Do you feel like people treat you diffrent now that you've l
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*Gasp!*HAHA! You kill me!
Thank you....she is cute....despite my tragic story associated with her (not really the guy was WAY too creepy)
Well, to be honest, I do think you are pretty. So there.
Ah thanks ya nut.
However, I love Manda's dark hair so she is WAY hotter then me.
I am about to unleash the Manda bear fury on myself but...
*Manda might not be a true brunette....*
*gasp* :blushing:0 -
HAHA! You kill me!
Thank you....she is cute....despite my tragic story associated with her (not really the guy was WAY too creepy)
Well, to be honest, I do think you are pretty. So there.
Ah thanks ya nut.
However, I love Manda's dark hair so she is WAY hotter then me.
I am about to unleash the Manda bear fury on myself but...
*Manda might not be a true brunette....*
You are in BIG trouble mister!!!! :laugh:0 -
I haven't really known what I wanted to write. I came here because a friend said it's a great site for support, but within days of joining, I hear words like lazy, out of control, disgusting, etc. Now add to the list thin-skinned.
Discrimination is wrong, no matter what kind it is. Why should I be denied opportunities, earn less, and be seen not for my abilities and education all because of how much I weigh? People here seem to be defending this type of discrimination. There is no excuse for being discriminatory.
And Marla, you are not part of "we". I am not like you. I am a kind individual who would never use the words disgusting, etc. to describe another person. You have no idea of what my life is like. Have you had a prospective employer actually tell you that they were not hiring you because of your weight? No matter that I had done the job successfully for two years. I don't see you having the real world consequences of being obese.
I am losing weight because I want to be healthy and more functional. I have worked hard on my emotional issues. I am the best I have ever been. I have made health a priority in my life, and I am working hard to accomplish my goals. I work out on most days. I am doing well pre-surgery for lap-band in a few weeks. I don't need to have any negativity such as I have seen to mess my head up before the surgery such as I have experienced here in my first week. I live my life to the fullest I can, will be the same person (who I do like and respect) with or without the weight.0 -
I am losing weight because I want to be healthy and more functional. I have worked hard on my emotional issues. I am the best I have ever been. I have made health a priority in my life, and I am working hard to accomplish my goals. I work out on most days. I am doing well pre-surgery for lap-band in a few weeks. I don't need to have any negativity such as I have seen to mess my head up before the surgery such as I have experienced here in my first week. I live my life to the fullest I can, will be the same person (who I do like and respect) with or without the weight.
I find this fabulous....
People sometimes are....free with their opinions, it's their right....right?
However, it doesn't make it hurt less.
You are very welcome here and are doing an excellent job....0 -
I am losing weight because I want to be healthy and more functional. I have worked hard on my emotional issues. I am the best I have ever been. I have made health a priority in my life, and I am working hard to accomplish my goals. I work out on most days. I am doing well pre-surgery for lap-band in a few weeks. I don't need to have any negativity such as I have seen to mess my head up before the surgery such as I have experienced here in my first week. I live my life to the fullest I can, will be the same person (who I do like and respect) with or without the weight.
I find this fabulous....
People sometimes are....free with their opinions, it's their right....right?
However, it doesn't make it hurt less.
You are very welcome here and are doing an excellent job....
I couldn't agree more.0 -
Well, okay, now last word-- really-- I believe I referred to eating habits as disgusting, not individuals, and I was also referring to myself, and others who may like to honestly acknowledge that which got them in the boat they have found themselves weight wise.
I ate out of emotional pain part of my life, stress part of my life, habit the rest of my life and got fat. I'm not going to say "heavy, chubby, overweight." I'm not afraid of the F word. Let's face it, I'm fat. I don't like it. I want to change it. I'm responsible for it. I was disgusting in my eating habits.
However, I tried to excuse it and justify it for far too long instead of taking ownership of it and responsibility for it.
Personally, read the word PERSONALLY, I am not going to be the victim anymore.
As for employers not hiring somebody-- I am of the belief that an employer is free to hire who they wish. Discrimination is a fact of life in the business world. I'm sure I was turned down for promotions because I was a young woman who the powers that be feared would soon start a family and leave the company-- guess what? They were right. If they wanted someone thinner than me, maler than me, blacker than me, more Hispanic than me-- oh well-- it's their company. It is what it is.
