Why was the person above u running from the po po?

^ Yes you did. He stole a whole facecord of firewood.

stole a riding lawnmower to get to liquor store

He was just minding his own business.....

Arson

Borrowed his friends pants and was afraid of what might be found in the pockets.

Funny-That was originally for ComradeTovarich

Stealing marshmallows from the grocery store

Thought the Officer was IT and they were playing Tag.

works as an escort.

He isn't. He's baiting them and then confusing them with semantics games subsequently making them crazy

Swarmed a 7-11 with her kids, emptied out the ICEE machines, grabbed a handful of lottery tickets and snagged a bag of Freetos on her way out the door...all without paying!