the encouragement that you need to get back on track. Feel free to friend me and I'll cheer you on from here too :)
  • RaeN81
    RaeN81 Posts: 534 Member
    If you can get in to see a nutritionist you should do it, it will be well worth your while. It's not always about how much we eat, but what we are eating too and they can help you get the balance you need. You seem very aware of the issues that have contributed to your eating (good for you!!); as a fellow emotional eater, I encourage you to seek out avenues to work on those as well.

    You can do this!!!

    Try to find some physical activity that you can enjoy too :) from what you have posted, maybe walking might be an option since you enjoyed it while you were travelling. Many blessings on this challenging and rewarding journey.
  • Jaamie
    Jaamie Posts: 1 Member
    Hi Grace. I can totally relate to your feelings about food. I just recently decided it was worth admitting that I had a fast food addiction. Not junk food like chocolate bars and chips-more like burgers and anything fatty with bread. I was eating drive thru at least 7 times a week. Mostly breakfast and lunch in my car (I was alone). One evening, after 3 drive thru meals, I ate a 2 cup serving of gnocchi at 10 o'clock at night. I wasn't hungry...but I didn't fill up either. I am a total emotional eater. I KNOW this. I wanted motivation to stop-which I got plenty of... but I just could not. Not for my own health, not for my husband not for anything!! Trust me, I had tons of reasons not to eat like that-I told myself while I ate...Presently, I have come to the conclusion that my relationship with food should be treated like a relationship similar to someone hooked on drugs or smoking. This resinates with me because after many years I quit smoking. Compared to this food addiction, THAT WAS FRICKIN EASY!!!! Anyways, I said all of that to share with you what I am doing because I know any advice helps. I woke up the other morning and decided I had to quit drive thru. I had to quit it like I quit smoking, which was cold turkey. The thought stung a bit, but I am finishing my second day without it and considering that a milestone. It really does matter what you eat, although I think for me it matters how. I usually am scarfing down whatever is in front of me-for many emotional reasons. In the past I have had numerous useless gym memberships, paid TOO MUCH money for weight loss programs-only to revert back to this binge eating. It's showing too. I may not weigh a certain amount but my hair is falling out and thinning, I have coarse hair growing on my chin and neck and worst of all I have not been able to maintain a pregnancy. That I link to my eating habits. Grace-I know you can choose to change your lifestyle!. Even though I am only 2 days in...No one else could have helped me-for the last 7 years everyone has tried in their own way and it just goes in one ear and out the other. YOU CAN DO IT! You just have to realize there is a point and you are worth it. Much success to you Grace!!
  • 106246
    106246 Posts: 8 Member
    I am so sorry that you have been treated so poorly....It hurts to be called fat by your family and friends. I hope that you lose all the weight that you want and that you do it for yourself. You can do this...portion control and exercise are key factors in weight loss. Be honest with yourself and log everything that you eat and give yourself credit for all of the exercise that you do. Please feel free to add me to your friend list if you wish. I wish you well and I KNOW that you can do this!!!
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