Laurie, I meant no personal disrespect to you in any of my posts, or to anyone else. If offense was taken, I am sorry. I see life very black and white. I think it is awesome that you are trying to lose weight and tackle the physical issues as well as tackling your emotional ones that have caused you such pain.0 -
HA! I have the same thing.
Guys don't say I am pretty....although i did have this scarey "homeless" person tell me I was a "pretty lady" I almost punched him in the head (cause it was not a good day to start with). Oh! Or those little old guys in the neighborhood.....i am not sure they count.
I am sure guys think it....sometimes they are probably intimidated, insecure (too), or fear rejection....just like us!
I think you are pretty.
She is!! :bigsmile: I love her new hair!!0 -
HA! I have the same thing.
Guys don't say I am pretty....although i did have this scarey "homeless" person tell me I was a "pretty lady" I almost punched him in the head (cause it was not a good day to start with). Oh! Or those little old guys in the neighborhood.....i am not sure they count.
Some guy came up to me years ago at Wal-Mart and told me he "just had to tell me" that I was stunning. I turned red, said thank you-- turns out he was on a bus outing from a local center-- read between the lines. The guy wasn't all there. My husband laughs about it to this day, the snot.0 -
how do you guys quote on here-- I screw it up every time!!! arrggh.0
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Well, okay, now last word-- really-- I believe I referred to eating habits as disgusting, not individuals, and I was also referring to myself, and others who may like to honestly acknowledge that which got them in the boat they have found themselves weight wise.
I ate out of emotional pain part of my life, stress part of my life, habit the rest of my life and got fat. I'm not going to say "heavy, chubby, overweight." I'm not afraid of the F word. Let's face it, I'm fat. I don't like it. I want to change it. I'm responsible for it. I was disgusting in my eating habits.
However, I tried to excuse it and justify it for far too long instead of taking ownership of it and responsibility for it.
Personally, read the word PERSONALLY, I am not going to be the victim anymore.
As for employers not hiring somebody-- I am of the belief that an employer is free to hire who they wish. Discrimination is a fact of life in the business world. I'm sure I was turned down for promotions because I was a young woman who the powers that be feared would soon start a family and leave the company-- guess what? They were right. If they wanted someone thinner than me, maler than me, blacker than me, more Hispanic than me-- oh well-- it's their company. It is what it is.
Laurie, I meant no personal disrespect to you in any of my posts, or to anyone else. If offense was taken, I am sorry. I see life very black and white. I think it is awesome that you are trying to lose weight and tackle the physical issues as well as tackling your emotional ones that have caused you such pain.
Marla - I completely hear what you are saying - sorry if there was any offense taken on any end. Sometimes words that are used to empower (e.g. taking back the word "fat"), can also be used to oppress (e.g. by those who taunt overweight people).
I appreciate what you are saying about taking control and taking repsonsibility. I went through the same thing, as after I had my babies, I had this extra weight, that I needed to take care of. I made the decision to make a change, and felt that I was in complete control of the situation. I was born a rather plump (or fat!) baby to a mother with gestational diabetes, yet I kept rather slim most of my life with an effort toward physical activity and healhy food options. Even though I have a proclivity to being overweight, I have the power (and take the required action) to keep myself within a healthy weight range. As Dr. Phil says to my girl Oprah, "Some people have an easy time maintaining a healthy weight - but you just aren't one of them! Tough!".
Best of luck to you on this journey - it sounds like you are ready to meet with great success!!!!
:flowerforyou:0 -
HA! I have the same thing.
Guys don't say I am pretty....although i did have this scarey "homeless" person tell me I was a "pretty lady" I almost punched him in the head (cause it was not a good day to start with). Oh! Or those little old guys in the neighborhood.....i am not sure they count.
I am sure guys think it....sometimes they are probably intimidated, insecure (too), or fear rejection....just like us!
I think you are pretty.
She is!! :bigsmile: I love her new hair!!
Oh you are such a sweetie too!0 -
how do you guys quote on here-- I screw it up every time!!! arrggh.
Marla - when you click the "quote" button - so to speak - it quotes with the word quote before and after the quote in brackets [ ] You put your cursor after the last bracket after the actual quote and hit return to go down to the next line, then type!0 -
AJCM-- thank you. You made my day-- God bless. :flowerforyou:
And I'm right there with Oprah-- it is not easy for me to achieve and maintain a healthy weight. I come from "big" stock. There's not a thin woman in my family-- not one. I have genetics to contend with, and deeply ingrained eating habits from childhood to overcome-- but God help me, I'm going to do it. I was "thin thin" for one short time in my life, as a 19 year old after having major ovarian surgery and having a 20 pound cyst removed. When all was said and done, I was nearly 40 pounds thinner. Talk about people treating you differently-- Wowee-- male attention for the first time ever-- yeeha. And for one summer I could wear tank tops without looking like a tank in them. Mini skirts, sundresses-- it was awesome.
