Do you feel like people treat you diffrent now that you've l

Hey!

It works the same for us guys too.

When I was in competition shape, women would be all over me like white on rice.

Now that I am heavier...I don't get the time of day from a woman.

So yes...you do get treated differently when you are not fat.

:mad:

Yep.

J why you yepin anyhow? You are so freakin cute it's crazy! Then you have a hot *kitten* gf.. wow to live like Jermanda! (like how i celebritized your name?)

Woo celebritized!

I appreciate that you say I'm cute. I don't feel it most days, unfortunately, but I make up for it with my sparkling, charming, personality. (hehe, whatever)

Most of my life I have been pretty chunky, with skinnier phases from time to time. A few years back in my early 20's I lost down to about 195-200 and was in great shape. I felt attractive then, because, well, I was, and the women were all over me. After I got married I was promoted to Detective and given a desk job. I put on about 80 pounds in 3 years and the attention from the ladies completely dried up. Another thing I noticed was that badguys disrespected me more when I was heavier. I guess a young, confident ripped out officer demanded more respect, than a fat, broken down detective. I don't guess I can argue with that logic.

After my divorce I love the 80 pounds and am now back down to about what I was then (just not quite as toned, but I'm working on it...) and I am very aware of the difference I get from people. Even at work, the people tend to respect my position of authority more without challenging me, and also seem more eager to get to know me and be my friend. One girl here at work told me the other day, 'J, I didn't realize that you were so funny until you lost all that weight.' Read between the lines on that one....

Anywho, yes, people do treat people differently. I think people who are more in shape are seen more as 'winners', and I think we have the media to thank for that. I mean, how many shows out there show the lovable lazy fat slob as a hero archytype?

For instance, when I was married, my ex-wife and I were referred to affectionately as Doug and Keri (from King of Queens) as I was the fat funny one, and she was the feisty skinny girl. As our relationship progressed, people almost started expecting her to be the smart one, and me to be the dumb, lovable buffoon.

Fact of the matter is, that now I am thinner, people *DO* treat me differently. Women are nicer and smile more, they also seem to go out of their way to help me etc. Guys tend to be more 'brotherly', treating me more as a collegue as opposed to an annoyance. I even had some random old guy elbow me on the street as we were waiting for the crosswalk to change, point at a heavy set guy that was standing on the other side and say 'Glad we don't look like that guy, eh?' I just answered, 'I used too.' He kinda looked surprised and said 'You did? Well, good for you for taking control of your life.'

Anyway, I have gone on too long, suffice to say, that yes, it's true. At least in my experience. It irritates me to be honest, but that's the way our society is geared. We are programmed early as visual creatures, and we evaluate others worth by the way they look. I guess this is all the more reason that those of us who are walking this journey should make sure we are aware of it, so we don't turn into those same people that used to treat us that way as well.

Yes they do guys look at me differently, but I think the worst part is the girls they give me the evil eye and I just want to pull them aside and let them know I am working really hard to be healthy and lets walk together :laugh: :laugh:

Hey!

It works the same for us guys too.

When I was in competition shape, women would be all over me like white on rice.

Now that I am heavier...I don't get the time of day from a woman.

So yes...you do get treated differently when you are not fat.

:mad:

I don't think it has to do with being fat really. I've been a big girl all my life and I'ma stay a bigger girl and I still get talked to. I think it's how you carry yourself. If you walk with your head high then it doesn't matter what you look like. People feed off of other peoples confidence. If I'm in a club and a guy is bigger but he has this way about him, I'ma talk to him regardless. At my heaviest I was treated fine, but I do walk around like my poop don't stink too. lol

I completely agree! It's all about the way you carry yourself and how you FEEL about yourself!!!!
:flowerforyou:

I would definetly have to agree with crystal. I've always been big, but always confident. Confidence can take you very very far. I dont think many girls are confident enough. Losing weight i would say makes me look better, but i feel happy even if i only lose a lb a week. Its ok...I think when u are big, and u lose weight u learn to appreciate ur body more,its just a physical change, not mental. But lots of times when smaller girls get big, its both mental and physical. I know plenty of pretty young & thin girls. and they are not as confident as you would think.
But in the end, unfortunately people do treat smaller people different. And thats the way our society is..

This is true. Actually, in my experience, the bigger girls were far more comfortable and confident than the skinny ones.

People do try to treat me different....I just don't tolerate it. :laugh:

Exactly... there are haters everywhere! Tell em to keep it movin!

Try being morbidly obese like I am...you are mostly invisible the heavier you are. People don't get to know me--they don't know how great a person I am and the wonderful things I have done. Professionally, it doesn't matter that I have a Master's degree. I actually had a prospective employer last year tell me they were not hiring me because of my weight. This is not a kind world to obese people. My general goal is for me to become healthy so I can live a fuller and longer life. However, a side goal is to lose weight in hopes that I will be less discriminated against.

YES!!! Its sad.:huh:

it is not just men. woman can be just as brutal.

my best friend growing up was over 200 lbs

I was 100 lbs soaking wet. I actually had a waitress bring me a big peice of mother butlers pie one night that i didnt order.

when she sat it down she told me to 'eat up honey, and dont share with your freind'. I told her to go to....well :devil: .... a hot place and not florida. we walked out and didnt pay for any of the check. we were 19 yrs old.

this girl could kick my but at jazzersize and could out run most of the boys in school.

oh for goodness sake-- let's not make an issue out of a non-issue. So what if people are "nicer" to you once weight is lost? Maybe they have a healthy respect for you/me/him/her because we're doing something respectable and taking off weight.

"Prejudice against fat people" is still acceptable because it's the one thing we can control for crying out loud. We weren't born fat. We got fat because we ate too much and exercised too little, and some of us, and we know who we are, were downright disgusting in our eating habits.

I let myself blow up after each pregnancy out of stress. I chose to eat, chose to get fat, chose to let myself look bad. If people want to judge me because of it, they have every right. Once I choose to take off the weight and do something respectable, I will love reaping all the rewards, some of which will be extra attention from humanity.

Lighten up people.

oh for goodness sake-- let's not make an issue out of a non-issue. So what if people are "nicer" to you once weight is lost? Maybe they have a healthy respect for you/me/him/her because we're doing something respectable and taking off weight.

"Prejudice against fat people" is still acceptable because it's the one thing we can control for crying out loud. We weren't born fat. We got fat because we ate too much and exercised too little, and some of us, and we know who we are, were downright disgusting in our eating habits.

I let myself blow up after each pregnancy out of stress. I chose to eat, chose to get fat, chose to let myself look bad. If people want to judge me because of it, they have every right. Once I choose to take off the weight and do something respectable, I will love reaping all the rewards, some of which will be extra attention from humanity.

Lighten up people.

Oh great going Marla, continue the stereotypes that fat people are out of control and lazy, and don't care about themselves. Each fat person is different and people don't get to know their story because of attitudes like yours. I was normal weight until I was repeatedly raped. I was very much in control of gaining weight...I was building up armor. My medications also made me gain weight. I have always ate healthy also...my eating habits are not disgusting. No, I wasn't eating a gallon of ice cream every night. Sometimes I was also too poor to afford "good food"...fat is cheap.

I am treated like a nobody because of my weight. That is wrong. It doesn't matter the wonderful things I have done with my life, I am just a lazy, out of control fat person in most people's eyes. Discrimination is wrong, no matter what kind it is. Gee, thanks, for saying it's okay to do so.