But, I hadn't learned how to eat, nor all of my emotional "triggers" blah, blah, blah-- 25 years later, (ouch) I was fatter than ever. All grown up, hopefully past the emotional baggage, it's time to take control and turn things around, for myself, my daughters, my hubby, my health-- not necessarily all in that order-- but you get the picture. But first and foremost for me. I'm tired of being owned by this, I'm taking it and owning it, and stopping it and not being ruled by it anymore.
Okay-- blabbing-- gots to get back to work--0 -
how do you guys quote on here-- I screw it up every time!!! arrggh.
Marla - when you click the "quote" button - so to speak - it quotes with the word quote before and after the quote in brackets [ ] You put your cursor after the last bracket after the actual quote and hit return to go down to the next line, then type!
Okay, here goes nuttin'-- let's see if I did it right.0 -
Wooo hoooooooooooo-- this day keeps gettin' better and better!!!!!!!!0
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I come from "big" stock.
:laugh: I love that, I am so gonna need to remember that.0 -
this is in response to all of the back and forth we've had from people about whether or not discrimination of overweight or obese people should be tolerated....
Whatever the reason is for someone being obese or overweight, there should never be any tolerance for discrimination. I am going to touch on the issue of food addiction, and this would exclude those who are overweight due to a medical condition..etc...
I honestly believe that food addiction is one of the scariest of all additions. People chose to drown their hurt, pain, emotions, whatever it may be, in a number of ways. Drugs, alcohol, sex, exercise, gambling, insert desired addiction. Of all things to become addicted to, food is the one you can not quit cold turkey. Humans don't need drugs, alcohol, sex..etc to survive daily life, but they DO require food. Thats why I believe that addiction to food is one of the hardest to control, you can not quit the addiction like in other cases, you MUST learn to control the addiction. This is something that we will have to work on DAILY for the rest of our lives. Minute by minute we see adds for food, walking down the street its plastered every where, its what we use for survival, to maintain life, yet in excess, it will kill us. I am terribly sorry, and my heart goes out to each and everyone with thier personal food addiction, each one of us for our own personal reason. WE are the only ones who can make our lives better. We do make our choices daily so we can chose to live healthy, or we can chose to let our past dictate what we do today.
being discriminated against for the way you look is hurtful and awful, but please realize that its ALWAYS going to be there. Its not right, but we are going to be faced with it. Arm yourself with the tools and strength necessary to laugh in its face!!
Good luck to everyone!0 -
I think the concern with the bluntness of the controversial posts is that, although living in black and white and accepting the discrimination that happens in our world is ones own choice or way of viewing life, this is a site for everyone. And as someone said early on, each of these threads is a conversation that you are more than welcome to participate in or not. I am most definitely an opinionated person but make a strong point of trying not to make people feel small in the shadows of my opinions. Speaking opinions with consideration for the fact that others will not feel the same way and some can even be hurt by your opinion versus speaking your opinions in a context of judgment ("let's not be so thin-skinned", and a tone that reads, 'it's your own damned fault you're fat so stop whining about it') are very very different things.
People are here because they WANT to make a change. They are undertaking the magnanimous task of reconfiguring paradigms and coping mechanisms and facing fears and emotional battles and a great amount of healing. Everyone to a different degree, but as has been said over and over, EVERYONE has their story. In general, I would suggest that this is a site where people are looking for safe support. It requires trust and vulnerability to open yourself up to the real kind of support that helps make this journey a success. Judgmental commentary is very destructive to that atmosphere which is why people have reacted so poorly to the way you've delivered your opinions. People are free to speak their minds, yes. But for goodness sake, employ some sensitivity, especially when you see you're hurting someone.0 -
I think the concern with the bluntness of the controversial posts is that, although living in black and white and accepting the discrimination that happens in our world is ones own choice or way of viewing life, this is a site for everyone. And as someone said early on, each of these threads is a conversation that you are more than welcome to participate in or not. I am most definitely an opinionated person but make a strong point of trying not to make people feel small in the shadows of my opinions. Speaking opinions with consideration for the fact that others will not feel the same way and some can even be hurt by your opinion versus speaking your opinions in a context of judgment ("let's not be so thin-skinned", and a tone that reads, 'it's your own damned fault you're fat so stop whining about it') are very very different things.
People are here because they WANT to make a change. They are undertaking the magnanimous task of reconfiguring paradigms and coping mechanisms and facing fears and emotional battles and a great amount of healing. Everyone to a different degree, but as has been said over and over, EVERYONE has their story. In general, I would suggest that this is a site where people are looking for safe support. It requires trust and vulnerability to open yourself up to the real kind of support that helps make this journey a success. Judgmental commentary is very destructive to that atmosphere which is why people have reacted so poorly to the way you've delivered your opinions. People are free to speak their minds, yes. But for goodness sake, employ some sensitivity, especially when you see you're hurting someone.
:flowerforyou:
In other news, I also have a 3.5 yr old and a 1.5 yr old!!! I see you are doing well with your weight loss on here! Congrats! I found it a real struggle to lose the weight after the second (we essentially had two babies back to back), and I'm still working on the last few lbs. My daughter is now weened as well, and that is another whole body issue! :ohwell:
Did I also read that you own a natural baby supply store? (or am I mixing you up with someone else). My children both suffer with bad eczema, so we turned to natural living / whole foods diets some time ago. Just thought we had some things in common.
:flowerforyou:0 -
Well, one last post on this, then I'll shut up--
With the exception of medication, show me one fat person who didn't, as I described, got fat because they ate too much and exercised too little? Yes, we all have our stories. Some worse than others. Food is a great crutch. And it is a common theme among fat people that food was their "drug of choice" to help them deal with their problems.
I don't sit here in judgment of You. I sit here in judgment of MYSELF. I am a member of this site, too, with a lifelong weight battle. My entire life I had 20+ pounds to lose, now I'm at 50+. Sure, I had emotional childhood issues, emotional adult issues that I "dealt with" by turning to food, but at the end of the day, regardless of what I've had to endure, I am responsible for what I ate, how much of it I ate, and how I let myself go. Healthy food or junk food? Irrelevant. Overeating is overeating, and again, we are responsible for our weight and what we do to our bodies.
I'm sure there are stories of sadness that will make our heads spin that were "helped" by folks turning to food. I am truly saddened to read of Laurie's trials. But, the bottom line of my post doesn't change-- find me one person here who isn't directly responsible for their weight gain.
Because we're in the same boat, I should think we wouldn't be so thin-skinned about it. Our stories may be different, but the bottom line isn't. We weren't born fat, it's something we can control as is evidenced by how much weight some of you all have lost, and since "society" knows this, if they wish to judge us negatively because of something negative in us that is controllable, so be it. With very few exceptions, it is deserved. And again, I'll be thrilled when I can take that issue off the table and won't have to be viewed thus.
(Please note that I've said US -- I'm not pointing the finger. I'm right there in the trenches alongside everyone else here who is trying to take off weight, gained for whatever reason-- )
Ya know I was just reading throug this thread...and I really find your opinion very offensive. Whether we control what we eat or not or how big we are....WHO has the right to judge anyone else....I am no better than you and you are no better than I...No one is better than anyone else. We dont have the right to judge, nor ridicule, or treat anyone else badly because of who they are. ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE ME...This is my opinion. AND I FEEL EVERYONE DESERVES RESPECT. It goes back to what my parents taught me..."if you dont have anything nice to say, don't say it at all" And if you think it is "OK" to treat someone bad because they have problems...I just can't sit back and not say anything. Yes some of us created our own mess...BUT, unless you know the story or walk a day in their shoes then back off. Some people have medical reasons for being overweight or out of shape. But the point is, it is not fair to treat anyone or judge anyone by their looks. IT IS WRONG!!
I also have to say that if the emotional eating is the problem...as a human being, instead of making the problem worse and saying mean things to depress someone or make them feel worse about themselves than they already do...either support them, be kind, or shut your mouth.
....Note, I am not saying you are judging anyone...I'm saying people that treat people badly because they have a weight problem are judging others. And its wrong....Also this is my opinion and my OPINION only so if you don't agree or if something I said offended you, I apologize. I just hate the way society and other people think they have the right to judge anyone else. They don't. We are ALL God's children and we are all here for a reason...And we should respect all of mankind and we really should not degrade anyone else.....eeehhh hmmmmm...I feel better now :laugh:0
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